Hi guys! sorry i didn't upload as fast as i did the other fanfic, i've been with family for the past 2 weeks so it was kind of hard! But now i'm back and this chapter is kind of rough, i hope ya'll like it! :DD oh and if your wondering what song adam is singing later in the chapter it's family portrait by Pink, you should listen to it, it never fails to make a mood really melancholy! oh and during the whole first half i listened to get scared, so if you want to be perfect or something i guess, haha well review and everything, enjoy my lovelys:)
ADAM POV
I hate physics, so much, not only because the teacher is a friend of my parents, but because now I have that new guy in my class! I accidentally bumped into him in the hallway and all of the sudden he hates me, that glare holy hell, he made it seem like I had shot him or something!
I sat in pain for the next 30 minutes, after getting hit in the hallway like that, I think it opened some wounds, I could hardly breathe. Even Mr. chastely threated to tell my parents, I don't know what I'm going to do, he's my parent's friends and he knows and he even helps.
I don't even want to call them parents, they're monsters.
I'm going to get it when I get home…
The rest of the class blurred, near tears, I stared at the wall and hoped they wouldn't spill over my eyes, I can't do this now, I can't cry, ever.
The bell rang and I saw the new kid in more detail, he had blonde hair and it spilled over his right eye and ended right below deep chocolate and he wore a gray shirt with a blue stripped jacket, blue skinnies, vans, with a very boyish voice. That's it, its official, he's freaking adorable, FUCK, I can't like him, he hates me… and he'll probably be disgusted that a fag likes him.
Once he walked away I ambled over to the desk and waited for him to speak.
"Why do you insist on being late to my class Adam?"
"I have to walk to school, sir,"
"I texted your parents Adam, they aren't happy," I flinched at the thought of going home today.
"I-I'm sorry,"
"Don't apologize, I'm taking you home today, be in my class after school," no, please don't, NO.
"Leave." He spat.
I rushed out of the class as fast as I could, and ended up pushing the new kid down, again, FUCK. He looked up and held out his arm, confused I stared at it and cocked my head to the side, and grimaced at the shooting pain that flashed through my body.
"Well?" he shook his arm, finally catching on I pull him up, only to wince again, fuck. I trudged away as soon as he was up but he chased after me and stopped me.
"Hi, I'm Tommy Joe, I was wondering if you would show me around? Or at least to my next class..?"
"Please,"
Not trusting my voice I just nodded weakly, why was the new kid that hates me talking to me? Why not one of the jerks, he looks like he would fit in with them perfectly, like seriously why?
He talked animatedly about his life and everything else around it and I found out that he just moved here but back home he had "a sexy babe" for a girlfriend, yep totally straight, his dad got a promotion in his job and is now a manager or something, and that he plays the guitar and bass.
Too bad he's completely straight as a line; I'm about as straight as a circular, glittery, rainbow.
We reached his class and he entered, waving goodbye to me, I stared at nothing as the day dragged on, he was the only person that has ever talked to me and not been disgusted with how I look or judged me and called me a fag right off the bat. Needless to say, I kind of liked this kid, but I don't want him near me, anything that gets near me ends up dead or hurt.
I don't need anybody, never.
The last class of the day finally ended when the bell rang and I was instantly terrified, I didn't want to go near Mr. chastely, I don't even want to think about how many times he's…don't think about it, it just makes it worse.
I stepped down the hall hoping someone killed me here, that would be nice, to die, I wanted to die, but it would only please everyone in this stupid black and white town.
My shirt being pulled on by the sleeve caught me from my deathly thoughts and I looked up to see Tommy Joe smiling, then his lips started moving, shit he's talking.
"-And I thought it might be fun, what do you say?"
"What? I croaked
"I asked if you wanted to go to a smoothie place down the street, my treat." He smiled again
"Oh, I can't, sorry, I need to get home, maybe some other time."
I can't hang out with him, I can't even know him, because then he will know, and then I will ruin his life, I just can't.
"Come on, I owe you for showing me around, and I need a friend, so what do you say?"
Shit
"Um, s-sure,"
"Dude, no need to stutter, I don't bite," and he winked at me, he fucking winked, oh hell.
"Well I need to go…"
"Okay, But tomorrow for sure, and no weaseling out!"
When I got in Mr. chastely's classroom I was shaking, I regarded him with anxiety, and stood in the doorway waiting for him to grab his car keys.
He led the way to his car and hoped in and waited for me as I dragged myself inside the car and sat as far away from him as possible, he gazed at me and pulled out of the parking lot riding down the street.
Creeping in a shadow filled lot, I looked in my peripheral to see what he was doing, horror fired up my spine as I saw lust glaze his bleak eyes. He turned the car off and yanked me to the back, and all I could think to do to fight back was try for some punches but all that succeeds in is opening my wounds for the second time today, I tried pushing, but of course nothing ever works, he's much stronger than me.
He ripped off my shirt as I screamed and shoved, he forced his mouth on mine, and dragged his hand down my chest, the repulsive feel of his coarse hands touching me was enough to make me vomit, and I gagged and turned away from him.
"Come on BITCH, don't be shy, we've done this before, why do you constantly fight me on this? I could call you parents you, but you wouldn't like that would you? You little slut" He hissed in my ear.
I sobbed as he dragged his revolting hand over my nipple, pushing into my stomach and gripping the rim of my jeans, and started unbuttoning the layer of clothing. I felt his erection demand attention from my thigh as he tongued my neck, sucking and biting, but it didn't feel good, it felt like somebody had an iron and was pressing it to my body.
He was rubbing himself against me, licking down my body, hands in my pants, violating me, making me want to retch, and all of this goes back to my parents. Why hadn't they just left me on someone's door step, why hadn't I even been born, why couldn't I have died before I became any older than 8 years, that's when the horror started, the fights, the alcohol, the fucking fear that attached itself to my every sting of life that seemed to thread itself straight to me, leading the fucking terror straight to my heart.
Three fingers felt around my opening, bringing me back to reality, feeling around before thrusting in and roughly probing my insides. He forced my pants down the rest of the way, yanking off his as well, jerking his grimy fingers out, but before relief came he shoved them down my throat, gagging me and making me taste myself and blood.
I choked and spun over letting bile erupt from my throat ripping at my insides on its way out, leaving the fresh sting as the car smelt of vomit.
"You little fucking bitch, this car was fucking new," He hauled me upward and slapped my face hard, probably left a mark, but I didn't care at this point, all I wanted was out.
I whimpered as I got flipped back over and felt him at my entrance, he nudged me moaning loud, fondling my sex, he kissed the back of my neck and licked my back, leaving me nauseating shivers.
Agony shot through me as he thrust all in once leaving me with no pleasure, never pleasure, only pain, always pain. Even if he was gentle or sweet, I would never love him, hell I couldn't even find myself to like him, and I fear him, so much.
In nothing but torture I moved like a ragdoll, my head hit the back door of the car with ever thrust he shoved into me, making me screech from misery, his hands thick and slimy groping my body, pinching my nipples, yanking on my member, finger nails scrapping down my skin, the tongue, that of a cats dragging down my back up my neck.
Panting he shoved his sex into me, discomfort and agony coursing through my veins, with every pump of his hand, ever thrust of his cock, ever drag of his tongue pushing me farther and farther past just wanting to die, I craved death now.
Tears streaked my cheeks as he emptied himself inside of me, his dirty talk circling my mind as I wanted death to come and take me, maybe hell is better than this, because I can almost guarantee that I'm not getting into any kind of nirvana or heaven.
He pulled out and yanked on his clothes, hopped in the front seat and left me in the bad, eyes dead, body covered in filthy cum, I was completely miserable. We pulled in front of my house and all I could think about was how unhappy I was.
I tugged myself upward, pulled on my clothes and limped to the house.
I opened the door and almost silently walked inside, hiding my limp, though I probably smelled like sex, it wouldn't surprise me if my parents thought I forced myself on my 'respected' teacher and family friend, they've actually been told that by him.
Almost to the stairs, I reached the first step when I felt a hand grab the back of my coat and shove me to the wall.
"Your late fag, what were you doing huh? Fucking your fag boyfriend?"
"N-n-no," I choked out,
"You disgust me! Why don't you just die already you fucking fag, it's not like anybody will miss you, your NOTHING!"
The first punch is always the worst, and I felt that square in the jaw, maybe dear daddy stopped caring about the public, it's not like anyone looks at me with anything other than loathing anyways, nobody cares, they would probably think I just got beat up, maybe want to join in on the fun.
Fist after fist rammed into me, making stars pop behind my eyes.
He yanked me higher up the wall, slamming my head against the light, he threw me to the floor, grabbed a vodka bottle and slammed it into my head repeatedly, Eber wrenched my arm up and threw me across the room and seized my neck, and squeezed.
He dropped me and kicked my stomach, I felt ribs break, with tears yanking at my eyes, I swallowed my pain and with everything I had to shove down my pain to stand and stood, wobbling on my feet and walked up the stairs as soon as he seemed down with his little fit.
"Get the fuck to your room you fucking fag,"
I crawled up the stairs and dropped myself on the lone mattress and cradled my wounds, maybe it'll come this time, as black reached across my vision, blurring it I sang, doing the one thing that made me feel free I sang my feelings. singing softly, sadly, my voice thick with tears and pain, but I sang anyway, I sang my hurt, my pain, my agony, my feelings of everything before the beatings, before the rape, before my mom was murdered, before my dad took everything to his own hands.
Momma please stop cryin' I can't stand the sound, your pain is painful and it's tearin' me down
I hear glasses breaking as I sit up in my bed, I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said
You fight about money, 'bout me and my brother and this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin' up in world war 3 never knowing what love could be, you'll see, I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family? I promise I'll be better, mommy I'll do anything, can we work it out? Can we be a family, I promise I'll be better, daddy please don't leave
Daddy please stop yelling, I can't stand the sound, make mama stop crying cause I need you around
My momma she loves you, no matter what she said it's true, I know that she hurt you, but remember I love you too
I ran away today, ran away from the noise, ran away, don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice no way.
My voice died slowly as the dark rushed over my lids, I blacked out, listening to the rest of the song flow through my head, thinking of how much it displays everything before my parents split, before everything went bad. Then it went blank, I was out, with high hopes of maybe dying, maybe staying dead, gone.
I HOPE YOU LIKE! and if you want my story to go a certain way, you could message me about some ideas because i don't know, you might have a better idea than me:)) so throw it out there and review! THANKS baibai~