Chapter Ten: Past

Leaving home was the best choice I could have ever made for myself.

I had friends. Ethan was the only friend I had ever had growing up, and now I had a world of support from people I had met along my journey. Lance, Kurt, the Gym Leaders… hell, even Silver—of all people—treated me like an equal. I actually felt accepted for the first time in my life, and it was the greatest feeling.

I never wanted to return home, and why should I? Back in New Bark Town, I was nothing—a little girl restricted by rules and bound by invisible chains. Out here, out on my own, I was free. I could go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, and I could talk as if I actually had a voice. Everyone would stop to listen here.

Besides, what was the point of going back when I didn't have anything left there? My house, my few possessions in my bedroom, my mother… was it wrong of me to say that I wouldn't miss any of those things? My mother, who had tried her very best to raise me, could still send me messages and communicate with me—but that was all she ever wanted from our relationship: communication. She could get more of it the further away I was, maybe pretend as though I really responded.

And then there was Ethan, my best friend. Well, he was better off without me.

I was Champion now—what did it matter whether I went back or stayed out here and did some exploring? I had always wanted to go to Kanto, beyond the Indigo Plateau, and it was just a boat trip away. I wasn't some baby who needed to return before curfew. I was happy, free, and I had friends. No way would I return to a place that never felt like home.

There was something peaceful about being alone, though, despite my happiness at having friends. So, I left again, skipping right past New Bark Town and heading straight to Kanto instead. I had already been gone from home for about a year, and I hadn't once visited my mom. Maybe I should have felt guilty, but instead, I just felt like I was pushing off the inevitable. And I would avoid that as long as I could.

Maybe to a stranger it would look as if I were running away from something. But that wasn't true. I wasn't running away from anything—I was staying away from the world I left behind.

Until I couldn't stay away any longer, of course.

Just checking in on you, Lyra. I haven't heard from you in awhile, and I just want to make sure that you're doing all right. I know you're very busy, but I would love if you could stop home every once in awhile. You have more important things to do, I know, but I'm still your mother. It would make me feel much better if I got to actually see you and know that you're doing okay. Love you. Mom.

I didn't reply to that text, nor did I let it harp on me. To be honest, it didn't have the effect on me that I knew my mother desired. I didn't feel guilty, and I sure as hell didn't plan on going home. She was right—I had more important things to do than fly back home just to see her. I still had so many places to see, so many people to meet.

But when I continued forward without responding, the texts kept coming, and it wasn't just my mom sending them, anymore. Other people were starting to wonder where I was: Lance, a few of the Gym Leaders, Silver, and, of course, Ethan. And I ignored every single text, no matter how much I cared about all of them.

Except for one from Professor Oak.

Lyra, I have something for you. Please stop by my lab in Pallet.

Having just collected all the badges in Kanto, I planned on making my way to Hoenn next. Professor Oak would probably be able to help me get there, so going to his lab wouldn't be a bad idea—or so I thought. In the end, it turned out that this was just another text I probably should have ignored.

"I made arrangements so you can go to Mt. Silver in Johto," Professor Oak told me when I made it to his lab, and I inhaled sharply. Johto.

So, that was what this was about. Mt. Silver was a mountain in the East of Johto, and only powerful trainers were allowed to go there because of the dangerous and strong Pokémon that lived there. And there were rumors of an even more powerful trainer living on the mountain: the missing Champion from Kanto. He was even just like me, according to some of the people I had met while here in Kanto. Mute.

But I knew what Professor Oak was really up to. It wasn't that he wanted me to go to Mt. Silver for my own sake. He wanted to me to return to Johto, to go back home. He knew me—yeah, he was an old guy who probably didn't understand my situation, but he knew me nonetheless. This offer was just too good to be true.

And it was.

"However, I called your mother to let her know that I would be making these arrangements for you, and her one condition was that you stop home and bring someone else with you." Professor Oak smiled, even as I gaped at him, clearly holding back a chuckle. "Lyra, seeing as you are a minor, I am obligated to agree with her. So long as you are less than eighteen years of age, I am afraid I will not be able to allow you to go to Mt. Silver unless her conditions have been met, and there will be someone there to check."

I couldn't believe it. My mom and Professor Oak had teamed up to make an offer I couldn't refuse… I didn't care if I was a minor—I had left my home by myself, been all around my region and Kanto by myself, and here my mom was saying I couldn't do this by myself. Maybe she thought she was helping, but she just wasn't.

Still, my trip to Hoenn would have to wait. I would have to go back to Johto if I ever wanted to make it to Mt. Silver, and I definitely wanted to—how many people could say that they had been to Mt. Silver? It was a phenomenal opportunity, true, even if it was a bribe to get me to go home. But a couple of days at home wouldn't be too bad, and I could probably convince my mom to let me go by myself.

How wrong I was.

The second I walked in the door, my mom enveloped me in a chokehold hug, and I almost thought she would never let me go. It didn't help that she kept shouting, "Oh, Lyra! I missed you so much! My little girl!" in my ear over and over again—this, I thought, is why everyone should be mute.

When she finally pulled away from me, still holding onto my shoulders, she smiled. "Lyra, honey. I'm so happy that you finally came home. I've really missed you. I do wish that you had stayed in contact with me more often, but I know how busy you got after you became Champion. Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you!"

She hugged me again, and I patted her awkwardly on the back. Proud, sure.

"I'm making you a big dinner tonight," she assured me, as if this was really what I cared about. "And you can take a long hot bath, too. You definitely need to clean up a little. I can cut your hair, too—it's getting a little long too long. Oh, and I'm sure you can't wait to sleep in your own bed again! I just washed your sheets, so they're nice and warm."

Mom, I signed, and she paused.

"I'm sorry, honey, I know I'm rambling. I'm just so happy to see that you're safe and sound. I was very worried about you—especially after you went off by yourself when I specifically told you to go with Ethan." She sighed, and although her grin had faded momentarily, she plastered it back on her face. "In any case, you're back now."

Mom, I signed again, finally shrugging her hands off of me. What about Mt. Silver?

My mom raised her eyebrows, the smile vanishing yet again. "Mt. Silver? Don't you want to relax a little, honey? There's plenty of time for that later."

I shook my head. I want to go this week.

There was a flash in my mother's eyes, something that told me that this week wasn't going to be a possibility. Professor Oak must not have gotten everything… he had no clue what my mother would do to keep me around, and I should have known better. I should have known that this trip home wouldn't be a trip at all.

"I have some conditions, Lyra," my mom said, and I froze. "Professor Oak told you that I did not want you going alone, and I stand by that decision. However, in addition to this, I would like you to try meet with some speech therapists before you go. I know you have done wonderfully things even as you are now, but Mt. Silver is the most dangerous location in the country. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Even as you are now.

I spun around, my lip quivering. I wanted to scream at her, but that would just be giving her what she wanted if I could. And she thought I would get hurt? She didn't know me at all—didn't know what I had been doing the whole time I was gone. My Pokémon protected me, and I was strong enough to save myself, too.

And I certainly didn't need any speech therapists trying to train me like a Growlithe to speak.

You can't keep me here forever, I told her, and she gasped. She shouted my name as I turned around and bolted out the door, running to the edge of town and sitting down next to the river. I pulled my knees tightly against me, leaning my face into them like a little ball. It was too bad that I would have to go back eventually.

"She just wants what's best for you, you know."

I raised my head, the familiar voice pulling me back again. When Ethan raised his hand and waved at me, I shot up to my feet, running towards him and wrapping my arms around him. It was so strange… the way you thought that you could be okay without someone, but the second you saw them again, you realized how wrong you were.

Maybe he was better off without me, but I had to admit that I would miss him.

She wants me to go to speech therapy. You know that it isn't going to work, I signed, and Ethan frowned.

"Only because you think it won't," he pointed out, and I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't think he would be one to side with my mom. "Lyra, come on. You've never even tried it. There are all sorts of technologies and practices now that might be able to help. I mean… it wouldn't hurt, would it? What's the worst that could happen?"

The worst? What was the worst that could happen?

Well, for one thing, I didn't need a voice to do what I wanted. That had always been my opinion on the matter, and I was never going to change my mind. So, if I didn't need it, then why would I want it? As they said, "If it's not broke, don't fix it." I wasn't broken, just silent. There was a difference, and I didn't want anyone messing with my voice.

Was this selfish of me? Maybe. But I deserved to be selfish every once in awhile, as did everyone else. And I was adamant about this.

"Listen, if it makes you feel any better, I'll go with you to every one of your sessions. I will sit right next to you if you want, do all the things the doctor asks you to do… whatever you want, Lyra, I'll do." Ethan smiled at me, obviously trying to make me feel better. But I frowned, rolling my eyes at my next thought.

My mom will probably ask you to accompany me, anyway.

My friend nodded, and the two of us stood awkwardly in the silence that followed. It wasn't often that Ethan was the one to not respond, seeing as he could actually talk, but it was always strange when he was. The thing about people who could actually talk was that when they weren't talking, they were thinking—but it was more than thinking. Maybe it was contemplating or something deeper, but it was always obvious.

It could be that when Ethan looked at me, he could always see what I was thinking in my eyes, but whatever Ethan was thinking was invisible to me. The thought was hidden so deep in his mind that it couldn't be read by an outsider, which only made me want to know what he was thinking so deep. More often than not, of course, I would never find out.

"I missed you, you know," he finally said, and the words were light, not as saturated as I believed that thought to be. "You really need to check in more. When was the last time I heard from you? A month ago, maybe?"

I curled my hand and circled it across my chest, managing to force a tiny smile for him.

"Well, just don't keep me in the dark so much." He laughed, shaking his head so slightly that it was barely moving at all. "I sound like your mom. And speaking of her… she told me that Professor Oak made arrangements for you to go to Mt. Silver. You must be pretty excited about that. Must make the speech therapy worth it, huh?"

We'll see, I responded, and Ethan flung an arm over my shoulder.

"Yeah. Just give it a bit." He leaned his head against mine, the rim of his hat lifting a little bit. "Maybe you'll find your voice hidden somewhere in you."

I nodded, but deep down, I didn't want to find it at all.

And when I agreed to speech therapy, I didn't. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. Mt. Silver was a distant memory, something barely there anymore, but I had one more important thing to worry about: stopping myself from finding my voice.

Author's Note: Ah, and everything comes full circle.

One thing that I really wanted to emphasize in this chapter was her cockiness; in general, Lyra is extremely snooty in the "past" chapters, and I think the difference between this and chapter nine's present scene is really potent. Lyra sort of has this strong mentality that she can do anything she wants and no one should be able to stop her—which is great, but she goes a little overboard, haha.

Anyway, the next chapter will be the last! Can you believe it? I did say that this fanfiction would be pretty short compared to my others. Still, took me a long time to complete it.

Enjoy!