A/N: I like that some people are letting me know when they are really getting into this, because it makes me write longer chapters with more stuff that I know you guys like in it ;)
As you can tell already, it's going to be an averagely slow process of Brittany realising her feelings for Santana but that doesn't mean interesting stuff won't happen before then. Brittany is already having fantasies so it may end up being sooner rather than later, who knows :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or it's characters.

This morning I had a shower, longer than normal. I used all the hot water and Charlie yelled at me. Scott was in the kitchen eating all of the lucky charms and I snarled at him like a wolf would a huntsman. My dad left for work early and his reassuring kiss on my forehead kept me from walking down to the chemist.

"Come straight home from school we're having dinner with Scott and Santana."

"What?" I didn't mean to sound so objective but I couldn't help it. Last week I told Santana I wasn't going to be her friend and she had assumed I would change my mind. Now she was going to be at my house; the one place where I could get away from everyone at school.

"Brittany, I thought I told you to sort out whatever is making you hate Santana so much."

I didn't exactly hate Santana. My father told me never to use that word. I hated myself, who I was. I didn't ever hate other people though. That didn't mean that what Santana says to me didn't piss me off. Maybe Puck pissed me off more, but he wasn't as persistent as Santana.

"I don't hate Santana."

Scott's head shoots up from his bowl of cereal and milk is dribbling down his chin. "Who hates Santana?"

"No one!" I yelled impatiently. "But why are we having a dinner tonight, I have ..." I chewed on my bottom lip. "Homework and stuff to do."

Charlie raised an eyebrow and brought both her hands to my shoulders. "You can't get out of this Britt, this dinner is long overdue."

A sudden thought cross my mind. "I agree. But why didn't I meet Santana when you and Scott were together four years ago?"

Charlie's hands slowly froze on my shoulders, then she dropped them to her sides. She eyed Scott and he was looking nervous.

"She was young."

"She's my age," I retorted.

"She was just busy with her own life," Charlie added. "Scott and I had only recently started dating back then so we weren't ready to introduce our families." She said it in the tone where I should have known what she was saying was obvious. Like when people say 'duh' which makes me feel stupid.

"I never met your parents either Scott," I turned to him and arched both of my eyebrows. My tone was innocent but Scott's expression instantly hardened and he coughed awkwardly into his right fist.

"Like your sister said, we had only just begun dating."

I nodded slowly and sat down at the table. There was definitely something odd about those two this morning, but my mind was buzzing too much to allow me to figure it out. I wish Charlie would act the same around me like she did before I went to rehab. If Scott wasn't in her life, she'd probably be even more miserable. Not that she is now, but I doubt she'd be happy alone. No one's happy alone, except me.

I'm glad Charlie and Scott found each other. I am looking forward to getting a boyfriend one day just like him. Scott always turns the television off and wraps Charlie in a blanket when she falls asleep early during one of their movie nights.

I only know that because I creep downstairs to get a glass of water most nights. I used to buy tic tacs and swallow them whole just to rid my frustration. They acted as pills for me for a while. Pills that didn't do any harm or anything really. They just made my breath smell minty fresh. I just enjoyed the feeling of something solid slide down my throat. Accompany it with a drink of water and you've got the entire ensemble.

I arrived at school a little early so I began mindlessly fumbling through my locker, attempting to make it neat.

I wonder if Ms. Pillsbury is still scrubbing her grapes before she eats them?

"Hey."

My hands froze on the spine of my health book. Santana's voice had seemed so close I had no idea that she had even been in the hallway. Was I going numb again? I couldn't be.

My left foot slowly slid up to my right ankle and I itched the spot there. Maybe if I ignore her and pretend like I'm doing something important she'll go away. And why the hell is she still talking to me? I told her I didn't want to be her friend.

"Are you okay Brittany?"

I shut my eyes tight and clench my jaw. I hated when she said my name like that; so sickeningly sweet and soft. She needed to get out of here or I'll become one huge anxious mess. I slowly shut my locker door and turned left so I could walk away. Once I was about 15 metres away I heard a sharp, loud bang. Some poor kid must have been pushed right into a locker and is going to be kept in there until last period.

I continued walking, head bowed and shoulders slouched because staring into people's eyes allowed them to see my emotions. Right now I was feeling like crap and they didn't need that as an excuse to make me feel even worse.

Loads of students had been rushing passed me in the last five minutes and I suddenly became curious. I immediately turned around at the sound of some poor girl screeching and I headed back to my locker. What I saw stunned me.

Santana was being thrown into the lockers by Quinn and they were pulling each other's hair. People surrounding them were hollering for more and Puck was in the midst of the crowd smirking and hooting. I felt sick.

They were snarling at each other and pulling at each other's skin. I just stood there in silence and I know I should have gone in there and helped but I didn't know whose side I was on. I wasn't fond of Quinn anymore because of how she treated me but I wasn't Santana's friend either. Sometimes it's better to let adults sort this type of situation out even if I feel like a coward.

"What's going on here?" Mr. Schue suddenly appeared and got in between the two girls. Santana was smirking and Quinn was seething at her. I had never seen either of them look this vicious before, especially Quinn.

Santana's eyes caught mine and I was trying to mouth 'what happened?' She walked towards me and grabbed my arm, leading me into the bathroom.

"What the hell was that? If Scott knew you got into a fight he'd flip!" I exclaimed.

"I was protecting you!" She immediately shot back, grabbing a paper towel and rubbing up some blood on her lip.

"Protecting me?" I scoffed, brushing passed her towards the door.

"Brittany, Quinn was telling Puck to slushie you after school, so I told her she couldn't treat you like that."

My eyebrows furrowed but my expression softened. "I didn't ask you to get into fights for me."

Santana's lip was swollen and there was bruising under her right eye. I'm sure her body hurt when she was slammed into the lockers, but that wasn't my concern. She couldn't be concern right now, I had to focus on myself and get to class. I didn't ask her to protect me, I can handle it all myself.

"Don't do that again," I added, before turning around to step out of the bathroom. I was instantly met with an ice cold slushie slapping me in my face. My mouth was gaping and I couldn't stop blinking. Every part of my face was literally stinging and pulsating. I heard a few snickers from students passing by, but my eyes were too sore to see who it was.

Luckily Santana had come out and yelled something in Spanish, adding Puck's name to the end of it. She led me back into the bathroom, but I immediately felt that she was too close.

"Stop," I hissed, when she tried to hand me a paper towel. She dropped her hand, left the paper towel on the sink and began walking towards the door.

"Santana," I called out.

She turned to me again with a tired expression on her face. I knew that expression well. I had adopted it when Quinn approached me under the bleachers. Maybe Santana was finally tired of the way I treated her. I wish I could be normal around her and I wish she'd be less full on towards me.

"Why didn't I meet you three years ago when Scott and Charlie started dating?"

Her lips contorted and she brushed her hands along the side of her jeans. She then shifted her weight onto one foot, leaning slightly so she could think of an answer.

My breathing had slowed and I wasn't as anxious anymore. I don't know what it was about her voice, or just standing here staring at her. But it did something to me. Something foreign.

"They didn't want us to meet." With that she turned and left me alone.

I left school early, because my teachers still took pity on people that got slushied and bullied. I didn't want to be one of those students that tell on others because they get slammed in the face with a slushie. That was seen as weak and that's one thing I didn't want to be.

I returned home, avoiding Charlie and Scott as they prepared the food and set the table. Charlie had asked me what was wrong and why my t-shirt was damp. I shrugged and locked myself in my room.

When Santana said 'they' I instantly knew she was talking about Charlie and my mum. I always knew my mum was more concerned with herself than others and she'd do whatever it took to keep everyone from hearing about her loopy daughter heading to rehab. She probably told Santana I was at Cheer camp or something, but I didn't want to ask her or Charlie. I'd stay in my room until Santana came and left.

Unless I go out there, confront them like a mature person would and show them that they can now treat me like an adult. They don't have to tell people to stay away from me because I might be a bad influence or something like that.

Yeah, that's it.

I marched downstairs on a mission and one thought in my head. That's not true, there were many fucked up thoughts in my head but this one was in huge bold font and screaming at me. I reached the bottom of the stairs and headed straight for the kitchen because Charlie always takes forever to make dinner. She needs everything perfect.

Once I made it inside I stopped straight in the middle of the kitchen and caught Charlie and Scott's attention immediately.

I cleared my throat. "I'm not sick anymore. You can't treat me like some fragile little girl that can't handle herself or the truth for that matter. I want you two to be honest with me and keep me in the loop of things around here. I'm back home and I want us to be a family again. That's all." I stepped backwards and walked back upstairs to get changed. Charlie's face was a little sympathetic and Scott looked slightly worried but I didn't pay attention I just wanted to get out what I had to say.

Now that I had done a mature thing, I realised I was going to have to follow it up by making an appearance at dinner.

I opened my wardrobe and picked out a plain white dress. If we were going to have a proper dinner then I was going to atleast look nice. I place some black boots infront of my bed and laid the dress out. I then stepped into the bathroom and turned on the hot water.

Once I could feel the scorching heat against my skin I could breathe easier. It's strange to say that, because normally it would hurt. But I like the feeling of it because feeling it reassures me that I'm getting better. My shoulder had been only hurting if I slept on it all night. Since I was knocked into the lockers two weeks ago I wasn't sure if I'd be able to cope without the pills.

But being without them has given me hope. So much hope.

I run the soap along my torso, down my legs and back up again across my back. I hadn't touched myself since I got out of rehab. Ofcourse there was Regina who touched me that one night and Puck in the hallway who didn't actually enter me, but I hadn't felt aroused in so long.

I don't know why. I think I'm just dying for someone I love to do it to me - to make me feel amazing. Now that I know that I can make myself feel, I want to see if someone else can aswell.

I brought one hand to my right boob and massaged the skin. I closed my eyes, dragging my other hand down between my legs. I hadn't shaved in a week. It was prickly but not too bad. I instantly felt a sense of arousal shoot through me when my fingers reached my clit. I rubbed a little too fast and found my mouth almost touching the floor.

I cupped my hand over my mound and slowly rubbed up and down. I slipped one finger inside and probed it in and out as deep as I could. It felt good, but still not as good as it would if someone I loved was doing it to me. But I was content with being alone.

If I thought of someone sexy, like a guy in the movies I watched with Charlie or someone at school maybe it would work better. School. The first thing that comes to mind is Santana getting eaten out in that classroom. Get out, get out, get out.

I backed up towards the wall and arched my back against it. I pressed in another finger and couldn't get my mind off of Santana's expression. I pictured her tanned, toned legs spread and her fingers pulling on the cheerleaders hair.

Everyone seemed to hate in her Mckinley, but the cheerleaders seemed to love her more than they loved the jocks. Who am I kidding? That was one cheerleader. Santana probably paid her or something to get her on her knees.

I let out a whimper when I hit my g-spot and a new fantasy flashed through my mind. Santana was still on that chair in the class room, but there was someone else between her thighs. Someone familiar. I squinted my eyes shut tighter and the girl turned around. It was me.

The thought of me giving Santana that much pleasure made my walls clench and I pulled my fingers out abruptly and sank to the bottom of the shower. Why the hell am I having these thoughts about a girl? I'm not supposed to be like this. I should be fucking Sam, or Mike Chang because that's what I'm good for.

"That's all I'm good for." I whispered and felt tears prickle in my eyes.

"That's all I'm good for, nothing else," I sobbed and heard the door open. My breath hitched as I heard a voice in the doorway.

"Brittany?"

What the hell is Santana doing in my bathroom...

"Charlie wanted me to check on you because you've been up here a while."

"G-give me my towel," I ordered back automatically without thinking to thank her.

I heard the metal rack where the towel was hanging off rattle and her footsteps close in on me. I felt extremely vulnerable. The glass was fogged, I was on the ground and Santana was outside the glass door. She could open it and step right in if she wanted to. And part of me knows that she wants too. Part of me wants-

"Brittany?" Shit I was mumbling to myself again. She couldn't have heard right?

"Leave it on the floor and get out." I decided that was the better option, I needed to sit here for a few moments.

"Okay," She sighed and her footsteps became softer as she walked away. "Whatever it is you think is all your good for, you're better than that."

The tears basically leaped from my eyes this time; similar to a sky diver jumping from a plane. My tears had no parachute though and the limit to how many could jump was non existant. They flowed out like a waterfall.

I stood up and rubbed my eyes until they stung. I grabbed the towel from the floor, which was folded neatly, and dried myself off.

I stood in front of the mirror and sighed when I noticed how red my eyes were. Once I was in my room and in my dress I felt a lot better. I liked dressing up for things, not particularly things that Santana was involved in, but it's fun wearing a nice pair of shoes and a cute dress.

I steadily walked downstairs, not wanting anyone to yell at me for taking my time. I wanted to creep in so quietly that they wouldn't even notice. But when I made it to the dining table, their eyes were lasers and I had to look down at my body to make sure everything was still there.

Santana was sitting next to the only available seat and I repressed a groan. I wondered where her bruises had gone, but I could tell as I got closer that she used some extra foundation and blush.

Charlie had her hands folded on the table like some classy heiress and Scott looked like he was going to burst if he didn't eat. I sat down, stuffed my plate with food and everyone grabbed a knife and fork.

Santana was so neat in the way she ate. I didn't mean to stare but she was making it so known to the world that she was organising her vegetables and meat on each side of the plate.

I didn't care what people thought of my bad manners. I was so starving I basically shoved the entire piece of steak in my mouth. I didn't notice the lasagne in a tray beside Charlie's plate and I went to grab a slice before her hand caught my wrist.

"Eat what's on your plate first Britt."

"I'm not a baby," I responded and I heard Santana chuckle before returning to her meal. I glared at her and turned to Scott who was devouring the food on his plate. It was funny to watch, it gave me a distraction.

Nobody had spoken in about half an hour and I was getting tired of this stuffy atmosphere. There were only four people in the house at the moment but the air felt thick and the company wasn't ideal.

"I'm going to try out for the Cheerios," I spoke to noone in particular.

"That's a good idea, you can keep up your fitness," Charlie smiled and shoved a piece of broccolli in her mouth.

"You won't make the squad," Santana said and I snapped my head to her my neck almost twisted completely around. "I mean you've got the body and everything, but Sue knows about you and she won't want someone like you on the squad."

My mouth fell open and I felt like slapping her across the face. She had no right coming into my home and telling me things I can't and shouldn't do.

"How the hell would you know? And Coach Sue told me yesterday that she would have loved to have me on the squad." I left out the part where Sue said that she's glad I didn't infect her national winning squad.

"Dessert?" Scott chimed in but nobody paid attention.

"I tried out last year but due to circumstances I won't name, she wouldn't let me in." Santana shrugged and stood up from the table. She placed her plate in the sink and Charlie helped her wash them. Why did they seem so close? I wanted my sister back, she was my sister.

"Cheerleading would be pretty fun huh?" Scott stated awkwardly.

I rolled my eyes and walked to the kitchen. I stopped myself from slamming my plate down on the bench because I knew Charlie would make me go see someone for my moodswings.

I couldn't act out or she'll tell dad, or even worse mum. Dad tries to understand the situation I'm in but mum doesn't listen. She assumes I'm not better because I still talk back but I know I am because talking back is what normal teenagers do. And I'm normal.

"Let's all migrate to the living room shall we," Scott grinned at all of us but I couldn't return it. Santana was making me feel like nothing and I knew if I showed any emotion she'd grin and yell 'I win'. Even though there was no game between us, that I knew of anyway.

I sat next to Scott so Santana had no choice but to sit by herself. She walked in a few minutes later and sat on the recliner. Charlie stretched out on the other sofa and ordered Scott to put a new dvd in. He followed orders and then plopped down next to me again.

Halfway through the film I noticed Santana get out her iphone and headphones. She turned the screen away from everyone as if she was hiding something. Charlie had fallen asleep and Scott was in the kitchen making tea. He offered to make me one but I said no because tea always make my stomach feel funny.

Scott said he'd take the tea up to Charlie's room when he's finished because Charlie makes a scene when she gets woken up. I've never attempted too because I don't want to be yelled at, especially because I'm too exhausted to fight back.

I stood up and pretended to walk behind the sofa so I could see what Santana was watching. I got to a small table behind the recliner she was occupying and squinted my eyes. Because the screen was so bright my eyes took time to adjust.

When I saw what was on the screen I nearly squealed. There were two girls dry humping on each other and I could only imagine the noises they were making. Santana had an inch of a smile on her face and I wanted to say something. But my lips slammed shut and I just watched. Her fingers were tugging on her tights like she wanted to rip them off and touch herself.

Now one of the girls was on her back with her legs high up in the air. The other one bent down and I was instantly brought back to the night at school where Santana and that cheerleader were getting it on.

I turned around and my breath hitched. My eyes adjusted to the darkness again and I rubbed them. I can't believe Santana had the balls to watch porn in my house. Charlie would be able to see if she wasn't laying on her stomach and snoring.

I suddenly heard footsteps approach and I saw a figure pass me. I knew it was Santana by her small frame. I turned back to the living room and watched Scott enter and sit back on the sofa with his tea. He was so into the film that I didn't want to say goodnight and have him lose concentration.

I turned back to Santana who was quietly creeping up the stairs. I wondered what she was doing because I know Scott or Charlie would have told me if she was staying over. I would have yelled at them.

"What are you doing?" I whispered when we made it to the top of the stairs.

"Wanna watch?" Santana smirked and I scrunched my face up because I did not in a million years want to see what those girls were doing now.

She shrugged when I didn't answer and opened the door to my room. I don't know why I didn't stop her or pull her back. Probably because it would wake up Charlie and she would yell at me for still being a bitch to Santana.

"Have you told Scott about the fight?" I suddenly asked, unable to think of anything to say. I didn't have to say anything because I didn't want to be her friend. And friends are supposed to talk about boys and homework and parties, but I'd never talk about that with her.

"No, why would I?"

"Because he's your brother, he'd want to know." Santana scoffed and took out her headphones. She unplugged them from her iphone and turned the volume up loud.

There were moans and whimpers coming from the speakers and Santana stood there as if nobody was home so it didn't matter. I tried to grab the phone from her but she darted away.

"Santana turn it off!" I hissed and because we were cloaked in darkness I couldn't run after her incase I'd smash into something.

"Make me," I could see the tip of her tongue poke out as she ran to my bed and jumped on it. I couldn't believe how freakin crazy this girl was. It's common courtesy to ask to sit on someone's bed let alone jump on it.

I didn't follow her, because I didn't want her to think I was joking around with her.

I didn't really have any other choice but to walk away, except if I did that who knows what she'd do in my room alone.

"If I watch some of it, will you get off my bed?" She nodded instantly and sat on the edge. I crept over to her and crossed my legs. I was dreading what I'd see but if it got her to settle down then I'd do it.

She was practically bouncing on her butt on my bed. I think she was just excited to show someone what she's so interested in because I used to do that after I made up a new dance routine.

"She's blonde and she's brunette. I think the brunette is more the dominant one and the blonde doesn't know what she wants, all that she knows is the brunette can make her cum just by kissing her."

I don't know why Santana decided to share that information. Was she trying to tell me something? Was I the confused blonde? Did she want to kiss me?

Ugh! I stood up and walked towards my bathroom. I washed my face and my hands to pass the time. Santana was still sitting on my bed patiently when I returned and I had nothing to do but sit with her and endure my first dose of lesbian porn.

Cliffhanger D:

Tell me your thoughts? Will Britt Britt enjoy her first porno ?;)