Ch.2 Catwoman-Batman Irony
Author's Note: And no, to those who've been with me since Chapter one of the first story, I've not forgotten about the promised Costume Party. To those who've just started reading, I advise to read the first story, 'The Damnable Affair'. As always, read and review my lovelies. Thank you and review!
Kate drove back to the apartment. While Howard and Bernadette left for the Wolowitz house to dress for the Costume Party this afternoon, Leonard and Penny ventured into their own home to get ready as well. Rajesh had gone to his apartment (or, rather, the 'Raj Mahul') to plan for his debut, and possibly get drunk enough to reign his memory as going to the Comic Con rather than an average costume party. Since finding out a week ago that everyone they knew, even Kripke (to Kate and Sheldon's dismay) would be there, it had steadily been wracking everyone's minds, even Penny's and Bernadette's.
Sheldon and Kate opened the door to the apartment; Sheldon entered and placed his travel bag on rolling chair in front of his work desk and glanced at Kate when she entered and put her paintball gear bag on the armchair. She left wordlessly to the bathroom; he heard the door shut and then a few minutes later, she was dressed in plain jeans and a plain black shirt, no Batman on it (for once, and also to Sheldon's surprise and slight dismay). Was something wrong?
Kate silently went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, bringing out ham and cheese, then withdrawing the wheat bread from the bread cupboard. Sheldon continued watching her; he placed his hands behind his back and walked up to her, entreating her interesting behavior with interest and also caution.
"Kate," said Sheldon.
"Yes, Sheldon?" Kate replied. Her voice was pleasant; so she wasn't angry.
"May I ask what you are doing?" asked Sheldon.
"I'm making lunch."
"At this hour?" Sheldon inquired. He glanced indicatively to the stove clock and said, "It's already three o'clock. And,"-he crossed his arms casually—"If I'm not mistaken, Stuart insinuated that there would be food and optional beverages at the comic book store."
Kate untied the twistie tie and said to him pointedly, "You didn't see him prepare the food."
"Of course not; we were playing paintball," said Sheldon. With a burst of enthusiasm, he added, "By the way, I couldn't help but admire your candor towards Kripke; alarming and a little pervasive for my comfort, but I must say, you'd make a wonderful co-captain if ever we are confronted by a war."
Kate smiled at his compliment, which apparently to others, was a rather rare occasion.
"To be quite honest, Sheldon," said Kate, taking out four loaves of bread, "I'm not hungry for finger foods at the party, or the cokes. I'm hungry for actual lunch: ham and cheese sandwich." She smiled pointedly, saying, "you're watching me prepare it. Would you care for a sandwich?"
Sheldon shrugged, saying, "I can eat." He sat on the left stool, as was his seat, and clasped his hands in front of him. "Kate."
"Yes?"
"Are you still interested in knowing the price of your sobriquet?" Sheldon inquired sincerely.
Kate glanced at him, her hands held the unopened slices of cheese. She gazed at him. If he could read her expression, he'd know that Kate did want to know the price, but when he continued looking at her inquisitively, she shook herself mentally. He couldn't read facial cues or peculiar body language, except the most vivid. Kate continued to make the sandwich, first Sheldon's, which she placed on a plate in front of him, and then hers.
"Sheldon, unlike Penny and Bernadette, I care very little about the price of anything my boyfriend gives me." Kate returned. She gave him a logical look and said, "Besides, learning its authenticity and its origin is clue enough for me."
Sheldon gave her a curious look, saying with a confused tone, "But, Kate, you told Leonard that females prefer to be informed on the price."
"I was messing with him," Kate denounced, handing him three napkins—he placed on each side of his plate (one for face, one for hand) and then the third on his lap. He then placed his sandwich between his hands. He still looked confused however.
"So you were being ironic?" Sheldon returned.
"Basically, yes." Kate replied. She smiled and said, "I found the whole thing to be amusing."
"Really? I found it to be annoying," said Sheldon. "The whole issue is rather despicable, placing value of an emotion on the price of an object."
Kate grinned and stated in a matter-of-fact tone, "Isn't that what you did when you bought this?" She indicated her gleaming sobriquet with her hand casually.
Sheldon looked at her, and his right eye twitched twice as did the tic on the corner of his mouth. He then said practically, "That's not the point."
"Isn't it?" Kate remarked, smirking.
He gazed at her with the notion of arguing but Kate waved it away, stating she was only messing with him as well.
"Kate, I think Penny's attributes for non-whimsical joking is rubbing off on you; you may want to reduce your time around her for the benefit of this relationship," Sheldon told Kate seriously. He bit into his sandwich and said emphatically, "Oh, lord, this is good!"
Kate ate her sandwich as well, enjoying the fresh taste. After lunch had ensued and Sheldon expressed his liking for her deli skills, Kate glanced at her watch. It was three-thirty. She felt her phone vibrate and wasn't surprised to see that it was Penny that had texted her, the message following: Are you all dressed yet?
Sheldon noticed her glance at her phone and he inquired the matter.
"Apparently, this is the time to conform and get in our costumes," Kate remarked, gazing at her phone with a belated smile.
"Oh goody!" Sheldon exclaimed. He took off to the bedroom (his) and closed the door. Kate smiled after him and she texted back.
We're getting there.
Penny's text back was 'See you in a few'.
Kate grinned, teeth showing. She then went into her own room and began to change from Dr. Kate Amy Burns to Selina Kyle, or more widely known, 'Catwoman'.
Sheldon was a six-foot two-inches tall Batman as he stood in the living room. He'd taken the liberty of acclaiming the replica of Micheal Keaton's Batman attire. It was more believable that he could be Batman as the outfit made his height flatter him; he donned the cap and smiled at himself in front of the bathroom mirror. The impish grin was unlike the dark knight crusader, but he couldn't help himself. He'd donned the black ink around his eyes to mimic the way all the other Batman. In spite of himself, he'd still be Dr. Sheldon Cooper, rather than the playboy Bruce Wayne. Still, he could be Batman.
Sheldon scoffed and said in a low, raspy growl, "I'm Batman!" He grinned impishly once more and knew that in another universe, he was the Batman, defender and protector of Gotham City's Gothamites. He entered the living room just in time to see that Howard and Bernadette had entered the room, dressed as Aragorn and Arwen; Bernadette wore a black wig which fell to her waist, and donned the beautiful replica of Liv Tyler's attire while saving Frodo from the Ring Wraiths in 'The Fellowship of the Ring'. Howard wore scruffy beard and the attire that Aragorn donned while being crowned King of Gondor, in the 'Return of the King'.
When the two Man and Elf saw Sheldon, they grinned broadly.
"This is going to be fun," said Bernadette wistfully. She looked at Howard. "You should have bought the Evenstar for you to wear."
"We can borrow Kate's," said Howard.
Sheldon gave him a look, returning "Don't be silly." He looked at Bernadette. "I must say, Bernadette, while you attain the short stature of a hobbit, you maintain an admirable stance of being a high-Elf."
"Thank you, Sheldon," said Bernadette. She looked at Howard. "I thought you said Sheldon never gives away compliments like they're candy!"
"He doesn't," Howard lamented. "He's in a good mood because of the party."
"On a contrary," said Leonard as he entered, dressed as the Green Lantern. Beside him was Hawk Girl, or more proudly known, Penny, who was wearing large wings and carried an 'electrified' mace, although the electric part was a bit understated, as it held no glow of any kind.
"You couldn't find a glow-in-the-dark battle mace?" Howard suggested, glancing at the less-than-convincing mace that Penny held.
"Well, it was out of stock," Leonard stated.
"Like everyone wants to be Hawk Girl," Penny pointed out. She sat on the far right cushion's arm. She glanced around and saw that Kate wasn't around. "Where's Catgirl?"
"Cat woman," corrected Sheldon, suddenly annoyed. "Penny, you're Hawkgirl for crying out loud, you should know your adversaries by now." He gave Leonard a look and said, "I hold you responsible for her ignorance."
"Give her a break; she's dressed as a Thagarian on Thanksgiving," Leonard persuaded. "Remember all the coaxing we had to do in order for to be Wonderwoman so we could all be Justice League?"
"I remember," said Howard. "Zack replaced you as Superman."
Leonard gave him a look but Howard emphasized with a grin and said, "Best day ever."
Penny merely became nonchalant and she turned to Sheldon enthusiastically.
"So you're the Dark Knight?" summarized Penny. "And Kate's Catwoman. Are you all role-playing or is this just a whimsy thing?"
"What are you talking about?" Sheldon said, sitting in his spot.
"Well," said Penny coolly. "Leonard and I are going to impersonate a green man and a hawk woman all night, based on their personalities. Howard and Bernadette are going to be Aragorn and Arwen all evening, probably speaking the Shakespearan way of the Middle-Earth, and you, Sheldon, are going to be Batman, who exonerates infatuation with a cat-impersonating woman."
Sheldon looked at Leonard and said impressively, "Have you also taught her magic tricks as well?"
"Oh stop," Leonard complained. "She's smart, Sheldon. You just have to give her a chance." He grinned emphatically when Penny gushed and thanked him for his compliment; the two exchanged a kiss.
Sheldon became disgusted, saying, "Oh frickety frack, not this again." He shook his head, standing. "If you two are going to start your honey-moon, I beg you to do it elsewhere."
Penny gave him a look that meant otherwise but Leonard gave in and he stopped the mushy nonsense before he became too desirous for the ravishing Hawkgirl in the apartment. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette sat together on the far right cushion.
"You might as well sit down," Sheldon denoted to Leonard and Penny who were standing, waiting for Kate. "From what I understand, Kate's been making her costume from scratch and she's been well-advised to be prepared before the time comes when we must leave; she'll take some time."
"How do you know she'll take a long time?" Penny asked.
Sheldon gave her a look, at which Penny raised her eyebrows. It was clear that while Penny was asking the simple conversational question, Sheldon had taken a bit of offense being questioned of Kate's habits. Penny smiled gently then opened her mouth to talk to Leonard but the door opened and there stood Rajesh; he was a brown Harry Potter.
"Helloooo!" Rajesh said, smiling like a dope.
"Hit the bar a little too early, didn't you, pal?" Howard stated, glancing at the slightly unbalanced boy-who-lived.
"Why are you Harry Potter? I thought you were Voldemort." Penny said.
"Shh!" Howard, Leonard, and Sheldon hissed.
Bernadette and Penny glanced at Sheldon expectantly; by this time, they knew he'd offer an explanation of their actions, with or without an indicative notion. As predicted, he did.
"Never say his name out loud!" Sheldon said. "It's taboo-ed."
"Taboo-ed?" repeated Bernadette.
Howard turned to his Arwen and said, "Yeah. In the Deathly Hallows, when one said the Dark Lord's name, Death Eaters materialized and they brought you to the Ministry of Magic, or if you were unluckier, to the Malfoy Manor."
Penny smiled and said, "I remember that part of the movie; that was awesome."
Sheldon turned to her and said apathetically, "You'll watch Harry Potter on a whim but not the Star Trek series? Are you crazy?"
"I'm not crazy," Penny replied smartly, "but then again, I've not been tested. No, Sheldon; I've watched the Harry Potter movies with my past boyfriends and they liked it rather well, so I figured 'why not'?"
Sheldon looked at Leonard and said, "Well, that's answered your question, Leonard."
"Which is?" Leonard remarked, clearly befuddled.
"When you asked 'What the hell do we even talk about after coitus?' That's your answer: Talk about Harry Potter and its riveting adventures." Sheldon stood, glancing at the clock. "This is odd; Kate's normally out here by now."
"Don't worry," Penny said.
Sheldon and all of them glanced at Penny apathetically, at which point she threw her hands in the air and said, "I know, I know, I forgot who I was talking to."
" 'I forgot to whom I was talking'," corrected Sheldon after a pause. "And how can one not worry? She's probably making like you did when you decided you weren't going to the New Years' Day party."
"Which was?" Penny offered, though her challenging tone made Sheldon hesitate.
"Slam the door in my face," Sheldon recollected.
"I didn't slam the door in your face because I didn't want to go to the party. I slammed the door in your face because you called me 'beefy'." Penny responded defensively.
Sheldon shrugged, obviously not seeing the wrong in it. He sighed anxiously. He turned to Leonard to question Kate's continued absence but at that moment, Howard whistled low. His wife and the others looked in the hallway to see Kate, dressed as Selina Kyle, her costume resembling one of Michelle Pfieffer's. The stitching was obvious but the costume formed around her body, giving the slender, seductive look. Kate's smile became more mischeivous as Catwoman, and the bright green eyes were cat-like, giving the effect a magnanimous approach.
"Hey, Batman," Kate purred, standing behind Sheldon.
Hearing her, Sheldon turned and looked at her. Naturally, the effect of her costume's sexual appeal had a major pin on Howard and Leonard (despite their wife and fiancee, respectfully) but it seemed to have no affect on Sheldon for he merely looked at her with a spawn of annoyance.
"What took you so long?" Sheldon stated.
"I was painting this on," Kate remarked plainly. She gestured to her costume. "It's not exactly easy to get into it."
"I wouldn't think so," Leonard said, looking at Kate with wide eyes.
"Hey, Lantern," Penny said curtly, "eyes over here."
Leonard looked at Penny affectionately, saying, "Don't worry, Shayera, you're my one and only."
He gave her a kiss on her cheek which made Penny grin. Rajesh walked over to Kate and smiled happily.
"Hello, Catwoman. I'm Harry Potter."
Kate looked at him and said, "You're a bit tan to be Harry Potter."
"I'm the Boy-Who-Lived." Rajesh replied, apparently ignoring her remark. "Would you like to take a ride on my broomstick?"
Sheldon rolled his eyes. At first, Kate thought he might've gotten the innuendo but then he said, "Oh please, Koothrappali, you didn't even bring a broom."
Rajesh gave Sheldon a cool, distant look but when Kate had not reacted to his offer, Rajesh simply smiled at her and they all began going down the stairs to the Batmobile. As Kate slid into the driver's seat, she chuckled in a low voice. The animalistic snigger made Sheldon look at her.
"What?" he said.
"It's ironic."
"What is?"
"Batman's in the passenger seat of the Batmobile and Catwoman is driving while Harry Potter, HawkGirl, Arwen, and Aragorn sit in the back." She shrugged. "It's amusing."
Sheldon pondered her amusement for a moment before exhaling a snicker of his own. Yes, the crossover of three different genre-based series and movie was a bit bemusing, especially while Kate drove the Batmobile to the comic book store.
"So," said Howard from the back—he wrapped his arm around Bernadette's shoulders, "how many do you think will be at this party?"
"I don't know," Kate returned from the front. "All of us, Kripke that we know of, and since he's there, I'll just assume everyone we hate will be there too."
"Hey," said Penny. "Is Wil Wheaton going to be there?"
Sheldon turned to look at her and said, "Why would he be there?"
"Because Kripke knows you hate him," Penny replied as this was the obvious thing in the world. "If anything, you can show off your new girlfriend. Decked out in the sexy prada of a Catwoman, you'll make him envious of not only your mind but what you have and he doesn't."
Sheldon considered this, turning to Kate.
"Is it the relationship paradigm to show off a girlfriend in the eyes of the enemy to spawn jealousy in a coveted frenzy?" Sheldon remarked.
Kate looked at him pointedly, saying, "Sheldon, you've done that before."
"Really? When?" Sheldon replied, clearly shocked.
"When you introduced me to Dr. Gablehauser at Cal-Tech," said Kate. "You spun off all my degrees and left him flabbergasted."
"Flabbergasted is a funny word," Rajesh stated.
"It is," Kate remarked. She looked immediately to Sheldon saying, "I didn't mind in the slightest, but I do have to say that he's a bit on the downlow when it comes to charm."
"He's a scientist," reminded Leonard. "We don't exactly have that spin."
"I disagree," said Bernadette with a squeaky voice. "You all are very charming. Even Sheldon."
Sheldon glanced at her for a clear expression of continued befuddlement but as he turned to Kate for answers, she merely agreed with the microbiologist.
When they arrived, they all clamored out of the Batmobile. Greeting them was the comic book store owner, Stuart Bloom. He was dressed as a hobo, or maybe that was his actual clothing but when he greeted them, he held out a jar and said, "Give me a dollar."
"Why?" Sheldon asked.
Stuart smiled and said, "I'm a hobo for Thanksgiving. I figure I'd get some money out of it."
"Oh, funny," Penny noted.
Stuart recognized her as Hawk Girl, and said with intended flattery, "You look like a natural Thagarian, Penny." When he saw Bernadette, he exchanged compliments with her, adding, "This is the closest I'll ever get to meeting an Elf."
"You look like a natural hobo," Bernadette replied, although she seemingly regretted her words when everyone around her gave her a look of surprise and unmasked surprise, although Sheldon was chuckling.
When Kate met Stuart, his eyes widened with shock and awe.
"Hey, Stuart...er...hobo," Kate said.
"Well—I—er—gauh," Stuart stammered. He cleared his throat and suddenly paused. He then said, "Sorry, I had to get my words together. You look fabulous, Kate...Selina Kyle."
"Well, thank you...you rag tag bum," said Kate, smiling genuinely.
"How'd you get that?" asked Stuart, noting the close resemblance to the actress' costume.
Sheldon stood next to her and interjected, "She made it."
"Oh, wow, really?" Stuart gushed, staring at Kate's handiwork with an expression of admiration. "It looks so real!" He touched her arm and said, "Nice."
"Thank you," returned Kate. She looked at Sheldon. "We should meet up with the rest of the gang."
"We have a gang?" replied Sheldon.
Kate shook her head, chuckling. She took his arm and he gazed at her curiously, but then just accepted it. When they entered, Howard and Bernadette had already struck up a conversation with Leslie Winkle, who was dressed as Wonderwoman; accompanying her was Kripke—apparently, since the Paintball fight, they'd become a unit. Kripke was a masked Iron Man, although not even the mask could hide his obvious bruising that had been Kate's revenge.
"Well, well, well," said a voice from behind Sheldon. "Look who it is."
Sheldon's lips pursed and he turned to see Wil Wheaton. Of course, he dressed as himself for the costume party really had no limitation.
"Wheaton," said Sheldon venomously.
"You came as Batman," said Wheaton, clearly amused. "I thought you'd have brought Batgirl with you."
"Batgirl and Batman aren't a couple," noted Kate, who turned.
Wheaton glanced at her, first with shock, then with flattery. His eyes took her figure in with shameless reverie and he smiled after a while.
"Well, who's this?" Wheaton drawled. "I don't think I've met this feline before."
"You haven't," Kate replied. "And you'll never meet another one like me."
"Confident," Wheaton complimented. "Very attractive. What's your name?"
"Selina Kyle."
Wheaton took her hand in his and said in a more flattering deep voice, "Your real name."
Kate was taken off guard. Perhaps it was the celebrity and fame that came with his formal disposition but she didn't deny his attractiveness, although his offensive behavior towards Sheldon—and her feelings for the latter—made him less appealing than he would've been if he'd not insulted him in the first place.
"Dr. Kate Burns," said Kate.
"Wow, you doctors are everywhere," Wheaton laughed. He kissed the back of her shiny leather hand and said seductively, "But quite as curvy as you."
Sheldon frowned. Even he knew that Wheaton was flirting with Kate. Kate glanced at the Star Trek celebrity and said with a slightly hinged voice, "I'm going to get something to drink." She turned to Sheldon and said, "Do you want anything, honey?"
Wheaton quirked an eyebrow at the the term of endearment and Sheldon shook his head once. Kate smiled at him then walked towards the bar. Wheaton watched her; when the feline was out of sight and out of earshot, Sheldon gave him a hard knock on the shoulder.
"Ow, what was that for!" Wheaton barked.
"She's not for you!" Sheldon retorted coldly.
Wheaton watched as Sheldon cantered after the ambiguous feline. Leslie stood next to him and Wheaton glanced her up and down as well.
"Well, hello Wonderwoman," Wheaton drawled.
"Don't flatter yourself," Leslie scoffed.
Wheaton shrugged and looked after where Kate had gone, saying dismissively, "What's with Catwoman and Batman?"
"Kate's Sheldon's girlfriend," said Leslie apathetically.
"Really?" replied Wheaton.
Leslie laughed, saying, "Always the surprise."
"Aren't you surprised?"
"I was at first but what I hope is for Kate and Cooper to become angry with each other during paintball and Kate let loose a ton of rage with her rifle; With that said, Cooper's on the ground writhing in pain and then I get a shot at the title," said Leslie. She drank her beer. Wheaton gave her an alarmed look, to which she added as an afterthought: "I had a hard time admitting it but Kate's a sure shot when it comes to Paintball. Plus, she's got the heart of a lion."
"Are you admiring her?" Wheaton replied, quite convinced that Leslie was.
"I don't admire her," said Leslie. She shrugged with consideration, saying, "But in another world, we'd be best friends." She took another drink of her beer and said, "Looking at her, I wouldn't mind being more."
Wheaton gave her a look and Leslie seemed to think the same. She put the beer in the trashcan and said, "I think it's the booze." She merely walked back to accompany Iron Man, AKA, Kripke.