Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or it's characters.
Normally when I have dreams I can remember them as soon as I wake up. But I've been awake for half an hour and I can't remember anything. Staring at Santana is distracting me a little bit. She's a completely different person when she sleeps. I guess we all are. Sleeping is an escape for everyone. Some escapes involve having nightmares so those people probably like the real world better.
Half of Santana's face is squashed into the pillow next to mine and her hand rests on the corner of my pillow. I've been tracing my fingers over the tops of hers for a few minutes but she hasn't even moved.
I'm glad I didn't take any clothes off while we were asleep. I don't think I could handle her smug expression. If that happened she'd probably be the one staring at me right now. Or maybe I'm just giving Santana this pervy persona without actually giving her chance to explain. She does look really innocent right now.
Her nose scrunches and I can feel her legs stretching out under the blankets. She begins to open her eyes and I should really close mine so she doesn't suspect that I was staring at her for half an hour but I don't. I continue to stare at her as she wakes up, as the smile on her face appears.
"Hey you," She says in a croaky morning voice.
"Hi," I reply and cover most of my face with blankets so she can only see my eyes. Her smile widens so I can see her teeth. I bite the inner wall of my mouth and wait until she says something.
But she doesn't. She gets out of bed and puts on her shoes. She then grabs her dress and turns to face me again.
"I have to meet someone sorry," She says and I stay quiet. "I really wish I could stay... Maybe we can hang out later?"
I send her a small shrug because I don't really feel like talking. I watch as she pinches her lips together and sighs. I know I've made her confused by not saying anything but if I do speak then I'd probably say something weird. I could just say 'okay' or 'hope you had a good night' but I know she did. Even though I didn't dance with her or hang out with her most of the night.
She did say she met someone, the cheerleader. But when I saw them together, I didn't see Santana's eyes light up.
"You didn't dance with me last night."
I frown and lick my lips even though I know she can't see them. If I can't find the right words then I'll have to do something. So I hop out of bed and walk over to my laptop. It takes half a minute to turn on and I click itunes. Santana is still standing in the middle of the room and I approach her with a gentle expression.
I take the dress out of her hand and lay it on the bed. Then I reach out and wrap my fingers around her waist. She smirks a little and then wraps her hands around my neck. Suddenly I feel myself being walked backwards and her smirk doesn't leave her face.
My butt hits the desk behind me and I suddenly become really nervous. Santana isn't afraid when it comes to sex and if we do it right now, in the morning, then I'll feel kind of gross. I haven't brushed my teeth, not that we kiss during it anything, but still. One of her hands falls from my neck and taps the space button on the laptop.
"You have to turn the music on to dance Britt," She smiles and I blush immediately. I walk forward so that we're back in the middle of the room. Wicked Games is playing and I'm happy because I have a feeling Santana will want to sing it and I really like when she sings.
Her hands are firmly connected behind my neck and my fingers occassionally squeeze at her waist to move forward. We're swaying like we're floating and she's leading me which surprises me. I can't my eyes off of hers, it's like there's a string connecting them and refraining me to look anywhere else.
I can feel her thumb move along my neck, giving me the shivers. My mouth falls open but I don't want to let anything out incase I say the wrong thing because we're at a really good place right now. She's humming along to the music but doesn't open her mouth to sing. I'm okay with that because even listening to her hum makes me smile inside. She pushes me back a little forcefully than before and I let out a harsh gasp. Her hand cups my mound over my underwear and I push up into her hand, while throwing my head back.
She grabs one of my thighs with her free hand and wraps it around her waist so that she has more room for her other hand. It plays with my clit over the underwear and before I know it my underwear is soaked. She slowly and agonizingly reaches into my underwear and two fingers slide down and into me. She's wasting no time and I know it's because she has somewhere to be, which does make me feel a little used. But her fingers are magic and she's barely even pumping them fast yet.
I rest my head on her shoulder and push forward and back, urging her fingers to thrust into me. She gets the hint and curls the tips of them and the moan that escapes my lips is the most embarrassing sound in the world. Santana seems to love it though, because she leans forward and bites the flesh on my shoulder before grunting and thrusting faster.
Suddenly there are three knocks on the door and we both jump and let go of each other. Santana grabs her dress and tells me she'll give me my pyjama's back when I see her next. She opens my bedroom door and Charlie's standing there looking really sleepy. Her hair is wild and the buttons on her pyjama top are all mixed up.
"Hey Charlie, I was just going," Santana says in a joyful voice. It's way too joyful for morning. Charlie screws up her face and rubs her eyes before nodding.
"Okie Dokie," Charlie responds. Santana turns towards me again and curves half of her mouth up into a smile. I smile in return and then she leaves and I can hear her footsteps as she goes downstairs.
Charlie walks in and just stands in front of me. "We're going out to lunch today with mom, so wear something nice."
I'm about to screw up my face when I see that Charlie is a little more awake now and she's giving me a firm 'Don't argue with me' look. "Alright," I whisper.
I don't really know what to wear to lunch. All I can think of is shorts and a t-shirt because I doubt we're going to some fancy restaurant. Charlie is waiting for me downstairs and I sigh in relief when I see her wearing something similar to me.
Scott is in the living room watching television with my dad and laughing about something my dad is explaining. I wish I could chill with them all day and laugh. But Charlie's rushing me out of the house and into her car. It doesn't take long until we're in front of a nice cafe that looks like it's been plucked from the 80's.
We sit down at a booth and wait for my mom who we know will be running late. I can't wait to hear her excuse this time.
Charlie's scanning through the menu and asks me what I want. I tell her to just order a salad and fries and she calls over the waiter. Charlie orders a fancy sandwhich with a lot of random delicious vegetables in it.
Twenty minutes after we were supposed to meet my mom she finally shows up... With her new boyfriend. Charlie looks at me with a shake of her head and I can tell she's going to be really blunt towards my mom. There are certain emotions Charlie shows to a person that foreshadow a large argument.
I grab Charlie's hand and give it a squeeze before letting go and standing up to greet my mom. I don't smile really big like I used to but because I don't want to be rude I hug her extra tight. I step back and shake her new boyfriend's hand. He has a brown hair, slicked back with tonnes of hair gel.
I look over to Charlie and she's giggling at the same thing I am. Charlie moves over to my side of the booth while my mom and her new boyfriend sit across from us.
"This is Pete," My mom explains. Pete grins at both of us and nods. I don't return it. Neither does Charlie. "Did you girls order?"
I nod my head and my mom takes the menu from us to look at it with Pete. My mom chooses the salad like me and Pete chooses some meal with a large steak and vegetables on the side. It's a real man's meal.
My hand is resting on Charlie's arm. I don't think I've ever felt so uncomfortable and unsafe in my life. With Charlie here though, I know I'll be okay because she's the type of person that can make you feel better real quick. She tells really bad jokes which make me laugh.
"How's school Brittany?"
"It's good."
"What do you want to do next year?" Pete chimes in and I snap my gaze towards him. He's expecting a sharp answer and when I don't give him one my mom clears her throat. I look back at her and she's blushing. I guess she hasn't told Pete what I've been through. Typical.
"I'm not sure yet."
Pete clears his throat awkwardly too and then the booth goes silent for a minute. "Hey isn't that Santana?" Charlie whispers to me and I look over to where she's looking.
I watch as Santana leads some cheerleader from our school to a table. So that's where she had to run off to. I don't really feel jealous, but I do wish I had Mike or someone here so we could be even. Even my mom has someone.
"Oh god," My mom groans and sinks a little in her chair. She gestures for Charlie and me to do the same. "Don't bring that girl over here."
My eyebrows sink and I feel like speaking up, but then I'll have to explain why I was hanging out with Santana. I know my mom was the one that didn't want us to meet and Charlie was the other. But they most likely had completely different reasons.
Our meal ends a half hour later and we're all standing up to leave. On the way passed Santana, Charlie stops and pulls me back with her. "Hey Santana," Charlie beams.
Santana looks up and grins, but when her eyes fall to me staring at her with a blank expression, it disappears.
"Well hello Santana!" My mom is now standing beside me alone. Pete is waiting in the car. I know that Santana can tell she's being fake by her hesitant smile. "Are you being good to Britatny at school?" She winks and I almost feel like vomiting.
Santana rolls her eyes as she looks away, then turns back to us with a smile. "Yes actually, she's incredible."
My mom's grin turns completely down and she groans. "Good to see you," She says between gritted teeth, before storming out of the cafe.
"Hey Santana," Charlie begins, capturing her attention once again. "Scott, Britt and I are going to a kareoke bar tomorrow night if you'd like to come," She looks over at the other end of the table where the cheerleader is eating a hot dog. "You can bring your friend aswell."
Santana looks towards me but I don't say anything. My eyes feel really heavy and I end up blinking a heap of times before she turns back to Charlie. "Sounds awesome."
"You can bring someone too Britt," Charlie says, flicking through the channels on T.V.
"Okay," I respond automatically, pulling at my socks. I know I'll probably ask Mike Chang, but I'd still rather just go with Santana and Charlie and Scott.
"I'm going to beat you all, just watch," Scott warns, squinting his eyes at both of us. I notice and giggle before resting back on the recliner. I wonder if Santana had been on a date before. I wonder if that was even a date today. I'll have to ask her tomorrow.
When I woke up the next day and checked my phone I had two messages from Santana.
Are you bringing Mike Wanghole tonight? - Santana
Chang* Sorry auto correct - Santana
Despite how rude that was of Santana to call Mike that, because he is a nice guy, I couldn't help but let out a really big laugh. Charlie thought I was choking and leapt in my room with her arms out wide and her hair really frazzled. "What's going on? Is someone here? Whose with you Brittany?"
"No one!" I squealed back and laughed even more at how she was acting.
I texted Santana back saying yes, tonight should be fun and got no reply. I think she's mad at me for saying I'm going to bring someone, I don't think she really hates Mike. If I had brought another jock or even a cheerleader I'm sure Santana would still be mad. But I could be mad at her to, because she's bringing that stupid cheerleader. Well I'm sure she isn't stupid, but she could be. Maybe it'd be fun to see how Santana reacts tonight around Mike and me, because I don't really think I'll be acting any differently around her and that cheerleader.
I've seen her with cheerleaders before and I haven't gotten mad. Maybe that's because I didn't really pay attention to the fact that Santana was giving herself to these girls that didn't love her or really appreciate her. I'm sure they used her just for a quickie and she made it seem like she used them. I'll have to ask Santana about that to... And her parents because now that we're friends I'm sure she'd tell me about them.
I only just realised I've been procrastinating in my room for half the day now and it's almost time to get ready. I can hear Scott in the bathroom singing really, really loudly. I can't tell what song it is, because Charlie's yelling at him through the door.
My closet resembles a war zone because I can't seem to find the right outfit. The thing I'm most struggling with however is whether I'm trying to impress Mike or trying to impress Santana. I want to look hotter than that cheerleader because cheerleaders can't seem to look ugly in anything they wear. I haven't been this frustrated before in my life, a part from the the first time I tried to open a bottle of pills and it was sealed tight. I even tried using my teeth, but gave up after two hours. I just waited for my aunt to accidentally leave them open one night. Unfortunately for me, I didn't have to wait long.
Charlie is getting ready in her room when I step in. She eyes me in my pyjama's before shaking her head and letting out a small laugh. "C'mon over here Britt."
I walk over to her and we both stand in front of her closet. It's the same size as mine, except everything is really neat. It looks like a closet Miss. Pillsbury would own; all colour coordinated and clean. Charlie hands me various items and I walk over to her bed to lay them out. There is one dress that catches my eyes and I can already see Santana drooling over me in it...I should really have thought Mike...
"That would look hot!" Charlie squeals and picks up the dress I've been eyeing. She slams it to my chest and pushes me towards the bathroom. "Oh, Britt!" She calls just before I close the door. She picks out a pair of heels and hands them to me. I give her an 'are you sure about this' look and she nods really enthusiastically.
The car ride isn't that long, but the compliments from my dad, Scott and Charlie seemed to drag on forever. Not that I didn't appreciate them. I just didn't expect to look all that good tonight, but they said I looked beautiful, so I'll have to trust them. Charlie even did my make up and straightened my hair which is also swept to one side.
The dress is a teal colour and it's tight fitting and strapless. It makes my boobs look really good. I had texted Mike before we left asking if he needed a ride, but he said he can drive there. It wasn't long before we entered the bar and found a booth near the stage.
"Where's Santana?" Charlie asked. Scott ordered a drink before replying.
"She's at that cheerleaders place, they're getting ready together then they'll be here."
I felt really ill at the thought of Santana and that cheerleader having a quickie before they come here. When they arrive I'll probably be able to smell the sex on both of them.
"Britt your date is here," Charlie whispered to me and I turned around.
Mike was standing by the door with a big grin. He walked over to me and gave me a tight hug which I reciprocated. I'll have to ask Mike why he is so nice to me.
"Hey guys, I'm Mike, it's nice to meet you," He directs his voice in Charlie and Scott's direction. Charlie leans up and hugs him while Scott settles for a friendly handshake. We all settle into the booth and I begin to grow anxious. Surely they can't have been going at it for this long. I just really want Santana to get here because with her around everything feels sort of right - like everything is in place.
"Are you going to sing tonight Mike?" Charlie asks.
Mike's cheeks turn really red at that and he looks at me for help. When I shrug and giggle half heartedly Mike turns back to Charlie. "I'm more of a dancer."
"Well they have some awesome funky beats up in here," Scott chimes in, causing us all to stare at him weirdly.
"Why do I like you?" Charlie murmurs sarcastically and Mike and me chuckle. Mike edges closer to me on the seat and places his right hand on my thigh. Charlie and Scott are oblivious to this but I wish they saw so they could tell him to get off of me. I didn't really like closeness, I never really have. Santana breathing on my neck should have caused me to have a panic attack, but I actually enjoyed that. That much intimacy was endearing and I really wish I could kiss her neck again...
"Santana! There you are," Scott yells a little too loudly and I keep my head down towards Mike's hand which is slowly moving up and down my leg.
Once Santana and her date and standing near the booth I look up and meet her gaze. Santana's eyes are glues to my dress though, even though you can only see the top half. She then trails her eyes up to mine and we stare at each other so intensely for a few moments. She looks beautiful. Her dress is black lace and her legs look awesome.
Her lips are what catch my attention though. She's wearing bright red lipstick and they make them look more full and kissable.
The cheerleader tugs on Santana's arm and we're both snapped out of staring contest. "Introduce me Sannnn," She draws out in a whiny voice. I huff and look back down at Mike's hand. It's now creeping between my legs and I think Santana noticed before because her jaw was slightly tense.
"Stop," I whisper to Mike and he retracts his hand and places them both on his lap.
"This is my brother Scott, Scott's girlfriend Charlie, Charlie's sister Brittany who I'm sure you've seen around at school," The cheerleader smirks and nods. "And Mike... Brittany's friend."
"Date," Mike clarifies with a smug look I've never seen him wear before. I'm suddenly feeling really uncomfortable and decide to hop up and find a waitress.
"Britt you don't have to get up to call the waitress," Charlie explains and everyone laughs.
I send her tight lipped smile and continue walking around. I end up at the bar and sit on one of the stools. I order an iced water and it cleanses my throat. The stool next to me slides back and I notice Santana's the one pulling it and now sitting on it. She's smiling shyly at me and I can't help but smile back.
"You look beautiful."
"You too," I reply quietly. She blushes and turns toward the bartender.
"Same as her." I'm looking at her profile, which is just as beautiful as looking at her front on.
"Have you ever been on a date before?" I murmur and she stops drinking her water and turns to me.
"Why do you want to know?" She looks a little nervous and I don't want that reaction. I want her to feel comfortable in telling me things.
"Well, you didn't introduce your date, you were just staring at me," I respond, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, you were kind of staring at me too. And you didn't introduce Mike to Elle and I," Santana retorts, raising her own eyebrow at me.
I giggle. "Touché."
"C'mon lets get back to everyone," She suggests and we both hop off our stools and walk back to the booth. Mike and Elle are talking closely when we return. They both separate and smile widely at us, opening their arms to hold us close like it's come synchronised welcome back they prepared.
Charlie and Scott are on the dance floor, if that's what you call it. It's a small space just in front of the stage and country music is playing through the speakers. Scott is dancing like a cowboy while Charlie looks like she's riding a horse and whipping it. I look across the table at Santana and Elle has her fingers trailing up Santana's arm. I know Santana doesn't like it because all her attention is on me and I feel a little smug. I don't show it though, I just lean a little closer to Mike and allow him to place an arm around me.
Santana's eyes grow intense and she looks like she's about to throw a punch at Mike. I really hope a fight doesn't break out though, I don't want Santana to have bruises again, she's too pretty. I don't think Mike would even hit her, but if he tried I'm sure Scott would step in. Or maybe I would protect her. Somehow.
There's suddenly an announcement that a karaoke tournament would be starting soon. Scott comes back over to the booth yelling that he's going to win and Santana should join him. I nod in agreement and Santana ducks her head in embarassment.
"Go on," I say gently and she stares at me with hesitation. She listens to me and stands up, following Scott to the stage.
Scott came in equal 6th with some old man that had an obsession with Cher. Santana came first with her choice of Amy Winehouse and literally blew everyone away. I loved it when she sang, I could literally feel myself being pulled her as she stared at me on stage. By the end of the song I had completely moved away from Mike and my butt wasn't even on the seat any more.
When she returned, Elle gave her a really big hug and wouldn't let go even though Santana was a little reluctant to hug back. I turned to Mike and he was twirling his straw in his hand looking really grumpy. Before I could say anything, Charlie and Scott came over and told us we should get going. Mike basically let out a relieve sigh for the whole country to hear. Charlie looked at me weird and I shrugged. I followed Mike outside and we stood in the parking lot.
Charlie and Scott said they'd be heading back to Scott's house and I could get a ride with Santana or even Mike. But by the look on Mike's face he wasn't really into me as much as he was at the beginning of the night.
"Look Brittany, I have to be honest with you. I wasn't going to come tonight," I looked down at my hands as he talked. "Puck asked me to try and get with you, I'm sorry. This was all really stupid, good night." It's weird because I could hear the sincerity in Mike's voice. But he was being really mean. When he walked away I looked up and saw Santana standing a meter away with Elle.
Elle was giggling while Santana looked like she really was about to punch Mike. She made a move to him but I stepped in front of her and whispered for her not too.
"Do you need a ride home?"
I didn't answer, I was starting to cry.
"Excuse me! You're taking me home," Elle whined.
"Not any more Elephant, I'm sure that hobo has a spare seat on his dick," Santana growled and Elle scrambled away from us towards Mike's car. They drove off together which made me cry even more. Santana tried hugging me but I pushed her away and walked around to the side of the building. People had been looking and it was making me feel worse, because I shouldn't be crying after a mostly fun night.
"Brittany stop," Santana whispered sharply. I leant against the wall and sobbed harder. She reached forward for my arms but I thrashed against her trying to break free from her surprisingly strong hold.
"Let go," I whimpered.
"No Brittany," Santana answered firmly.
"Stop!" I almost screamed but I was running out of energy. Santana was trying so hard to keep my arms by my sides but I kept hitting her chest. Once it struck me that I was potentially inflicting pain on her I stopped and slowed down. She has my wrists in her hands which were now by my sides.
I closed my eyes and rested my head on the wall behind me. Santana was breathing steadily and it was calming hearing that. When I opened my eyes, I brought my head off the wall and looked at her.
Her lipstick had faded a little, but it was still making her lips look really nice. Her nose and cheeks were shiny, like they had been covered in the shimmer powder Charlie showed me once. The pupils in her eyes were really small and it looked like her eyes were pure black.
I don't know what possessed me to say it. It could have been our closeness, or the fact we had been staring at each other, unmoving for so long. But I just let the words fall from my lips without hesitation.
"Fuck me."
It comes out as a half whisper, half whimper. I'm sure she's heard me because her eyes grow slightly wider and her lips are parted as a result of shock.
What I'm not sure of is why she's hesitating. Normally I don't have to ask.
"No." Santana walks back to her car and I follow her with a frown. Something has changed within her since we last spoke and I'm interested to know how much that took out of her to resist me.
We're in my room. She's in the bathroom getting dressed even though she hardly wears anything to bed. Tight shorts and a singlet are all that occupy her body. I know that it will be uncomfortable as soon as she steps back in here. It was quiet in the car. I still can't believe she resisted. That was probably going through her mind as well.
Before she's finished in the bathroom I decide to go downstairs and get a glass of water. She'll probably go straight to bed once she's done in the bathroom.
Dad's on the sofa. He's asleep and the television is on mute. I kiss him on the cheek and return to the kitchen. Santana's standing by the breakfast table with her head down.
Everything was so... Cute. I'm not sure if that's the right word, but I'll use it anyway. It was cute. She was cute and we were cute together and Connor's party. Then I had to go and invite Mike Chang and Charlie had to tell her to bring that stupid girl. I doubt Santana and me would have gone as each other's dates to the karaoke bar, but it still would have been nice to just be there together.
I haven't really been paying attention to what I've been doing. But I'm standing by the sink refilling my already full water. The water spurts out the rim of the glass and I turn the tap off. Santana hasn't said anything so I don't either. I turn away towards the stairs but Santana catches my wrists and says something that makes me squirm.
"Do you want me to fuck you?" She whispered. Her hold on my wrist feels really warm and as the seconds fly by I feel like I'm on fire. So I turn around and she grabs my hips. She pushes my back against the breakfast table and brings her face in really fast to mine it's like she's going to kiss me. But she darts right and her lips connect with my neck. I breathe out her name and she bites my skin.
Her finger turn white from digging into my waist and her core grinds into my own. I wrap my legs around her and she lifts me onto the table. We still haven't kissed yet and I want to ask her why. And I want to ask her why she acts how she does, because I know that it's not all the fault of her parents death. I want her to tell me things instead of relieving my stress every fucking two days.
"Ouch!"
I push her off me and she hits the edge of the kitchen bench. "I'm sorry," I pant out. "But I'm not interested in that right now. I-I thought I was but I really just want to talk."
She looks pissed off - not with me, but with herself. She holds out her hand and I take it without hesitation. What I love the most is that we intertwine our fingers and lock them together. She leads me back to my bedroom and pulls the blankets back on the bed. I get in first, then she follows.
"What did you want to talk about Britt?" She asks once we're both comfortable and facing each other.
I gaze all around her face, wondering where to start. Then I just go for it, because I feel like if we have this talk, we'll be closer.
"What's wrong with you?"
Her expression remains unchanged. "When I was fifteen I got breast implants." I hold back my gasp. "My parents never made me feel like I was pretty enough. I purged twice, in the school bathroom because I wanted to be a Cheerleader. I realised after seeing how Sue treated her Cheerios I didn't want to be one of them. I tried to join Glee club, but they found out I and six other students had bought marijuana off Sandy Ryerson and he got fired. Also, they found out I had breast implants and Mr. Schue didn't even let me finish my audition song. He said that they didn't want someone who has to change how they look to be better - that wasn't the point of Glee club," She licks her lips.
"I had sex with so many girls just to feel good about myself. And it's a weird way of trying to feel better about yourself, but it helped me because I could make someone else feel better as well," She shifts her face closer to mine. "Then Charlie told me about you. She showed me that picture and I-" She stops, wondering if she should say what she was about to. I really want her too. She's told me so much already. "I knew."
"Knew what?"
She smiles. "We were destined to meet."
I never understood fate. Not when my father used to tell me about it, not when Charlie gushed about it after making out with this curly head boy in freshman year. I didn't believe in anything, especially after I was locked up in the clinic, without anybody to love me.
"My mom told you I was crazy," By my strange tone I know she's not sure whether I'm asking her or telling her. She seems to disregard it and say the first thing that pops into her head. Something my mom would tell me not to say to strangers, but we're don't feel like a strangers at all anymore. "So what? I'm crazy too."
Santana turns over and I scoot closer to her. I inhale her scent and smile, while closing my eyes and wrapping my arm around her waist. My nose brushes against a path of exposed skin on her neck and I hear her sigh. I wrap a leg around her and push forward. She lets out another sigh, but this time it sounds a lot like a moan as well.
"What?" I whisper. Tell me what you want me to do.
"Britt," She breathes my name. I grind my core against her butt and she lets out heavy breaths. My hand slips under her singlet and I play with her stomach softly. She then pushes back into me, wanting more and more contact. So I give it to her. I move my hand toward the waistband of her shorts and they're halfway down her mound when she stops me and lifts my hand up to her lips. She kisses my knuckles and snuggles back into me, almost like the grinding never happened.
"Soon," She whispers. I hum into her hair as a response. It's okay as long as I'm holding her.
A/N: Lol three reviews on the last chapter. Oh well, I loved that chapter.
Please let me know if you want me to continue this, because there is much more to reveal.