Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or it's characters.

Sorry for any mistakes. Enjoy!

Santana and Scott had left an hour ago and I was at the breakfast table with Charlie and my dad. When I woke up I hadn't forgotten that Santana spent the night. As soon as my eyes opened I was really nervous. Our positions hadn't changed though. And for some reason, I don't know why, I expected her to have her arms wrapped around me when I woke up.

Charlie hadn't asked where Santana slept because I think she already guessed I let her in my bed. She was smirking at me as of way of saying 'Told you you'd get along with her'. But I didn't say anything about it. I ate my breakfast and went upstairs. The bus would be coming soon. Santana had apologized for not being able to come back and take me to school because she was probably going to be running late. I was going to apologize for having her stay over on a school night but I don't think she'd accept it.

I got changed really fast and brushed my teeth. My dad was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when I came down. "Britty, tomorrow's my day off and I'm hoping to take you for a driving lesson."

I instantly smiled because I hadn't spent alot of time with my dad lately. I kissed him on the cheek before running to the bus stop. When I stepped onto the bus everywhere was crowded, but I managed to find a seat at the back next to Santana.

"Where's your car?" It's the first thing that popped into my head. She laughed and put her phone in her bag.

"Scott wanted to take it for a clean. Apparently at the park there was mud that we weren't aware of."

I smiled, "Oh." That's all I said and I faced the front.

10 minutes into the ride I heard some kids snickering from behind us. When I turned around they glared at me so I just sunk in my chair and decided to make more small talk with Santana.

"Does Scott know about the fight with Quinn?" Santana bit the side of her lip and shook her head. "You should tell him, so then Quinn might get suspended."

"I hit her back." She said that really aggressively, like I was stupid for not realising that she was also involved in the fight. I think she could see I was a little hurt from that and she turned to face me. But before she could say anything I heard someone call my name.

"Pierce, Crazy Pierce!" My eyes widened and my heart rate increased. I hadn't been called that name since Puck on the first week of senior year. Before that I hadn't been called that since freshman year.

"Wanna buy some pills?" Another boy laughed.

"No," I mumbled and sunk further in my chair.

"Shut the fuck up!" Santana was kneeling on her chair and facing the back to where the boys were. She was pointing her finger at them and pratically seething. When I turned around they didn't look intimidated, they looked amused.

"Lespez and Crazy Pierce are besties!" A cheerleader snickered and the rest of her friends laughed.

"We have a choice of laxotives, oxycodone-"

My head instantly snapped up and I drew in heavy breaths. Santana noticed and pressed the button to stop the bus. I was curled up in my seat so Santana was able to step passed me and move to the back before the bus stopped. I didn't turn around, but I heard one of the boys wince in pain and everyone gasp.

Santana came back to me and guided me to the doors and the boys at the back threw scrunched up paper at us. We stepped onto the footpath and I noticed her knuckles were red. Some of her skin was peeling off and I wondered if the guy she punched was made of concrete.

"It's fine," She reassured me and was staring into my eyes when I looked up at her. "C'mon we're only a block from school." I didn't know if she was going to take my hand or not, but I didn't want to expect anything.

She knew I was hurting and I knew she was aswell. But our empathy was silent. We just knew each other cared.

"We have Spanish first," I murmured as we approached the front doors of the school.

"Yeah." Her voice was really, really happy. Not like the fake happy that you hear from cheerleaders when they don't want to deal with anyone other than themselves.

The kind of happy that makes you feel giddy inside. And right now my stomach was doing tonnes of flips, it wouldn't stop. I think somehow I'm the reason Santana's happy at the moment. She may have laughed at me when Sam rejected me in the hall a couple weeks ago, but I think she was hiding the fact she really wanted to get to know me. I'll have to ask her one day.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks as we enter the Spanish classroom. We find our seats and Rachel looks a bit stunned that I'm actually sitting next to Santana.

"I don't know," I sigh because I find myself struggling to lie to her. "Just how I acted around you before. And how you laughed at me when Sam told me to get lost and when Puck would flirt with me. And when Puck was with you under the bleachers, what was that about?" I figured I could ask her that now, now that we're getting along.

She laughed at me and I think it's because I hardly took a breath during my sentences. "I laughed at you because I thought you were new. I didn't want Puck to flirt with you for the same reason you scare me and why I flirt with you. Puck and I had done stuff when I first started here at Mckinley and he thinks he can keep getting it whenever he wants." She took three quick breaths inbetween her sentences.

"Why did you think I was new? Didn't Charlie tell you to stay away from me?"

"I never saw you before you went away. Charlie only showed me a picture but you were much younger then and your hair was covering your face but I saw your smile. It was really big. You were carrying a bucket and a spade at the beach." I knew the picture she was talking about. "So I laughed because that's what happened to me at Mckinley when I first moved here. I thought I could have anyone I wanted because back at my old school, looking the way I looked really payed off. I asked this cheerleader out and everyone laughed at me when she told everyone."

"What a bitch," I murmured.

"I know right!" She gasped and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

Mr. Schue walked in and began writing something on the board. Puck sat on the table beside us and kept giving me weird looks. I think he's gotten over the fact I rejected him and now he wants to get in with me again. But I know if I do it again it'll disappoint Santana. But then again, she has girls that she fucks and then doesn't talk to them. Why couldn't I have that with Puck?

"I don't know what to do," I suddenly said and Santana rested her hand on her chin and stared at me.

"What do you mean?"

I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth and started playing with my hair. I didn't know if I should tell her this, but what have I got to lose?

"I don't want to go through the rest of the year without having someone to you know..." I raised my eyebrows and her mouth made an 'o' shape so I continued. "Puck seems like the only candidate."

"I doubt it. Just because Sam rejected you doesn't mean you won't find anyone here," She replied differently to how she was speaking before. She sounded like she was forcing confidence into her voice.

"Do you just fuck cheerleaders?" I asked innocently and she smirked really big at that.

"Pretty much." She licked her lips and turned to me. "Oh, and myself." She winked and started to pay attention to Mr. Schue.

"Are the cheerleaders gay?" I asked curiously. Santana shook her head then smirked.

"They know I'm better than the football team so no one questions that around here any more. At first I suppose it was a shock and basically every jock wanted to know how I did it, but I guess it's just all my charm," Santana jokes, flicking her hair over her shoulder, making me chuckle.

I suddenly thought of an idea. "Do you want to come over tonight and watch porn?" I know that's something people don't normally say to each other, especially in the middle of class, but because of Santana's personality I didn't think she'd be shocked at my words.

However her face turned down and she furrowed her eyebrows. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. She opened her mouth and her voice broke so she cleared her throat. "S-sure, okay."

As I close my locker I can hear some whispers coming from the girls bathroom. It's more like hissing, so I try and steer clear of that area. I walk towards the doors because school's just finished and I don't want to talk to anyone else at the moment.

I can hear the clicking of heels run passed me and when I look up from the floor I notice they belong to Rachel. She's hugging her body and running towards the choir room. I want to follow her and ask her why she's so upset, but I can't think right now. Then I hear another pair of footsteps and Quinn Fabray is rushing passed me after Rachel. I'll have to ask Rachel about that soon.

I invited Santana over and now I'm scared. I'm not scared because I've never invited her to hang out before, I'm scared because I don't know what we'll talk about. Friends usually have things in their head before they see each other. They have a plan. I don't.

When I get to the bus stop, I pull out a notebook. When I'm sitting on the bus I open my book to a new page and pull out a pen. I label the page 'Things to talk about with friends' and start making a list. I don't want to write Santana's name on the page, incase I lose this somewhere and someone finds it.

Most of the conversations on the list were about school and boys. Some others were about favourite books, movies and clothes to wear. I didn't really understand what I was writing I just read it over and over until I got home.

After I had a shower and sat in the living room I began to feel really calm. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I don't know why.

My dad was at work, Charlie was out at a club with some friends and Scott was with his friends having beers. I was home alone and Santana would be here soon. This information made me gulp.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and I stood up really fast. My feet dragged across the floor as I slid to the door. Santana was standing on the front mat, rubbing her arms viciously. I smiled kindly and gestured her to come inside.

"I bought treats," She said, holding up paper bag full of ingredients that I didn't recognize. "We're making brownies."

I just said okay because I didn't want to be rude. Santana must have spent alot of money on those ingredients. Suddenly I didn't know if this was such a good idea. I was meant to focusing on myself and graduating and I did have some homework. Not enough to make me tell Santana to leave, so I just kept quiet as she spread the ingredients on the kitchen bench.

I watched her as she mixed everything together and stuck them in the oven. She then followed me to the living room and I turned the television on.

"I've got a computer in my room so we can watch porn." Santana turned to me and nodded. She didn't seem fazed at all by my bluntness and I was happy about that. I think if I said that sentence to anyone else they would be creeped out.

"I know some really good ones," She replied, winking before turning her head back towards the television.

The brownies were done and smelt really good. I grabbed a small one and sniffed it. They smelt really different to how Charlie makes them but Santana might have a special ingredient she uses or something.

"Wait," Santana's hand shoots up to stop me from taking a bite. "Before you eat them I'm just going to say that they'll make you feel amazing and it'll make watching porn 10 times better."

I stared at the treat then back to her. I took a bite as I stared into her eyes and she bit her lip. I think she was waiting for something to happen.

"Yum," I said through chews. She grinned and took the plate of brownies up to my room. I followed her. She sat on the bed and I turned on my computer. I let her do the rest.

She pressed play and I was already on my second brownie.

"Slow down," I looked at her with my mouth full. "Please?" She looked really worried for some reason, so I put the rest of the brownie down and nodded.

The clip started play some low sensual music. Two girls were standing outside one of their house. Yet again one was blonde and one was brunette.

"Why don't we ever watch porn with a guy and a girl?"

Santana paused the clip and turned to me. She was playing with her thumbs and looked kind of sorry.

"O-okay, you can choose," She replied shakily. I looked through various videos until spotting one that looked okay. I pressed play and sat back with my head against my pillow.

It started off straight away, unlike the ones Santana chose. The girl in the video was already on her knees, touching her boobs and rubbing herself. A guy appeared, he was really muscly and had a thick beared. His chest was full of hair and the girl dug her nails in his body.

She began rubbing him and he was moaning. I didn't really feel any jitters you do when you watch porn. So I decided to switch it back to the one Santana had it on.

"What are you-"

I held my finger up to my lips to keep her quiet. She smirked and rested her head on the pillow like me. The girls began taking their clothes off and I sat up so that it wasn't obvious I was trying to look at Santana.

Her mouth was open and her hand was on her crotch. It wasn't moving but it twitched slightly and I could tell she wanted to stick it inside her. I was hardly watching the porno anymore, my eyes were fixed on Santana's reactions. She arched her back off the bed and the slowly descended back down.

I hadn't realised the porno stopped until Santana sat up and closed the tab.

"We should clean up," She said suddenly and my mind was running in vicious circles. I tried to move but the room was spinning. I could hear laughter and when I looked at Santana her face was a little distorted.

My eyelids felt really heavy and I couldn't keep them open.

"Hello, Brittany?" Santana slurred in my ear causing me to fly back and hit my butt on the floor. Her laughter filled my ears again. I was lying on my back and she was hovering over me. I blinked my eyes closed a few times and everytime she got closer to my face. Her voice was right near my ear when she said, "Have you ever fucked a girl?" She whispered and I thought my mind was oozing out of my head now.

Everything felt like it was melting, even Santana's voice.

I nodded and continued nodding even after she said she got it. She helped me to my feet and I slumped onto my bed. She grabbed the tray of brownies and stepped towards the door.

"No more of these," She smirked and her eyebrows reached her hair line. She then walked off and in that moment I just wanted to call out to her or grab her and tell her to stay. But I didn't because I was falling over again.

I guess she heard the thud and came running back to the room. I was laughing really hard now and she laughed along with me.

"You - you - you suck," I stuttered and took in a deep breath to try and contain my laughter. "You suck Santana, you got me so high," I added and her face fell. My face fell aswell, for the same reason hers did.

I hadn't felt like this since I took the pills. I was back on that cloud again and this time it was shifting. Nothing else moved around me, it was just Santana and me on this one cloud high above every other. She looked really pretty. Her arms looked so good. I don't why I was looking at her arms. I don't know why I leaned forward and rubbed my fingers along them. When I did her breath caught in her throat. I was kind of happy about that, I don't know why.

She was so simple and I was not. What I knew of her was simple, what I didn't know could be really bad. You know when you look at something for so long you start to see it's flaws? When I looked at Santana, I mean really looked at her, I didn't find any. Not externally anyway. Internally she was most definitely broken. Like a cracked diamond taken away from the display window and thrown away with all the others at the back.

She led me downstairs where she poured me a glass of water. In an hour I had sobered up and luckily it was still only us at home. Santana seemed a little out of it but she could handle the drugs more than me.

"I'm sorry," She suddenly spoke. I moved around the bench to sit on the stool beside her.

"Why are you sorry about this?" She shrugged. "Why aren't you sorry for coming on so strong around me? Why aren't you sorry for something that's worth being sorry for?" I started yelling and I don't know if this was a side effect but I didn't want to stop. I needed to vent so bad.

"Out of all of the things you apologize for it's giving me drugs? I know drugs, maybe not the kind we had tonight, but I know the feeling of being numb really well. I don't want to go back to that so fuck it, you should be sorry!" My hands were waving wildly in the air and Santana was still on the stool looking unfazed.

"Will you stop yelling?" She asked simply. I couldn't believe it, when I told her to apologize she didn't. I was getting so confused.

"Apologize."

"I did?"

"Say it again?"

"WHY?"

"I don't know." Now I was crying.

"No don't, please don't cry," Santana was hovering beside me and I could tell she was debating whether or not to hold me. I don't want her too because I know I'd just push her away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She just kept repeating it and when I looked up at her, her eyes were shut tight and her fists were clenched. At that moment I knew I was right. Her external problems were showing around me and I don't think she wanted that to happen.

She was revealing herself now and I had no idea how to react, so I kept crying.

Charlie got home around two am and Santana and I were now in my room. I stopped crying an hour ago because she left me alone for a while. I called her in when I knew I wouldn't cry anymore and she seemed really really happy that I was okay.

Charlie went straight to bed without checking on us but I heard her talking to Scott on the phone, slurring something that sounded really kinky. I shut the door because I didn't want to know. I don't think Santana did either because her face was scrunched up. It was really quite cute.

"I'm sorry," I started.

"You don't need to be sorry for performing a natural human activity."

I looked at her with my eyebrows tightly furrowed.

"Crying," She re-worded her former sentence. "Don't apologize for it."

"If we don't apologize for being human what else is there to apologize for?" I asked and she looked abit stunned at my odd curiousity.

"You amaze me," She said, with her eyes slightly glazed over and lips parted.

"I thought I scared you," I replied softly, picking at the fabric of my blankets.

"You make me feel alot of things." I looked up at her and suddenly I felt nervous. I don't really know what she was trying to say. Sometimes she was full on, telling me she wanted to fuck like rabbits. Then she was saying things like this.

"I have an idea," She said. I waited for her to finish but she got off the bed. "I'll tell you tomorrow if you'll have me over again?"

I nodded and smiled really small. I hated waiting unless it was for a surprise. This was kind of a surprise. I had no idea what to expect.

Something is happening next chapter that I know will get mixed reviews. I hope you all enjoy it though :)
Let me know what you thought of this chapter !