The Adventures of Elevator Lance:
Thanksgiving on Arus?
Lance's alarm clock went off as usual. Groggily, he reached over and smacked it to turn it off. He yawned and then forced his eyes open. Even though his vision was blurry, he could tell that someone or something was staring at him. As his vision cleared he realized he was nose to nose with a rather large turkey.
"Holy shit!" he exclaimed. Panicking, Lance tried to roll away, only to end up falling off the bed and landing face first onto the floor. It took about five minutes for Lance to pick himself up onto his knees. Leaning against the bed he looked over at the turkey.
The turkey cocked his head, but did nothing else but stare at Lance.
"I'm gonna take a guess and say you aren't one of Haggar's robeasts," Lance remarked.
The turkey just stared at him.
"I wonder if Chef Grinnan knows you're up here," Lance said more to himself than the turkey. Lance got to his feet, then walked into the kitchen. As he fixed his coffee he noticed that the turkey had followed him into the kitchen.
Lance tried to ignore the turkey as he got ready for work but everywhere he went, the turkey followed. As Lance left his quarters the turkey exited as well. Out in the hallway, Lance was greeted by two more turkeys.
Lance watched as the first turkey walked over to the two in the hallway, cocked his head, then turned to face Lance. As Lance began to walk to the elevator, the three turkeys followed him.
"Don't you three have some place to be?" Lance asked as he walked up to the elevator doors.
The three turkeys stood and watched as Lance waited impatiently for the elevator to arrive. As the doors opened and Lance entered, the turkeys followed him in.
The elevator moved down three floors before it stopped.
"Now what?" Lance asked.
The doors opened and two more turkeys entered.
Lance looked at the group of five turkeys standing beside him in the elevator. "You guys have enough members now to start a boy band."
As the elevator continued on its way to the first floor, the music coming over the speakers in the elevator car changed from boring elevator music to the 'mission: impossible' theme.
There was a noise above Lance. As he looked up he noticed the emergency panel move. He stepped aside just as the panel fell to the floor. Suddenly, a sixth turkey, this one wearing a repelling harness descended from the opening in the ceiling.
Lance watched in silence as one by one the turkeys escaped through the opening in the ceiling via the climbing harness. The last turkey, which was the one who repelled into the elevator, was hoisted up, he saluted Lance with his right wing then disappeared through the panel.
The elevator reached the first floor and Lance exited the elevator. He was greeted by a frantic man in a white chef's apron and hat.
"The turkeys, have you seen the turkeys?" he asked Lance.
Without saying a word, Lance pointed to the elevator, which was now closing.
Chef Grinnan fell to his knees and began to sob hysterically.
Lance walked calmly walked away. "If this is how Thanksgiving is going to be, I hate to see what Christmas will be like."