A/N: The version of chapter title song by Meg Hutchinson is recommended.

Born In Time

Friday, November 14, 1913

Mary gave her mother-in-law an expectant look. Isobel had invited her to tea.

"The week after the wedding Matthew sent me a package."

Isobel stood up and retrieved a large thin rectangular document folder wrapped in brown paper from the desk. She showed it to Mary. On the outside paper there were the words:

'Mother do not open this until I tell you or you receive word of my death'

Isobel smiled at Mary. "Well I opened it right away and this is what I found"

On a second layer of paper underneath were the words:

'I must be dead because I don't recall telling you to open this package. Now please don't open it until I'm dead or I tell you. If you open it too soon you may wreck things.'

Mary laughed.

Isobel continued. "Yes, he knows me quite well. Anyway in today's post I got a letter from Matthew telling me to open the package" and she removed the last piece of covering paper, opened up the folder, pulled out a sheaf of documents and handed them to Mary.

Mary shuffled through them. They were all different types of investment certificates, share certificates and British Consols, all in Mary's name. On the top was a reconciliation; the total of the investments equalled the settlement Matthew had received from her father at the wedding. Mary did not know what to say.

"When I opened the package there was a letter" Isobel waved it at Mary "And remember it was written just after the wedding. Anyway in the letter Matthew wrote:

'When you think Mary has recovered sufficiently from the birth give her the package I sent you.

If you can be diplomatic, and Mother, I know that is a stretch for you, could you please suggest to her that she not reinvest the money back in the Abbey. If she does it will just get tangled up in the entail; I want the money to be solely available for her and the child.

Otherwise it is up to her what she does with the investments.

I would recommend that she hold onto the Anglo Persian Oil Co. shares; with ships switching to oil and so many more autos on the road I think it is a good long term investment.

Some of the money is in short term investments; I did this in the hope that she purchase a farm with a good house so that if things go wrong at the Abbey she and the child have a place to live.

I know that she is so pigheaded she will probably do the exact opposite of what I suggest but at least try. It might help if you don't mention that they were my ideas.'

Isobel looked at Mary "I think it is good advice"

Mary nodded. "I'll have to think it through, it is so overwhelming"

"That's all I'm asking dear. In addition to permission to open the package Matthew sent something else" and Isobel handed Mary some folded up legal documents.

Mary unfolded them. One was Matthew's consent to an annulment of their marriage, the other was Matthew's affidavit saying that their marriage had not been consummated. "He wants to be rid of me"

Isobel reached across and patted her hand "They don't say that at all. Look at them the way a lawyer would"

Mary read the papers again and shook her head "I don't understand"

"When Matthew was studying law he told me that the hardest part was learning how to think like a lawyer. He said most people just look at one side, a lawyer must look at both sides. You look at those legal documents and you see the word annulment and since you are not seeking an annulment it must be Matthew who wants one. That is not what those documents say. If he wanted to be rid of you he would be the one seeking the annulment. He is saying that if you want to leave he won't stand in your way. He has opened the door to the cage; if you want to fly away that is your choice."

"So if I don't do anything we will remain married"

"Exactly"

Mary slid the legal documents into the folder with the investments. She handed it to Isobel "Do you mind taking care of these for me? There are so many prying eyes at the Abbey."

Isobel nodded her agreement.

"Should I get an annulment?" asked Mary.

Isobel shrugged.

"Does Matthew love me?"

Isobel did not reply for a long time. Finally she asked "Do you love him?"

This time Mary took a long time to reply. "I think I do. I don't know when I started to love him. I'm starting to remember more and more of what happened when I was in the hospital. Not so much the actual details although Anna has filled me on those. I blush when I hear what he did for me ..."

"We all do dear" Isobel interjected.

Mary continued "What I do remember is that I was lost in a hot dark fog that was both black and red at the same time if you know what I mean and it was suffocating me and I wanted to give up and then a bright blue cool light surrounded me and hugged me and I knew I was loved and I was all right and another, smaller, bright blue cool light surrounded the baby and took him away and I knew it was to heaven and so I knew he would be OK too." she fluttered her hands "I know it doesn't make sense and is so melodramatic but to me that was what happened. His love saved me. And I fell in love with him"

Isobel moved over the sofa beside Mary and hugged her. Mary looked at her "You still haven't answered my question. Does Matthew love me?"

"I don't know. I know he has loved you twice, but I don't know if he loves you now."

"Twice?"

"I know it was an imposition for you when we came to Downton but to Matthew it was like falling into Wonderland, some elaborate fairy tale. He was the lowly commoner, who was secretly a prince, and you were the beautiful princess, perfection personified, who lived in the castle. He was going to slay a few dragons then carry you off on his white charger and you'd both live happily ever after. That ideal Mary was the first Mary he loved. He had no idea that that ideal Mary could pee and poop, barf and snot, and make a truly horrendous mistake. When he found out it broke his heart."

"You know you were dying?" Mary nodded "We had all given up on you and were just waiting for the inevitable. So when Matthew showed up at the hospital I told him to say and do whatever you wanted to hear to help ease your passing. Well you were so out of your mind you thought you were a loving couple and he played along. But then you didn't die. It was like he wouldn't let you die. You clung to him, incidentally setting a record for worst patient ever, and absolutely would not be parted from him. And he definitely learned you could pee and poop, barf and snot, because he cleaned it all up. Through everything that happened..." they both knew she meant the death of the baby "...he was there. Then you got better and sent him packing and that broke his heart the second time.

"So I don't know if he still loves you. You can only glue a broken teacup back together so many times"

-0-

Mary did not know how or when to tell her family about what Matthew had sent to her. Even though it had been send through Isobel she knew, she was positive, it had been sent directly to her.

Things were complicated by the visit of her Aunt Rosamund. She did not know about Pamuk and as Grannie has said 'I love her dearly but if you tell Rosamund about him you might as well take out a full page advertisement in the Times', so she was very down on Matthew, thinking that it was he who had done Mary wrong. It was the expression of this negative attitude by her aunt at dinner that night that tricked Mary into revealing the things she had received.

"Robert, I for one do not know why you let him get away with it. He's probably gallivanting down in Monte Carlo gambling away Mary's settlement while Mary is chained up here in this sham marriage. If only I had been at the wedding" here Rosamund paused to glare at everyone in general for not inviting her "I wouldn't have let him get away with it."

Mary tried to get someone, Grannie, her father, or her mother, to stifle her aunt but everyone seemed to have developed an interest in the intricacies of the china's pattern.

Rosamund continued her rant. "You know it's theft, that's what it is. You "she pointed at her brother "should hire detectives to hunt him down and haul him back to the Old Bailey to answer for how he extorted all that money from you. Hanging is too good for..."

"He doesn't have the money, I have it!" Mary snapped.

They all stared at her.

"And I am not chained to my marriage, Matthew has consented to an annulment if, if I want one" she emphasized the second 'if'

"And do you want one?" Rosamund asked.

"I don't know!"

"Well you should. There's no reason to remain married to him; even if he gave you the money back, he still deserted you." Rosamund paused to take a breath. "It is a marriage of convenience which is no longer convenient. Honour was satisfied with the death of the baby; it's time you moved on with your life."

Robert held up his hand before Mary could blow up. "That will be enough of that subject at the table. I am sure Mary will make her own decision about the future of her marriage in due course." Then looking directly at Mary he told her "I will speak to you tomorrow about putting the money back into..."

"I'm sorry to interrupt Papa but I'm keeping the money separate."

"Pardon?" Robert blinked at her.

"It is my settlement and I intend to invest it. I am thinking of buying a farm with a good house on it."

Mary gave her aunt a sweet but insincere smile "Now if you will excuse me, all this hectoring has given me a terrible headache"

Without waiting for permission Mary got up, placed her napkin on her plate, and left the dining room.