A/N: Just a quick reminder that all of you make my day.

Edward hummed to himself, feeling happier than he had in a long while. Definitely more hopeful.

It had been five days since Jasper had kissed him of his own volition. And while there had been other things to deal with, there had also been more kisses. Tentative kisses. Innocent kisses.

Fucking amazing kisses.

Edward could tell Jasper was a little out of his depth, but he wasn't running, and the fact that he was initiating many of those kisses...

Well, Edward was happy.

So he was cooking all Jasper's favorite breakfast things: bacon, french toast, regular toast, and bacon.

Chuckling to himself - Jasper's breakfast habits had long amused him - Edward took the bacon out of the oven. Instantly, the distinct smell of baked bacon filled the kitchen. There was enough bacon to sate both their appetites.

Edward turned - and nearly dropped the baking tray when he saw Jasper leaning hard on the door jamb. He was bone pale, staring forward sightless.

Quickly, Edward put the bacon on the stove, turning back toward the other man with concern. "Jasper? Ba-" Edward swallowed the endearment down. "Are you okay?"

Jasper didn't answer. He continued to stare straight forward seeing nothing. His nostrils flared. His knuckles were white as he gripped the door jamb.

Edward called his name again, stepping toward him carefully, unsure what was going on. "Honey, you're really scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong?" His heart was pounding hard against his chest, feeling like he was caught up in some emergency though he couldn't put his finger on why. He felt desperate, out of his depth. His eyes swept the other man's form, but though his features were taut he didn't seem to be in pain. Edward's own body was poised. He wanted to do something but was at a loss for what.

Jasper was breathing raggedly. He closed his eyes tight.

Calling his name again, Edward reached out to touch Jasper's cheek.

That got a reaction. Jasper batted his hand way - rather hard, actually - snarling, "Don't touch me!" under his breath.

Edward held his hands up in a placating gesture, trying to ignore his hurt over Jasper's words and actions. "I'm away. Just please tell me what's going on. Please?"

When Jasper opened his eyes, and Edward gasped, seeing something raw - confused, pained, but also...

Jasper lurched forward, flying at Edward. They both stumbled, Edward catching himself with his hands and back against the counter. Before he could react, Jasper's lips were on him - hard, demanding, fervent. Edward held on to the counter for dear life as Jasper leaned up against him, his kisses not relenting.

Just as suddenly as it began, it was over. Jasper sucked in a sharp breath, breaking their kiss. He had both his hands braced on the cabinets above Edward and hung his head, dragging in air like it was going to run out any minute. Actually, they were both out of breath. Edward's head was spinning. He had no idea what the hell had just happened.

"I'm sorry," Jasper rasped. "I didn't..."

The last thing Edward wanted to do was move from where he was. The counter was digging hard into his back, painfully hard, but it didn't matter because Jasper was surrounding him. Edward itched to wrap his arms around him again, pull him closer.

But he couldn't.

So he slipped out from under Jasper's arms, distracting himself with the task of putting bread in the toaster. "I, um... breakfast. I made breakfast."

The silence between them was heavy and awkward. Taking a deep breath, Jasper pushed off the cabinets, limping over to the breakfast table. He sat heavily, leaning forward with his head in his hands.

Still worried, unsure of what was going on, Edward set Jasper's plate in front of him. He sat slowly, waiting for the other man to raise his head. He didn't.

He did reach out, his hand trembling as he lifted a piece of bacon. He studied it as though it held the answer to all his confusion.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Edward asked, his voice much calmer than he actually felt.

"Uh..." Jasper ran his hands through his hair nervously. "I'm not sure I really know." There were a handful of breaths before he spoke again. "It was the smell. I wasn't thinking anything, and then when I smelled the bacon... I think. I mean, maybe you can tell me, but I think it was a memory."

Edward's breath caught. He swallowed several times before he trusted himself to speak. "What did you remember?" he asked quietly.

"It was so strong," Jasper murmured, breaking the bacon into several pieces. "It didn't feel like a normal memory. It was everything - the smell, images, sounds..." He looked up, his eyes furtive. "The emotion."

Again, Edward swallowed hard before he asked again. "What did you remember?"

Jasper turned his attention to cutting his french toast into small pieces. "We...You were making bacon." His eyes closed. "I came up behind you..."

Then Edward closed his eyes.

Jasper's kisses started off slow. Edward was cooking, but he tilted his head to the side, letting his lover lick and nip at his skin.

asper took the pan from his hand and moved it off the flame. He moved his hands to Edward's waist and spun him around, kissing him deep, hard.

One thing led to another, and soon Edward found himself bent over the kitchen table with Jasper buried deep inside him, his teeth scraping the skin of his neck, their hands grasped above Edward's head.

It was hard, and rough, and completely passionate.

Edward shook his head hard, missing the man right in front of him horribly.

Jasper was watching him.

"It happened, didn't it?" he asked, his voice sounding raw.

"Yes." Edward spread butter and honey on his toast more to have something to do than for any plan of actually eating it. "More than once, actually."

Jasper nodded slowly. The air around them was alive - heavy. Edward wasn't sure what he was supposed to do here, whether it was okay to touch the other man like he wanted to.

He really wanted to ask about the things Jasper felt with the memory.

"These are all my favorite things," Jasper murmured, looking down at breakfast.

"Yeah," Edward rubbed the back of his neck. "I know."

Jasper snorted, the corners of his mouth tugging up. "Of course you know," he said wryly.

Edward smiled.

The atmosphere lightened considerably.

"It's good." Jasper looked up at him, that smile Edward had always found so alluring growing wider. "Thank you."

Feeling shy and smug, Edward looked down at his plate. "No problem."

~0~

"Jasper, don't you think this was a sign? If you've forgotten about your... time with Edward, maybe it's best to leave well enough alone."

Closing his eyes, Jasper counted to ten before he tried to answer his mother. "Your suggestion is for me to just ignore Edward and pretend the last seven years never happened?" he asked calmly.

"Not everything, of course. But maybe you could give it another go with Alice. There must be a reason she hasn't moved on since you. Maybe you owe it to your daughter, don't you think?"

Jasper clenched his jaw. "You know, Edward has helped raise my daughter since she was a baby. She calls him Daddy."

"Well, all the more reason to set her straight now. It's not right, Jasper. It's not normal. You are going to confuse the hell out of that poor little girl with this having two daddies nonsense," Maria groused. "You are her father. Alice is her mother. It's the way of the world. It's natural."

"Alice has a boyfriend," Jasper snapped. "And you of all people should be appreciative of Edward. All he's done for months now is take care of me. You, on the other hand, my mother, haven't even managed to call to see how I'm doing. By the way, of the two of us, Bella is not confused. I am, but she's a very happy, very loved little girl. I don't think there's anything unnatural about that."

He hung up the phone before his mother could answer and growled, wanting badly to punch something.

"They're pretty terrible, aren't they?"

Looking up, Jasper found Lucy, her arms wrapped around her middle, looking at him with a sympathetic expression. She came to sit next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "They love you, Jasper. They love us both. They just don't understand."

Jasper chuffed and sighed, resting her head on hers. "I don't understand," he grumbled. "But you know, I see it. I see it everywhere. I had a good life with Edward. I was really, impressively happy. Shouldn't she want me to find that again instead of thinking I should look for it with Alice when she knows for a fact that didn't work out? I look at Bella, and that's all I want for her - for her to feel happy, fulfilled, and loved. If Mom had her way, I would shut Edward out of not only my life but hers too. And that's supposed to be right? Natural?"

He paused, chewing on his bottom lip. "You know, it hits me sometimes. If this had gone another way, if Alice wasn't who she is, Edward could have lost everything. Everything."

"And if you weren't who you are. You made that choice, too - not to take Bella away, not to run from him," Lucy pointed out. "I know this hasn't been easy for you, Jazz. You have a lot to sort out, but you're not running away from something that's... pretty damn scary."

Before Jasper could respond, they heard the sound of the key turning in the door. Edward appeared a moment later, setting down his laptop bag. He looked over at them, taking in the mood of the room with some concern. "Everything okay?" he asked quietly.

Jasper gave him a small smile. "I talked to my mother today," he explained.

Something hard and furious flashed through Edward's eyes before he tempered his reaction. "Are you all right?"

Not really knowing what he felt, Jasper just shrugged.

Edward studied him a moment, but nodded. "Are you still up to dinner with my parents?"

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that." Jasper ran his hand through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You don't have to-"

"No, it's fine." He took Lucy's proffered hand, leaning on her to get up off the couch.

"Invitation still stands, Lucy. You're more than welcome to come, too," Edward invited.

Lucy grinned. "Got plans. You two have fun."

~0~

After dinner, Edward and Jasper made their way to the car slowly, still mid-conversation with the elder Cullens. Though he was walking better, Jasper took Esme's arms when she offered it, leaning on her as they made their way outside.

"I think being a police officer, even if you're working at a desk, is a very important job," Esme was saying, continuing their conversation from earlier. "There's no shame in that at all. Everyone has to do their part." She patted his hand. "But, I do understand the frustration. It won't be an easy thing to watch the others go out into the field when you can't."

Her expression was kind and contemplative. "Jasper, you're a very smart young man. I know, I know... I'm the biased mother here, but this is true, so don't laugh," she warned. "You can do anything you set your mind to. The sky's the limit, so don't feel like you have to settle. Take all the time you need to decide what you want to do with your life. After all, if you're going to be somewhere for forty hours a week or, you know, however long it ends up being, you should at least choose something that won't make you miserable."

Before they left, Esme kissed his cheek and Carlisle gave him a tight hug, treating him no different than they treated their own son.

On the drive back, Jasper turned Esme's words over in his head, dwelling not so much on her advice but on one sentence in particular.

'I'm the biased mother here.'

It was so obvious how absolutely genuine Esme and Carlisle were. They loved Jasper. Even though they didn't push him, even though they had to know how much this situation was hurting Edward, they were compassionate, patient, and endlessly loving toward Jasper.

There was no denying he was a part of this odd family, and there was no doubt in his mind that even if he should ultimately walk away from Edward, they would still accept him.

It was so much more than he could say about his own parents. His parents had nothing to lose and everything to gain. They could be a part of his life if they chose to be. They could see more of their granddaughter. At the very least, they could be supportive of their own flesh and blood, considering what he needed rather than what they wanted for him.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jasper saw Edward glance at him. His lips were pressed thin, but he didn't push. He was really so good at reading Jasper, knowing when it was okay to probe.

Jasper felt a rush of affection for the other man. Like his parents, he was so compassionate and endlessly patient. Edward could never quite hide his quiet misery over what he'd lost, as much as he tried, just like he could never hide his complete love and adoration. It could be overwhelming for Jasper - Edward was so in love when what Jasper felt was a paradox of emotions he hadn't untangled yet - but he was good at concentrating on what was more important.

Tentatively, not sure at all of his actions, Jasper reached out, putting his hand lightly over Edward's on the shifter.

He saw Edward suck in a deep breath, saw his small smile. But Edward didn't comment. He simply flipped his hand, threading their fingers together lightly.

These little physical signs of affection were getting a lot less awkward for Jasper. He liked kissing Edward. A lot, actually.

A couple of mornings previous, when he'd limped into the kitchen only to find it permeated with the wonderful smell of bacon, that vision, that memory had hit him so strong he couldn't even move. But it wasn't just the physical - though the memories of what he'd done with Edward, toEdward, had sent intense shivers down his spine. He also remembered the emotions.

The images were connected to an emotion so strong, just the memory had bowled him over.

The tenderness he felt for the other man as he wrapped his arms around him.

The passion when their kisses turned heated, fervent.

The love was unmistakable, and for moments it was all Jasper knew. That was why he attacked Edward the way he had. He didn't know how to deal with the strength of the emotion he felt; he'd had no choice but to act out physically. The energy in his blood demanded to be spent.

But as the shock left his system, as the memory faded, there came that constant knowledge that he had no idea what he was doing. This was all so new to him. If Edward had been Alice in that moment, he might have lifted him up onto the counter... things might have gone further in an instant. But he couldn't manhandle Edward the way he could Alice. There was a difference between men and women, a difference that hadn't been an issue to the Jasper in his vision but was glaringly obvious to the person he was at that very moment.

The hang up frustrated Jasper to no end. Because why wouldn't he want what he had? He saw all the pictures, saw how Edward doted on him, adored him. It was an enviable life he'd accidentally given up when he took a nose dive off a cliff, but he could have it again if only...

If only he could get past this hang up that Edward was a man. It was such a stupid thing to be stuck on, really.

Still deep in thought, Jasper let Edward help him out of the car and walked arm in arm with him into the house. He was curious, Jasper could tell, but he didn't ask.

"Come here," Jasper murmured when Edward made a move to leave him at his room. He tugged on Edward's hand, pulling him down next to him on the bed.

For a minute, they sat in silence, Edward just waiting, Jasper just trying to swallow down his nerves.

There shouldn't be a difference. Humans were physical beings. There should be no difference in his wanting to express himself physically, sexually, with a man.

And this was Edward. If things needed to stop... Edward would stop. Jasper knew this.

There was not a lot that drove Jasper crazier than being so timid. He was worse than a thirteen year old schoolgirl being kissed for the very first time. That wasn't him.

Lifting his hand, Jasper stroked Edward's cheek with trembling fingers. Reaching around to cup him around his neck, Jasper leaned forward, kissing him softly.

That was okay, but the thought of going further...

Jasper growled, irritated with the way his heart leapt to his throat and his body began to shake. This wasn't how he wanted to be. He just wanted to be past this part.

He didn't want to be the timid virgin anymore.

With a suddenness that knocked them both breathless, Jasper pushed forward. Edward was so startled, his hands fell on either side of his head on the bed. Trying to outrun his nerves - the flight reflex that was making him shake with a cold sweat - Jasper covered the other man's body with his own, pressing into him, kissing hard. Deep.

Beneath him, Edward writhed, his voice coming out in little mewls. He must have gotten over his shock because his hands came up, tangling in Jasper's hair. He began kissing back, his hips bucking up as Jasper pressed him down into the bed.

When they were both panting, Jasper let up, but only enough that he got his hands between them. Again, the difference was noticeable, unnerving in a way - frightening, but not entirely bad; touching Edward was not like touching a woman. The little moans and gasps Jasper elicited from Edward were very masculine. Every time that started to freak him out, Jasper moved his hands, exploring new ground.

"Jasper," Edward groaned. His hands were on Jasper's shoulders, his chest rising and falling sharply because he was so out of breath. "What are you... Fuck!"

Jasper had let his hand snake between Edward's legs and cupped him. God, the heat he radiated, his hardness beneath Jasper's palm, was good. Really good. "Fuck is exactly what I'm getting at, babe." He leaned in, attacking Edward's lips again.

For a second, Edward returned his kisses, raising his leg to wrap around Jasper's, pulling him closer. Then he gave a muffled cry and turned his head to the side. His voice was ragged when he spoke again. "Jasper. Why are you..." He pushed at Jasper's shoulders urgently. "Jasper. Stop. Stop!"

Edward shoved Jasper roughly, enough to slide out from underneath him. He rolled quickly into a sitting position, perching on the side of the bed, trying to catch his breath.

Feeling frustrated, rejected, and foolish, Jasper ran his hand through his hair, scooting backward so he could lean against the headboard. "What the hell is wrong? I thought this was what you wanted."

Edward turned to him, his eyes blazing with a mixture of emotions. He took a deep breath before he spoke. "What do you mean this is what I want?"

"Oh, give me a break. The way you look at me like a dog in heat? Like I'm water in the desert? Like I'm a buffet and you're a starving man? Don't pretend you don't want it." Some part of Jasper knew he was overcompensating. He just felt stupid and like he was about to burst into tears, neither a feeling he particularly enjoyed.

Edward stood, the expression on his face dwindling down to two emotions: anger and hurt. He took several steps backward, his jaw clenched. "Is that what youwant me for right now? Just sex?"

"I don't understand what your problem is. You remember sex with me. I just want to get it over with. If not you, who the hell am I supposed to do this with? What, do you actually want me to call Garrett?"

The other man recoiled as if Jasper had physically struck him, his mouth hanging agape in absolute shock and pain. He pressed his lips into a thin line, looking like he was this close to putting his fist through Jasper's teeth. Instead, he turned around, heading out of the room.

"Fuck," Jasper growled to himself, trying to get out of bed. "Edward!" he called. He went out into the hallway, again calling the other man's name.

"Don't... Don't come up here," Edward called back. "I'll be down in a minute. I just need... Yeah. A minute."

Jasper slumped down on the couch, his emotions vacillating. He was irritated. He was sorry. He knew he'd hurt Edward, but he wasn't entirely sure how. Obviously, the Garrett comment had been uncalled for, but really, was the idea Jasper wanted to have sex with him really that insulting?

It felt an awful lot like Edward was overreacting.

Just when Jasper thought he was going to go out of his skin, Edward came down the stairs. His expression was a lot calmer.

Actually, his expression was unreadable, and that made Jasper's stomach twist with anxiety.

He also had a duffel bag over his shoulder.

"Edward-"

"Let me say this, okay?" He took a deep breath, and Jasper's heart twisted when he realized Edward wasn't looking at him. "I'm going to go stay with my parents. No." Edward held up his hand to stop Jasper's protest.

"You were right about a lot of things," Edward said quietly. It didn't escape Jasper's notice that he stayed in the entranceway, keeping his arms crossed over his chest. "I know it must be confusing to you - having me here when I don't hide what I feel for you.

"I meant what I said before. I do think we're worth fighting for, and I'm not giving up." He looked off, trying and failing to hide a pained expression. "But it's not fair to make me your only option, for you to think you have to choose me because you owe me or because it's easier or... whatever."

"But that's not all there is to it," Jasper protested, frustrated. "I mean... I care about you." He looked down at his hands. "And you're good to me. I know I can trust you. That means a lot in this kind of thing."

"You really don't get it, do you?" Edward's voice was not accusing, but sad. He looked up, and the expression in his eyes was so filled with pain, Jasper gasped. "I can't just have sex with you. It's impossible." Edward spoke slowly so each word sunk in. "I'm in love with you. I can't be with you and not express that. And do you know how it would feel? I would be making love to you, and you would be getting it over with - just sex. Just... something you can share with anyone else." He shook his head. "I can't do it. I wish I could because the thought of you going to someone else..." He closed his eyes tight and blew out a long breath through his nose. "I'm sorry, but I can't. It would hurt too much."

Jasper was still looking down at the floor, not knowing at all how he was supposed to be feeling, when Edward finally crossed the room, going to him. He bent down and kissed Jasper on the forehead, a lingering kiss. "Lucy will be back soon," he said simply. "Tell her she can take the upstairs bedroom if she wants."

Then he was gone.

A/N: My docs... there were so many side discussions in my docs. Thank you to barburella, jessypt, jfka06, and naelany for putting up with me and arguing over every little detail... when I need it. I luffs you guyz.

As for you all...

Well... don't kill me. Or Jasper. Not conducive to HEAs.