A/N: Lovelies! Short chapter is short, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. MWAH. Much love to you.

Edward hadn't really slept for a long, long time.

There were the weeks on end he spent at the hospital, unable to fathom leaving Jasper's side. And now... Now he was relegated to the guest bedroom while the man he loved slept alone in the bedroom they once shared.

It was hard to sleep without him.

The night was long and too quiet. In spite of his every effort not to, Edward slipped into his memories.

~0~

It was the night before Jasper left for his trip with Emmett.

Well, really, it was the very early morning when Edward stirred, coming out of a restless sleep with a moan.

Something felt good. Really good.

Hot breath on his shoulder, warm lips, slow kisses to his bare skin.

"Jasper," he murmured, a little disoriented.

A hand stroked his chest, a thumb circling his nipple.

"I'm asleep," he muttered, turning onto his back, opening his eyes slowly.

Jasper lowered his head, capturing his lips for a long, slow, too-convincing kiss. Edward sighed, raising his hands, threading his fingers in Jasper's hair. He felt the blond man's smirk against his lips.

Edward pulled back slightly. "It's late. Some of us have to work tomorrow."

"It's early," Jasper corrected with a small sigh, running the tip of his nose up and down Edward's neck. "And you don't have to work. You own the place, Edward. Being the owner means you're allowed to come in late if you want to." He kissed his chin. "And I'm going to miss you." He kissed his nose.

"It's just one night, right?" Edward asked, his voice not as steady as he'd like. He wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him close.

Jasper kissed him again, a serious kiss. "It's going to be a long night. It always is without you."

Edward's throat closed so he couldn't speak for a moment. But there was no need to speak out loud when actions would suffice. They spoke the lover's language - mouth to mouth, skin to skin, moans and sighs.

There was the snap of the lube, and Jasper's hands were between them. Edward helped, moving his hand to wrap around his lover's length, spreading the slickness, making him hard. He swallowed Jasper's soft moan and spread his legs welcomingly. Jasper straddled him and slipped inside him easily.

Their lovemaking wasn't the hurried, fervent thing it could be. It was slow, easy, more concentrated on the intensity of their kisses than the other ways their bodies were connected. Edward lost himself in the feel of Jasper's tongue twining with his as he moved inside him. Their hands were clasped above Edward's head.

They only broke their kisses when their moans got too loud to contain. Jasper picked up the pace, and Edward bucked his hips up to meet his thrusts. He threw his head back against the pillow, panting Jasper's name.

For a minute after they were both sated, Jasper lay on top of Edward. It was a warm, welcome weight, and Edward closed his eyes, holding the other man to him.

"Hey." Jasper pushed up onto his elbows, carefully cupping Edward's cheek. "Are you okay?"

Edward blew out a short breath. "Yeah."

Jasper studied him for a moment, obviously picking up on the lie. "Are you mad at me for leaving?"

"Of course not." They both had their own separate hobbies, and that was fine. He tried for a small smile. "You know I wouldn't be me if I didn't worry."

"That's very true," Jasper murmured, snorting lightly. He leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss to Edward's forehead. "I'm going to be fine, darl. This is nothing, you hear?" He watched Edward for a moment and growled. "I knew we shouldn't have seen that movie - with the guy who cuts off his own arm?"

"Gah!" Edward gasped, having not even thought about that. "Thank you. Now I'm just going to picture you pinned under a rock for days on end."

Jasper screwed up his lips at one side of his mouth. "That's not going to happen to me. First of all, my multitool is much sharper."

"Not funny," Edward growled.

"And that guy was out alone. I'll be with Emmett," Jasper concluded. "Safety in numbers, remember?"

Edward closed his eyes briefly, trying to will away the unreasonable fear that rose in him. This wasn't even close to the most dangerous thing Jasper had done, but the trepidation was building in Edward's gut. He nodded, clinging to Jasper for only a moment more before he let him go.

"Now go back to sleep. I'll be home before you know it."

"Okay." He was sleepy. It was still very early.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

There was the brush of Jasper's lips against his. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

~0~

Edward pressed his knuckles hard to his lips, struggling with the emotion that welled in him.

A person should know the last time he made love to his man, the last time he would get to kiss him.

Restless, angry, frustrated, and heartbroken, Edward couldn't stay in bed. He conceded the point that he would be able to sleep tonight and got up, rubbing his eyes tiredly, scrubbing away the tears that threatened.

More to distract himself than anything else, Edward decided to head downstairs for a drink of water. He shouldn't have been surprised to find the light already on.

Stepping softly past Lucy on the couch, Edward peered into the kitchen. Sure enough, Jasper was sitting at the table, his hands around a cup of what smelled like hot chocolate that he hadn't touched. He was grinding his jaw.

Edward couldn't help himself. When Jasper didn't stop or seem to notice him standing there, he touched the other man's cheek.

Jasper pulled back, blinking, looking slightly annoyed.

"Sorry," Edward murmured automatically. "You're just going to grind your teeth down to nothing." He studied Jasper carefully for a moment. "You looked agitated."

"I'm just..." Jasper huffed, his shoulders rising and falling sharply once. "I've never had a cock in my mouth. Never."

For a long second, Edward just stared. Then he laughed. He couldn't help it. "I'm sorry. That was rude," he said between titters.

Jasper looked sheepish but still questioning.

Edward raised an eyebrow. He gestured at Jasper's chin. "You have an oral fixation," was all he said.

"Yeah." Jasper ruffled his hair a little restlessly. "I guess that was a stupid thought."

"It's a lot to get used to." He wondered if Jasper would find it a consolation if he knew he was good at it - damn good.

Jasper stared into his cup. "There's something I'm missing," he said gruffly after a moment. He spoke the next words haltingly. "If I pursued you, I sincerely doubt you were my first. I mean, my first man."

Edward's blood ran a little cold, dread pooling in the pit of his stomach. He definitely didn't like where this was going. "No. I wasn't," he said flatly.

The cautious look on Jasper's face told Edward that he'd picked up on his defensiveness. He chose his next words carefully. "I'm just trying to fill in all the blanks. I thought, maybe, retracing my steps..." When Edward said nothing, he went on. "How many between... Peter and you?" He stumbled over the other man's name, his eyes tightening at the corners. He was still in a lot of pain over Peter's death.

Closing his eyes, Edward tried to remind himself Jasper was just trying to put together all the pieces. Just like their relationship hung in the balance - Jasper didn't owe it to him to find a way to love him again - it didn't mean he was going to fall into the same arms he had years before.

He took a deep breath. "There were two men. Only one was... significant." These were very difficult words to say. Edward's throat was tight, and he clenched his hands into fists underneath the table. "I don't know the name of the middle one." His eyes flicked to Jasper's and away. "I'm not sure you do either - it was just one of those nights. But the first... His name is Garrett Larson."

~0~

"Are you insane? Have you utterly lost your mind?"

Feeling exhausted and defeated, Edward slumped in his seat as he stared at his friends, Benjamin and Tia Amun. "What was I supposed to do, lie?" he asked tiredly.

Benjamin looked severely irritated. "I've been sitting back, going along with you on this whole giving him space idea. I get it. The boy is confused. That's understandable. But no. No more. I'm done with that course of action."

"What are you talking about?"

His friend leaned over, his elbows on his knees, to give Edward a hard look. "You have to fight, Edward. You fight for your man."

Sitting back in his seat, Edward stared up at the ceiling rather than look at them anymore. He couldn't take Benjamin's exasperation and Tia's cool sympathy. "Fight," he muttered. "How am I supposed to fight this?"

"I'll tell you how you don't fight it. You don't send him straight into the arms of another man."

"So he spends a little time with his ex. In case you haven't noticed, I'm spending a little time with my ex as we speak," Edward pointed out.

"Don't give me that crap. It's different with you and me. Jasper's ex is a man who, last time I checked, was more than willing to seduce him despite the fact he was, at the time, happily committed to you! One who, in case you didn't remember, has already successfully seduced him right out of the closet once!"

"Enough!" Edward bristled. His heart just hurt, and he desperately wanted to punch something. "You think I wanted to tell him about Garrett? But he was right. Someone knew how to help him through all the confusing things. Just talking to him isn't-"

"Oh my God," Benjamin mumbled, slapping his hand over his eyes.

"Maybe that's what he wants, deep down," Tia spoke up, patting Benjamin's arm. She looked to Edward. "I mean, you and Jasper have been together since you were nineteen. That's really young to be tied to a man with a baby. You got serious so fast, maybe, subconsciously, you want a little freedom."

"No!" The word was a growl. "No, that is not what I want. I just..." He ran his hands through his hair, irritable and restless and helpless. "I don't know how to deal with him right now. His... cockyness is gone. He's not at all confident about who he is, and that's not my Jasper. You know Jasper - he walks like he's ten feet tall. Right now, he's just so..." Edward shook his head. "I don't know what to do with that. I never did."

"Bitch, do you understand the meaning of the word fight?" Benjamin raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "Life - it isn't supposed to be a cakewalk. You can't deal with a Jasper who isn't confident, maybe you didn't deserve him in the first place."

That stung like a slap to Edward's face, and he hung his head. "I don't have any patience for this kind of thing, though. You do recall why we broke up, don't you?"

"Because I still had one foot in the closet," Benjamin said cooly. "Of course I remember. It was a deal breaker and rightfully so... When you were eighteen.

"You're not the same man you were when you and I were together," Benjamin continued. "This is your Jasper. This is your family we're talking about. Are you going to let him slip through your fingers because you don't want to be the one who pursues him, who helps him figure out it's not only okay to love another man, but it's so damn good?"

Edward didn't answer. He was staring off, rubbing his hand over his chin, conflicted.

"Because if you think Garrett won't take advantage of Jasper's confusion, you're deluding yourself. You gave him the benefit of the doubt once, remember?"

"Of course I remember," Edward growled, his fists flexing.

"And what did he do? He tried to get Jasper back. He'll do it again, only this time Jasper doesn't know what he stands to lose with you. And like you said, Jasper doesn't have his usual swagger, his natural defenses against that kind of bullshit. Garrett is going to fight for him, and he probably isn't going to have to fight very hard."

Benjamin - dramatic mother fucker that he was - leaned all the way forward, his hands on the coffee table in between them. "So. Are you going to do something or what?"

Edward chewed on the inside of his cheek, his thoughts chaotic - angry and afraid.

Then he sat up straight and nodded. "Yes," he said decisively.

A/N: Yay Benjamin!

Thank you to barburella, jfka06, and JessyPT.

Soooo how do you think Edward intends to fight?