"So… how're you guys doing?"
The awkwardness in this situation was almost tangible.
Finland, Iceland, and Denmark, having accepted Korea's offer to drive them home, were now sitting in silence, squashed in the Asian nation's very small car.
"We're fine…"
Finland tried in vain to break the silence, but was having trouble finding a topic that would make any sense whatsoever.
"So, what are you doing in Scandinavia, Korea? I'm guessing it's not on your usual route, right?" Score 1 for Finland.
"Oh, I'm just driving through on my way to America! He told me there was a bar in his country where the waitresses wear less clothes than Ukraine when she's drunk, and I have to check that out!"
"Oh… okay…" Finland and Iceland blushed and dropped the subject, but Denmark looked interested.
"Seriously? Do they…" he trailed off at a withering look from Finland.
The awkward silence returned.
After a few minutes of deafening silence, Korea spoke.
"Do you guys mind if I turn on the radio? This silence is getting really awkward."
Thank you, God thought every Nordic but Denmark, who throughout all these endeavors was still not entirely sure what was going on.
He switched the radio on. As he did, the entire car was flooded with sounds so loud that it's a wonder that all the nations in the car weren't completely deaf. They came close, though.
"SHIT! SORRY!" Korea screamed, adding to the already overwhelming noise.
"TURN IT DOWN!" yelled Finland, who was teetering on the edge of madness already.
"OH, YEAH! I FORGOT!"
This guy was starting to make Denmark look mildly intelligent.
He turned the radio down, and all the countries started to regain their hearing. Iceland, however, was having a little more trouble in that respect, and was still hearing things like they were coming from under water.
And, as fate was apparently having fun screwing the Nordics today, something happened.
Clarification?
Gangnam Style came on.
"Aw, man! This is my song!" Korea, of course knowing the entire song verbatim, started singing along.
"What?" said Iceland, who was still slightly deaf.
"Nothing, Ice. Just ignore it."
"What?"
"Never mind."
"What? Not to be a hypocrite, but you need to talk louder, Finland."
Sighing, Finland decided to give up on this battle. Which was a smart move, considering a new one was about to begin.
Because that's when Korea started dancing.
While driving.
Which is not entirely possible.
"Korea, what are you doing? You're going to crash!" Finland yelled, panic-stricken.
"AAAAAAAAAAAYY SEXY LADY!" sang the Asian nation, either ignoring Finland or not hearing him.
"Dude, we're going to crash! Seriously, this is going to be the second time today!" Denmark yelled, which was not that much louder than his normal volume.
Miraculously (for everyone's sake, we'll skip to the end of the song), the party stayed on course, mysteriously unscathed. Mentally, well, that's another matter, but it's the fact that they didn't crash that matters in this situation.
Everything was going well.
For about two minutes.
Because, you know, nothing good ever has to happen to these three today.
Korea drove in silence, after accepting that his song and dance routine had mentally scarred everyone in the car.
Until, of course, a squirrel ran into the road.
And, of course, Korea freaked out.
"AAAH! WHAT THE HELL!" he screamed, crazily swerving to the side. It seemed more like he was scared of the squirrel itself than of hitting it.
"IT'S JUST A SQUIRREL! CALM DOWN!" yelled Finland, almost as loudly.
The car tipped dangerously. "OHMYGOD, WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Korea exclaimed, abandoning all rational behavior and just screaming loudly.
"Seriously? How the hell are you afraid of squirrels? China eats them!" Denmark was not too scared to be an idiot, of course. A nuclear bomb wouldn't make a dent in his irritating personality.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective, his rant was interrupted by the car flipping over.
Of course that would happen. At this point, the Nordics weren't even shocked anymore.
Once everyone got out of the car, thanks to Finland's shrieks of "EVERYONE GET OUT OF THE CAR NOW!", there was an awkward silence that will forever go down in history as one of the most awkward silences in history, right after the time when Norway walked in on Denmark cuddling with his axe.
Iceland, surprisingly, was the one to break that silence.
"Um… I think we should walk the rest of the way."
"So, let me get this straight. You woke up, realized we were out of coffee, attempted to teach Finland to drive, got ticketed, Iceland, I'll deal with you later, almost crashed, begged some random person for money, got coffee, hitchhiked, almost crashed again, and walked the remaining five miles back here?" Norway was partially in shock and partially really, really impressed. But of course, since he was Norway, he didn't show it.
"Well, at least we got coffee! And let's be honest, Norway, how pissed off would you be if you couldn't have caffeine?" Iceland unsuccessfully tried to make his brother less angry than he already was. Unfortunately, "unsuccessfully" was the perfect adjective to describe his reasoning.
"I DON'T CARE! You all could've been killed!"
"So, what you're saying, Norge, is that you would've missed me if I had died!" Ah, there's nothing like an irritating Denmark to make an angry Norway even angrier.
"Idiot. If you had died because of your own stupidity then you would have deserved it."
"Aw, come on, Norge! You don't really mean that!"
Norway did not feel that that falsely incredulous statement deserved a response.
"Well, anyway, Norway, we're all safe now, and we do have coffee, so everything's all right, right?" Finland said, back to being cheerful probably because he was just happy to be alive.
"Hm. True. And you do have coffee, right?"
"Hell yeah! We got a ton, Norge!"
"Then where is it?"
"Good question…"
"Wait, did we leave it at…"
"Oh, shit."
"Iceland!"
"Sorry!"
All that can be said about that morning was that the events that happened only benefitted South Korea, who walked away from the crash (they were nations, after all) with five pounds of coffee.
Of course, he also had a totaled car, so it didn't really make up for anything.
Woot! It's done! My little baby is all grown up! *sniffle*
Yeah, maybe I'm not that sad, but oh, well.
So, this is my first fic, so tell me what you think! I know it is kind of crack, but I think crack is funny, just not so much that you can't understand what the hell the story's about.
This is my second-longest chapter (I think). 1,049 words, not counting this. Yay!
Sorry it took me so long to update, school is being a bit of a bitch lately. Fun with midterms! Plus, I'm a huge procrastinator.
So... yeah. I don't like to beg for reviews, but I notice that people that do usually get a lot more reviews. So, review please! If you do, Romano will dance to salsa music with the BTT!
(Yeah, not really. But I'd LOVE to see that...)
And (one more thing, I'll put you out of your misery soon, guys, I promise) I'm really sorry that I called Denmark an idiot, irritating, annoying, etc... so many times. I actually like Denmark (he's not my favorite, but he's funny), and I just did that because I needed to explain some of his behavior, and those adjectives seemed to fit in. Plus, he is kind of annoying.