I hope you all can forgive me for making Lucifer slightly OOC, but well, this is a humor fic, and let's be realistic; Lucifer in the show would probably never go Halloween shopping with a human, Jo or otherwise. So please forgive my taking creative liberties. However, I had a lot of fun writing this one, so please be sure to give me lots of feedback!

Disclaimer: Same as last time.

Now up: Lucifer.

XXX

"Do I have to be here?"

"Hey, it's not my fault you got stuck with this."

Lucifer pouted. Damn his Father for forcing him to amongst the humans! Double-damn Him for putting him under the watch of the Winchesters and their lot! And triple-damn them for forcing him to go shopping with Jo for some stupid costume! Why when he gets his hands on them…

"Oh quit moping," Jo growled. "The others didn't bitch about it."

He glared at the blonde hunter. "And yet when you asked for someone to come shopping with you they all immediately volunteered me and ran off. Besides, I want absolutely nothing to do with this pagan celebration."

Jo stopped pawing through the racks of costumes. "You're against Halloween? Why? It sounds like it'd be right up your alley."

He snorted. "How so?"

She counted off on her fingers. "Well, it celebrates scaring the hell out of people, indulging in gluttonous amounts of candy, sins of the flesh—"

Lucifer held up his hand. "Let me stop you right there, Ms. Harvelle. I may be the Devil to you humans, but I have very little interest in the Seven Deadly Sins. They're beneath me. Though I'll concede to the scaring part. That's fun any day of the year."

A thin eyebrow shot up in disbelief. "You don't subscribe to the sins?"

"I'm an angel, remember?"

It was true that Lucifer had shown a lack of traits typically associated with the sins. He only really ate when forced by his brothers or the Winchesters. He didn't care about money. He started the Apocalypse and led the legions of Hell, so she couldn't exactly call him lazy. Still…

"Then explain Gabriel."

"What better way to hide being an angel than indulging in everything we don't?"

Point for Satan. "Ok, but you can't tell me you're not prideful."

"I'm not."

Jo scoffed. Shopping could wait; she had a fight to win. "Please. As much as you claim to hate us, I'll bet you get a hard-on from the fact people practically worship you."

"I don't. Human opinions are worthless."

"They are not!"

"Then prove that I should be flattered by you humans obsessing over me."

If Jo had one weakness, it was that she couldn't back down from a challenge. And while she knew Lucifer was exploiting it, she couldn't pass up the chance to put the Devil in his place. "Fine. Sympathy for the Devil is one of the greatest songs in the history of Rock and Roll."

"It blames me for wars that I had absolutely nothing to do with. I call that slander."

"School football teams have named you their mascot."

"And yet they never got my permission. Maybe I should sue."

Damn, the fallen angel didn't miss a beat. "The best kind of chocolate cake is called 'Devil's food.'"

"Which reminds me, what is it with you humans and giving desserts dangerous names? Is it some kind of counter-productive dieting fad?"

Ok, this was not working out like she'd planned. One more shot. "But you're one of the most popular Halloween costumes!" she argued.

He glared across the store at a display of Devil Horns. "I don't care what you humans think of me. You're all inferior, flawed creatures that mess everything up. You can't even get me right. The popular image of the Devil is actually Pan, the Greek god of nature."

He was right, but Jo wasn't going to let him win so easily. "Well, it's not like we can look at you angels outside your vessels anyway. Besides, there are other versions of you out there."

That earned an eye roll. "And I'm sure those are much more flattering."

"Hey, Sam told me that in Neil Gaiman's comic book series Sandman you look like David Bowie. That's pretty cool."

"So I look like a human. So much better."

"Better than a half-man, half goat."

That actually got the barest hint of a smile out of him. "Well played. I still don't care what image you humans use of me. It's nothing compared to my true form."

Jo rolled her eyes. The guy really was pride incarnate. "Whatever. You still need to shut up and help me shop."

He groaned. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"The Apocalypse ring any bells?"

"You're not exactly changing my mind about it, you know."

Massaging her forehead, she sighed. "Look, Lucifer, I'll make you a deal."

The Devil actually smirked and leaned over her until their noses almost touched. "Sorry, my dear, but I'm not Crossroads demon. You'll have to try harder than that to get a kiss from me." He winked and pulled back, amused at the way the pretty hunter's face flushed.

Jo tried to ignore the way her cheeks heated up and the arrogant smirk on his subtly attractive face. "Shut up! I was going to say that if you're so eager to get out of here, you should help me pick a costume. Standing around bitching is just going to make me search slower."

He considered this before pushing her aside and grabbing a random costume off the rack. He shoved it into her arms without even looking at it. "Here."

She glared at him before noticing just what he had handed her. This caused her face to stretch into a grin so wide and sadistic Lucifer briefly wondered if she had been possessed by one of his children. This thought was interrupted by her deceptively strong hand grabbing his cold wrist and dragging him to the changing rooms. She gave him one last smile before vanishing behind the curtains.

Lucifer tapped his foot impatiently. "I thought you said if I picked a costume we'd leave?"

Her voice was slightly muffled by the curtain. "No, I said if you helped things would go faster. I didn't guarantee it would end. Besides, I have to make sure everything fits and looks good!"

Naturally, Lucifer had too much dignity to scream in frustration, but the idea was strangely appealing. The humans really were starting to rub off on him. "Well, hurry up."

"Ok, I hate to tell you this, but you totally just sounded like a human guy just now."

Before he could threaten her, she pushed back the curtain and struck a pose. The fallen angel actually needed a moment to process the image in front of him. There stood Jo, pale skin contrasting sharply with the sparkly red, body-hugging mini-dress. Attached to her dress was a matching pointed tail, and on her head were a pair of little red horns.

She smirked and twirled the little plastic pitchfork. "Well? How do I look?"

Lucifer's face was blank for a moment, then twisted in rage. His scream could probably be heard at Bobby's.

"That's what you people think I look like?!"

"Aww, I thought you didn't care about what we thought of you?"

It gave her tingles to see him struggle to find a response. She had won their argument hands down.

He seemed to realize this too and quickly changed tactics. "Are you saying you're so enamored with me that you'd dress up in my so-called image?"

It pleased him how effective it was. "What? You're the one who gave me the costume!"

He sauntered up to her, smirk adorning his lips. "So instead you're saying I could dress you up however I want? Interesting proposition."

"Shut up! The fact is you do care what we think about you; otherwise you wouldn't care about this costume. Therefore, I win." She stuck her tongue out at him.

He couldn't help the low chuckle that bubbled from his chest. "Touché, Joanna. Maybe I am as prideful as they say. Perhaps I should start indulging in the other six sins." He gave her a slow, meaningful once-over. "In fact, Lust is starting to look pretty good right now."

She blushed and took a half-step back. "Um, but didn't you say they're beneath you?"

He pulled her into his arms. Red rather suited the young hunter. "Well, you know what they say." Lucifer leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Don't knock it until you've tried it."

And with a flutter of wings, they were gone.

XXX

Ok, that didn't turn out quite like I expected. In my original hand-written draft I just had the kiss joke and it ended with him screaming about the devil costume. Then I started typing it and well, this happened. Hey, it's not my fault Lucifer's so sexy! And, well, part of me just couldn't bear having him lose the argument with Jo without getting something else, thus the sexy ending. Hope you all enjoyed!

I'll leave this next one up to you guys: Castiel or Bobby?