A/N: I apologise for the delay with this one. It was hard to get just right... so this is my second draft. I hope you will find it ok it really almost killed me! I am incredibly sick so I can't promise I will be able to post on Sunday but I will try my best! Let me know what you think!
Sara watched from the window as twilight descended over the city and brought it to life. Neon filled the skyline like a bad memory. She had come to this city seeking a fresh start, a change of scenery and a change of life but it had sucked her in to the darkness and every now and again she had to take a moment to find the light again.
Grissom handed her a plastic cup filled with steaming hot coffee. His eyes followed hers to the electric city outside and she wondered momentarily if he had the same thoughts she had. He had his own memories of this place, his own regrets and losses. Some of those memories were forever to be cherished, the moments they created together never failed to bring a smile to her face. So much had happened in her life she had hoped that all the drama was behind her.
She couldn't shake the feeling that Robyn was about to awaken all the darkness in her soul. The truth was Sara knew she deserved to know where she had come from she just wished she didn't have to be the one to tell her. Her entire life she had lived with the assumption that she was alone, she had detached from the idea of family in its entirety and accepted that she would never have someone she shared that kind of bond with.
There had been a time when she had envied those people who shared an intense familial bond with their brothers or sisters. In foster care she had shared a room with sisters; they had clung together through the lonely nights and whispered secrets to each other that she was never privy to. Her 10 year old self had always felt isolated by them and wished she had someone to share those moments with.
"The doctor said Robyn should be out of surgery soon" Grissom muttered.
He stood in the space beside her like her shadow, a constant silent companion who never failed to appear when she looked for him. She had once called him the only family she had ever known and that was true. He had made her feel like she belonged somewhere for the first time in her life, he had shown her just what having a family could mean. And she cherished that feeling with every beat of her heart.
Robyn had grown up with a family, she knew already what unconditional love meant. She knew how it felt to belong and be loved and never have to question the bond she had with other people. She would never understand how much Sara struggled to trust people, she would never know how deep the scars really ran.
"Do you think she'll be ok?" Sara found herself asking him, turning her eyes from the horizon to the comfort of his gaze.
Grissom's hand reached out to stoke her cheek, his caress enveloping her in its warmth.
"She's a fighter... just like you are" He pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering for a long moment as they stood there silhouetted by the window.
"What's taking Greg so long? He should have been here by now..." Sara wondered aloud, casting her eyes out of the window over the rapidly emptying parking lot spread out before them just as her truck screeched round the corner and pulled into a free space.
Greg looked like he was one word from crumbling. His red rimmed eyes stood in stark contrast to his newly pale complexion, his mouth was fixed in a firm straight line and she imagined he was struggling to keep it from trembling. He forced a smile for Joel in the backseat, swinging the boy into his arms as they approached the hospital as quickly as they could.
Before she even had the chance to reach him Greg had collared a doctor the concern shining in his eyes as he gave Robyn's name and waited impatiently by the huge white double doors that led to the trauma room's.
Her heels echoed across the vast space as she stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around her own body as a shiver worked its way up her spine. She tried to catch his eye with her own but he avoided her sympathetic glance knowing it would send him cascading over the cusp of his emotions when he needed to hold it together more than ever.
"Sir, Ms Morrissey is in Theatre" The doctor explained with a nod before backing away politely and disappearing behind the doors once more.
"How..?" Greg finally turned to face her, his eyes conveying all the questions his heart wanted to ask and Sara simply nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips as he pulled her into his arms and held her tight.
His grateful whispers disintegrated into her hair along with the few stray tears he failed to restrain and Sara realised she had made the right decision signing those forms. Her mind had been plagued with doubts when she had stared at those documents. The words seemed to dance off the page and spin around her as the doctor had stood by her side burning his impatient eyes into her forcing her to sign quickly and without really reading properly.
Time passed slowly in the waiting room, seeming to stretch out in front of them as the clock's ticking sound got louder and louder. Greg tapped his feet on the floor restlessly beside her, Joel coloured happily on the tiny coffee table placed in front of them humming to himself as Grissom read the health news newspaper.
Eventually a tall man appeared in the doorway and cast his eyes around the room full of relatives, calling Robyn's name out and waiting for a response. Greg shot to his feet, his eyes wide almost as though he was begging for good news.
Sara slowly pulled herself to her feet and swallowed the lump in her throat as she approached Greg and the doctor. A swarm of butterflies seemed to come alive in her stomach, the flurry of nerves responding to her rapidly beating heart as she considered the many consequences of Robyn's surgery. Joel slipped his little hand into hers, falling into step beside her as they approached the two men.
Greg was shaking the doctors hand enthusiastically as they arrived and she could only assume that meant it was good news. He turned to face them as the doctor retreated behind the doors. Greg dropped to his knee's, turning Joel to face him with a wide smile.
"Your mommy's going to be fine... she's going to get better"
Sara felt tension she didn't even realise was there suddenly relaxing. Greg stood in front of her and muttered yet another heartfelt thanks.
"What did they say?" She asked quietly, the words feeling scratchy in her throat.
"They've drained the swelling in her skull, they've got all the bone fragments from her spinal cord too... they won't know if she'll walk for a while but she was awake when they brought her to recovery so... at least she's conscious right?" He rambled excitedly. "A nurse is coming to get us and take us up to the ward"
The nurse arrived a short time later, guiding them through the maze of corridors and onto a bright open ward. Nurses and doctors scurried back and forth between rooms barely acknowledging their arrival as they were led to a small white room on one end.
Greg walked through the door without hesitation and Sara loitered by the window as nerves overwhelmed her system. Robyn didn't acknowledge his arrival; she was asleep or at least still drugged enough not to register his approach.
Her head was heavily bandaged, she imagined that the surgeon will have shaved her hair, at least at the back in order to access her skull. Her eyes were circled in purple bruising, one side stretching across the delicate sweep of her cheekbone and jaw. Tubes and wires snaked out from the canula in both her arm and hand on one side an uncomfortable looking metal brace held her body perfectly straight and pillows were stuffed around her in an attempt at creating comfort on the bed. It was tilted so that she was seated and as Greg took the seat by her side and raised her hand to his lips her eyes flickered open slowly.
Sara drew breath slowly as she saw the obvious emotion lighting Robyn's eyes when she saw Greg. She must have been so scared when she woke up in hospital, it was likely she would have no ide what brought her here. In most accidents the victims lost memory of the events directly preceeding it, a defence mechanism of the brains perhaps.
Greg pressed gentle kisses to each of her fingers and then to her wrist before he tangled his fingers through hers and rested them on the bed by her side. Joel left her side and went through the door, the caution obvious in his steps as he crept closer to the bed. Robyn smiled although Sara coud see the slight wince that crossed her face as she reached out to her son.
Grissom's hand rested on her shoulder, his breath tickling the hair that hung by her neck. His body behind her felt like a support system, a stake planted behind her making sure she always reached for the sun.
"She's ok..." she stated, almost not believing it herself.
She couldn't quite describe how it felt, her mind was a strange mixture of emotions covering every inch of the spectrum. She wasn't entirely sure how she should feel either, there wasn't exactly a handbook on how to deal with these situations.
A part of her yearned to be part of the beautiful reunion that was unfolding before her. She wanted to run into the room and declare herself and wrap her arms around her new found sister absorbing all the joy in her soul but she knew that was a naive expectation.
The more cynical part of her wanted to run. She was ashamed to admit to even herself that she was almost disappointed Robyn had awakened. It would have been easier to ignore if she had simply gone away and never made the connection.
"You should be in there" Grissom stated flatly, as though sensing her torment.
She stilled for a moment, her eyes still fixed on the three people sitting in the tiny room thankful for every breath they were being gifted. Grissom turned towards her, his eyes seeing into her soul much more than she would have liked.
"They're a cute little family" She sighed, smiling as Joel danced around the room clearly demonstrating something rather dramatic to his mother.
She looked exhausted, which was understandable. Every few seconds her eyes would droop heavily and she would heave a gentle and clearly painful breath into her chest, her grip tightening on Greg's hand each time.
"You are part of it you know..." Grissom reminded her.
She nodded, acknowledging his statement without confirming she agreed. Greg turned his eyes to the window and waved her inside. Without thinking too much she slowly stepped inside the room, a small smile her only greeting to Robyn. She didn't really know what to say, after all this time 'Hi I'm your sister' just didn't seem good enough.
"Sara saved you" Greg explained.
Sara pretended not to see the frown that furrowed Robyn's brow, instead choosing to take Joel's hand.
"I think all that can wait Greg... it's getting late. I'll take Joel out to the car, you can catch up when you're done" Sara said, hoping that the quiver in her lips wasn't as evident as she suspected "I'm glad you're ok Robyn"
With a nod she left the room, Joel following happily after a goodnight hug. Greg frowned after her but slid to the edge of the chair to make the most of his last few moments. He very carefully danced his lips over hers, making sure not to move the bed as he looked deep into her eyes.
"I thought I lost you" He whispered as his skin brushed against hers and her breath shadowed across the tiny hairs on the back of his neck.
"No such Luck" Her tired voice teased, even in this state she was still trying to be witty.
"I was so scared Robyn, I don't think I really realised how much you meant to me... you and Joel" Greg confessed, staring at his hand as he stroked her arm.
She didn't answer, her eyes closing again as exhaustion took over. She simply squeezed his hand a little, her lips tugging into a small half-smile.
"do you remember what I told you before? about Sara?" He asked, deciding it was best to bring up the subject while it was still fresh in his mind. With an immense amount of effort she managed to shake her head, frowning again as she stared at him.
"Oh..." Greg stated, nerves twisting the knot in his throat even tighter "Well the reason I said she saved you is... she's well...turns out you're the person she was looking for. She's your sister... your biological sister at least"
Greg felt the atmosphere in the room change immediately. The curiosity in her eyes was replaced by the million questions he knew she couldn't ask.
"Visiting hours are over sir" a small round nurse informed him with a polite smile.
She hovered in the doorway rather than lending them the privacy of goodbyes. Greg stood, leaning over her to press another kiss on her lips. As he stood to leave, her hand tightened on his and she pulled him closer.
"I don't want you to go..." she muttered, her words a breathless whisper.
"I... I need to" He explained sadly.
"I didn't want to know Greg... I didn't want to know about her" She said, with more clarity and certainty than he expected "I don't want to know...you can tell her that. Tell her I had a family... tell her I don't need her"
Greg was stunned into silence for a few long seconds. He had expected Robyn to accept Sara with open arms. They were different after all, where Sara saw darkness Robyn saw light. In this situation he wholly expected Robyn to be the easiest person to predict and here she was retreating from the revelation like Sara had.
"Robyn... she saved your life" Greg said, the undertones of his words making it clear he needed her to rethink her opinion.
"I don't want a sister Greg" She stated with certainty in her voice.
"Sir, you really have to go" The nurse piped up, the smile gone from her face as he approached her. at the doorway he turned back to Robyn, his eyes holding her gaze.
"I'll be round in the morning" He said sadly and turned to leave.
He genuinely didn't understand why they were so against finding each other. He would have given anything to have a sibling when he was growing up. Even now he knew that should a long lost brother or sister turn up on his doorstep he would embrace the opportunity, he knew for a fact he wouldn't turn them away.
Outside Sara and Joel lay back on the bonnet of her car as she pointed out stars. He could hear her explaining how the big dipper got its name as Joel absorbed every single word. He had suspected Sara held a long hidden maternal instinct. She claimed to be anything but but he had seen her interviewing children and finding truths on their lips they didn't even know were there.
"Thanks for waiting" He smiled slightly, exhaustion beginning to take hold of his body "better get this guy home"
He hoisted Joel from the bonnet and strapped him into the seat with a smile as Sara and Grissom bid their farewells. She had to drive them to Robyn's house since he left his car behind. By the time she pulled into Robyn's tiny driveway Joel had fallen asleep.
Greg gently cradled the boy in his arms, explaining to Sara where to get Robyn's spare key as he approached the door. She swung open the door and Greg carefully placed Joel in his bed, not bothering with pyjama's tonight. He tucked the quilt around his body and placed a kiss to his forehead before quietly closing his bedroom door.
Sara was slowly pacing the floor, scanning the multitude of photographs that dotted the walls and surfaces. Greg watched her for a few long moments, watched the curiosity and sadness filling her eyes and the way her fingers lightly brushed some of the frames. She stopped at one of the images, picking it up and studying it carefully as Greg approached her.
"Is this her parents?" She asked, smiling at the family portrait before her.
Robyn must have been around 8 years old, a huge labrador sitting by her side and a man and woman behind her with their arms around each other.
"Yeah, Joseph and Alice... They seemed to be good people" He said, taking up the space beside her.
"Thats good" Sara said, realising how stilted it sounded as it filled the air "I'm glad she had them... I'm glad she grew up properly"
Greg shrugged, taking the photo from her hands and placing it back in the very spot she had removed it from. He opened the drawer beneath it, fishing out another image and handing it to her without a word. In this image Robyn was a lot older, possibly closer to her early 20's. A man held her hand, his eyes vacant and his mouth twisted. He looked painfully thin, his bones sticking out at odd angles.
"That's her dad... He had Alzheimer's.. couldn't even remember who she was for the last 2 years of his life. Eventually a stroke killed him...she was in the room." He stated sadly, hoping he was getting his point across "We all have a story Sara, we all have something that made us who we are, that makes us cry or hide from our own shadows...we all do"
Sara simply nodded, she had already reached the decision that she was going to tell Robyn everything she wanted to hear.
What she didn't realise was that Robyn didn't want to hear any of it.