A/N: I feel like warning everyone to make sure you read the last chapter. There were a lot fewer reviews than usual.

Do you... do you guys just not love me anymore?!

Was... was the blow job THAT BAD?!

*sobs*

Hehe.

When it came right down to it, sexual intimacy with a man wasn't as different as Jasper thought it was going to be. Edward's body was just as warm, just as pliant. It was harder, so Jasper's fingers slid across firm muscle instead of soft curves. But really, the basics were there - the give and take of pleasure, the ability to make his partner writhe and moan with his mouth, his hands.

It was the same... and yet it was a whole new world. Sex with Alice had not been bad by any stretch of the imagination. Sex with Edward, even if it wasn't all the way, was a whole other ballgame. It was the world amplified - attraction and enthusiasm turned up to ludicrous speed.

Jasper didn't feel so very awkward. He was into it.

He woke up the next morning, warm and content in his bed with Edward still draped over him. The satisfaction that gave Jasper, the peace he felt, was unlike anything he had experienced.

Well, at least that he remembered.

Edward seemed fairly content in his sleep, his lips set in a little grin that was almost cocky.

Emmett had told him Edward could get cocky. Jasper hardly believed it. Curling his finger around a lock of hair that fell over Edward's forehead, Jasper idly wondered what it would take to coax the cockiness out.

Jasper snickered to himself, some perverted remark about coaxing and cocks half forming in his still sleepy brain.

It was a thrill, pleasure in and of itself, to bring Edward pleasure. Jasper found he didn't much mind having a cock in his mouth. Obviously swallowing was going to take a little getting used to, but the rest of it was the very antithesis of bad.

For minutes, Jasper ran lazy fingers over Edward's features, smiling with a giddy rush when the other man's lips pursed, kissing his fingertips in his sleep.

Jasper sighed, his emotions getting heavier as he woke more fully.

He wished he could slow the world, or compartmentalize each confusing aspect of his life for careful consideration.

On top of dealing with everything else - being a father, being divorced from Alice, not knowing what he was going to do with the rest of his life - there was this issue of getting used to liking boys. It wouldn't be so bad except that it had sapped Jasper's natural confidence, and he was a little blind without that swagger in his step.

Jasper stared at Edward's sleeping face, a now familiar warmth spreading over his chest, making his heart pound. He couldn't mistake the glee, the satisfaction he felt that this man was in his bed.

That this man chose to love him.

What Jasper wished he could suss out was exactly how he felt for Edward.

It was absolutely true that he was falling - hard. Sometimes, his lust, his attraction, his utter adoration for Edward made him dizzy and lightheaded. He just had to wonder where the emotion came from.

What Jasper felt for Peter, when he knew he was dead, had hit him with the strength of a hurricane. There was no denying it. The feel of his heart breaking had been the most hideously painful thing he could imagine. The love he had for Peter wasn't wrapped up in anything else.

What he felt for Edward was not so straightforward. Part of him wondered how much of his feelings toward the other man were borne out of what he needed. How could he not be self-conscious? Edward was a confidence booster to be sure. He was so focused on Jasper; it was nearly impossible to resist that level of devotion. And Edward was a safe harbor in a somewhat frightening journey.

Jasper was only too aware they had one more physical milestone left. For his own sake, Jasper wanted to share himself, his body, with only Edward. But Edward deserved a lover who was on the same page, who was just as in love with him - not the safety he offered or the reverence he showered him in - as Edward was for Jasper.

To Edward, Jasper was his husband. He'd struggled with the changes, but Jasper could see in every action, in every look, that Edward was falling in love with him all over again. He'd fallen. It was done. Irrevocable.

Jasper didn't feel married. He didn't feel like he wanted to be apart from Edward, but he didn't feel completely committed either.

Sighing to himself, Jasper ran his fingers through the longish locks on Edward's forehead, the movement tender. He scooted closer to the other man, tightening his arms around him and beginning to press little kisses along his chin. There was an edge of desperation to Jasper's actions he was trying to ignore, trying to outrun.

His fingers tracing along Edward's back, caressing the skin of his ass, Jasper kissed him into wakefulness.

Edward's eyes fluttered open slowly, his face beatific and his smile lackadaisical as he yawned and kissed Jasper back. As their lips moved together, Edward hummed, the sound reverberating between them, and Jasper sighed, relaxing into the heat of the moment.

He did like this. A lot. A really lot.

But before they got ahead of themselves again, Jasper pulled away slightly.

"Are you awake?"

Edward hummed, licking his lips. "I suppose I can be." He grinned. "If I must."

"Well, if you're awake, there are things we need to talk about."

Edward's little grin fell and he scooted backward a little, his lips tugging downward. "I know." He sighed. "This is nice, though... waking up like this. Can't we ignore it just a little longer?"

There was a pout to his tone that was more adorable than annoying.

Jasper tightened his arms around Edward again, pulling him snug against him. "Who said we had to move?" His tone was teasing, and he felt a little smug when Edward's breath wheezed a bit.

Skimming the pads of his fingers down Edward's cheeks, across his nose, Jasper studied him for a long moment before he spoke. "I want to do what I can to help you be more comfortable with the idea of the things I do with Emmett," he said slowly. "What specifically worries you?"

The skin around Edward's eyes tightened, a distinctly pained and slightly panicked look coming over him. "What worries me? I worry that you won't survive your next fall!"

"I know that," Jasper said calmly. "That's a general fear." He brushed Edward's hair out of his eyes so he could look at him steadily. "When we take Bella to the park, I worry she'll fall when she's bouncing around just like I know you'll always worry I'll get hurt."

"Again," Edward inserted, his tone strained.

"Yes, again. But if you tell me specifics, I think I can at least know where to start."

Edward appeared to think about this before he spoke. "Your injuries make things much more complicated. An impairment is nothing to be ashamed of, but you have to accept you can't just do the things you did before."

Jasper grimaced but nodded his agreement. "I think you have to give me some credit here. Throughout this whole process, I haven't exactly refused to accept I need help, right?"

Looking slightly sheepish, Edward nodded.

"I've accepted the fact I'm probably not ever going to be in the same shape I was." Jasper's heart gave a little twist. It was a difficult thing to acknowledge, but he'd come to terms with it - or he was getting there at least. "But that being said, I'm only going to get stronger from here. I'm working very hard to get better."

Edward cupped his face. "I know that, babe."

Wrapping his fingers around Edward's, Jasper brought their joined hands down between them. "This isn't something I'm rushing into. We're not talking about going on some dangerous adventure every weekend. Rafting, for instance? We won't be able to do that until at leastMay. That's half a year away. It's plenty of time for me to make sure I have the arm strength to swim well. I don't have anything else planned from here until then."

"You said last night you wanted to go paragliding again," Edward pointed out.

Jasper tilted his head. "That's a little different. First of all, Emmett was really careful to choose something where the instructors have almost total control. Safety wise it wasn't a hell of a lot different than being on a roller coaster.

"That being said, I had no immediate plans to go back. It was something I suggested because I thought it might help. You could see what it was like - how I'm not just throwing myself off cliffs."

Edward gave a little grumble but nodded. "I know," he admitted. "You've never been careless." He kissed Jasper sweetly, squeezing his hands. "Really, I was just caught off guard. It was the last thing I expected to have to deal with."

Jasper nodded. "I know. I realize now how unfair that was. I'm sorry. It was inconsiderate of us to do that."

"I appreciate you saying so," Edward acknowledged. His expression was grudging. "And I apologize for overreacting."

Rather than answer, Jasper leaned in, capturing Edward's lips in a kiss that was a promise: He was never going to leave Edward out of the loop again.

After some moments of this, Jasper wrapping his fingers around Edward's wrists as the other man moved his hands to cradle Jasper's face, Edward made a contented little sound. He buried his head on Jasper's shoulder. When he spoke, his voice vibrated against Jasper's throat.

"I think I will go with you to see what it's like," he murmured. Pushing up onto his arms, Edward looked down on Jasper, caressing his cheek gently and studying his face. "I was worried before but..." He pursed his lips. "I didn't really think anything could happen. You're my superman, Jasper." His expression was slightly abashed but unapologetic. "I need to see you're the same strong, smart person you always were. I know you can take care of yourself, but I need to seeit."

"I understand that better than you think. When Emmett dragged me up there, I was very resentful of him. I didn't think I could do what he wanted me to do. But when I saw I could do it..." Jasper shook his head, not sure if he could find the words.

Turning his head, Edward kissed Jasper's throat. "Arrange it," he said decisively. After a pause, he lifted his head. "Now if you don't mind, what do you say we get back to that sleep thing we were doing so well at before."

Glancing at the clock, Jasper raised an eyebrow. "It's almost eleven."

Edward smirked. "Do youwant to move?" he challenged.

In response, Jasper hitched his leg over Edward's and tightened his grip. "Point taken." He let his grin spread slow and seductive across his face. "But I can think of much more interesting things to do without leaving this bed besides sleep."

~0~

Edward was trying not to make Jasper uncomfortable, so as they made their way to the restaurant, he held back from trying to invade his personal space. He purposefully shoved his hands down deep in his pockets to resist the urge to hold Jasper's hand. They hadn't had a chance to discuss how Jasper felt about public displays of affection.

So Edward was pleasantly surprised when Jasper hooked his hand through his arm. He was downright shocked when the blond man pushed him up against the brick wall around the corner from the restaurant.

"What-" Edward began, but was quickly silenced when Jasper kissed him. Hard. Deep. Until he got light headed because he hadn't breathed in-

Jasper released him, and they both panted, breathless.

"What was that for?" Edward asked between gasps.

"I wanted you to be in a good mood." He licked his lips and looked at him more seriously. "I hope that by agreeing to come out tonight, that means you're considering forgiving Emmett."

Edward pressed his lips together.

Tilting his chin, Jasper leaned both of his hands on either side of Edward's head. He began to press tiny little kisses to the skin around Edward's lips.

Edward sighed, then moaned, giving in and leaning into his kiss. "You're too convincing," he grumbled.

As Jasper intended, Edward was in a warm haze from their very thorough, very public kisses when they went into the restaurant where Emmett and Rosalie were waiting. So when Emmett looked at him, his eyes uncertain, Edward merely sighed and pulled him into a tight hug in greeting.

Edward had not been oblivious to the fact, when Jasper asked him if he was open to a double date, what the blond man actually wanted.

If he were being honest, Edward had been caught off guard by the strength of his anger toward Emmett. There was a lot of resentment buried deep that Edward had ignored until Emmett had put the man he loved in danger. Again.

"I know it isn't fair," Edward told Emmett quietly later that night. Rosalie and Jasper were playing pool nearby, leaving their dates to talk. "A big part of me still blames you," he admitted. "For him falling, for everything that's happened since."

"You can't blame him. It's easier to blame me," Emmett surmised tightly.

"Yes."

"Well, I should have told you." He grimaced but then gave a small smile, looking up at Edward with a kind expression. "I think we're on the same page, is the problem. We both want to help him. It's hard to see anyone else's problems when his are so..."

"Big?" Edward suggested.

Emmett waggled his eyebrows playfully. "Since when is big a problem?" he asked, his tone lewd.

Edward choked on a laugh and then full on chortled. Emmett grinned at him, and the heavy atmosphere that had weighed on them dissipated almost completely. They both smiled and nodded at each other, the matter settled.

"Pool?" Edward asked, nodding at their partners.

Fuck that." Emmett waved his hand. "Darts," he challenged.

"Darts," Edward agreed.
~0~

They walked in the door with arms linked, the mood between them light. It had been a very good night for so many reasons.

Since he didn't know if he would be welcome in Jasper's bed again, Edward pulled the other man to him as they came into the foyer.

"I hope you don't find this condescending or trite, but I'm very proud of you," he said sincerely, softly.

Jasper looked confused. "For what? I mean, I played a hell of a game of pool, but I always-"

"Not that," Edward said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "I mean us." He studied Jasper for a moment. "The first time I was out with another boy, I was so nervous I couldn't stop shaking."

Realization came over Jasper's features, and he nodded slowly. "Oh. That."

"Yes, that."

Jasper scrubbed the back of his neck and gave a little laugh. "I feel like once you've had a cock in your mouth, you probably shouldn't be so bashful about holding hands or kissing."

Edward was so startled by the other man's candor, he burst into laughter. "Well, that makes sense, I guess."

Smirking, Jasper wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him. "I guess I figured I had enough to deal with being so fucking tangled up in my own head, I don't have time to worry about someone else's malfunction."

Twisting his lips up at one corner of his mouth, Edward looked at his lover. "Are things still so bad for you?" he asked softly, hoping his question sounded as innocent as he meant it.

Jasper was silent for a long moment. He dropped his hands down to Edward's, threading their fingers together. "Come sit with me a second," he requested.

Edward's stomach tangled up in knots as he followed Jasper to the couch and sat down.

"A lot of things are so much better," Jasper began, playing with Edward's fingers as he spoke. "I don't feel like I'm going out of my skin anymore. I don't feel like a stranger in my own head.

Raising a hand, he cupped Edward's cheek. "And I'm really happy here - with you specifically."

Edward sucked in a breath, his heartbeat erratic. "There's a but, isn't there?" he asked, his voice strangled.

Jasper grimaced a bit. "There's no but. Not really." His fingers traced along Edward's hairline, his expression drawn, reserved. "I just hope I'm falling for you for the right reasons."

"What are the right reasons?" Edward wondered out loud.

At that, Jasper's lips quirked upward. "I don't know, to be honest." He shifted, laying his head on Edward's shoulder and wrapping an arm around him. "That's the part that's still all snarled up. Complicated. Sometimes all this," he gestured between them, "with us... it seems so natural I think it must just be a part of me - like my... soul remembers even if my thoughts haven't caught up." He gave a little growl. "That just... does that make any sense?"

"No," Edward admitted, running his fingers through Jasper's hair. "I can't honestly say I understand how it feels to forget... everything. To not know if what you feel is because of your present or your past," he mused aloud. "I do understand the... convolutedness of it all. It's disconcerting, isn't it? For me, you're my husband - the man I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Jasper tensed just slightly at Edward's words, so he was quick to continue. "But I understand where you are. For you, we're... at that new boyfriend stage. I don't think you want to see anyone else-"

"I don't," Jasper said fervently.

Edward smiled and continued. "But you're not ready to walk down the aisle, so to speak."

"Right." Jasper's voice was tight, worried.

"I think... I think our relationship is complex, bewildering. But you're happy?" Edward verified.

"Yeah. I don't want to go anywhere."

"And I'm happy." Edward looked off, trying to reason through it all. "I don't know, Jasper," he said finally. "Love and logic seldom keep the same company. Maybe I shouldn't be so completely wrapped up in a man who can't return my level of commitment. Maybe you shouldn't settle for me just because I'm here and obviously willing." He shrugged. "Right now... it really doesn't matter. At least not for me. I'm not leaving unless you tell me that's what you want."

"It isn't what I want," Jasper said again, raising his head. "That seems like a simple enough solution - keep on keeping on."

Edward grinned and kissed him, stroking his thumbs over Jasper's knuckles as he did. Jasper gave a little sigh, his breath warm in Edward's mouth, and sagged against him. It was a good moment - the perfect dollop of whipped cream on a sweet evening.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Jasper asked between kisses, his voice higher pitched than normal with breathiness. "Just to sleep?"

And there was the cherry - the final touch.

"Yeah. I'd like that."

A/N: I feel like you all deserve a fair warning. We're nearing the end of our little tale!

Thanks to my usual team and mycrookedsmile for listening to me whine about this chapter.

SO! Are you still out there, my lovelies?