HI DARLINGS IM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE. Well, i've been adding paragraphs everyday, NEW IDEA:) So it won't take that long now, but i truly apologize for my jerkness. By the way, if anything is mispelled i blame my labtop, it doesn't know proper english. I can put the word "The" and it will honestly try to use spell check saying how the is supposed to be "Where" or something. its ridiculous. ANYWAYS Thank you so much for sticking with me, even with my stupidness with updating:(

song of the chapter

Terrible things-Mayday Parade(:

ADAM POV

I lay on the dirt ridden floor, face down, stripped, humiliated, I could handle rape, but with an audience, it was like being trapped, what was I supposed to do at a moment like this? I felt blood and semen dripped from my hole, it was almost always this rough so I was used to the way I was handled, but in front of other people, it was mortifying, not that I had much emotions left, but this was so much different. I felt disgusting.

By now you would think that embarrassment wouldn't be very high up on my meter of emotions, it should probably be fear and terror, or at the very least anger with my father, but all I wanted to do was hid in a dark corner. Someone I had never seen before had now seen something so intimate and torturous…

Trash.

Filth.

Yet again I'm left like scum, thrown back down once my use is over.

"Hey! Kid…Are you ok?" His handcuffs jingles as he tried to get closer, I moaned in pain as I pushed myself up and ignored him, it's not like he could help anyway. I put on fresh clothes because if I walked out the door surely I would be beaten, I might even drag Derek along with me.

Damaged.

Ruined.

After I had fresh clothes on, I started searching for the key that I knew was still in my room. I limped around the room and looked under the dresser, then the bed, and then I looked in the closet and found the silver key in the corner.

After picking it up I dragged my feet back over, trying my hardest not to limp but I couldn't not do it; I felt like I had been stabbed in the anus and I'm almost positive a couple of my ribs are broken, pathetic.

The whole time I had searched he hadn't said a word, just watched me as I looked through my stuff, sadly enough I think he's only still here because the restraints without them he would have been gone a long time ago, just like his fake sympathy. He's a cop, or FBI agent, my bad, but they don't care, I've tried to call them before, they said I was lying and hung up, that was the exact moment I realized nobody would trouble themselves with teenage melodrama. I had talked to deaf ears and they had seen me with blind eyes.

Broken.

Wounded.

I trudged over so I stood over him, his eyes looked like he wanted to say so much, he opened his mouth like he was about to, but I wouldn't let that happen, I didn't need his pity, I brought this on myself for being gay. This was my problem.

"I want you to promise me something before I unlock you," I spoke bluntly before he could form the question that was surely going through his mind.

How long had this been going on? Why? Do you even know?

Devastated.

Hideous.

"What," he stared up at me from his knees and waited for what I was going to say. Most likely, he wouldn't suspect I would want him to keep it quiet but I do, I wonder if people beg for him to take them away, or if they just kill themselves before he has a chance to save them.

"That you'll walk away without telling anyone, and you'll never see him again, he'll only bring you down, I'm sure you have a lovely family so don't bring this on yourself like I did." I would beg if I have to, but I would not let THIS travel outside this house, this would go with me until my heart stops.

"I can't do that," he almost sounded resolved, but I would make sure he left and would carry this secret to the grave. I didn't have much longer anyway, maybe then he could take down my father.

Repulsive.

Dreadful.

"Yes, you can, I'll let you out and you're going to climb out that window right over there and go on with your life like you never knew him." I didn't want to sound like this, but this was the only way the beatings would get worse, my dad had allies and they all would vouch for him, but Derek, all he had was himself, and I would have to stay with my father with worse beatings than before. I couldn't let it happen.

Ghastly.

Atrocious.

After contemplating how to answer he finally seemed to agree, he hung his head and nodded, so I unlocked his cuffs and let him free.

Instead of leaving right away like I asked he sat on my bed looked me in the eyes and voiced his thoughts, "If I leave and never tell anyone, will you at least answer some of my questions?" his eyes smoldered with anger directed toward Eber and Mr. Chastely and sympathy.

The desire to tell someone who wouldn't say a word was too precious to let pass, if I could talk now, then my conscience would have less weight that it's been carrying since Eber murdered my mother and brother and the beatings worsened.

"Ok," I didn't see any harm in answering questions when I would never see him again so I agreed, and when he started asking, I answered as honestly as I could, the only one I refused to answer was why, there was no reason or even purpose for what had tipped him over the edge. Even I didn't want to know.

The desire to be free.

That sounded nice.

Maybe I would have that longing someday.

Possibly.

When he left, I felt a little bit refreshed, ever since it began, I had never told a soul, and Tommy only knew about the cuts and luckily he still doesn't know the reason. If he did, I don't know what would happen, but I'm scared, terrified even, never had I involved myself so much in a persons life, I was attracted to him as a person in ways I wasn't supposed to be, and that would end bad for both of us, Eber would come for him, and he would have to go through the same thing as me. I couldn't let that happen.

Pitiful.

XxxTHE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOLxxx

I had gotten to school safely without getting beaten, and other than last nights after effects I was fine. I was kind of excited to see Tommy as well which was good and bad, one I shouldn't feel like this and two he was my only friend. So it was a pro and con deal.

The day dragged on, as usual, it was the last class of the day and I was so very eager, Tommy and I had planned to spend time together after school and we weren't going to his house, I was incredibly nervous there so I had asked if I could take him somewhere.

I saw him waiting at the front of the school leaning against the wall, and when he saw me, he pushed himself from the wall and walked towards me.

"Hi Adam," He said smiling, "where to today?" I joined him to his sports car his parents bought him as a pity present, and replied smiling for real in the first time in what felt like years, "It's a surprise."

REVIEW. PLEASE. I BEG YOU. IT HELPS WITH MY UPDATES. ITS CALLED CONFIDENCE BOOST. Also forgot to mention earlier, I've kind of been lacking in the Adommy department, i apologize, i was trying to develop Adam and Tommy of my story, so Next couple chapters i'll try to focus on them. Thanks for reading and being faithful to the story, until next time, adieu :3