So I'm thinking maybe a handful more chapters left before this story reaches the end. I'm really excited to be finishing my second multi-chapter fanficiton soon.

My math and history tests tomorrow? Not so excited.

So here it is! Please continue to review if you like it, I enjoy hearing the "ding" on my phone when I receive notifications about your feedback. I'm not going to lie. I get so happy when I see someone new has reviewed/followed/favourited.

Enjoy!

"…And now I understand why you fled so quickly," she finishes, keeping her gaze on her feet. Their boots crunch against the packing snow beneath them, leaving a beautiful trail of footprints behind them- Eli's big foot prints nearly casting a shadow over Clare's small ones. The snow is pristine, un-walked on before they had wandered over to this neck of the woods. This side of town tends to get the coldest this time of the year, but the bare trees are a pretty sight; the branches allow just enough sunlight to peek through, casting a gorgeous glow onto Eli's face. His eyes, Clare notices, are a warm forest green. His lips are such a perfect shape as well, a perfect Cupid's bow to compliment the structure of his face. He's nice to look at, from what she gathers from indulging peeks at him. Only twice she had caught his eyes the entire time they were talking, and twice her stomach whirled around in thrill. The soft smile on his face is incredibly handsome, and warm above that. She wonders how she could have missed his good looks the first time she saw him. "They'd been really cruel to you, but you stayed. I can't imagine why you would do that, though."

He laughs, playfully nudging her with his shoulders. His hands are jammed in his jacket pocket, and Clare can't help but feel a little disappointed. She really wants to hold his hand, but doesn't want to initiate such an intimate gesture just yet. She's tentative, and considering she had already so boldly pulled him onto her lap, it's his turn to do something of the sort. If he wanted to hold my hand, he would have already, she thinks sadly. He seems perfectly content just walking alongside her, and she doesn't want to push it.

"That's because I had something worthy staying for, silly," he teases, fondly smiling at her.

"But it was months and months of sneaking around," she persists. "Surely at some point, you wanted to call it quits."

"There were a few times," he says pensively, a thoughtful expression glazing over his face. Bringing up his thumb to gnaw on his nail, Clare takes advantage of this moment and looks at him. His forehead is slightly creased as he tries to remember. "But it was never because I thought it was too much work. Sometimes…I thought it would be much better for you to just go along with what your parents wanted. It meant less stress on you, and you wouldn't have to be constantly putting on a charade."

He lowers his hand, but instead of stuffing it back into his pocket, he lets it dangle next to Clare's.

"And then they threatened to lock you up when they found us together one night," he sighs, a tinge of remorse seeping through his words. "We ran away early the next morning."

Clare nods and listens; it's nothing she doesn't know of yet, but still hearing it come from him had a bigger affect on her. What a dysfunctional life she has, running away from a hard home life with a boy she loved. Deep inside, she wishes it doesn't have to be this way. If her parents would just allow her to be with whomever she wants, maybe things would be different. Maybe she would still remember her life, and maybe she'd be happily back at home. Maybe then, she wouldn't have to choose between her parents and Eli.

"What went through your mind, when we ran away that first time?" she asks, finally stopping to rest at a large oak tree. Whirling around to face Eli, literally, her breath is taken away by how close he's standing. Gripping the trunk for a bit of support, she adds in a quieter voice "Did you regret it?"

"No," he answers honestly, holding the other side of the tree with his hand. He looks down at her. "You weren't happy there, and all I wanted was for you to be happy. I also felt like….it was real, that day. More real, more serious than I thought it would get. At that point, I knew I had a responsibility to look after you now. I always had, but more so than ever before. It was all on me."

"Was it what you wanted though? To run away with me?"

His eyes drink her in, unfathomable and unreadable. Clare holds her breath while waiting for his answer. It's the answer she's been dying to ask the entire morning, as she knows, it can make or break everything that's built up to this point.

"Yes," he breathes, closing his eyes. "I wanted to be with you all the time. I wanted to be with you-"

Eli cuts himself off abruptly. "I uhm…never mind."

"What is it?" Clare asks gently. He shakes his head. "Tell me," she says, reaching out to touch his arm. She halts halfway, and both of them stare at her hovering hand. She quickly draws it back, stepping back sheepishly.

He rubs his neck, sporting what could have been a faint blush on his cheeks.

"I wanted to be with you forever," he murmurs, sounding like a small boy with a big hope in his heart.

"Do you still?" she blurts, slapping her hands to her mouth as soon as it comes out. Eli bursts into guffaws as she flushes a deep a red.

"I don't know, Clare," he says. Her pulse quickens at the sound of him saying her name. "Do you think I do?"

"Forever's too overrated, anyway," she says lightly, smiling to let him know that she's joking. "Give me something longer to hold on to."

Eli's eyes shine with amusement and tender lovingness.

"Then I don't think I can give you a definite date," he says softly, stepping closer. "I'll give you a day, but it's not mine yet. I'll ask you to say with me till then…."

"I think tonight I love you," Clare's eyes widen. "Tonight I Love You! That's the song I couldn't remember!"

"It was your favourite song," he chuckles. "And thanks Clare, I love you too."

She knows he's teasing, but the declaration still sends a rush of sheer excitement through her body- saying things aloud just made them more official, more tangible. And in that moment, as much as she doesn't want to get caught up, she can't help but throw away all caution out the window and dive in without hesitation. In that moment, all the trees seem to circle them, zoning in on only the two of them.

"I wish I could feel the same way," she whispers, nearly inaudible.

Eli's face drops, and in a perfectly heartbroken voice he asks "You… don't?"

"Eli…"

"I mean, it's okay if you don't," he quickly adds, throwing on a fake grin. "There's no rush or anything."

But Clare knows that he's lying, and that while there's certainly no rush, there is a bit of misery in loving someone who didn't love you back- especially when once upon a time, that someone had.

"I just don't want to say something I don't mean," she says gingerly. "I want to know, one hundred percent how I feel before declaring it."

She wraps her arms around herself, rolling all her weight onto her left foot. "Which brings me to my proposition."

"I'm listening," he says.

"Like I said, Jake isn't against this," she says shyly, gesturing between them "And like myself, he just wants some reassurance. I was wondering if-"

"We'd have some awesome floor sex to test out the waters?" he supplies with a smirk. "Aw, Clare, all you have to do is ask."

"Shut up," she scolds, slapping him. Blushing profusely, she narrows her eyes at him. Eli flashes a white grin at her in return. "I was wondering if we could go on a first date, but if you're going to be a teenage boy about it-"

"I am a teenage boy, Clare," he rolls his eyes, interrupting her again. "I'm going to make gross jokes no matter what."

"Were you always this impossible?" she groans, palming her face.

"Yep, and you loved me anyway."

"Well what was I thinking?" she mutters under her breath.

"Probably that the lips that said all those nasty things kissed you damn well…but you don't remember that, now do you?"

"What are you suggesting, Eli?"
"Mhmm," he mocks thoughtfulness, boldly taking her waist with his bare hands. "I think you know what I'm getting at."

"Eli," Clare murmurs, wriggling out of his grasp. Against what she really wants, her better judgement triumphs, and she resists her impulses.

"As much as I'd love taking you out on a date- which I'd be honoured to do later on- I want you to believe in me. And I have a proposition to add to your proposition."

"What's that?" she asks.

"If I kiss you, you'll feel something bubbling inside of you," he states with confidence. "Your heart will feel like it's dropping a hundred feet, and your bones will feel like jelly."

She blinks. Is he proposing what she thinks he is?

"That's not even a suggestion," she stammers, stalling for time.

"Is that a yes?" he smiles wickedly.

"You're being presumptuous," Clare throws at him, unable to think on her feet. He can't be serious! "You can't just expect me to kiss you like that!"

"If you don't want to, I understand," he shrugs.

And he seems so okay with that too. The nerve! Indecisive, flustered, and irked all at once, all Clare wants to do is wipe that offhand smirk off his face. How can he be so calm and collected about the whole thing, when here she is, standing and having a mental freak-out? Especially since on day one, it was the other way around!

He appears to have sensed her panic, and lets out a chuckle. This pushes Clare to make a decision soon, and by soon, it meant now.

There's a faint buzzing in her ear. It's now or never.

She stretches up onto her tippy-toes and in the midst of his laughter, Clare interrupts him with the most mind-blowing kiss that sets the hairs on his arms standing up. She presses against his with such passion and determination, Eli is caught completely off guard and staggers back a bit. His eyes must have flown open in shock, but Clare doesn't register anything but the feel of his lips smashing against her with the same kind of ardency. He pushes into her, but not in the rough kind of way- it's all the past feelings poured into that one kiss, so feverish and so full of eagerness. She feels him squeeze his eyes shut, all while prying her mouth open to let his tongue intrude. She welcomes his hot breath entering her mouth without vacillating for a second.

She doesn't realize that his hands are gripping the hem of her shirt until they finally find her waist, agitatedly fumbling around until they are under her shirt. With one great exertion of force, and without breaking off, he lifts her up and brings her closer to him. Clare acts instinctively and wraps her legs around his torso, throwing her arms around his neck. There are Goosebumps there that are not from the cold.

Simultaneously, they slowly break away. Their breathing is deep and loud, hearts beating so fast through their shirts. Clare touches her nose with his, pressing her forehead against his.

"I love you," he gasps, grip tightening on her. The teasing and jokes are gone, and the neediness and desperation makes an appearance. It's not about proving a point anymore. It's much more than spontaneity. "Please tell me you love me too."

It's then that she realizes that he can't joke about it anymore.

"I can't," she says abruptly, pushing him away. He recedes, defeated, and the hands that had held her close to him hang limp by his sides.

"So that's it?" he says hoarsely, sounding stunned. "You can kiss me, you can lead me on, but then you tell me you don't love me?"

"No!" she cries, shaking her head. "See what you're doing? You're pressuring me!"

"How am-"Eli starts in aghast.

"Don't you understand? To me, this is all new! You're essentially still a stranger to me, and you expect me to make the biggest commitment I can just like that?"

"This kiss was a bad idea," he says in a strained voice, practically ignoring everything she had just said. "It was stupid to think that any of this would work."

And with that comment, Eli begins to walk away. Clare, with her eyes tearing in distress, reaches out and grabs his wrist, stopping him from turning away. He can't walk away. Not like this, and certainly not now.

"Eli, stop," she begs. "You just have all these expectations of me, and I- I'm afraid I can't meet them."

"What did I expect of you?" he asks in outrage. "All I wanted was your love."

"That's just it- my love! Please believe me when I say that you're special to me and-"

"-not special enough to love, apparently," he mutters resentfully.

"And," she says, "that I believe I had loved you, not long ago. I know, Eli, and I know it's still there- how many times do I have to tell you? It's just going to take a little time to find again, and I want to be sure of it before I tell you. Why are the words so important to you, anyway? You know how I feel- isn't that enough?"

"Because, Clare," Eli says in a low voice, looking bleakly at her. "We had it all. And to have it all ripped away from you without warning…it hurts. And I just want it back to way it was before."

"I know that, you know."

"It hurts so much, Clare," he whimpers, staring at the ground. "It hurts pretending that I'm okay with this."

"Oh, Eli," she breaths, sliding her arms around him and pulling him close.

And even though he's taller than her, he finds a way to rest his cheek on her shoulder. She gently kisses his forehead, gingerly holding him like she would hold broken pieces.

"Please be patient with me," she whispers into his ear, caressing his back.

-x—

They stay there, wound together until evening breaks down on them. Eli doesn't know how it is that time could have gone by that quickly, but it had. Being wrapped up in Clare's arms feels like home to him, and as he closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of her body emitting from her, it's like Heaven in the midst of a hell-ish place. It's Heaven because there's no rush- not once had she asked him if he was done, or if he was okay. She didn't speak, just continued to rub his back in a comforting motion.

He knows she had never meant to hurt him. It would just take a while to get past the deep aching in his heart.

"I have to take you home," he says sadly, forcing his body away from the warm haven. The cold air rushes to him attack his face at once, stabbing at his cheeks and hoping to make up for some lost time.

"Okay," is all she says.

The ride back is silent. The only thing that can be heard is the sound of the sun setting, fading into a beautiful artwork of orange and yellows.

"Will you take me out tomorrow?" Clare asks when he reaches her house.

He smiles. "Where could you like to go?"

"Anywhere, as long as it's with you."

The porch lights flicker on, a sure sign that they're being watched. He doesn't have very much time left with her, but he's glad, at the very least, that she wants to see him again tomorrow. "I'll see what I can do."

She nods, eyes darting towards her home, and then back at him.

"You should go," he says softly, dropping his hand from the steering wheel.

"They'll be waiting," she sighs, unbuckling her seatbelt. "Bye, Eli."

With one departing glance at him, she turns and opens the passenger door. As she climbs out, Eli keeps the small plastered on his face, and intends to until she's safely inside. He nothing more than to curl up in a ball and lay warm in bed, and maybe stay there until he's ready to face the world again. How is it possible, that someone could be so glad and miserable at the same time? Everything is so close to him, within reach. And yet, his fingers are unable to stretch out any further. They're not long enough to seize what he wants, and it kills him.

He has to keep moving forward, though, and so he starts up Morty again. The rough engine cuts into the noiseless evening, and he prepares to step down on the accelerator.

"Wait!"

The hearse jerks back, and Eli turns around. To his confusion, Clare is seen running towards him- away from her house.

"What are you doing?" he asks, taken aback by her panting and sudden change of direction.

"I-I…you didn't kiss me goodnight," she says in a small voice, looking at him in a way a child would look up to a tall adult.

Oh. Such a small request to ask, but such a big impact to his heavy heart. Her pretty blue eyes are sparking with hope, hoping to have some sort of reminder to get her through the night.

"Then get on over here," he grins, leaning out to capture her lips in a sweet, soft kiss.

It would get him through the night, too.