Chapter 5 - Happy Freaking Holidays

December 24, 12:31pm

He could smell it now, the aroma from Kilika Fried Chocobo. It was a wonderful restaurant in homage to a city that was in a console game, naming its signature dish after a giant, fluffy, golden chicken. He always felt bad eating there, but at the same felt this sadistic satisfaction that he was possibly getting the next best thing to the real one. Still, they were adorable, and AMAZINGLY useful. Would you eat an animal which could probably help you cross an entire ocean? Okay, that was in an earlier game, but hey, tomato potato. Among other things on their menu they had Cactuar Soup, Malboro Tentacles, which in all honesty was just Calamari with green food dye, and, I bet you didn't see this coming, Spicy Chocobo Wings.

Admittedly, that was all BS. There was no such thing as Kilika Fried Chocobo. Just another random thought that entered his mind as he travelled along the highway headed to a park near their school. The cold as well as the left over snow didn't really help in keeping his balance as he sped along. Clearing his head of any further thoughts, Cravat tried to recall why he was heading there in the first place. Ah yes, Kneesocks invited him for a little hangout time before Christmas Eve. They were meeting at the fountain at the center of the park. Cravat weaved through traffic like a Golden Chocobo on speed, well, if Golden Chocobos could create waves and pulses as it burst through the sound barrier every now and then. The occasional passing truck or car was thrown off course as Cravat sped up and down as he pleased, but he didn't do any serious damage.

"Wow I'm bored."

After listening to the beat the crashing cars and trucks gave out as he arrived at the park, Cravat parked Lash-Out at the sidewalk and dismounted. He started heading to the fountain, seeing a figure in the distance. Of course, it was Kneesocks, wearing a beige dress that stopped at about half her upper leg, her usual white thigh-highs, a furry beige jacket, some wool gloves and boots. She also carried a yellow shoulder-strapped bag. Her hair was tied in a ponytail as usual, her bangs just barely covering her bright emerald green eyes. In the hazy sunshine that escaped a parting in the clouds, he swore she looked something of an angel, her bright red complexion radiant as she basked in the sun's glow…

Dear god, this is what you get for attempting to finish that book where Vampires sparkle in the sunlight. He was sure Habit found enough merits in it to try and get him to read it, but it was just… so… He couldn't even describe it. Cravat re-read the entire Hellsing series to see Vampires the way they should be again. Hellsing, where Vampiric genitalia do not sparkle like 'diamonds'. Probably. He seriously thought they just mistook it for sweat.

Kneesocks had probably been there since 12:30, which was the original meeting time and now it was a just ten minutes to 1:00PM. 'I'm probably going to get a sermon for this,' Cravat thought to himself. Kneesocks must've spotted him, since she started walking in his direction. She was pouting slightly with her arms crossed. They were already in front of each other when she let out a sneeze. Cravat couldn't help but smile as he handed her a handkerchief from his pocket.

"Er, thank you," she mumbled as she blew her nose. "That wasn't as effective as the image I had in my head."

"Which was what? Pout me into submission?" Cravat joked. Kneesocks's pout was back.

"Why yes, in fact. Pouting would work well against males most of the time. Anyway, where do we go first?" Kneesocks asked as she gave back the handkerchief, which Cravat 'washed off' with some snow from the ground before putting it back in his coat. He scratched the back of his head and pointed to a strip of stores just across the park. The row of buildings had coffee shops, bookstores, restaurants and other places of leisure.

…

Okay honestly, what the hell was he supposed to do?

"Have you eaten lunch yet?" Cravat asked casually. Thinking of an imaginary food joint got him really hungry.

"No actually," Kneesocks replied.

After searching for a bit, they ate their lunch at this little restaurant. Among the things they ate were Cactus Soup, Special Green Calamari, and Buffalo Wings. 'If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was psychic, haha,' Cravat thought to himself. After they ate their fill they decided to go to a local arcade, where Kneesocks instantly challenged Cravat to a battle of Dance Dance Rebellion. Oh joy.

"Seriously?" he asked as she dragged him by the arm.

"Dance or feel my wrath," She said firmly. Okay, I think these were one of the moments he would have the urge to say… What was that term…? Oh yes, 'lolwut?'.

"I'm sure you convince eeeeveryone with that," Cravat said sarcastically.

"Erm, pleaaaaase?" Well there's a sudden mood switch. Not that he was intimidated by her, because when it came to games he gave it his all, even if it was a game about dancing in public and threatening to make yourself look like a total spaz while doing it. Of course, public opinion never really bothered him. 'Then spaz I shall,' Cravat thought to himself, 'Spaz I shall.'

He got up onto the glowing platform with vigor and conviction, straightening himself for what would probably be the most challenging thing he's ever done, second only to trying to understand how a woman worked. However this time, there will be no perceiving the meaning of 'Nothing' or 'We need to talk'. This time, there would only be stomping, slipping, and gnashing of teeth. For this version of DDR carried Paranoid~Lucifer~, DEAD END(Groovy Radical Spectaular), and Planet X Renounce. God have mercy on his soul. His feet and legs too. They're going to hurt like a bitch in the morning.

"Let's take turns then?" Kneesocks smirked as she leaned on the bar common to all DDR machines behind him.

"Fine with me."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Owwww," Cravat whined as they went out of the arcade. He slipped on Paranoid ~Lucifer~ and a little bump on his head would forever be his reminder to utilize that blasted bar. But how the hell was he supposed to keep stepping on all four arrows at the same time? His answer: use his hands. Eventually he got tangled and his face met the cool, hard, tiled floor. Shame too, he had a 666 combo going.

"I expect a deciding match one day," Cravat grumbled humorously, still trying to get the feelings back into his limbs. The muscles were all confused, when his brain moved his right hand, it moved his left leg. When he tried to move his left leg, his head would turn to the side.

"I still can't believe you didn't even try to use the bar. It isn't against the rrruuurrss you know," she said as-a-matter-of-factly. "Now hold still while I patch you up. While you're at it, might as well wait until you stop spazzing like an idiot whenever you try to blink."

They sat down on a nearby bench and Kneesocks got a little box that was inside her bag. A homemade first-aid kit.

"You carry those around now?" Cravat asked as she got some canned ice and sprayed a small amount on his forehead. "FREAKING-"

"Oh don't be such a baby. You've been to the clinic six times during the week you were in school. I thought you'd be used to this by now."

"In my defense most of those trips were because of varying circumstances."

"Your stupidity for instance?"

"Of course, that's always a given," Cravat laughed. Kneesocks noticed he had a graze where the bump was and applied a band-aid to it. A Hello-Kitty band-aid, no less. "And now I look like an idiot."

"That's fine then. You won't notice the difference."

"Oh har har."

After Kneesocks put her kit back into her bag, they started to walk along the buildings again, looking for anything that piqued their interest. Cravat spotted a little gift shop at the corner. He decided it would be a good idea to get some last minute shopping done before Christmas arrived. Dragging Kneesocks by the arm, he pointed over to the gift shop as they marched toward it. When they entered, they were greeted by a plethora of cute and adorable key-chains, stuffed toys, various MP3 Players and headphones, accessories, and the like. Now what would a girl want….

"Kneesocks, what would you like for Christmas?" he asked nonchalantly as he browsed through a plethora of different colored miniature bears. Kneesocks thought for a moment, placing a finger ever so delicately on her chin.

"Whatever you think is best," she replied.

Cravat hated those kinds of answers. It's more like women saying 'surprise me, come on, buy me something, I dare you', or something like that. Okay, only some women were like that, but hey. You never know. He decided to play it safe, well, safe by some logic, and went with a stuffed penguin that could squeak. Squeak little penguin, squeak for you are now mine!

"Now for the others…" Cravat whispered to himself. What the hell would he get for Panty and Stocking? He already saw something that he would give Habit, a giant cookie pillow. After much deliberation, he decided to buy Stocking a white stuffed cat while he bought Panty a pink stuffed bunny. No implications there whatsoever. Nope. None at all. *coughplayboybunnycough*

After making the purchase, he went up to Kneesocks and gave her the penguin. She seemed to appreciate it.

"Aw, thank you," she smiled. She reached into the plastic bag in her hands and held out an MP3 player and a headset. Holy crap, was she psychic or something? "You said you had trouble sleeping at night. I suggest listening to some classical music to lull yourself to sleep."

"Woah, wow, uh," Cravat struggled to find the words of appreciation that would be most fitting of his situation. He was now saved from sleepless nights, all that annoying moaning and shouting. He was free. Okay, that was overreacting, but dear lord. He wanted to glomp her right now. "This must've been expensive, are you sure?"

"My father's the mayor. Such expenses are trivial."

"But still…"

"I promise it isn't a big deal. Now, just accept my benevolence," She lightly nudged the package into his chest. Cravat took it slowly from her hand and put it in the bag he was holding, alongside all the other furry little critters in there. "Now was that so hard?"

"Excuse me," the cashier interrupted. "Are you two related by any chance? Or are you friends maybe?" he asked. Cravat and Kneesocks exchanged glances and let out a slight laugh.

"Well, we're obviously not related," Cravat commented, pointing out Kneesocks's reddish complexion. "And yes we're friends."

"I see, I see," the cashier said within earshot. His hand slowly crept beneath the counter and the distinct click of a button could be heard. "Thank you for joining our Christmas event today. Hope you two aren't camera shy."

They noticed something hovering above them, slowly lowering down. There was a sign saying something about Christmas Events in the store lately, but they didn't really get to read it. Something about couples? 'Let's see,' Cravat thought, 'Christmas, plus couples, plus cameras...?' The two of them glanced over to a wall just behind the counter, filled with various photos. All of them had two people in it, usually a guy and a girl, but some had two girls and two guys, interestingly. But there was no denying what they were doing in the pictures. The mechanism above them stopped. It was carrying what looked like a plant. Cravat realized what it was.

"Hey look, mistletoe."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

December 31, 8:32 pm…

He's been thinking of the same thing for a while, which was 'Merry Freaking Christmas to me~'. Not bad for Christmas on the surface. Also: Floaty. That's what he'd been feeling like for the past few days. Floaty. A store event where suspected couples would be pictured kissing under a mistletoe. So cliché, yet never did he feel so… Floaty. Did he mention he felt floaty? Thank the lord for crazy traditions. That and Kneesocks's obligation to the rules. She knew what that little hemi-parasitic plant meant. Given it was on the cheek, but hey. All that aside, he was snapped back to reality by the smell of something good cooking. Ah yes, the mouth-watering smell of steak.

"Is it ready yeeeet?" Cravat sang out as he rolled around on the living room floor. Garterbelt was cooking a 5-Star restaurant feast for New Year's Eve, and Cravat wanted to sink his teeth into some juicy, medium-rare meat right now. Oh dear lord and the Cheesecake, he thought to himself. "Does silence mean no?"

"Silence means you ain't getting any if you keep bitching, now just be patient for the love of all that is good and holy!" Garterbelt thundered from the kitchen. Cravat gave out a loud laugh and sat up straight, focusing again on the T.V. screen. Brief had come over to play a few rounds with him on 'Ultra Street Brawler 6: Fate of Three Dimensions' before the New Year, and right now they were at a stalemate.

"I applaud you Brief, you're pretty good," Cravat praised as they both fought each other to another draw. Furious fingers were flying and flailing as they fought to find an opening in each other's defenses. Hurray for assonance.

"I never even knew that combo was possible!" Brief exclaimed in awe, and then countered with his own set of flurries. "This fight is super special awesome!"

"You got that from that parody series in YouTube didn't you?" Cravat laughed in amusement. "You better not suddenly challenge me to a rap battle."

"No no, of course not, haha."

They continued with their little match for quite a while. It was amazing how time flew when you weren't paying attention. Eventually they'd played a little over a hundred matches, Brief winning by two. They leaned back on the couch, stretching their fingers and getting the blood to rush back.

"Damn man, you're good. Do you get all that inspiration from Panty?" Cravat asked with a raised eyebrow. Brief started stuttering all of a sudden, obviously defensive.

"H-how d-d-do you know about th-that?"

Cravat laughed maniacally while slapping his right knee. He almost fell over on the sofa but grabbed an arm to steady himself. "You realize you basically drool as much as Chuck does with food when she's around right?"

"Gah…" Brief couldn't find a reply to that. Ever since the first time he'd met her that fateful day the Anarchy Sisters literally crashed through the walls of Daten City High, he'd been infatuated to the point he didn't even know why anymore. Is that plausible? Being attracted to someone just because? By now he didn't really care anymore. Brief just knew he cared for that sexy-ass blonde flirt.

"You know she's slept with basically a thousand guys right?"

"751 last I heard…" Brief absent-mindedly replied. Cravat looked a little surprised.

"You actually count?" Cravat asked, with both a hint of amazement and hint of 'dude, what the hell?', that and 'Holy freaking shit she's slept with THAT many?'. It was an amazing, albeit disturbing revelation on his part. "So yeah that's a lot of guys. You're fine with that?"

"Well…" Brief started, pondering on what he would say. What could he say? That he was attracted to this girl because she's so damn gorgeous she could get guys to sleep with her with a snap of her fingers? That wasn't it. He knew that much. "It doesn't matter to me that she's slept with hundreds-"

"751."

"… 751 men and she probably won't be stopping any time soon. But she's… a good person inside," Brief paused for a moment. "Erm, no sexual innuendo intended. She cares for her sister, and at least tries helping with collecting Heavens," Cravat snickered at that last bit, but Brief ignored him. "She told me before that she couldn't wait to get back to Heaven. I think she's just homesick and venting it out with… sex. Kind of like Stocking's obsession with sweet things, er, sort of. Okay not really. Stocking just likes eating sweet stuff. Panty probably also just likes sex…" Brief paused again. It was pretty funny. In all honesty he couldn't find a good enough argument to defend Panty's flirtatious practices.

"You know, I don't think that was convincing as you wanted it to be," Cravat stated, lying back on the sofa with his arms outstretched and looking up at the ceiling. Brief was leaning forward slightly, twiddling his fingers and sighing. He got up and turned to Cravat with a contented expression, a small smile tugging at the sides of his mouth.

"I guess I believe in one thing though. When you love someone you accept them the way they are. I think it's a lot easier that way."

The statement both took Cravat aback and caused a slight feeling of commendation for Brief to manifest. 'Damn man, kudos to you.' Cravat started to wonder if he would be able to do the same. Not that he had anyone in mind that was as vulgar and perverted as Panty. With all this talk about Panty and the others, he started to wonder where the hell they were. The three of them said they would have an 'end of the year girl's night out', but they would be home for the New Year. It was almost 10:00pm. Brief noticed the time too.

"I better get going, my dad has this special party set up for New Year's. Relatives and guests and all, that and I have to help with a few fireworks for the midnight," Brief said as he packed up his belongings. He waved Cravat goodbye and gave Chuck a belly-rub before heading out the door. Brief thanked Garter as he exited, who bellowed a loud 'You're Welcome'. Cravat sat there, bored, hungry, and alone. 'So ronery,' he humorously mused to himself.

Eventually, he and Garterbelt had to eat with just the two of them at the table. It was a quarter past eleven when they stopped eating, with Cravat finishing off almost half the cheesecake and a piece from each meat and pastry that was on the table. It was only then that the three women stormed in, crashing the door open and strode inside. They had obviously been drinking, their faces a noticeable shade of red, as well as having a dim-witted grin. Panty had three guys following her around, while Stocking had one. Looks like someone's trying to fill a void.

Stocking had lost the 'love of her life' yesterday, a Ghost she'd met while off with Panty looking for men to pick up. The Ghost achieved what it wanted to, to truly fall in love, so he went on peacefully to the afterlife. Stocking was heartbroken for a while, especially since the Ghost had proposed to her that night. She still keeps the ring hanging on one of her stuffed toys in her room, a constant reminder of the love they'd shared. A very interesting pair, but love nonetheless. But her bringing home a man may be a sign she's still not over it, but that was just Cravat's speculation.

Habit ran up to Cravat and tackled him off the chair, both of them hitting the ground with a loud thud. "Raaaaavvyyyyyyy~ I meesd yoouuu~ It's been MONFS hashn't it?" she slurred out loud, latching onto his neck. Cravat struggled pitifully, trying to get the inebriated girl off him, but to no avail. She had a vice grip like no other. He just stood up and shifted Habit into a piggy-back position and grabbed hold of her legs, which made Habit yelp. "Ravvy~! Nut where ev'rywun ken see us, yoo naughty boyee~"

Oh dear lord. She must've drunk her maximum tonight. Two shot glasses. That's all it took to get her mispronouncing words like an idiot. "No Habit, it hasn't been 'monfs'. You're just drunk."

"Orly nao?" she sang out.

"Yes really," he responded, finishing that widely used internet slang he learned then taught to her. Habit nuzzled his neck as she buried her face into it, giggling ever so childishly. The last time she was this drunk was back in Little Tokyo. Habit rampaged through the entire city, happily whistling the tune of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' while stealing and eating every cookie-based product within a one mile radius. That one night Cravat learned the only way to make Habit calm down was letting her look at colorful or shiny objects and patterns, luring her back into their church with an M&Ms laden cookie wrapped in tin foil. Since it was almost the New Year, and he was short on M&Ms and tin foil, he decided to take her outside to see the lightshow that was about to ensue. "Hey Habit, you want to go see the fireworks?"

"Yesh~ Firewurks~!" Cravat shifted her on his back and carried her out the door, just in front on the lawn. The others must've thought the same thing, as they were all joining him outside to see the crackling lights in the sky. 11:59pm with almost five more seconds to go. Time for a countdown.

"Fiiiiiiive~" Habit shouted, making Cravat wince as she tore his right eardrum a new one.

"Fooour!" Stocking sang out this time, with that 'w' expression on her face.

"THREE FOR THREE TIMES THE FUN!" Panty blurted out, waving a half finished bottle of wine in the air.

"Two!" The men the girls brought home exclaimed, the three with Panty shouting especially loud.

"One," Cravat said loud enough so the others could hear. A small silent pause, then the fireworks were all up in the sky, exploding in a myriad of colors and patterns, in hearts, circles, swirls, and swooshes. They all marveled at the sight, ooh-ing and ahh-ing. The cliff they were on was one hell of a vantage point. Cravat noticed that the most extravagant ones came from a large house somewhere far off. 'Brief said something about fireworks… I wonder which ones are from his house…?'

"Well alright! Let's get our sex on!" Panty exclaimed, raising her fist in the air. "I'll go on ahead to 'get ready'. Meet you three in there~" she provocatively said in a sing-song fashion. Stocking went ahead as well, telling her partner to follow her when he's ready. Before any of the males entered the house, Cravat stood in front of all of them, assessing each one. He turned to the three who Panty picked up. They looked healthy enough, although they might be in for one hell of an, *ahem*, 'ride', so to speak, once they realize what they just got themselves into. Cravat snickered as he gave them some advice, or lack thereof.

"You three… Just… Good luck in there," Cravat snickered. The three of men shrugged, and one of them patted him on the shoulder as they walked past.

"You're lucky to be living with these women, kid. Must keep you up every night."

'Ah, if you only knew, good man, if you only knew,' Cravat thought to himself as the man walked away. Cravat turned to the one paired up with Stocking and gave him a serious gaze.

"She just got her heart broken. Be gentle with her," Cravat said, offering his hand out for a bro-fist. The guy obliged, then they both did the obligatory secret Bro-Code handshake, and an around the world high-five for good measure. It was still a little weird for Cravat to be playing the protective one, and slightly awkward. But hey, he would never want anything bad to happen to anyone he knew.

"Will do, little man, will do."

'At least there are some decent people left in the world,' Cravat thought to himself. Well, the meaning of the term decent may vary from person to person, but hey. Habit then shifted on his back. When he turned to look at her, she had one wide smirk on her face.

"Hey Ravioli, you, me, bedroom, wanna?" she said, trying to seduce him even more by pushing her breasts against his back. Cravat kept his cool. As much as a temptation that was, raging hormones shall not get the better of him… for now anyway.

"Habit, you're drunk. It would be better if you rest. You're going to be bitching about that hangover tomorrow."

"Aww, but sex is fun~" she said playfully. Now she was doing grinding motions with her hips. Freaking hell man, freaking hell.

'Shut up bulge in pants, you have no say in this,' he thought to himself jokingly. Well, half-jokingly. "I'm sure it is Habit. But we'll both regret it in the morning if we go through with it."

"No fun person, that's what you are… no fun…" she started to yawn. Habit was starting to lose her grip so Cravat shifted her into his arms, carrying her bridal style all the way back into her room. He let her down gently, seeing as she had already fallen asleep in his arms.

"The intensity of her silence sleeping mirrors how pissy she'll be in the morning…" he whispered to himself, laughing a little. He got the sheets and put it over her, and she whispered a thank you as he left the room. 'Always so damn adorable. You're not fair Habit.'

Soon enough the cries of both Panty and Stocking reached the empty hallway, where he took out his MP3 player and his Headphones, playing some classical like Kneesocks suggested on loop to block out everything. No way in hell he was going to go to Stocking's room for the night, so he decided to go to the living room just downstairs and play video games until he fell asleep. The faint sounds of lovemaking still found its way through the music he was listening to, but at a tolerable volume. As the game started up, and the symphony of Canon mixed with passionate throes of sex mingled in his ears, Cravat smiled to himself. "Happy Freaking New Year."

Author's Notes:

Well this chapter's a few weeks overdue, both by my updating standards and by calendar standards. Meh.

Anyway, sorry for the late update guys, school's been keeping me busy. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll try to update one on time next week, but we still have projects and tests that need to be done. I'll try as hard as I can to update on time, but I can guarantee I'll update eventually. Bye for now then~

EDIT: I forgot to mention I posted a pic of Cravat and Habit. Just look here: .com/art/Cravat-and-Habit-194079960