A/N: I know you all want to know more about Santana, so here is the second last secret. The last one will be revealed next chapter and I'm sure you'll all love it :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or it's characters.
We woke up beside each other again this morning. Every time we did, it would confirm my feelings. Everything I am belongs to her now. We didn't need a label just yet to place us in a category of romance. We just needed those subtle looks of want, those small touches during class and of course the kissing... That was my favourite part. I gave her my crusts at the breakfast table because I know how much she loves them. I let her choose the radio station and she let me hold her hand. Your song came on and she quietly whispered to me that this was one of her favourites. I told her this could be our song, unless she was already sharing it with someone else. She told me that her dad wouldn't mind. Apparently it was the only song he listened to after she was born.
I could tell she was worrying as we walked down the hall into school. She wasn't used to this - being noticed for something other than being weird. Of course I didn't think that, everyone else did. Even Glee club. But they were a bunch of weirdos themselves. I'm so close to telling her everything. I can feel the words running around in my head and as soon as she asks me that question I lose it. I lose the strength to follow through with how I feel. But people say actions speak louder than words, so that's why I do nice things for her. Maybe at the beginning I was a little unsure of how to deal with my feelings, that's why rabbits seemed like the only appropriate thing in my head at the time.
I hoped after that she wasn't too freaked out. But we've made so much progress. It's alot like the clinic I guess. I don't know, I didn't stay long. But I hope I'm doing better than her doctor did at her clinic, because I've never actually done this before. God, when she touched me down there I swear I could've died right there and I would have been happy. Although, if I died, she would be sad too. I couldn't have her sad if I couldn't do nothing about it. So I try and keep that smile on her face for as long as possible until she finds out. Because I don't know what she'd say to anything I'm going to tell her. I feel like I know her but there's still so much we both have to learn. I wish she could hear my thoughts right now, she'd think I was so mature. Oh crap, she just looked at me weird.
"How are you?" I ask chipper than normal. Santana's been quiet since we stepped out of the car. She was cute in the morning though. She let me eat her crusts and she let me choose what song we listened to in the car. We've also been holding hands for around 15 minutes. I even got out of the car on her side just so we wouldn't have to let go.
"I'm doing good, how are you Britt?" She gives me a small smile.
"Awesome," I respond with a grin, squeezing her hand tighter. We pass by the choir room and I notice Rachel practising some opera song with Brad the piano guy. She always goes in there when there's no Glee club practice. Santana's now tugging on my hand and leading me outside.
We both have a free period this morning, but I told her we'd go to the library to study. Obviously she has other plans as she leads me to the bleachers. "We have to study!" I giggled as we ran across the oval towards our destination.
"You won't worry about studying after this Britt-Britt," She replies confidently and my heart trembles at the new nickname. She can definitely own that one.
"I really do-" My words pause in my throat when I see that the old sofa replaced with classroom table and two chairs. There is a red table cloth covering the table because there's bound to be some gum still stuck on it. There are two candles on either side of the table not lit yet. There are two plates in front of each candle and some cutlery. The grin that I didn't know was covering my face fades when I look at Santana. She looks so worried and all I can do is stare at her and think to myself how I deserved this.
I cup her cheek and bring her face closer to mine. My lips graze over hers softly and when she licks her lips she ends up licking mine aswell. We both gasp and grin at eachother before pulling away.
"There will be plenty of time for that." She winks and pulls out a chair for me. I giggle and sit down while she takes place across from me. She unzips her school bag and pulls out two paper bags. She hands one to me and I squit my eyes suspiciously at her. "Open it!" She laughs.
I reach into the paper bag and pull out a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich. "Oh my god," I squeal and hold myself back from lunging over the table to hug her. She grabs out her own sandwhich and in no time we're both munching on them. She pulls out two apple juices and hands me one.
"Thk mu!" I mumble through chews and watch Santana laugh at me failing. "Sh urp!" She laughs again, even louder this time and I stop chewing so I can focus on her mouth and teeth and brightness in her eyes. When she stops laughing she looks at me through hooded eyes and light blush floods her cheeks.
"What?" She whispers. I hold her gaze and reach down for my apple juice. She wets her lips while staring into my eyes and when I put the bottle to my lips her eyes descend to them. I try as seductively as possible to drink what's left of my apple juice and I even lick around the rim. Her eyes flutter shut for a moment as she tries to regain her composure.
"What?" I mirror her words. She smirks and bites her lips, standing up and walking over to me. When I think she's going to shove the table away and fuck me senseless, she instead picks up my paper bag and puts the crust in it while walking over the bin. She then stacks our plates and throws the apple juice bottles away.
I don't really know what to do now until she speaks.
"We should do something special one night," She looks almost embarrased as she speaks. "Like have a really nice dinner, better than this. Then maybe go back to one of our houses and really you know..." She trails off when I place my hand on hers.
"I'd love to," I reply stroking my thumb over her knuckles.
"Awesome," She murmurs.
"Should we tell anybody about us." I don't go into detail in who 'anybody' is but by the redness on her cheeks she realises who I mean.
"Maybe, if we do tell anybody," She pinches her lips together. "We shouldn't, you know, as much." She watches as my eyebrows raise. "You know, just so they know that we're serious about us, I mean you and me, this um, you know..."
I breath out a laugh and let her words think in. She's basically saying no sex until we tell Charlie and Scott. And she said she wants them to know we're serious... Does she want to be my girlfriend?
"I think we can handle no teasing or sex for a while..." I wink at her and she gulps.
"Yeah I mean, it'll be good." She nods heaps in an attempt to reassure herself.
"Ofcourse," I whisper, sitting back in my seat and spreading my legs. Her eyes instantly descend my body and I smirk inwardly. Before any of us can make a move though we hear the bell ring for recess and we both jump. Then the voice closing in on us make us both leap from out of our seats and hide under the table.
It's just some footballers and cheerleaders mumbling about having some awesome keg party this weekend. I sigh and roll my eyes and hear Santana giggle beside me. We're pretty close because the classroom tables aren't really meant for students to hide under them.
"Britt," Santana whispers and her breath hits my cheek. I close my eyes and breathe in slowly before turning to look at her. "You didnt," She moves forward. "Say that we," Her hand slides up my waist. "Couldn't kiss."
"San," I mumble into the slowly warming air around us. Being under this table it's about 30 degrees hotter. Add Santana's tongue against my ear and that's another 30,000 degrees.
"Please? Just kiss me, that's all I want," She replies softly. Our faces edge closer together and without a second thought she kisses me firmly. I'm completely caught in her spell until she swirls her tongue around mine and I whimper. She grins and her teeth nip on my bottom lip.
"Mmm San, do you know how much I want you right now," I whisper against her mouth. She swallows and nods her head.
"I want you too baby, so bad," She swipes her thumb over my right cheekbone. "We could always watch porn and masturbate?" She suggests with a wink. I slap her arm lightly and roll my eyes. It would be hot to watch her masturbate though and it wouldn't be as thought we'd be doing anything to each other... I could just watch her get off.
"Let's go back to mine," I husk and watch her eyes brighten.
She nods vigorously and says, "Anything you want."
Santana and me have spent an hour forging notes to our teachers about why we weren't in class. She's saying she has some sexually transmitted desease and signs Scott's name underneath. I just say I have a stomach bug and even draw a little bug in the corner of the paper which Santana scolds me for.
"It's cute," I squeal as she takes the paper from my hands.
"It'll get you into trouble. Do you think your dad would draw a small insect at the bottom of his daughters sick note?"
"You know what, probably not," I pinch my lips together and show Santana my puppy dog eyes. She knows she can't resist.
Finally I watch her sigh and stick the notes into the teachers lockers before running down the hall. Suddenly I stop just outside the choir room. It's empty and the perfect place to have some real alone time without a bed in the room to distract us.
Santana follows me inside, scanning the instruments on one side of the room and the half empty trophy case behind them.
"We should probably go," Santana murmurs but I take her hand and lead her to the chairs. She sits down beside me willingly and gives me a small smile. "I haven't been in here since my audition."
She's staring off in wonderment around the room and I don't know why because nothing has really changed. The trophy cabinet is a lot more full than I last saw it but everything else feels the same. Although it's colder and less welcoming.
"I liked coming here alot," I explain and sigh. "Now it just feels strange."
"My parents were performers," She mumbled, looking down at her hands. I shuffled my chair closer to her in an attempt to make her feel comfortable in talking about it. This was it. My hands were so sweaty. "They always encouraged me to sing and after everything happened, I auditioned for Glee club. I wasn't the nicest person so..." She trails off and turns her chair towards mine. I do the same. She searches my face for a moment before speaking.
"When I was fourteen I had this huge fight with my parents. I took my dad's," She chokes out a tiny sob but breathes in deeply. "Car and I drove it and ended up crashing into a pole." I could see her eyes glistening with tears desperate to fall. "I was in hospital for three months and one day the nurse came into my room. I asked her where my parents were because they were supposed to visit me and she just shook her head," She sniffled into her hand. "My parents died on the the way to visit me. It's my fault for driving that stupid car," She hisses, pain and regret flooding her features. I wanted to hug her really bad, but I'd let her finish first. "I went to a clinic because I suffered from severe depression. I got out after a year and I moved to Mckinley in sophomore year. They said I'd never be able to get close to people."
I didn't realise I was crying aswell until I could taste the tears on my lips. "Santana, I'm so sorry..." She leans forward and wraps me up into her. My head buries into her neck and we both cry against each other, our bodies quaking with every sob.
"S-San I-" Your breath catches in your throat before you can say what you have wanted to tell her for so long.
"Um..." Our heads turn the source of the noise. "Hey girls," Mr. Schue says semi awkwardly.
Santana and me look passed him to see the Glee kids completely confused. Mercedes is almost crying with us and Kurt looks slightly aroused in the romance.
"Sorry, we were just going," Santana stands and takes my hand.
"Hey," Quinn yells after us. We both stop and turn around unaware of what she's about to say. "If you girls need a place to be, other than home, you're welcome here." Her smile completes the apology, if that's what it was. Santana nods slightly and I smile really small in return. Then we both turn and walk away, hands still connected.
We're walking into my house giggling and poking each other when we notice Charlie and Scott in the living room. We stop and stare at them because they look like they just discovered their Christmas presents early. "Brittany, Santana, how would you two like to return to that karaoke bar tonight?" Charlie asks with a grin.
"Sure," I say tight lipped and look at Santana whose nodding.
"Sounds good," Santana says in the same tone as me. We're both holding back our laughter because we're so happy. Well I think she's happy. I know that I'm happy because I don't like and act like this when I'm sad. Unless I really want to hide it from someone.
"We should go and get ready," Scott says to Santana and her mouth drops open to say something.
"Um, we're just going to um, Santana left something in my room, come on," I mutter, grabbing Santana's hand and running upstairs.
I open the door to my room and let go of Santana's hand. She's standing by the door, eyeing me up and down hungrily. I didn't bring her up here for a quickie even though by the way she's looking at me I think that's what she wants.
"We won't have any alone time at the bar will we?" She asks, stalking towards me like I'm her prey.
I turn my head and blush. She always has a way of making me feel so small, but good inside.
"No, we won't but I just wanted to talk now," I say softly and her eyes instantly turn to their normal shade. She continues coming close to me though and rubs her palm along my shoulder. "I don't want you to think it's your fault Santana," I begin. "Your parents would not have wanted you to think that and even though I didn't get to meet them I just know."
She purses her lips together and nods. I urge her to talk by taking her hand off my shoulder and linking our fingers together.
"I wasn't a good person Britt. I was so selfish and Scott was so close to hating me. I was reckless and so young that I didn't know that what I did was hurting people around me."
"Is that why my mom didn't want us hanging out?" She nods hesitantly. I lean close to her so our breaths are rebounding off each others. As I look into her eyes I realise how much we've progressed. I couldn't stand to look at her months ago and now we're an inch apart and I'm thinking about kissing her. "Santana," I whisper and her eyes flutter close. "Even if we had met back then, I would have wanted to be close to you. Whether it's friends, or acquaintances, or even lovers." I cup her cheeks and wrap my lips around her bottom one. Then I feel something cold hit my cheek and when I open my eyes I realise she's crying. "You're beautiful," I whisper hotly when our lips break apart.
"Stop it," She whispers shyly.
"No," I reply firmly, bring our lips back together. "Never." She whimpers when we kiss and her hand reaches for my hair and pulls. I hiss and slip my tongue between her lips.
"Mmm, we shouldn't," She breathes against my mouth. I nod and distance myself from her.
"Yeah, I'll see you tonight," I reply, wiping my mouth and fixing my hair. She winks and walks out of my room. Tonight will definitely be difficult.
It wasn't a long drive. But it gave me time to think. What if Santana looked hot tonight? I would look at my shoes. What is Santana touching my legs under the table? I'd stand up and dance with anyone but her. What if Santana said she was going to bathroom? I'd get up and join he- No! I couldn't do anything suspicious in front of Charlie and Scott. I should have made it clearer to her we couldn't... But maybe she won't. Maybe she thinks I'll be the one teasing... Maybe I will.
I walk into the bar with confidence, not knowing if Santana and Scott have already arrived. Then Charlie leads me to a booth and I notice them standing by a table. Woah.
Santana's wearing a tight red dress and fur vest. Her hair is swept to the side exposing most of her neck. It looks so delicious.
"Hey guys!" Scott yells, wrapping his arms around me. I peek over his shoulder at Santana and she's smirking with her hand on her hip. Scott lets me go and walks with Charlie to the bar. Santana heads towards me and runs her finger from my forehead straight down the middle of my body, stopping just at my underwear line.
"You look delicious," She whispers.
"Drink?" I change the subject eagerly, swerving passed her towards the booth. We order two lemonades and I make sure to sit away from her.
"Britt," She says in a seductive voice. "Brittttt," She whines. "Brittany!" She squeals and I jump and turn towards her.
"What?" I hiss.
"I'm not going to do anything don't worry." I notice the sincerity in her eyes and give her a shy smile.
"Girls." Who the hell invited my mom?
"What are you doing here?" I ask, standing up to hug her.
"Charlie invited me, I thought she told you. Oh hello Santana," She says dryly, sticking out her hand. Santana brushes the hand away and hugs my mom. My eyes widen as I think my mom is going to implode but she just hugs back. She doesn't squeeze though, not like she does when she hugs me. I think she'll learn to though, this is just the first step.
"I'm glad you're here," I say as happily as possible. My mom buys it and scoots into the booth next to me. "Where is that guy?"
"Oh Pete? We didn't work out." She says off handedly and orders a drink. I wish my mom wasn't so dry or whatever about guys in her life. I wish she just stuck with my dad instead of sleeping around and kicking every other guy out of her life. She's wasting her time. But I couldn't tell her that. I should follow my own advice I guess and stop wasting time. Santana looks so beautiful tonight.
"So what happened with Mike the other night?" Charlie and Scott join the booth and we're all squished around the table like fish in a tiny bowel.
"Why would you ask me now?" I snap suddenly. I didn't mean to sound harsh. "I'm sorry," I sigh. "It just didn't work out."
Charlie puts her hand on my shoulder. "It'll be okay." I nod and send her a small smile before turning my eyes towards Santana. She's playing with the straw in her lemonade and I think she's avoiding eye contact.
"I'm going to dance," I say and walk to the small dance floor that's filled with mostly couples young and old. The music playing isn't club music but it's fast enough and has a good beat. I close my eyes and sway slowly at first, trying to find my rhythm. I don't want to push it, because I've always been so anxious about going out to a crowded place and dancing. I could bump into people and hurt myself and that's the last thing my dad needs. That's the last thing I need because I've gotten so, so much better.
"Mind if I dance with you?" I hear her whisper against my neck. I turn around and look passed her to my mom, Charlie and Scott all chatting at the booth. They aren't paying attention, so I think it should be okay if we dance for a little while.
I smile at her and place one hand on her shoulder. She doesn't touch me but her stomach slides against my occasionally. I groan and turn around. That's when I feel her hands on my waist. She grips so tightly that I feel like I could pass out. I shake my ass into her, making sure to really feel her against me.
My hand reaches behind me blindly and I accidentally feel skin. My fingers stay near the hem of her dress for a while until I hear her voice in my ear.
"Brittany, it's so hard not to take you right here." I can feel my skin burn at her words. It's like she's permanently carving sexual comments into my flesh. I crave her so much I can't stand it any more.
I twist around and grab her hand. I lead her towards the back door and we end up outside in an alleyway. There aren't any people out here, but even if there were I don't think I'd mind. All I can think about is Santana. I walk down further into the alleyway and twist around swiftly. I back Santana against the brick wall, making sure I don't hurt her. My lips attack hers, biting and sucking, anything they can do to taste her. She tangles her fingers in my hair and brings our faces impossibly close.
"Fuck," I breathe into her mouth and lift one of her legs so I can slip one of mine between them. She groans and arches her back. I kiss her again hard, before detaching my lips and travelling them down her jaw and neck. My fingers slip under the back of her dress and I can now feel her underwear. I squeeze her flesh and she buries her head in my neck.
I suddenly stop my movements and I know this isn't the nicest place to get on my knees but I do it anyway.
"What are you-" Santana begins to say but I shut her up by running a finger along her underwear. "Wait Britt!"
"What?" I breathe and stand up straight.
"I can't have you going down on me in an alleyway," She says, chest still heaving.
"I know I just, I need you now," I breathe and lean into kiss her. She brings her hands to my cheeks and pulls me closer. I suck on her lips, not allowing her to suck on mine.
"Britt!" She squeals and I grin.
"Sorry, your lips are just..." I trail off and lean forward again. Our foreheads rest against each other and when I look down I notice her pulling her dress down.
"Maybe we could ditch," She says with a sly smirk. I poke my tongue out and lick her lips.
"Maybe." I wink and walk back to the door. I look back and see her standing there with her hands on her hips. "We'll have to say goodbye first. Do you know how to fake sick?" Her grin grows and she runs towards me. Before she opens the door, she places a kiss to my cheek that lingers a while.
"Now you're sick too," She whispers and disappears inside.
Thank you for reading! Reviews are appreciated :)
Next chapter will be up next week, sorry I have a lot of work and study!