A/N: Hey, here is my new update!
Ivan, who had been sitting comfortably on Yao's lap, contorted his face into the most constipated frown he could possibly muster. Being very well-practiced in this art, he knew that this was the exact kind of frown that would have Yao immediately carry him away to see the doctor, because it made Ivan seem like he had caught some evil strain of flu.
But, as usual, Ivan's diabolical schemes of trying to get Yao's attention had proven futile. His prey hadn't even looked at him for the past ten minutes, let alone heed to his cries for attention. Ivan regretted having invited himself to this party. He should have listened when Yao had warned him that this was going to be boring as hell!
All right, I'm going to give this one last shot, he thought to himself.
"Yao-" Ivan whined like a kitten, "Feed me!"
Upon hearing that dreaded voice again, Yao felt his right eye begin to twitch.
"Feed yourself!" he hissed between his teeth, looking around to make sure that no one else was paying attention, "I had taught you to use chopsticks yesterday!"
"But I forgot!" Ivan lied, and just to prove his point, he reached out in an attempt to grab a fistful of mutton.
Yao slapped his wrist away. Though everyone else at the table ate with their hands like animals, there was no way he was going to let Ivan stray down such a path. He was more than determined to convert his whole country back to civilization, one barbarian at a time.
So, rolling his eyes, Yao picked up a dumpling from the plate and shoved it into Ivan's giggling mouth.
For the past few days, the boy seemed to had gone through every length to assert himself into all aspects of Yao's life. To make things worse, he would appear at the most inopportune of times.
For example:
1.
To live with royalty is to live in a lion's den, and to do so, Yao believed that there was only a single technique one needed to master- deception.
Hence, despite having spent over five hours in this furnace of foul air, racketing chatter and lewd eyes, Yao's face had maintained the same serene expression, as if he was wearing a porcelain mask.
But on the inside, he was screaming.
"Dear honourable general who had taken the liberty to sit beside me for all this time, do you not think that I can notice your filthy leg brushing against mine, almost on purpose? Your breath smells like rotting corpses, and it doesn't seem like you have shaved once in your life. It's no wonder that all of your wives are war brides! And, I warn you (though you cannot hear me), if you don't get your slimy hands off me right now, I may have to slip something into your drink..."
Those accursed men!
Not to mention, being able to control one's temper is also vitally important during situations like these, when the lives of everyone in the Han race rested under his tongue. Though Yao was also good at this, he did occasionally have slip-ups.
"You must now allow yet another tax rise!" Yao demanded, pounding his fist, as everyone at the table turned their heads to him, "Don't you understand? If the peasants give all of their silver to the empire, they wouldn't be able to buy any food for themselves, and they are going to face even worse starvation than last year!"
The boss, who Yao had failed to please from day one, would do anything to pick on his underling. Thus, having found yet another crack in the vase, he smirked and opened his mouth to say something. But, before he had the chance, he was interrupted by his equally obnoxious son who also held his father's view of how... "women" and politics didn't mix.
"Hey sweetie!" The son hollered from across the room, "How about you and me have some fun later, eh?" He blew him a kiss.
Laughter and whistling ensued.
Yao was about to fly over the table and kick him in the face, but sadly, he was interrupted by something, or someone even more embarrassing.
"Yao!" Ivan yelled, as he ran down the hall, miraculously avoiding the spears, arrows, and other sharp objects that the guards had aimed at him.
Ivan sprinted up the steps and collapsed right into the arms of his beloved. "I missed you so much!" he whined, drowning his head into the silky sea of Yao's robe. Yao petted his hair and softly whispered for him to stop crying or he wouldn't play with him later. Everyone else roared with laughter, slapping their knees and chortling wine all over the table.
"Hey China, is that your son? Who fucked you this time?" said an ignoramus that Yao swore wasn't going to see tomorrow's sunrise.
Ignoring them, Yao looked down at Ivan and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Um..." Ivan racked his head for the most excusable excuse he could come up with for having interrupted this meeting. Gazing up at the ceiling, he tapped his chin thoughtfully and mumbled, "Well, I saw, uh... a big fat cow walking around the palace yesterday! She looked really scary, Yao, and, um... she was going to eat everybody! So I wanted to see if you were hurt. Da!" He nodded earnestly, impressed with his mad skills. A wise man had once told him that lying was the best way to get into a woman's bed. Whatever that meant.
Except, everyone in the room, including Yao, fell dead silent to his words.
The "fat cow" Ivan was speaking of was actually one of the Khan's most prized concubines, and not to mention, his first cousin. Which meant, though people wanted to, no one in the palace dared to question his taste for women, lest he wanted his eyes gouged out and his body dismembered, like the last brave/foolish soul.
A few of the men looked at the pair and whispered amongst themselves, "They're dead."
Of course, due to Ivan's status, the Khan would not dare to touch him. Instead, he just sat there, rigid and silent, as his face boiled with the anger that Yao knew all too well.
As he and Ivan walked out of the room, a part of Yao was proud that Ivan had finally taken a stab at the bastard's craw. But, Yao knew that he was not going to hear the end of it from his boss, since said bastard had never been the one to let go of a grudge so easily.
Not to mention, it was almost certain now that those poor peasants in the southern provinces weren't going to be exempt from a tax raise.
Gritting his teeth at the thought, Yao yanked Ivan's ear a little too hard.
2.
Yao would always get a warm feeling spreading inside his heart whenever Kiku made improvements in anything. But, he'd never tell him that.
Instead, he took his bamboo staff and smacked his pupil on his already bruised wrist. "Play it again," he demanded, "and this time, don't flick your finger so stiffly on the seventh string."
Kiku looked down dejectedly to his zither and played it again. He hoped that this time, he could at least get to the second chapter of the piece without having to withstand another beating.
Yao paced around the study room with his hands held firmly behind his back, and shaking his head every once in a while, pretending to be dissatisfied.
Deciding to take a peek outside, he put his staff down, walked to the window and flicked back the curtains. Today was a good day. No clouds, nor rain. Just sun, but not enough to singe everything to a crisp. The summer air had baked the scent of spruce and pine out of their leaves, and was gently being fanned onto Yao's face by the gentle breeze. A dainty sparrow roosted upon a twig, only to delicately hop off a few seconds later, springing back into flight. How Yao wished that Kiku had such lithe fingertips.
All was well, until he saw another little bird, well no, Ivan, skipping merrily down the path of the veranda, as his feet pitter-pattered against the wooden beach. Yao's heart sank and did an excited twirl at the same time, assuming that was physically possible.
Yao supposed he should walk over to the door to welcome him. But apparently, he didn't need to. Before he had the chance to turn around, something heavy, well, heavier than it was a week ago due to the palace's good food, collided with his back. Yao swore he had heard his spine shatter from the impact.
Kiku stopped playing and watched them silently, thinking that this should be interesting to see.
"Oh Yao, where were you? I haven't seen you in so long!" Ivan dry-sobbed dramatically, hugging his waist like it was the only good thing left in this cold, cold world.
"But you saw me yesterday!" Yao managed to wheeze out, despite that little Ivan was suffocating him with his uncanny strength.
"That's still a long time!"
"Well, I was busy!" Yao snapped, before picking him up and walking over to Kiku. Upon seeing a raised eyebrow disrupting the blank plane of Kiku's face, Yao felt like digging a hole in the ground and dying in it.
"Well, Ivan, this is my student Kiku." Yao began.
For the past few weeks, Yao had dreaded the moment when he would have to do this introduction. Now, he just hoped that Kiku would behave, and wouldn't ask any difficult questions about this later.
Standing up, he said "nice to meet you," and bowed.
Also, it would be nice if some of the manners that he had taught Ivan had managed to penetrate his thick skull...
Ivan glared daggers at the other boy and pouted impishly. "Is that your boyfriend?" He demanded, pointing rudely.
A few seconds later, Kiku excused himself due to a stomachache.
And, three things had happened since-
Yao had declared that someday, he was going to sew Ivan's mouth shut.
Ivan had vowed to never let anyone take his precious Yao away from him again.
And lucky for Ivan, Kiku had issued cancellations for his lessons with Yao all week, on the rather suspicious grounds that he had fallen ill.
Yao pinched another slice of lamb from his plate and gingerly placed it in Ivan's mouth, smiling as he watched him chew gratefully with his mouth open. Ivan looked like such a little king, sitting on his lap as if it was a throne.
He had tried on many occasions to get rid of him, but how could he, when was just so cute?
Yao found himself snuggling with Ivan, his arms wrapping around the chubby boy like a cradle, and his face wearing a smile sugary enough to have given anyone a toothache.
A/N: Hope you liked it. xD Please review!
Also- I have made a rough calculation. I think this fic is going to be over 100 chapters long. So, buckle up! xD