The morning came all too soon, bursting into her bedroom with beaming sunlight and bIrdsong. The space beside her was empty of life and it took her a few moments to decide whether Grissom had gone already or not. His whistling drifted up from the kitchen and the glorious smell of homemade pancakes tickled her nose. With a smile she crawled out of bed and shrugged her robe over her shoulders.
She loved waking up to her husband's legendary breakfasts. It was one of the many things she missed most when he was gone.
"Ahh just in time my dear" He smiled when he spied her in the doorway "Sit"
Dutifully, she slid into the chair with a smile cradling the mug of coffee he placed between her hands. With a deep breath she absorbed the thick comforting scent before bringing the mug to her lips and closing her eyes as the hot liquid awakened every cell in her body.
Less than a minute passed before he slid a plateful of warm pancakes onto the table before her and smothered them in maple syrup.
"Just how you like it" He smirked, taking the space in front of her and tucking into his own breakfast.
"Thank you" She smiled, observing him as though she was trying to memorize every move he made. "What's your plans for today?"
He eyed her somewhat suspiciously over the rim of his glasses before placing his fork down and raising his coffee.
"I have a meeting with Derek Simpson over at UNLV this morning" He explained, carefully gauging her reaction "But I'm free all afternoon if you wanted to do something together?"
Sara nodded with a small smile. He was making preparations to leave again and it filled her with a sadness she couldn't explain. When he was gone she didn't find herself pining for him every day it felt more like a part of her was missing, a part she only got back when he was by her side or she knew she would be coming home to his gentle embrace and his soothing heartbeat.
"I think I'll head over to the hospital with Greg, I should probably think about going back to work soon too... they'll be short-handed with Greg out of action"
She knew they would cope if they needed to. The Graveyard shift had worked on a skeleton crew before and managed ok but she needed something to keep her mind occupied and the truth was she missed being part of that team. She missed the race against time and the fight for justice, she missed the satisfaction of knowing that even though every single muscle in her body felt like it was about to snap, even though the pounding behind her eyes only got stronger and coffee could only awaken her so much that at the end of a long shift she could go home knowing she had done a good job and she had given someone peace.
"Don't rush into anything, go back when you're ready" Grissom muttered, unfolding the newspaper in front of him.
"What have you done with my husband?" Sara teased with a smirk.
Grissom responded with a quirk of his eyebrow, turning his attention back to his newspaper. Sara cast her eyes over the bold headlines distractedly before turning her eyes to him again.
"I think you're right though... Greg's probably going to need my help" She mused, raising her coffee to her lips again. "I'm not sure he's cut out to be a single dad"
"He might surprise you Sara, I think Greg will be a great father" Grissom stated matter of factly.
Sara nodded her agreement, she knew that Greg would make a wonderful father. He was more maternal than she was at times and had managed to keep hold of some of the child-like sense of fun she loved him for even after the trauma's he had been through but he wasn't known for his organisation skills and that was an important part of being a parent.
"I better get dressed" She sighed, excusing herself from the table with a gentle kiss.
He was gone by the time she returned, only a note pinned to the fridge to remind her he had ever been here.
"I'll be back around 4, may I take you to dinner? G x"
Little things like that always made her smile; The little notes he left for her when she least expected it or the single chocolate he would leave on the pillow when she wasn't looking. She would find notes hidden in the most unlikely places for days after he left, inside her kit, on her shampoo bottle, behind her favourite moisturizer or in the refrigerator. Whoever said Gil Grissom was not a romantic was sorely mistaken, of course he didn't make a habit of declaring his romantic side in public.
She folded the note into her pocket and made her way to Robyn's house. It wasn't too far away, a few blocks at the most but she hit rush hour traffic and found herself sitting around listening to trash talk on the radio with hundreds of other motorists. The lull gave her time to think about how she was going to approach her relationship with Robyn.
Robyn had a strong relationship with her late parents. She had been raised in a loving home and she cherished every moment she had with her parents. It wouldn't be easy for her to accept where she really came from, when she heard about the family she really belonged to it was bound to upset her. Sara knew, however, that if she was to forge any kind of a lasting relationship with Robyn she needed to show her hand in its entirety. There was no use holding back her honesty in this situation and while it terrified her it felt strangely freeing to know that someone else was going to be privy to her secrets. She wasn't alone anymore.
She swung her car into the driveway beside Greg's and scanned the windows for signs of life. Robyn lived in a small suburban community, curtains twitched the second her car rolled into the street and the neighbours made no secret of casting their suspicious eyes over her as she stepped out of the vehicle and looked around.
Robyn had mail, the little flag on her novelty mail box was a tell tale sign and as Sara casually strode over towards it one of Robyn's neighbours came out to greet her suspiciously.
"You're a friend of Robyn's?" He asked, retrieving his own mail but keeping his eyes firmly fixed on her.
"yes I am" Sara confirmed, taking the bundle of letters from the box.
"I didn't see her come home last night" He continued, obviously fishing for answers to questions he had no business asking.
"No, you wouldn't have" Sara smirked, turning to make her way back up the driveway.
"Is she ok?" The man called after her, still standing on the side of the road in his slippers.
"She will be" She reluctantly replied as she pressed the doorbell and waited on Greg's response.
There was no answer and frowning Sara peered in the closest window. She could see the kitchen, plates and pots everywhere, an open box of cereal laying on its side with a rainbow of cereal pouring over the floor, she could hear Greg's voice from somewhere deep inside the house so instead of waiting she tried the door again and found it unlocked.
"Greg?" She called cautiously as she stepped across the dark wood floors of the living room. Toys were strewn over the floor and she followed the sound of Greg's over enthusiastic voice to what was clearly a bathroom.
She swung the door open quietly taking in the scene in front of her. She could barely see Joel under the mountain of bubbles in the tub, water slowly snaked across the floor, following the lines of the white tiles. Greg was kneeling on the floor, a mound of bubbles on his head, his trousers saturated and his sleeves rolled up as he moved a toy shark towards Joel complete with sound effects.
Everytime Greg put the shark in the water Joel let out an animated screech and scurried to the far end of the tub making water lap over the edge and splash onto the floor. Sara couldn't help but smile at the image as she leaned back against the door and crossed her arms over her body.
"you know, if you didn't fill it so much the water might have actually stayed inside the tub Greg" She teased, laughing at his shocked expression and hasty attempt to remove the bubbles from his head.
"Where's the fun in that?" He responded with a smile as Joel replaced his 'hat'
"I hope you have a change of clothes here Greg, you can't go to the hospital like that"
Greg stood up, water dripping from his lower legs, sleeves and head. He shrugged, retrieving a huge white towel from the rack on the wall and holding it out for Joel to launch himself into it. He wrapped the boy up tight and followed behind him as he padded into his bedroom quietly. Sara followed shortly after pulling the drain in the bathroom and leaned against the door frame.
"Her neighbours are a quiet bunch, huh?" She smirked.
Greg wrestled Joel into his clothes, fighting desperately with the tiny buttons.
"you met Mr Taunsney already? He's...he's hard work" Greg shrugged with a smile. "wait till you meet Mrs Parish!"
"Those are odd socks Greg" She commented, Joel's feet clad in completely different coloured socks.
"Hey, I can't do everything right! Sock's are evil" Greg protested before turning to Joel "You want to go colour with Sara while I shower?"
"Can she colour?" He asked suspiciously.
"I'm sure you can teach her!" Greg smiled, steering Joel in Sara's direction and mouthing a 'thank you' in her direction.
Joel climbed up onto a chair pulling the huge collection of colouring pencils closer to him and opening a book. Sara watched as he furiously began filling the white spaces on a dinosaur image before she slowly made her way towards him and took the chair to his side.
"Do you know what kind of dinosaur that is?" Sara smirked, nodding her head towards the image.
Joel frowned across at her before picking up a purple pencil and concentrating on the feet.
"He's a Riceratops" He said with certainty.
"Triceratops" She corrected subtly "that's right"
"He eats plants" Joel explained, pointing to the leafy plant life beside the image.
"I see" Sara smiled, taking a pencil of her own and colouring a flower "We have a lot in common"
Joel frowned in her direction "You don't have horns!"
Sara laughed at his observation realising that perhaps subtlety was lost on a four year old.
"No, but I eat plants" She explained "Just like dinosaurs some people don't eat meat either"
Joel seemed to ponder this for a long time, chewing on the end of his pencil.
"But why don't you eat meat?" He asked curiously.
Sara was sudden;y stunned into silence. She couldn't very well tell him that her decision to become vegetarian had come on the end of an all night pig watching session with her now husband many years ago. She couldn't tell him about the morals and ethics behind her decision or how the thought of putting a burger in her mouth turned her stomach. It wasn't her place and she doubted Robyn would appreciate coming out of hospital to a vegetarian son.
"I just don't like it" She muttered, hoping that was explanation enough "Aren't there foods that you don't like?"
"Broccoli" He declared wrinkling up his nose "Mom makes me eat it anyway"
"Yeah well my mom used to make me eat meat too" She smiled "But broccoli's not so bad..."
She smiled as h wrinkled his nose again and shook his head, turning back to his colouring as Greg sauntered through the room with fresh, dry clothes and a bright smile.
"What are you guys talking about?" He asked, searching for his shoes under the sofa.
"Joel tells me he doesn't like broccoli" She explained with a smile.
"Can't say I blame you kid" Greg winked, waving Joel's shoes in his direction and smiling as he jumped down from his chair and bounded towards him.
"Are we going to see Mommy?" He questioned.
"I'm going to see Mommy, you need to go to school" Greg smiled, helping him into his jacket.
"But I want to see my Mom!" Joel huffed, sticking out his bottom lip.
Sara cleared the table of pencils and books, watching the stand-off in the corner with some amusement.
"I promise you can see your mom after school" Greg bargained.
"But I have a tummy ache" Joel grumbled, rubbing his hands over his stomach.
"You are a faker!" Greg smiled, tickling him and pulling a laugh from his lips "I'll pick you up early and take you for a burger ok?"
Joel nodded and turned his attention back to Sara as though remembering she was still there.
"You can't have a burger?" He asked her. Sara shook her head with a small smile.
"We can buy her a veggie burger though, if you want?" Greg offered, taking Joel's hand and grabbing his backpack from the counter. Joel nodded enthusiastically and Sara found herself strangely touched by the fact that Joel wanted to spend time with her. Greg met her eye, his expression conveying his own pleasure at the interaction they had established.
The three of them filed into Sara's car, Greg strapping Joel into his seat before taking the passenger seat. He directed Sara to Joel's school and within a short time they pulled up outside the small building. Sara waited in the car, watching as the staff descended on Greg with concern in their eyes. He left them with Joel after a multitude of hugs and handshakes and Sara smiled at the thought of his over inflated ego as he returned to the vehicle.
"He's a good kid" Sara stated as they drove away from the building and back onto the highway.
"He is" Greg agreed, picking his nails nervously.
Sara glanced in his direction as an awkward silence settled between them. She realised he had something to say, Greg was never like this with her. They always had free flowing conversation about anything and everything and even if they sat in silence it was never thick with tension and uncomfortable like it was now.
"What's wrong?" She eventually asked, his behaviour making her more nervous than she would admit.
"Nothing" He muttered, meeting her unconvinced eye and arched eyebrow "It's just... Robyn said something yesterday and I'm a little worried about what she meant"
"Well... what did she say?" Sara pressed, certain it would be something miniscule he was blowing out of proportion.
"It's nothing... forget I said anything" Greg turned his eyes to the window, staring at the cars flashing by and the buildings they passed and Sara was suddenly overcome by a feeling of foreboding.
"Greg... it's not nothing. Come on, you know you can tell me anything" She soothed.
His expression softened towards her as they pulled into a free space at the hospital. Sara killed the engine and turned to look at him properly awaiting his revelation.
"She... she didn't really take your news like I expected" He stumbled, unsure how to express Robyn's contempt.
"You told her... about me?" Sara gulped, all her preparations had involved Robyn as a clean slate without prior knowledge. The thought that she knew already and didn't take it well made a knot form in her stomach as they stepped towards the building together. Greg swung his arm around her shoulders, forcing her forwards before she had the chance to think too much. Sara felt an overwhelming sense of fear as the elevator took them towards the ward.
"It's fine... she was probably just high on pain meds right? Lets go, maybe she'll have changed her mind"
Sara nodded but realised that she had spent so much time rejecting the thought of a sister it had never occurred to her that her sister might actually reject her just as she was warming to the thought of letting her in.
"Greg..." Sara breathed, stopping dead in the middle of the corridor as Robyn's room came into sight. "I can't do this..."
Greg frowned slightly, steering her to the side "Sara, I'm sure it will be fine. She went through a lot yesterday... why don't I speak to her first?"
"I can't..." She muttered again, shaking her head furiously "I can't"
Sara turned and ran into the closing elevator, escaping the situation she feared most. She couldn't look into the eyes of another family member and see nothing but resentment. It would just be too much for her to deal with right now and was the exact reason she had chosen not to find her sister in the first place.
Sara was one familial argument away from succumbing to the darkness again and with Grissom's departure on the horizon she needed to hold herself together more than ever.