Straydog Saga

Flea 2: Smooth Criminal

Elunis Sagesmoke woke from her shallow sleep with a headache. Though the moon and the sacred branches of Teldrasil did their best to lull her, the storm in the pit of her stomach was far too strong. Though the sleeplessness was a new feature in her life, small bags already made an appearance under her eyes. She typically enjoyed her job tending to the depleted forests of Ashenvale. She would spend her days amongst the trents and Dryads helping the forests of Felwood and the former Plaguelands heal and return to their former splendor. She would come home to her husband and his many pets and expect kisses from each and every one of them, even the foul-breathed murlock named "Fraggle". Sometimes she would use her druidic talents to turn into a sage-colored saber, spending time with the orphans and allowing them to ride around on her back, reenacting their parent's noble deeds. Though the world around her seemed to be on the mend there was one part of her picture pleasant life she could not seem to fix. Another pang in her stomach came as thoughts flooded her mind's eye. It was enough to wake her husband who gently placed an arm around her waste.

"Can't sleep?"

"Not a wink." She yawned, stretching a little before turning to cuddle into her hunter-husband. "Your father wouldn't have wanted this."

"Its not that..."

"Its not about her is it?" Elunis hesitated before nodding. Her husband, Morion Catwhisper, sighed and pulled away slightly.

"She did it to herself, El. And she'll get hers for what she did; nothing you can do about that. I just hope the sentinels get to her before I do." Morion said with a slight growl in his voice. The person in question, per the letter of the law, was only truly guilty of assault and destruction of property but among the many offenses was the death of his first and most prized pet, a old moon saber matriarch named "Babygirl". While it was an offense with a minor fine and some community service, evading arrest was not. "Besides you need your rest. I'll make you some tea and honeybread-toast in a few hours." he yawned and rolled back over to his usual sleeping position. Elunis nodded but couldn't keep her eyes closed.

"Shandori, please come home..."

Shandori had little choice but to stay in her room for the remainder of the week long trip. She couldn't risk being caught then thrown overboard for robbery. Naga and sea creatures aside, the thought of sinking like a stone was enough to keep the boisterous night elf silent and hidden. She paced around like a caged moonsaber, fiddling her new little trinket. She did not take in the arcane energy but the tiny sapphire did seem to sooth her. That morning, just as dawn finally broke, she peered out of the tiny window. But unlike the previous times a small patch of brown and green came over the horizon. Land was quickly forming ahead of them as the Interdictor made its way into queue. Once the doc was clear and space was made they docked. Shandori finally left her room and sprinted to the upper deck. She felt the tenseness leave her shoulders when there was no sign of the red robed human when or any gaggles of bruisers with arrest warrants, for her anyway. The warrior did a few stretches as she waited for Christoffel to appear. He walked down the knotted plank, with his share of the gems in tow, including another necklace made of gold and rubies. Like Shandori's, the necklace soothed him, affording him one of the best nights of sleep he'd had in years. They met up on the dock and made their way to The Dead Parrot, a small dive bar to which the instructions said to meet their new employer. The tiny, out of the way swill parlor was as musty and rank as its name. There was very little light despite the fine weather and cloudless sky. Shandori recognized the man, dressed only in a pair of common cloth clothes and an imposing black cloak, hood pulled well over his large nosed face. Upon further inspection, he was actually a dwarf, though slightly taller in stature. He was not alone, however. Three others, a strange assortment of creatures, came into view.

The first was a human woman, whose attire rivaled that of her succubus that stood quietly beside the table, admiring its nails. Though she was shorter than Shandori and as a human considered less comely than her Elvin counterparts, her figure was fuller and far more enticing. Her pouty, soft looking lips were painted blood red, and manicured brows arched in impatience. Her dark skin and silky black hair added to her exotic aura but the angry expression spoke to her over all demeanor. She sat with one spiked boot on the floor, the other resting on the edge of her chair.

The second was sort of an oddity in the dank, dark dive bar. He was a dwarf, who's aura spoke of his holy path. His fine white robes denoted his position as a priest and his wheat colored beard was trimmed quite conservatively. But even he had his vices, it seemed, as several of the empty drinking steins on the table were within his reach. As soon as his current stein went dry he checked his depleted coin purse and immediately ordered another.

The last of the three, barely able to reach the top of the table sat there nervously fidgeting with her cloak claps. Though the shaking creature might be mistaken for a human child, she was in fact a gnome. She pulled her cloak around her if she were somehow cold, tiny frame shivering from something other than a chill wind. Her big blue eyes scanned the bar as her stylish cropped orange hair shook like the leaves on a palm tree.

As Shandori and Christoffel approached, the dwarf in the black nodded and signaled for them to sit. Suspicious, somewhat angry eyes rested on Christoffel, who seemed unmoved by the hostility.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, blood elf?" The warlock growled, reaching for the sword at her hip.

"He's with me." Shandori spoke up, casting an expression that dared anyone at the table to say something further on the subject. But unlike many who would be intimidated by the bold warrior, a single sword came lose from its sheath and came to rest just beneath Christoffel's chin.

"I don't work with his kind, I slaughter them. Damn horde monsters." The warlock proclaimed. It was then that a small squeak came from the tiniest member of the table.

"Um, Keesha, you do realize you consort with demons every day. Isn't it a bit hypocritical of you to judge someone like that?" The gnome, young Ima Ation, spoke as if expecting to be hit with a shadow bolt.

"The gnome has a point, lass." The priest managed to speak between joyful sips. All the while Christoffel sat there motionless, as if the threatening warlock didn't exist. He crossed his arms and waited for the situation to right itself, never keeping his poisonous daggers far from reach.

"Who's side are you on?"

"We're on the side of making money and each second of my time you waste threatening my business partner is less money in my coin purse. So sit your big ass down, shut up, or I'll shut you up." Shandori spoke with a calm voice but threatening glare. The sword moved from beneath Christoffel's chin as Shandori stood. Keesha quickly moved to within an inch of Shandori, lifting her gaze to glare into the night elf's eyes.

"You think you can talk shit to me, purple bitch?"

"No, I definitely did just talk shit and if you don't get out of my face I'll send you to meet your demon friends in the next life."

"As hot as this is..." Christoffel pulled a few small objects, what looked like plain darts and flung them in the direction of the fighting pair. One hit Keesha in the thigh, the other hit Shandori in the arm. "...I suggest you both sit down, you wont have use of your legs in a few minutes." Shandori and Keesha glared at the rogue who had so administered darts that were cleaned but still had traces of paralytic poison on them. With little choice the argument ended with a pair of quick glares and curse words.

"Are you all done then?" The dwarf in the black cloak drawled. His accent was strange, not at all like the priest who seemed to speak in the standard dwarfish tone. "Lets get down to business. I'm hiring you all for a very important quest. If ye should succeed, my offer of 1000 gold a piece will stand. If ye should fail, well, lets just say you'd have to say hello to my ancestors for me."

"So what exactly is this 1000 gold quest?" Christoffel asked, seemingly interested but his eyes did not seem to marvel at the prospect. The dwarf cleared his throat and placed a map on the table.

"I am a collector and a student of archeology. The artifacts I'm studying are far too difficult to find and would take too much for me to get on my own. The artifacts in question would be very valuable to wizards and warlocks alike, if my hunch is right. I have an alchemist friend who tells me he can make a potions that can make someone as strong as a dragon, or as quick as a tiger. But these are common and only temporary. My aim it so make the effects permanent. But in order to do that I'll be needed some green dragon bones." The dwarf pointed excitedly to the map to a location in the heart of the Swamp of Sorrows. "There is a sunken temple in the middle of the swamp. Some say heroes of the past slew a whole mess of green dragons there. I'm hoping the bones still remain. If you can get me as many bones as you can find, I'll pay you an additional 100 gold per measure." The dwarf nodded.

Shandori stiffly nodded as the others seemed to ponder over the prospect of so much gold. It sounded far too good ot be true although the pay did match the work.

"How...do we...know you have...that money?" Shandori asked, struggling to move. The dwarf nodded thoughtfully and carefully responded.

"I have the money, don't you worry. I'm just not dumb enough to bring it to a table filled with murderers, rogues, and mercenaries." He shrugged. Shandori found no words to argue with his logic. She struggled but managed to place her hand down on the map and agreed to the terms. With a quick tap, Christoffel administered the anti-poison and she immediately felt some relief. The gnome, a mage and eager young student nearly leaped at the chance to obtain rare magical artifacts. Monk Wheatbeard found he was a priest who could not let these adventures or his wallet go without a bit of healing.

And so the group would head out first thing the next morning, long after Keesha's paralysis would ware off, in search of dragon bones and mysterious patron's gold.

The smell was nearly unbearable. Each step into the bog evoked a sloppy, muddy "blop" with a renewed stench. The questing party managed to get a ride from their employer in a cargo cart as far as Deadwind pass. When they found themselves in the Swamp of Sorrows after what seemed was a pleasant ride, minus Ima's cherubic chatter the entire way, they scrambled to cover their noses.

"Gods, it smells like something crawled up a kodo's ass and died." Shandori coughed, trying not to vomit.

"Nah, smells like me uncle Sam the morning after a keg party at Brewfeast." Monk shuttered at the memories of those blood-vomit mornings. He did his best not to get the churning swamp water on his pristine robes, but it was futile. Ima was struggling to keep her head above water.

"C-Can I get a ride, please?" She squeaked. Each step on the uneven ground threatened to send her into the foul soup. Even on the few patches of dry land the stink followed. But there were worst perils in the Swamp of Sorrows than mosquitoes and dirty water. Keesha's slave, the succubus, gave a warning hiss. With a crack of her venomous whip, she left a gaping wound on the flank of a swamp leopard.

"We got cats." Keesha hissed as a pride of leopards came from the dripping foliage. The quintet formed a tight circle, back to back as the cats began to circle licking their tarnished and broken teeth. Shandori saw how skinny they were and their ribs were as apparent as a full moon on a cloudless night.

"Hungry cats...be extra careful. They're not going to back off easy. Monk, cover me. I'll gather them up. the rest of you shoot them down."

"Wait lass-" Monk started but Shandori was already sprinting towards the largest, the patriarch. She struck it hard on the skull with the butt of her sword as the rest of the pride came down upon her. Keesha's succubus and Christoffel joined the fray as Keesha began casting horrific bolts of shadow in their direction. Ima shook once again, trembling far too much to concentrate on a spell. With a squeak she held her hands out and hoped for the best. her wild thoughts produced equally wild magic. Bolts of fire, ice, and purple light burst from her fingertips with varying results. Some of the cats were partially charred, others were frozen in place. One seemed to shrink until the form of a sheep bleated in its place. The smell of living mutton was enough to distract the other cats as they pried their teeth and claws off Shandori and pursued their seemingly easy prey. The party ran, verbally praising their smallest member, before coming to the edge of a great lake.

As they took some time to catch their breath they noticed armor protruding from the quagmire. Elite dragon spawn that once guarded the temple lay rotting and exposed.

"You think these will do?" Shandori pulled up the skull of one of the dead dragon spawn. It seemed oddly soft, and some of the flesh still stuck to it.

"I don't think so. If the bones are going to be used for alchemical experiments the inexpedience need to be precise. Dragon spawn bones may not be viable. And I suppose our esteemed employer could have gotten these himself if they were." Christoffel mused out loud. Shandori gladly tossed the skull into the muck.

"Well 'spose we gotta get a swimmin'" Monk sighed knowing he'd never get the stains out of his cloths after this adventure. Keesha, Christoffel, and Ima followed his lead.

"W-wait, we have to swim? Isn't there a bridge in or something?" Shandori's voice shook a little. The 4 pairs of mocking or shocked eyes fixating on her didn't help.

"Why da hell would there be a bridge? Its a SUNKEN temple." Keesha ticked.

"Miss Dori, you can't swim?" Ima asked with a small voice. If she wasn't purple, the others would be able to clearly see she was blushing. Ima giggled a little and swam back to where Shandori was standing. "That's ok, I think I might be able to help ya." Ima dug through her bags until she gripped a small blue sphere. She held it out, closed her eyes and concentrated on a spell. Some of the bog water began to spin and form small water spouts. Soon the spouts began to take shape. What was once nothing more than swamp water had become a giant water elemental. "Here we go, he should be able to carry ya across." Ima nodded and the water elemental floated closer to Shandori. Though its grip was awkward, Shandori eventually got situated on its massive shoulder.

"Ima, this is amazing! And you're just a student?" Shandori marveled.

"Sure as sunshine. If you think that's impressive, you should see what my teacher can do. He's nuts!" She chirped. The party made their way to the great temple and as soon as Shandori set foot on the mossy stones the water elemental that bore her returned to its original state. Now they stood in front of a set of imposing stone doors covered in much and moss and gods knew what else.

"Alright, lets get us some dragon..." Shandori began to say as she took a step forward. Her foot sank and in an instant she felt herself falling. She triggered a trap, sending the group falling into darkness. Christoffel groped in the darkness, grabbing onto a vine. It held and he quickly managed to grab a hold of Shandori. he gritted his teeth as the added weight strained the vine that gradually ripped from the temple wall. Once again they found themselves falling but a gust of air from below seemed to buffet their fall.

"Don't worry, I gotcha!" Monk shouted, casting slowing spells as quickly as possible. Soon the party's feet met solid ground again, having to wade through the remains of those unlucky enough to set off the trap and not have a skilled priest in tow. The trap above ground back into place, encasing then all in darkness. While Shandori had no trouble seeing, the others could not see within an inch of their noses. She dug through the corpses, finding some coinage, first aide supplies, and wood used for torches. Ima provided a fireball and one by one Shandori passed around the lit torches. they found themselves in a long, cobwebbed corridor. With no choice but to walk forward they quietly moved into the musty hall. The sound of running water was the only thing they could hear at first but the farther they traveled the more apparent other signs of life became.

"Sounds like imps." Keesha whispered as the sound of echoing speech became louder. An odor wafted in from the direction of the voices.

"And trolls. This temple used to belong to a troll clan if memory serves. Would explain that smell." Ima whispered. when they came to the end of the hall, it t-boned into another hallway. Shandori peered beyond the wall to see no less than 10 imps hopping along the corridor. Luckily their were only three trolls that she could see. they formed a plan and engaged their enemies who were no match for Shandori's rage, Ima's wild spells, and Keesha's shadowy might. Christoffel was only behind in the slaughter because he took the time to pickpocket the trolls before they were dismembered. They sprinted down the hallways, knowing the fight would attract the attention of others in the hallway. Sure enough, a handful of trolls and their minions came at them, all suffering the same fate. During the fray, Ima noticed an odd fetish along the wall, a sequence of strange shapes lined the wall seemed to indicate their quarry was down a long, spiral staircase.

"Guys, down this way, the bones are down there!"

"How do you know?"

"Just trust me!" Ima shouted, hitting one of the imps with a bolt of arcane light, killing it instantly. After the new set of monsters were dispatched, the party followed Ima's instructions. The hunch paid off. they came to a large sacrificial pit that was littered with the bones of trolls, dragons, and travelers. But the group felt the wind knocked out of them. they would have to pick through the bones, one by one, to try and determine which were dragon bones and which were junk.

"Uhhhgh just remember, 1000 gold, this is worth 1000 gold..." Shandori muttered to herself as she picked through the gore. Christoffel, a skilled alchemist in his own right was the designated bone checker. After 15 minutes of the grim work, only 5 actual bones were found.

"Hey, what's this?" Keesha mused as she picked a large emerald from the carnage. The large stone was adorned with looked like living gold, with golden leaves growing from the branches. It slowly began to shine. Shandori's eyes went wide.

"Its a druid's tool, drop it!" Shandori shouted but it was too late. Gnarled roots burst from within the stone, quickly covering the party with poison-filled thorns. The druid's tool had become corrupted after the user's death and a spell that was intended to trap, had twisted to destroy. Shandori screamed as the thorns pricked her arms and neck as the roots constricted around her. Lockeesha, who bore a lot more skin was slipping into darkness. Monk, seeing his companions slowly being crushed and poisoned concentrated through the pain. He could feel the light coursing through him, turning him into an instrument of its love. He called forth a mighty ball of light that filled the room. Any magic that surrounded them was eaten away by the dispelling light. the party crumpled to the floor, their collective heads spinning from the poisonous barbs. Shandori snapped to attention by a strange voice in their midst.

"No, no, no no! this is bad, bad!" The voice trembled. Shandori thought the poison had caused her to hallucinate for where the tiny gnome once stood, was a six-foot troll. The troll trembled, its short orange and very stylishly cut hair shook like the leaves of a palm tree. "The light must have erased my transfiguration spell." She shook, looking with still soft looking red eyes to the party that was slowly recovering through Monk's holy light.

Ima had some explaining to do...