By the time they arrived back at Arkham, the combined creativity of Joker, Harley, Ivy, and Two-Face had expanded Batty B into a whole song with multiple verses insulting Batman's social skills, sexual prowess, and the size of his manhood. Batman was subjected to repeat renditions of it up until the moment they were dragged off to their separate cells. Despite his annoyance, he was pleased that they were focusing their energies on something harmless for a change, and before he left, encouraged the doctors to support Harley's desire to stage a musical.
And so, after a strangely calm and peaceful couple of weeks, Batman returned to Arkham Asylum to attend the opening night of the inmates' production of Grease.
"It is almost miraculous what a change has come over the lot of them," said the head doctor to him as they took their seats in the front row. "Normally there's squabbling and rivalry and in-fighting, but they've just all been so focused on this production that they haven't had time for anything else. Well, except when Mr. Nygma questioned the casting decision of the Joker as someone who had just turned eighteen, and whom the Joker later beat into a pulp. He and Quinn are directing, as well as starring, and they were the most tyrannical directors you have ever seen. Overrunnig rehearsals and practicing until all hours, going over and over the same things to perfect all the tiny little details. But I suppose it's not surprising they're perfectionists."
"It's been a welcome break for me," replied Batman. "I'm just glad they seem able to put their theatricality to good use for once."
"It was looking very impressive the last rehearsal I saw," replied the doctor. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."
At that moment, the lights lowered and Harley appeared on stage, clearing her throat, "Ladies and gents, thanks for coming tonight. It's great to see so many friendly faces in the audience," she said, beaming at the packed theatre. "I just couldn't be prouder to present Arkham Asylum's Grease. A Harley Quinn and Joker production."
"Hey! We agreed we were calling it a Joker and Harley Quinn production!" shouted Joker from backstage.
"I didn't agree to that!" snapped Harley. "It should be in alphabetical order, like I told you a thousand times, you dumb jerk!"
"It's a Joker and Harley Quinn production, so just say it right, you useless dame!" he shouted. "You're lucky I'm giving you any goddamn credit at all!"
"The hell I am!" she shrieked. "I put a lot more heart and soul into this than you, you selfish creep!"
Joker appeared on stage, clapping his hand over Harley's mouth and dragging her off. "Enjoy the Joker and Harley Quinn production, folks!" he said, beaming at the audience.
"Harley Quinn and Joker production!" shouted Harley, freeing her mouth just before she was dragged offstage.
There was the sound of a slap and a shriek, and the doctor leaned over. "Those little fall-outs were a fairly regularly occurance," he muttered to Batman.
"Somehow I'm not surprised," replied Batman, as the lights fell and the music started.
Batman wasn't in the habit of attending the theatre regularly. He was not, despite Joker's insistance, a musical fan. But he had to admit to himself, he was incredibly impressed at the skill, effort, and production values the inmates had put into the show. It was certainly professional quality, and everyone performed their parts to perfection. He had to commend everything about it, really, despite how disturbing he found Joker in tight leather. Batman thought he thrusted his hips at him more than was strictly necessary during Greased Lightning, which didn't seem completely in character. But Harley's Hopelessly Devoted to You was truly heartfelt and heartbreaking. Ivy sang Sandra Dee with just the right amount of sassyness, and with the original, restored lyrics, much to his relief. And Joker and Harley's You're the One That I Want was received with the same level of applause and enthusiasm as it was in Brazil.
It was only after this that Batman realized something was amiss. He hadn't seen Grease in years, but he was pretty sure it ended with another upbeat song celebrating the nostalgia of youth. He was stunned then, along with everyone else in the audience, when a real helicopter suddenly burst through the roof of the asylum.
Harley shrieked, still in character, clutching Joker tightly. "What's that, Danny?" she cried over the noise.
"It's the Soviet Invasion, Sandy!" shouted Joker. "McCarthy was right! We're under attack by Communists! What a terrible and completely unexpected thing to happen at our graduation! But don't worry, baby, I won't let them take us down!"
Everyone watched in horror as they realized there were people in the helicopter, Arkham guards who had been kidnapped and tied up with their firearms, and whom Jonathan Crane now pushed from the chopper. Joker seized one of their machine guns, cocking it with Harley clinging to his arm. "Eat American lead, you Commie bastards!" he shouted. "A wop ba-ba lu-mop, a wop bam boom!"
We Go Together started playing at this cue, and while still performing the song, the other inmates all grabbed weapons from the fallen guards and began shooting up the audience. Batman was the first to react, leaping out of the way of the machine gun fire as people began to scream and panic as the inmates continued singing, choreographing the gunfire into the song. Batman reached into his utility belt for a Batarang or a smoke grenade, something to stop the chaos. Joker suddenly jumped off the stage and landed in front of him.
"A wop ba-ba lu-mop," he murmured, pointing the gun at him.
"A wop bam boom!" shouted Harley, striking Batman from behind with her hammer.
He fell backward, and Joker seized him and tied him to a chair with Harley's help, still singing. The rest of the inmates piled into the helicopter, continuing the song, as Joker and Harley joined them. The chopper rose into the air, and they all waved and blew kisses at Batman as they repeated the refrain "We'll always be together!"
"Sorry you can't give us the standing ovation we deserve, Batsy!" shouted Joker over the noise. "But there's no chance of an encore anyway!" He laughed hysterically as the singing faded into the distance. Batman watched helplessly, the mocking song and laughter ringing in his ears, as the helicopter disappeared from sight into the night sky.