A/N: Ah, I love you guys. So much here's another chapter. MWAH.

Jasper had been turning the little piece of notebook paper with Garrett Larson's name and number over and over in his hands.

"Whatcha got there, big brother?" Lucy asked, coming into the living room.

He was about to answer but was quickly distracted by Lucy's state. "Where are you going?"

She gave him a pointed look. "Out."

"What do you mean 'out'? You're going out in a strange city? Looking like that? And with who?"

"Don't go all big brother on me," she said warily. "I'm just going out. It's about time I network - find some friends of my own."

"She'll be fine," Edward said, appearing out of nowhere.

Jasper glanced at him.

And then he did a double take, his throat abruptly going dry.

It wasn't as though he hadn't acknowledged Edward was attractive before. Anyone with eyes could see the man was built just right. He had these features that individually shouldn't have been attractive, but put together...

Well, he was a good looking man.

But tonight, there was just something different about him, something that made Jasper take notice.

Maybe it was the way the simple black shirt he wore showed off a musculature Jasper hadn't noticed before. Edward was turned toward Lucy, so his back and shoulders were on display and clearly defined under the fabric. And why that sight was alluring Jasper couldn't quite say, but it definitely caught his attention.

Or perhaps it was his jeans. Those jeans that hugged him in just the right places and yet hung low on his hips, almost beckoning Jasper to hook his finger through the loops and pull - pull Edward toward him or just take a little peek...

Jasper shook his head hard, trying to dispel the odd notion that had just come over him.

At Bella's party some weeks before, he'd felt a spark, an attraction that went deeper than a mere physical once over. There was a certain tug at his heart, a fondness he felt occasionally. This was different. There was heat behind it. Want.

But want of what?

And why was it so strong in that moment?

There was a difference in his face, his stance tonight, Jasper realized. All these weeks, Edward had exuded an ache, a longing that made Jasper feel guilty and uncomfortable. He knew what the other man was doing couldn't be easy - it wasn't easy for Jasper to watch Alice and not be able to kiss her, hug her, so he had some idea. And for Edward, it had to be so much worse. He carried his pain in the set of his shoulders, the tightness around his eyes, the furrow of his brow... even his hair seemed to droop.

Tonight, though, he just seemed... lighter.

There was a confidence to his stance; he held his head up proudly. An easy smile played at his lips. His hair was casually rumpled, and Jasper found himself just dying to run his fingers through it.

What the fuck was that?

Edward quirked an eyebrow at him.

Jasper cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. What did you say?" He was befuddled and confused.

"I said, I'm lending Lucy my car so she won't have a problem getting around. The clubs around the university are fine." He leaned in, his tone suddenly conspiratorial. "We had our first date in one of those clubs, and we didn't get into too much trouble."

For some reason, the tone of his voice, his nearness, sent shivers down Jasper's spine. Typically, whenever Edward brought up something from their shared past, he was sad and almost apologetic. The way he spoke now it was as if he knew he had a secret, a juicy secret he would tell if Jasper just leaned in closer and let him whisper in his ear.

Jasper took an unconscious step backward.

"Okay, um." He looked over at his sister, giving her a quick squeeze around the waist before he sunk down on one end of the couch, his legs hurting from standing in place too long. "Just be careful, huh?"

Lucy brightened. "Of course. You guys have fun without me tonight!" she called brightly.

The front door slamming made Jasper jump a little. The atmosphere in general was making him jumpy. It was a weird awareness on his skin - a static electricity.

He was almost afraid to look up at Edward.

"So," Edward said, and again Jasper's body jolted slightly at the noise. "I had a thought."

"Did you?"

"The Avengers just came out on Blu-Ray last week," Edward said, sitting on his end of the couch. Rather than the typical, somewhat defensive posture he sat with, today he draped one arm over the back of the couch - his pose easy and open. He gave Jasper a little smile, a curve at one corner of his mouth as he looked up from underneath his eyelashes. "Trust me on this. You loved The Avengers. You made me see it three times, and I know you and Emmett went more than once. But the problem is, you really want to see the whole saga."

Jasper arched an eyebrow. "There's a saga?"

"Mmhmm." Edward held his hand up, ticking off on his fingers. "You have Thor - my favorite. Chris Hemsworth. The man is delicious. Long blond hair. Pretty face." Edward's eyes lingered on Jasper, making his breath catch in his throat. "Just my type. Captain America. Two Iron Man films." He tilted his head. "Your favorite," he filled in with a wink. "Robert Downey Jr. I can't disapprove. And then you can see The Avengers. Joss Whedon. Joss is Boss."

Jasper brightened because he actually did know who Joss Whedon was.

"So, I was thinking we could order in some Chinese food and get started. What do you think?" Edward finished.

Feeling unreasonably flummoxed by what should have been a simple question, Jasper stumbled a bit as he answered. "I, um... Yeah. Sure."

Edward's smile spread across his whole face then, and Jasper was suddenly glad he was sitting. "Good."

~0~

It was a good night.

Edward started them on the first Iron Man.It was a good ice breaker. Laughing at Tony's quips was an effective way to dispel the nervousness Jasper felt.

For once, the conversation between them was easy. Edward pointed out little easter eggs and they talked about the differences between the comics and the movie adaptation.

When Jasper slid to the floor to stretch out his legs, Edward lay down on the couch, his head very near Jasper's now. Jasper shouldn't have been surprised. All night long, Edward had been... different.

He would reach his hand across the couch, tapping Jasper's arm to get his attention, leaning into the space between them.

Holding Jasper's gaze as he spoke.

Letting his eyes drift up and down Jasper's form.

When he did that, Jasper was suddenly very aware of the scars that now littered his face.

But the appreciative look in Edward's eyes didn't lessen.

Now, though, Edward's breaths had evened out. Jasper knew he was asleep.

He tried to concentrate on the movie, but he was distracted... distracted by the feel of Edward's hot puffs of breath on his neck.

"Jasper," Edward sighed, still asleep.

Dreaming of him.

Of course, Jasper thought, it was natural. He had these memories - memories that were his alone now - of a life that was barred to him. It was on his mind. It was natural that even as he slept, his thoughts spun on.

"Baby," Edward murmured, shifting so his hands were above his head.

Jasper was staring now.

Edward looked so peaceful. His lips were slightly pouted, moving.

As if he were kissing Jasper in his sleep.

There was a lump in Jasper's throat. He didn't realize he was turning away from the television, from the movie, until he was completely twisted around, watching Edward instead of the movie.

Staring at the other man's face.

At his lips.

Jasper reached out with a trembling hand, needing, wanting to know what Edward's lips felt like, on his fingertips if nothing else. His fingers hovered, and then grazed skin.

Edward's lips. His cheeks. The bridge of his nose.

When Edward's hands came down, resting gently on the blond man's shoulders, Jasper gave a little start, but he still didn't move. Edward was still asleep, his movements purely instinctual.

He was so close to Edward's face. So close. He was captivated. He wasn't thinking at all. His heart was racing, his blood pumping with a mixture of fear.

And want.

Edward's hand cupped the back of his head, tugging.

A second later, their lips touched.

It was a delicate brush at first. Edward sighed, and the warmth of his breath made Jasper pleasantly dizzy.

Edward's fingers stroked his neck, his kiss becoming firmer, seeking more.

Jasper closed his eyes, shivering with the emotion the rocked his body, reveling in the feel.

When Edward's tongue swept across Jasper's bottom lip, the thoughts that had escaped him for that prolonged minute were on him in a heartbeat. He reached up and shoved Edward back. Hard.

Edward woke with a start, blinking, obviously confused.

"What the fuck do you think gives you the right to do something like that?" Jasper yelled, panicked, struggling to get to his feet.

Edward was quick to sit up. The confident, somewhat flirty man he'd been all evening was gone. The uncertain, sad, slightly tortured man was back. "I'm sorry. What did I..." He swallowed hard. "Did I... I didn't mean..."

He blew out a breath and tried to help Jasper up.

Jasper pushed him away. "Don't touch me." He pulled himself to his feet, leaning heavily on the arm of the couch.

"I won't," Edward assured, his hands up.

For a long second, the two men stared at each other. Jasper knew he was being tremendously unfair, but his head was spinning.

The key in the door broke the horribly heavy air between them. They both jumped.

Jasper took the opportunity to hobble off to the safety of his room.

~0~

Edward sat on the edge of the bed in the guest room, distraught. He leaned his elbows on his knees and slumped forward, gripping his hair in his fists and tugging. Tightly.

He felt foolish and guilty. Why had he thought this was a good idea? It was so unfair of him to manipulate Jasper like that when he wasn't ready. It was a selfish thing to do.

And he also felt confused.

He knew he'd fallen asleep and as he slept, he dreamed. From Jasper's reaction - and his nearness when he'd awaken - Edward understood he must have acted on his dreams and kissed the other man.

But... why had Jasper been close enough to kiss?

A clatter in the hallway drew his attention. It was followed by a breathless, definitely masculine, "Fuck!"

Edward hurried to the door. Sure enough, he found Jasper on the floor at the top of the stairs. His skin was near bone white and covered by a sheen of sweat. Quickly, Edward darted to him. He bent automatically to get his arms around him but pulled back when Jasper glared.

"Let me help you up," Edward said quietly, a gentle but firm command.

Breathless and obviously in pain, Jasper nodded once - a jerk of his head. Edward bent down again, putting his arm around Jasper's waist as the blond man looped his arms around his neck. Together, they got Jasper upright again.

Edward lingered until Jasper was more steady, propped with one hand against the wall. Then he took a step away, giving Jasper space.

"What were you thinking?" Edward said, a little exasperated. Fear lingered just under his skin. His heart had about leapt out of his throat when he saw Jasper toppled like that. "You could have fallen down the stairs."

"I made it," Jasper mumbled irritably.

"What are you doing up here, anyway? What did you need?" He ached to push a strand of Jasper's sweat-slicked hair away from his face, but somehow he resisted.

Leaning heavily on the wall, trying to catch his breath, it took Jasper a few seconds to answer. He glanced up, his expression furtive and nervous. "I had to come up here." He breathed in deep. "To apologize."

Edward rubbed the back of his neck, self-conscious. "No. I should apologize. I didn't mean-"

He cut off when Jasper held his hand up in a stopping motion. "Just let me talk, okay?" He swallowed hard, still looking sallow and tired.

"Why don't you come sit down?" Edward said, aching just watching him try to stay upright.

"Yeah." Jasper said with a sigh. "That's probably a good idea."

To Edward's surprise, Jasper reached for him automatically, steadying himself with his hand on his arm. Together, they made their way slowly down the hallway, into Edward's room. Jasper was so exhausted by the effort, he actually laid down on the bed, his eyes closed as he caught his breath.

Finding a blank piece of wall, Edward slid down to the floor, his eyes intent on Jasper as a memory came to him.

It had been a long night. Inventory at the music store Edward owned. He came home ready to fall in bed, looking forward to a good cuddle as he fell asleep.

Except his bed was empty.

Frowning, Edward picked up the note that lay on the cold sheets.

Apparently, Jasper had come down with a rather bad cold and had sequestered himself in the guest room upstairs, warning Edward to stay away lest he get sick.

"Not likely, love," Edward muttered out loud.

Knowing Jasper well enough, Edward could guess he'd merely tucked himself in bed. So he made a cup of thera-flu tea, grabbed the Tylenol and headed upstairs.

Jasper looked horrible. His face was so pale, the skin a sickly grey color. When Edward touched his forehead, he found his skin clammy and super hot to the touch.

Sitting on the bed, Edward stroked Jasper's sweaty hair back. "Wake up," he encouraged, running his fingers through the other man's hair as Jasper groaned and coughed. "Come on. Sit up a little."

"Ugh," Jasper grumbled, opening his eyes slowly. "Go 'way."

"Don't be such a baby," Edward chided lightly. "You need medicine, Jasper."

His lover grumbled, burrowing under the blankets further.

"You're worse than Bella," Edward said with a chuckle.

Eventually, Edward roused Jasper enough to swallow down the tylenol for his aches and a few gulps of tea. He sat with his back against the headboard and Jasper's head in his lap, lulling him back to sleep.

"You shouldn't be up here," Jasper mumbled, half asleep already. "You're going to get sick."

"Then I get sick," Edward said nonchalantly. "It's my job to take care of you."

Jasper just sighed and reached up, tugging on Edward's hand. Understanding what he wanted, Edward lay down behind him, wrapping him in his arms. He radiated heat, but he seemed to feel better with Edward holding him.

Edward shook the memory away, trying to dispel the urge to gather Jasper into his arms again. He sincerely doubted it would make him feel better this time.

When his breathing slowed, Jasper opened his eyes and sat up, looking at Edward. "You didn't do anything wrong tonight," he said finally.

Edward looked at him, uncertain.

Tugging restlessly on his ear, Jasper started to babble. "I don't know what came over me. You were dreaming, and I was... I guess I was looking at you." His cheeks were flushing bright red. "Look... anyway. Long story short, you didn't do anything, and I had no right to yell at you like that."

Blinking, Edward tried to process this information.

And then he tried not to smile, tried not to let hope blossom at his core.

"You were close," he murmured.

Jasper looked down. Even the tips of his ears were red. His breath sped a little again, and he seemed agitated when he spoke. "Why do you want me?"

Not expecting that at all, Edward started. "What?"

"Why do you want me?" Jasper repeated. "I know I look like him, but I'm not him."

"What do you mean by that?" Edward's heart had started to twist and pound erratically in his chest.

"The guy you're so obviously in love with." Jasper looked right at him, his tone and his eyes somewhat wild and pained. "I'm not him."

"Jasper-"

"No. Follow me here. People change. That's the inherent nature of humans. We are a product of our experiences. We evolve. We change based on the choices we make." He paused, looking away. His hands wrung the blankets beneath him. "Well, I got handed a do-over whether I wanted it or not. I don't recognize the man everyone thinks I am. I don't understand him. So I have to go down this road again - that I understand. I get it. But I'm not going to come out the other end of this the same way I did."

Now Edward looked down. It hurt too much to see him even in profile because wasn't this exactly what he was terrified of? That whatever had aligned to make them fall in love the first time wouldn't realign, and Jasper wouldn't even be capable of wanting him anymore.

Jasper sighed, and when he spoke again his voice was soft, almost tender. "You don't know me, Edward. That's why you and and Alice had to share the responsibility of telling me about my life. She knew my past. You knew my present." He paused, his tone becoming bitter when he said, "No one knows me now."

It was painful to swallow. Actually, Edward was finding it difficult to breathe. "What are you asking me to do? Are you telling me to move on?"

"I can't tell you what to do. I know I wouldn't blame you if you did move on," Jasper said slowly. "I just... I know when I'm being... pursued."

Now Edward's cheeks flamed even though he hadn't exactly been subtle.

"Maybe... I mean, I just need to figure out a few more things before I'm ready for that."

Edward swallowed hard again, turning these words over in his head.

Jasper wasn't saying no, he was saying not yet.

"That's... very fair." Edward looked up. "I'm sorry about that. I knew better, it's just... When you asked about Garrett, it made me very nervous." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It still makes me nervous. Garrett won't respect your boundaries. He won't be shy about trying to seduce you."

"And you think that will endear him to me?" Jasper challenged.

"It worked the first time," Edward shot back.

Jasper looked away, his jaw taut. "I'm not going to make promises I can't keep." He took a deep breath. "But it's just a conversation, Edward, a fill in the blanks. And honestly..." His tone became soft - tired but sincere. "I am really not looking to hurt you. I know you're hurting enough."

Edward breathed in through his nose and out again slowly. He nodded. "It's late," he said rather than continue this discussion. "Why don't you let me get you downstairs?"

"Yeah. Okay."

They were both silent as Edward, his arm around Jasper's waist, led him downstairs. Neither of them spoke until Jasper was settled.

"Jasper," Edward began quietly, standing in his doorway. "You're still you. And I do love you. I'll give you space, but please don't expect me to give up. You're worth the fight."

A/N: I wish you guys could see my docs. JessyPT, barburella, and jfka06 are fricken hilarious.

Ohhhhhh and Tkegl made me a GORGEOUS banner for this story. I'm going to put a link to all my banners in my profile if you're interested!