Chapter Eleven: Present

Ugh. My head… no, my knee… no, everything hurt.

I made the stupid decision to try sitting up, which I quickly gave up when sharper pain shot through my body, moving rapidly from my head to my feet. I collapsed upon my pillow again, blinking slowly to acquaint my eyes with the light. When I could finally open my eyes without issue, I looked around.

A hospital room. How had I gotten here?

Right, I had almost forgotten—Ethan must have brought me here. The last thing I remembered was him finding me in Mt. Silver, though I had no idea how. I didn't even recall leaving the mountain, and I certainly didn't recall coming here. How long had I been blacked out for? How long had any of this been going on?

"Oh, Lyra… thank goodness."

I moved only my gaze, refusing to try moving anything else again for awhile, and saw my mother out of the corner of my eye. She jumped to her feet, walking closer to me and brushing my hair out of my eyes. There were gray circles under her eyes, making it look like she hadn't slept in awhile. I supposed I knew why.

"I was so, so worried. I thought you had gone camping, but then I saw Ethan—I didn't know where you had gone, after all—but Ethan told me you had run away to Mt. Silver. Of course I was worried, Lyra, so, so worried. I called the police to track you down, but they said they couldn't look during nightfall—and they were skeptical, too… you know, because of the missing Kanto Champion on Mt. Silver. They thought maybe—"

I managed to hold my left hand out in front of me palm up, slamming my right hand onto it as if cutting something. The sign was an appropriate one, seeing as I was cutting my own mother off just to get her to stop. When she stared at me with wide eyes, I made the sign again, slower this time because I couldn't force myself to do it any faster.

I didn't notice my own tears until my mom reached a hand out and brushed them away with her thumb. A second later, she was crying, too, and she brushed my hair out of my eyes once again—just like a mother was supposed to do. Worry, like a mother was supposed to do. I had been so stupid, so cruel.

But then, Red had left his mom—all of his friends—too. Why?

I was just like the missing Champion of Kanto, after all. I wasn't anywhere near the person I convinced myself existed. I had been the one to hold myself up on a pedestal all this time, and the fall from grace had been long and hard. My body and my mind had taken the toll for that—I deserved this lesson and this pain.

"Lyra, I—"

"Oh, excellent, the young lady is awake. How are you feeling?"

A middle-aged man, perhaps the same age as my mom, walked into the room and smiled at me. As evident by his white coat, he had to be the doctor. Based on his cheery tone, however, it wasn't obvious that he was the one who had spoken. His lips looked as though they were permanently twisted into a frown, and his eyebrows were so low that he might as well have been furrowing them.

I shook my head just a little, realizing quickly that this was the only way I could do so. My neck was strained, as though I had pulled several muscles. Apparently my trip to Mt. Silver had been a lot more stressful on my body than I had ever planned.

"I figured as much." The doctor reached forward, sliding a stethoscope across my chest. "I was told that several of Mt. Silver's caverns collapsed—you were lucky that nothing worse happened to you. You just have a few bruised muscles, and you'll be sore for a little while. You will also have to wear a leg brace for your knee and use crutches for four to six weeks while it recovers from a sprain. I also want you to drink more fluids, as you were showing the beginning symptoms of dehydration."

I nodded a little, and my mother rubbed my shoulder. All that just from this one trip? How had Red survived all that time without any complications like this?

"I want you to get some more rest, but I am planning on discharging you tonight." The corners of the doctor's lips moved upward a little, perhaps in an attempt to smile, but now it just looked like he was grimacing. "I'm going to ask that she is not disturbed while she rests. However, if you need anything, just press the call button on the side of your bed for a nurse."

The doctor shook my mom's hand before exiting the room. My mom rose to her feet a second later, but I grabbed her arm to stop her. Where are my Pokémon? I asked, my movements slow and jagged.

"Don't worry, honey. Ethan took them to a Pokémon Center and got them all healed up for you. They're waiting for you at home." She smiled, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I love you, Lyra."

She didn't wait for me to say it back, since I very rarely did, but as she walked out of the room, I held up my index finger, pinky, and thumb to her. I was still bitter—that was something that was built into my coding, perhaps. Still, she was my mom. I had to give her something, at least, even if it wasn't much.

I closed my eyes, not realizing how heavy my eyelids were until my eyes were shut. How I could have been unconscious for so long and still be tired, I wasn't sure. But the second my eyelids touched, I felt myself drifting off into the dreamland again—at least until I heard my best friend's voice in the hallway.

"How is she?"

"All right—tired, I think, and she definitely looked sore," my mother's voice responded, and I opened my eyes again. Ethan was here? Why didn't he come into the room? "You should have seen her face when I told her that her Pokémon were all right, though. It was like all of that pain just vanished."

"She cares a lot about them."

"I have to thank you, Ethan. Without you, I may have never seen my little girl again." My mom sniffled, and I thought about her tearing up in my room just moments ago with me. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't found her, which—by the way—makes me a little curious. How did you know where to find her?"

I pushed myself up just a little, wishing he would just come inside and tell me, too.

"She told me she was going to Mt. Silver… and I knew she was going to find Red—that Champion from Kanto. I don't know much about the guy, but if he's as tough as everyone says he is, I knew he would be in the place where he would be subject to the most extreme conditions. So, I headed for the summit. With that direction in mind, I just had my Pokémon track her scent. It was hard since the caves had collapsed, but…" He paused, and I almost thought he wasn't going to finish. "I would do anything to find her."

Silence followed this comment, and I swallowed. To think that I wouldn't even be here without Ethan… I would be dead if he hadn't found me, and I had been so mean to him before I left.

"Well, she'll never be put in that kind of danger again," my mom said. "I'll never let her out of my sight again."

"No!" Ethan shouted in a firm and adamant tone, and even I jumped. I could picture my mother's eyebrows shooting up, never having suspected Ethan to use that sort of tone against her. "Sorry. I just… I know why Lyra left in the first place—I know why she's always left. She just wants her freedom, and the more you hold on, the more she wants to break away. You're not doing her any favors by keeping her here. She needs to move on someday."

Yes, I had been so mean to him—all because I didn't think he understood why I needed to go to Mt. Silver in the first place. But he always understood. Sure, he didn't think it was smart, and it definitely wasn't—but he still knew why I had to go. And he knew that I would have to leave again. He always understood that.

"This is something that Lyra and I will need to discuss later, then," my mom responded in a low, warning tone.

I realized that after this disaster, my mom would want to hold on even more tightly. But for the first time, I couldn't really blame her. I didn't know what it was like to be a mother, nor did I know what it was like to have a daughter who was mute, but I knew that she just wanted me to be safe. I always thought that her holding me back was like a prison sentence, but I was starting to understand that it was just her way of showing that she cared.

Ethan was still right, of course. I couldn't blame my mom, but I didn't want to stay here forever. Part of growing up was taking risks and making mistakes. This had been the biggest mistake I had ever made, and maybe I regretted it—but I needed it. Sometimes lessons were hard and painful, but they were necessary all the same. I would never make this mistake again, never disregard my friends and family. I would hold onto what I had.

"Just… just listen to me," Ethan whispered, his voice barely making its way through my door. "The only thing Lyra has ever wanted was acceptance. She won't admit it, but she just wants people to like her as she is. And in order for her to feel accepted, you're going to have to let her go. She's not going to feel that way until you accept that she is how she is."

"I've always accepted her," my mom shot back, her voice much harder than Ethan's.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound rude, but no, you haven't." I pushed myself even further up, the pain stretching again, but I couldn't believe Ethan was talking to my mom like this. It was brilliant. "I know you love her and want to protect her, but you haven't accepted her as someone who is mute. You have hung onto her and tried so hard to get her to talk, but you've missed so much of her because of that. You've been so obsessed with trying to fix her that you never noticed how much she just wants to be free."

I collapsed back down against the bed, my eyes wandering around the room as a way to fight back tears. I couldn't believe it. Ethan knew everything.

I didn't know what happened—if someone got angry and walked away or if they just left the hallway to talk somewhere else—but the conversation subsided after his comment. There was only one thing sitting in the back of my head, a little voice that flashed as words rather than spoke, and for the first time since I climbed up that mountain, I smiled. It was enough to lull me gently back to sleep, a sweet lullaby that pulled me back to unconsciousness.

It was a familiar spot—somewhere I went when I needed to get out of the house. I had been here many times, found solace here. It was on the edge of New Bark Town by the river, the spot I often came to in a rage; tonight, I came in peace. And when I pulled off my shoes and socks, removed my knee brace, and dipped my legs in the water, I felt it.

"Where are you going next?"

I looked up, watching as Ethan took a seat beside me. He always knew the right time to show up—never too late, and always when I needed him most. But the thing was, I hadn't spoken to him since he rescued me from Mt. Silver. Even though I heard him at the hospital, he never stopped by my room, and he hadn't seen him in the week since. I thought he was avoiding me, which was weird considering all of the things I had heard him say about me.

I think I'm going to stay here for awhile, I told him as he pulled off his own shoes and put his feet in the river, all the while watching my hands.

"You? No way. I don't believe that for a minute." He grinned, a simple sign that nothing unusual had happened between us, but I didn't believe that for a minute, either. When I looked away, he sighed. "It's okay to be scared. I know it must have been awful being stuck in that cave without knowing if anyone would ever find you."

It's not that, I signed. I guess… I paused, resting my hands on my lap for a minute before continuing. It was hard to put into words, and I couldn't even articulate it the same way other people could. I'm a little embarrassed. I was really wrong. Red was nothing like what I thought, and I got my hopes up in thinking that he would understand me. In the end, he didn't, and I looked like an idiot. So, you were right. My mom was right. It's just better if I stay here.

"Well, that doesn't sound like you, either, to be honest, and I don't buy that bullshit for a minute," Ethan snapped, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise at his assertiveness. When had this happened? "I have to admit, I was really angry with you when you left like that. Not only was it careless, but it was selfish, too. So, I told your mom where you went, and that was that. I wasn't even going to go after you."

But you did, I replied, and he nodded.

"Because I realized that that wasn't me. I'm not the guy who can stay mad at someone, and I never could have stayed angry at you." He looked out at the river, kicking his feet in the water. "So, I went after you."

I didn't really get what he was saying. What did this have anything to do with me choosing to stay behind? I had my reasons, and I told them to Ethan. I was embarrassed, and I deserved to remain here for awhile. That was it. If he thought that was bullshit, fine, then it was bullshit. But to me, this was the price I had to pay.

"I've known you for a long time, Lyra. You're not one to just sit back and let everyone else do their thing and leave you behind—just like I'm not the type of guy to hold a grudge." He pulled at a piece of grass, throwing it into the river and watching it wade past us. "So, when you say that you want to stay here, I don't believe it. You're itching to get out there again."

Well, he was always right, wasn't he? Of course I wanted to go. But, like I said, I had my reasons for staying.

I remained still, my hands resting behind me and propping me up. There was one other reason why I didn't plan on leaving any time soon, but Ethan didn't need to know about that just yet, especially considering the weirdness going on between us.

I never thanked you for finding me, by the way, I finally said, and he rolled his eyes. I'm serious. You saved my life, Ethan. I wouldn't be here if you didn't come get me. And I was a complete jerk to you. You're right, I was selfish. But I shouldn't have treated you like crap. Especially you, Ethan. That's not me either. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just… I needed to go alone to find out for myself.

Ethan raised his eyebrows, asking, "But Red wasn't who you expected him to be?"

I rolled my eyes, laughing the best I could without a voice to back it up. Hell no. He wasn't the one.

"I know this sounds really stupid, but that makes me pretty happy." He smiled, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them. It was starting to get cold as the sun began to set. "I was jealous. You were so obsessed with meeting Red, and you were so quick to leave me behind. So… you know, I'm kind of glad that he wasn't your hero or anything."

I swallowed. Jealous? Really?

It was like Christmas or something.

"Not," he added quickly, "that I'm happy that he hurt your feelings. That must have been pretty rough, and I'll hate him forever for that."

I thought you said you don't hold grudges, I pointed out, and he laughed.

"Well, that's a different story." He pulled his feet out from the water, not even waiting for them to dry before struggling to pull on his socks and shoes. "Come on, it's getting kind of cold. Let's go back. We can watch a movie or something. Azumarrill really wants to see Typhlosion, anyway. It would be a good chance to hang out."

He stood up, and I didn't hesitate to grab his hand when he held it out toward me. The two of us stood close, our cool hands still together, but he was the first one to pull away. I bent down to grab my shoes, my heart pounding from what I convinced myself was the cold. Of course I knew better about that, too.

I knew he wasn't looking at me, but I signed his name anyway, circling it around my heart. I didn't know how long I had known for—maybe forever, maybe just recently. He was my first friend, the first person outside my family to learn sign language for me, and he was the one to rescue me when I needed him most.

But he was also the most normal thing in my life, so I shunned him. It had once been my goal to achieve normalcy, but when I determined that even that was unlikely for me—acceptable, of course, considering I had thought myself far better than normal at the time—I left that behind. I left him behind. He was constant, a reminder of home, so I forgot about him, too.

I had been convinced that he didn't understand, that he couldn't understand because he was someone from my home like. Yet that conversation I had overheard between my mom and him proved to me that he always understood. It wasn't Red—Red was never the one. It had always been Ethan who was right by my side.

So, it was only natural that I would fall for him, whether I realized it or not.

I had a feeling—a hunch—that he felt the same way ever since that day in the hospital. She's not going to feel that way until you accept that she is how she is, he had told my mother. He had always accepted this, even more than I had accepted it. I wanted to find someone like me, but the whole time, he was the only person to whom I could relate. If this was so, he had to feel something, too.

"Yeah?"

I jumped, lowering my hand. I hadn't realized that I had been signing his name repeatedly, and I blushed. Nothing. Thank you for helping me. And I'm so sorry for hurting you, too—

He grabbed my hands, cutting me off and pulling him closer to me. "You didn't, Lyra. Don't even worry about it, got it? You're the one who was hurt in all this, and I'm sorry for that. But don't you think for a second that this is about me, okay?"

I stared at him, seeing as it was the only thing I could do with him holding my hands like that. Now was the time, Lyra… now was the only chance—if I wanted to say anything, I could say it with my mouth for once instead of my hands.

So, I stood up on my toes and brushed my lips against his. It was a second later that he dropped my hands and moved his to my face, holding me against him and kissing me back more fervently than I ever expected. I was right, after all. He did feel something, too. All this time, we had been so close, and no one ever even knew.

"Come on," he said when we finally stepped away from each other. He held his hand out toward me, and it didn't take long for me to grab it. "You're going away soon, so we should spend as much time together as we can before you do. I just got a movie you'll love."

I pulled him back, managing to slip my hand out of his. Wait, wait. Where am I going again?

Ethan shrugged. "Wherever you want, I suppose. We both know you're meant to be anywhere but here."

I smiled and shook my head—how wrong he was, and how wrong I had been. At one time, this was a true statement, and it still was a partial truth. But there was something enlightening about all of this, something that gave pure clarity. True, I needed to go. He had been right all along, no matter what my reasons to stay were. But there was still that one reason holding me back.

Him.

I'll go wherever you go. I won't leave you behind again. You're the one who always understood me, I signed. His cheeks flushed, but he couldn't manage to hide a smile.

Then, leaning towards me, he put his lips to my ear. "You better heal that knee of yours up, then," he whispered. "We've got a lot of traveling ahead of us."

No one could tell where we might go or what we might say. But one thing was certain: Ethan had always been my voice, and he would always be there to keep me from being speechless.

Author's Note: So, it's been about a year and a half since I put the first chapter up, and the story is finally complete. I can't say I'm pleased with that completion time, and I know it probably cost me a lot of readers. However, I hope that the quality of this fanfiction was everything you hoped it would be. If not, I welcome suggestions for how I could have improved this.

The synopsis for this story reads: "Lyra has never spoken a word in her life. Though she's never felt it a handicap, she hates the 'test' that everyone forces her through. There's only ever been one person who understands—one person who believes she has a voice even if she can't use it."

In the first few chapters, I wanted to lead readers to believe it was Red. But, in actuality, it was Ethan all along. How many of you saw that coming, hmm? ;)

Anyway, that's it for this story! I hope you all enjoyed it, and I will see you all in about a month when NaNoWriMo is over.