Thank you to the best beta and friend in the universe. I adore you and couldn't do it without you. Like I said, you're my lobster.

Thank you to all you readers - with your support TWSL passed 1k reviews and to say I'm astounded is an understatement. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I'm on vacation so short notes this update! hahah (sunny Florida I can't wait!)

Chapter 16

Bella's POV

I wasn't going to wallow. I had guests that needed my attention and a lodge to run. Besides, it was my choice. My choice to send… the most thoughtful, intelligent, gentle, handsome man I'd ever known away.

I had trusted him… with my heart… my body. The sudsy water in the sink suddenly felt cool. I shook my head, desperately trying to erase those memories of Edward. He'd come here with one intention, to write a review of my lodge… my mother's lodge. My mother had never received a poor review, ever. Surely, his editor sent him while I was fresh, still learning my way. Of course, Edward got the behind the scenes tour, the VIP treatment, the… No. I wouldn't allow myself the hurt.

I began loading dishes into the dishwasher... a spoon he licked ice cream from, a mug he wrapped his lips around… I cringed thinking about the experiences I put him through the first few days of his stay… sobbing all over him, throwing myself at him, screaming in the middle of the night. Then there was Quil and the McCarty's.

Putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher, I leaned back against the counter, wrapping my arms around myself. I gazed around the kitchen that my mom had made hers, cooking and experimenting in, nourishing her guests. Her sole dedication made the lodge what it was. I could uphold that dream for her, without Edward Cullen, his fancy leather notebook, positive review, warm embrace, masterful long fingers, or his… No.

Oo~TWSL~oO

After plenty of hugs, kisses and a good natured smuggling attempt of Quil, Garrett and Alec departed. There were promises of emails and return visits.

The Newton's, who were honeymooning at the lodge spent the majority of their time in their suite. When they did appear, they ventured around the property, taking lazy walks and relaxing on the dock with mugs of hot cocoa. In an effort to busy my mind with thoughts and activities other than Edward, I decided to surprise my newlywed guests with some special photographs of their time there. I watched them quietly talking, holding hands and cuddling close. The intimate moments they shared were igniting my heart and painfully reminding me of the ones I had with Edward.

As the Newton's waved happily, driving away from the lodge, I beamed. I'd actually managed their entire stay on my own. However, the new silence in the lodge was difficult. I listened to his heartbreaking voice messages on a loop and read through his emails several times day. I knew I couldn't ignore his pleading forever, he simply wanted to talk. Tears stung my eyes as I imagined him alone, no heading to Chicago… with that damn leather notebook… No.

Oo~TWSL~oO

The next couple weeks were vacant and quiet. No reservations afforded me plenty of time to get my office organized and continue developing the new lodge website. I loved looking through the images my mom had saved for ideas, most were shot by me. This was one of the last projects she was working on before the accident. I was determined to complete it for her, and maybe add some guest testimonials. I considered the remote possibility of a decent review page also…

A knocking from the front hall interrupted me a few hours later. I wasn't expecting anyone; I warmed and quivered slightly at the thought of Edward standing on the other side of the door. I rushed to find myself face to face with Alice.

She pulled me into a tight hug, her small blossoming belly caught between us.

Her excited ramble began immediately. "Bella, are you ok? I talked to Edward and he said you haven't called him back and he was worried about you, so naturally I got worried about you…" Her words poured out of her mouth, as she examined me head to toe. She finally stepped back from me; her hands still firmly gripped my shoulders.

"Alice, what are you… why are you here?" I shook my head in confusion.

She released me, as I encouraged her into the Great Room to sit.

"Did he…"

"No Bella, he'd be pretty pissed if he knew I was here. He wanted to give you the space and time you asked for, but when he called last night he was still beating himself up over everything… as he should be!"

"So, you know what happened then?" I asked.

"I do, but he didn't go into a lot of detail. I told him he needed to talk to you, and I understand why you're upset, I truly do. I just wanted to come check on you since he headed back to Chicago. You do know he went back to Chicago, right?"

"Yeah, he left me a message saying he was going to go back." I paused, cautiously choosing my words. It was Edward's sister, after all. "I want to talk to him Alice; I'm just not sure what… I feel like we might have rushed into things. I trusted him. I really did, but now I'm not sure what to think."

She grasped my hand with hers "I get it Bella, but know this; Edward hasn't felt the way he does about anyone he's dated. I just wanted you to know that his feelings for you are real. This wasn't just a fling for him. We talked quite a bit before he went home. He's still planning on moving back to the area, you know. He's not going to give up on you."

Her fingers squeezed mine. "I don't want him to give up, and I know that's selfish of me to say when I'm not exactly making an effort. I truly do care about him, more than I can explain, but his actions really hurt me. I just need to sort that out and see if we can move forward from it."

"I get it, I do… you love him, and these things have a way of working themselves out," she stated confidently.

Love… I love him?… I love him.

Oo~TWSL~oO

I spent the rest of the week cleaning up and preparing for Halloween. Even though there would be no tricks or treats, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. When I went outside to sweep the leaves that had taken up residence on the porch, I was surprised to see my dad's truck rumbling down the gravel drive. As he parked I waved and hurried down the stairs to greet him.

"Hey Dad! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I couldn't just ignore our pumpkin carving tradition when you're this close," he said while pulling me in for a hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest, enjoying the warmth and security he provided. I didn't realize how much I'd been missing the little moments and words lately. Charlie was getting better at expressing these things with me since my mom passed. When I was young, we went all out for Halloween, skeletons, costumes and carving.

"Okay, I brought a few different sizes," he explained as he headed back to the truck bed. "I thought we might spend the day carving like we used to."

"I'd love to…"

After laying newspaper over the kitchen island, getting a bowl of water and my carving supplies… knives and spoons, we started in on our holiday tradition. Dad always tried to carve a face that eventually ended up more comical than frightening and I always went with funny features that looked terrifying. As we carried on with our creations, it was obvious by the way Charlie was glancing at me that he was anxious to interrogate.

"Dad, just ask whatever it is that you're dying to ask," I prodded and teased.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Bells."

"Come on… spill it."

He sighed loudly, as we simultaneously pulled off our pumpkin tops.

I waited patiently while I pushed my hand through the mush inside.

"Bells, I'm just worried about you out here all by yourself. Jake told me you and that guy were dating…you want to talk about that?"

My hand froze for a moment before continuing its chore. "You've been talking to Jake?"

"I do…we went fishing last weekend. He said he was kind of worried about you, he hadn't heard from you in a couple weeks. Then I show up here and you just look … sad. You want to tell me what's wrong?"

"It's a long story Dad, and one I'm sure you don't want all the details of." I finished scraping the inside of my pumpkin and handed the spoon to my dad. I dropped the mush inside the bowl of water. I planned to try the perfect pumpkin seed recipe.

"Bells, you can talk to me about this stuff you know. I know I'm just your dad, but I also know you don't have many friends around here yet and I want to be there for you… if I can be."

I paused, looking at him, while he concentrated on cleaning the inside of his pumpkin I realized that he really was concerned and did mean well.

I sat down the stool next to him and proceeded to tell him about Edward, our instant connection, and how he left. He listened quietly until I finished explaining and wiping the tears from my cheeks with my pumpkin gut stained hands.

"Listen Bella, I can see you obviously care a lot about this guy, and honestly, when I was here with you both, I saw it myself."

My eyes met his and I grimaced.

"What did you think you were getting something by me? I'm a police officer, trained to notice these things you know." He chuckled quietly. "You didn't get away with half as much as you thought you did as a kid just so you know."

"Dad," I whined .

"Listen, I heard what you said, but what I didn't hear you say is what you want to do about it. You found out that he omitted some vital information, but is it information that changes how you feel about him?"

"Well, no, but I just don't know what I want to do about it."

"Don't you think the first step would be to talk to him in person?" He suggested with raised eyebrows.

"I hate when you're right you know?"

He laughed. "I would expect that to be the case. But Bella, when all things are said and done, if you feel this strongly about him, don't let him get away. If you're happy, be willing to bend a little bit. Your mom and I were both stubborn fools and neither of us wanted to sacrifice anything and it's something I'll regret for the rest of my life." His last bit of advice was offered softly. I rested my head on his strong, sturdy shoulder while we sat quietly for a few minutes lost in our own memories.

With the finished works of Halloween art out on the porch, and my father's stomach filled with his favorite meal, I walked him to his truck to say goodnight.

"Thanks for coming out here Dad; I had a great time today."

"Bells, anytime you want my company you just call me up. I'm never too busy to spend some time with my baby girl."

As he climbed into this truck, he started the engine and rolled the window down.

"Just you remember what I said about that boy, you got it?" He said with a raised brow.

"I got it dad, I'll talk to him. I promise. Love you, and I'll call you next week, ok?"

"Love you too… and you better!"

I gave him one last kiss on the cheek and he headed down the drive.

Oo~TWSL~oO

The rest of the week was quiet; I booked two reservations for mid November and called Alice to touch base. I avoided the one thing I told my dad I'd do, but with Edward in Chicago, it wasn't likely that I'd see him anytime soon. I didn't know how long he was planning on staying there, or if he even truly still planned on moving back to Seattle. So, I did what anyone would do in the situation. I sent him an email.

I kept it simple, stating that I'd gotten his messages and that I wanted to talk. But what we needed to discuss should be done in person, not on the phone or via email. His response was almost immediate. He would be in Chicago for another week to wrap up some loose ends, but once he got back he would call me if that was alright. He added how much he missed my voice, my smile and everything else… including Quil. I couldn't help but smile.

After closing my email with somesadness in my head and heart, I headed out to collect the mail. Bills and nonsense layered over magazines filled the old metal box. I grabbed it all and shuffled through it as I walked back down the drive. Suddenly realizing the thick, glossy Adventure publication was glaring at me from beneath my utility bill. Edward. I paged furiously trying not to drop the other items in my hands. I blindly climbed the stairs as I discovered his column. Falling into the porch swing, I placed everything else on the ground. My finger traced his gorgeous picture that accompanied his review. Review! A review for The White Swan Lodge. My breath caught quick and tight in my throat as I read on…

The White Swan Lodge

As reviewed by Edward Cullen

Previously run by the late Renee Swan, the lodge is now in the capable, loving hands of her daughter, Isabella. On arrival you're welcomed by an exquisitely inviting wrap around porch, complete with a comfortable swing. It's a quiet place to appreciate and reflect for hours about the natural beauty surrounding you. The main floor of the lodge features a spacious great, albeit cozy room. The expansive Fieldstone fireplace provides a romantic backdrop to any activity. The suites are pleasantly decorated featuring the most incredible, mind blowing bed I've ever personally enjoyed.

There are trails to explore, small surprise clearings to picnic at amongst native wildflowers and trees. The visual backdrop is a photographers dream. The lodge is situated on a gorgeous private lake and canoes are available for use by the guests. A perfect activity if you're craving uninhibited afternoon delight. Which brings me to the dock, quite possibly my favorite location on the property. The large wood planked dock provides a peaceful place to escape and be inspired.

The food prepared by the lodge proprietor will ignite your senses. Delicious, succulent meals are offered throughout the day and evening, lunch being the best.

It's quite possible to leave a little disappointed, but only because you must return to a life and routine void of the rare beauty and solitude you've just experienced. A stay at the White Swan Lodge could very well be a life altering event, it's just that special.

Cons: The frosting on the chocolate cake is little too mouthwatering sweet.

Pros: Attentive staff that offers kind and pleasant service twenty four hours a day.

I gasped… he did not write this review. He couldn't have. I read through it again, and once more noticing every single cheeky comment. Every inside tease and sentence was like a secret message. The innuendo and dual meaning naughtiness had me roaring and hot. The great room, the dock…lunch, oh my!

Snatching up the rest of the mail I dashed into the office, and grabbed the phone. Then hung it up, bit my lip, then picked it up again. Calling information for the number I desperately needed took a lifetime…

"Hi, yes…I need to be on your first available flight from Seattle to Chicago please."

A/N

What do you think? Did you love the review? Let me know!

Just a short note this week –

To those of you who review and encourage me with every chapter of this I want to say thank you. I wish I could list every single name here, but there are so many of you it would be a long long A/N – just know that I appreciate every single one of you. Thank you for taking the time to read and review and support and critique. I appreciate it all more than I can tell you. XOXO

I'm going to be hosting the readalong for the Wayward Pushers. The story is a personal favorite The Companion by samrosey - it will be on Thursday February 17th at 8pm CST and I hope you will join in.

A few recs this week...

Puddle Jumping - everyone should be reading this - it's written wonderfully by 107yroldvirgin www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6598600/1/Puddle_Jumping

Love is the End by my lovely friend phoebespromise - must must must read www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6445022/1/

Phoebespromise and I are also submitting the 2nd chapter for Willow to the FGB Autism compilation so make sure you go donate- there are tons of wonderful authors signed up and your donation gets you all the stories! Think Vetward! :)

ummm I think that's it for me this week - I'll be in warm, sunny Florida after this posts so I hope you all have a great week - sorry for the delay in updating I appreciate all the patience you lovely people have for me.

check out the blog at www (dot) jaimearkin (dot) blogspot (dot) com

xo

jaime