"Gotta hand it to ya, kid, breaking the fourth wall was a great idea!" laughed Joker. Harley was leaning adoringly against him, sipping champagne and standing in a corner chatting with Ivy, Two-Face, and Crane. Everyone around them was celebrating the cast party at an abandoned lounge at the top floor of a block of apartments. "Thought it might have been a bit too meta for a light-hearted musical, but pumpkin knows best!" he said, kissing her.
"That's why mine's the first name in Harley Quinn and Joker Productions," replied Harley, beaming happily.
"No, it ain't," he retorted. "It's Joker and Harley Quinn Productions. I'm the one who thought of changing the ending, remember?"
"Yeah, but Harley was the one who thought of putting on the show," said Ivy. "I'm actually surprised you didn't think of it earlier, J. Breaking out to a musical – it was a great gag."
"It was, Red, thanks," retorted Harley, proudly. "And it was a lot of fun too, wasn't it, Mr. J?"
Joker shrugged. "I guess. I'm never wearing anything that tight ever again, though."
"That's a relief," replied Ivy. "Though I can certainly see why Harley was so impressed at seeing Harvey naked."
"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Joker.
"Aw, she's just trying to rile you up, puddin'," replied Harley, kissing him. "Cause she's jealous that my man is bigger than hers."
"At least we can both agree that we're not Batty B," said Two-Face, grinning. Everyone laughed.
"I wonder what the next musical should be for Harley Quinn and Joker productions," said Harley, sipping her champagne.
"Maybe Joker and Harley Quinn Productions should disband," retorted Joker. "We wouldn't want the joke to get old, sweets. And it probably would, with a repeat performance."
"Aw, but Mr. J, there are just so many fun shows we could do!" exclaimed Harley. "I'm thinking Chicago – Red and me could pull of Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart really well. Oooh, and you could be Mister Cellophane, Professor Crane!" she exclaimed.
"I suppose I'll take that as a compliment," replied Crane, dryly.
"Or maybe Little Shop of Horrors? You would be such a hot dentist, Mr. J! And Professor Crane could be Seymour, 'cause he's kinda cute and nerdy just like him."
"Again, thank you," muttered Crane. "I suppose."
"Or how about Guys and Dolls? You'd just be the cutest Sky Masterson, puddin'! Oooh, or The Rocky Horror Show…"
Joker took her glass from her. "That's enough champagne for you, pooh," he said, firmly.
"I could certainly use another glass," said Ivy, heading towards the bar.
"I can get you one, Pamela," offered Two-Face.
She turned and beamed at him. "No, thanks, Harvey. But don't go anywhere," she murmured, blowing him a kiss.
Ivy ended up drinking a lot more than she probably should have, but it was a party, after all. By the end of the night, she had suitably embarrassed herself on the dance floor, and had literally gone around kissing everyone there. Except Joker. There was a moment after she had snogged Crane that she seized Joker by the collar and dragged him towards her, but after a moment's hesitation on both their parts, they simultaneously muttered, "No," and drew away from each other.
So Ivy grabbed Harley instead and kissed her. To her surprise, Harley seized her face and returned it passionately. Two-Face snapped a photo. "That's going up on the internet," he murmured, grinning.
"Harley…" gasped Joker when she drew away.
"Aw, c'mon, Mr. J, it's just a theatre thing – everyone's doing it," replied Harley. "Anyway, I ain't never kissed a girl before. Not very nice, actually," she said, making a face. "No offense, Red."
"It's fine – it was a little awkward for me too," replied Ivy. "Harvey, you are gonna delete that photo, aren't you? I don't want people getting the wrong impression about me."
"Yeah, sure, Pam, already done it," replied Two-Face, casually.
"Anyway, nobody kisses like you, puddin'," she breathed, leaning in to Joker.
He stopped her inches from his mouth. "That's not something nice girls do, Harley," he whispered. "You've been a very naughty girl. And you know what Daddy does to very naughty girls, don't you? Daddy punishes them."
"Oh, Mr. J," she breathed, gazing at him in adoration.
"I brought the whoopie cushion, sweets," he murmured, reaching into his pocket.
Harley shrieked in delight, clapping her hands in excitement. "Then what are we waiting for?! C'mon, puddin'! It's revving time! See you mooks later! And great job – you did Harley Quinn and Joker Productions proud!"
"Joker and Harley Quinn Productions, you dumb blonde, or no whoopie cushion," retorted Joker, as they headed out the door.
"You can't blackmail me like that, you bastard!" she snapped.
"I just did – you deaf and stupid?" he snapped back.
Ivy heard them arguing down the hall. She shook her head, smiling, and kissed Two-Face. "Just gonna get some air, Harvey," she whispered.
"I ain't going anywhere," he replied. She beamed at him, kissed him again, and headed out onto the balcony.
She saw Joker and Harley still arguing as they got into his car, then watched as he hit her, quickly escalating into a full scale fight, and ending with Harley screaming "Oh, Mr. J! Vroom, vroom, puddin'!" as the car rocked.
Ivy shook her head again, but couldn't help smiling. They were as dependable as clockwork. In a way, it was comforting. She looked out at the view of Gotham City by moonlight and smiled at its beauty. Different to the Rainforest, obviously, but still gorgeous. If all had gone according to plan, Ivy would now be spending her last few days of vacation in Brazil. As far as diversions went, she thought, this was an incredibly pleasant one. She had had a lot of fun putting on the show, probably more fun than she would have had relaxing on the beach. She preferred being busy, actually. She didn't really know what to do with herself when she wasn't occupied. This had kinda been the perfect vacation, when she thought about it. She and Harvey were enjoying their limited time together – she knew they wouldn't last, but that wasn't important right now. This was a great party, and she was surrounded by all her friends. And despite how annoying they could all be sometimes, they always made life interesting. They even, occasionally, made it fun.