A/N: Don't underage drink! That's bad! Okay, goodie-two-shoes message is over. Now enjoy this chapter that DEFINITELY doesn't involve underage drinking…at all ;)

Disclaimer: Not Mine! (Gosh I'm so lazy with these, I can't even form a coherent sentence…)

I remember…well…honestly, my memory of my first date is pretty foggy. To say it involved some drinking doesn't quite cover it.

It turns out Ryuji is pretty well known at this bar, because there was a lot of teasing involved as soon as I entered.

That was okay. I knew I was nothing more than Ryuji's latest boy-toy. I didn't want anything more than that.

The point of this date was to make Bakura jealous anyways. I even thought about standing Ryuji up, but then realized I was a sixteen year old boy with zero dating or sexual experience and it was about time I got some.

People dated casually all the time, right?

Yah…well, my nerves were quickly settled after the first beer. It didn't even taste good, but it definitely helped drown the butterflies that were all aflutter in my stomach.

"So Marik…is this how you normally dress outside of school? Or was this ensemble just for me?"

"Eh…this is how I normally dress. Something wrong with that?"

"No, no. You won't catch me complaining. I like a guy who's not afraid to show a little skin."

While I couldn't help being a bit thrown off by Ryuji's heavy flirting, I was also flattered.

I had opted to simply wear my favorite purple hoodie that was, okay, a bit on the short side, and the leather pants which I'd bought with Seto's money a week ago just to spite him.

On the upside, if Ryuji liked them, that probably meant I could attract other guys in them, right?

This date was just an opportunity to learn more about 'dating'. I didn't plan to stay a wallflower forever, after all.

It helped that the alcohol was quickly loosening us up.

You'd think Ryuji would have a higher tolerance than me, but that wasn't the case. When he left for the washroom at one point, the 'hot' waitress he'd mentioned decided to come over and give me some advice.

"Ryuji's a bit of a wildcard. He's harmless really; a couple slaps will set him straight. You get to know how he is. First, it's the frisky, physical stage. You're best to keep him there if you want a good time. But if you let him keep drinking…then he gets talkative."

I was left to ponder this. When he returned from the toilet, we ate our food and drank some more.

I found out that his favorite color was red, he had that dice earring because he was always trying to get lucky, and that he lived alone with his father.

Overall, he actually wasn't bad to talk to. I found his company…enjoyable.

It wasn't at all like talking with Yuugi, or Anzu, or any of my other friends. It wasn't just the flirting either. This was a date. It made me realize how lonely I'd been for romantic company.

Unlike Ryuji, I wasn't one of those people who thought that everyone needed some sort of partner at all times, but I was starting to realize it was definitely a nice thing to have.

"Hey, Ryuji? Did you ever think about just being single for awhile? Like, not dating at all?"

"Can't do that, Marik."

"Why not?"

"I have a rare condition. I need to have sex at least once every seventy two hours."

"Why seventy two?"

"You know, three days and all that! The magic number! Here, have another shot!"

Obviously, we had hit the playful stage. He wasn't so much interested in talking and flirting anymore as acting on it.

Since I'd only had my first kiss a week ago, I wasn't quite sure how to handle this, but I think I did pretty well.

I'd been to enough parties that I knew how to move my body, so when he managed to get a quarter into the jukebox, we made quite the pair on the dance floor.

And when dancing turned into kissing, I did alright with that, too. It wasn't as good as Bakura's kiss (in Ryuji's defense, I'm pretty sure he was quite a bit more inebriated than Bakura had been) but it was longer and involved tongue and I learned a lot from it.

When we returned to the bar, it became less about learning and more about figuring out when I was supposed to be drinking and when I was supposed to be making out, and what was I supposed to do when his hand was on my thigh like that?

It felt good, but I also felt a bit guilty. After all, I was sort of just using him. I'd only flirted with him to annoy Bakura, and Bakura wasn't even here to annoy.

My guilt battled my teenaged hormones.

"So Marik, you wanna take this back to my place~?"

"How about another drink first?"

Not so surprisingly, it didn't take much convincing to make Ryuji drink more. I do not know how he kept that figure if he always drank like this.

It was a very nice figure though…wow, was I drunk, or was I starting to get kind of horny for my date?

I guess that happened on dates with hot upperclassmen.

Unfortunately for me, it looked like I'd missed my opportunity. It seemed Ryuji was transitioning from horny-drunk to 'talkative'-drunk –whatever that meant.

"You know Marik…I'm pretty messed up aren't I?"

"Nah, you don't seem messed up to me. Want another shot?"

"Sure, thanks. But that's just the thing isn't it? We all try so hard to hide it, but we're all pretty messed up. Wait, no…not everyone. Just me. Especially me. Whatever. I'm a hot mess."

"Hot, I can agree with."

We both giggled and resumed kissing, a little more eagerly on my part this time, but he pulled away far too quickly for my liking.

"No, I mean it, Marik. I'm a mess."

I sighed, getting annoyed with his reluctance. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?

I started another beer, and it helped wash away my irritation. I was about to make another move on Ryuji, but when I turned to face him, he had his head down in his arms on the bar.

Great. He was probably passed out.

That meant I'd have to call Ishizu and she would not be happy to hear from me. For some reason…I couldn't really remember why right then.

To my surprise, Ryuji actually began to talk, apparently not as passed out as I'd believed.

"I'm a mess, I'm a mess, I'm a mess…Marik, I'm a mess."

"So you've said."

"You know my dad thinks I'm a total fuck up? All he thinks I want to do is…well…fuck and get drunk. Which I do."

"Well, we're already drunk. You wanna fuck?"

I never would have made that suggestion if I was sober, but it didn't matter, because Ryuji didn't even seem to know I was there. He just continued his melancholy monologue while staring into his glass.

"Sometimes I just think what am I doing with my life, you know? Other than girls and guys and…everyone's right, I'll do anyone. Just so I don't have to think about anything."

"Thinking does get hard, doesn't it?"

"I know, right? But when I do get to thinking, I just think I don't wanna be like my dad. I don't want to fall in love and then lose that person forever. My mom, she died when I was like, twelve. Some accident or other. Really fucked up my dad, I mean, real bad. Now all he does is work and hate everything that isn't business as usual. And I can't be business as usual. That's just not me, you know?"

"So…you think falling in love will turn you into your father? That why you're such a man-whore?"

"You know how I said I need to have sex every seventy two hours? I lied. It's just…my mom died after three days in intensive care. And when my dad had to pull the plug he just lost it. So I figure if I have a lot of sex I'll never have to go through that. Because no one will ever love me enough that I'll care if they leave me, you know?"

"Not really. My mom died giving birth to me."

"That's rough, man."

"…Want another drink?"

With that, another round of drinking commenced. That's the one I really can't remember. I remember bits and pieces –lots of drinking, lots of kissing, even some wandering hands.

It eventually got to the point where we were both ready to leave.

We tumbled out of the bar into the night air like a couple of giggly school girls. Somehow we got to Ryuji's car. While he fumbled with his keys (I'm pretty sure he dropped them like, three times) I had a moment to cool off.

In what I assume was a drunken moment of ludicrous honesty, I confessed the real reason I was on this date.

"Y-ya know wut? I…I lied too. I ony said yesh to this date cause I wanted to make…ugh…Bakura jelly."

This confession in turn made Ryuji laugh so hard that he dropped the keys again. Apparently, after playful Ryuji and talkative Ryuji comes giggly Ryuji.

"Baka? Jealous? Nahhhh…can't be done. I, ah…I've tried with that boy. Hesh fruitier than a fruity fruit cake…heh, fruity fruit cake…but nope! No Ryuji for him! He…he said…I dunno wha he said! But he said it!"

Somewhere during this last fit of giggles, we were approached by a shadow out of the night. Not a shadow. More like a ghost. It was Bakura.

"Well shpeak of the devil! Did you know Marigold wants in your pants?"

"As drunk as you two are? I doubt Marik could even find his own pants."

The jab sobered me up a little. Glaring blearily at the albino jerk, I floundered my way closer to Ryuji's side, pressing myself up against him.

"I could find Ryuji's pants!"

"Good for you. What do you want, a gold star? Now get in the car, I'm driving."

"Nuh-uh, Baka-rah…III always drive muh dad's car. He guts pissed if anyone else does…or if anyone does anything…he's always pissed!"

"I think he'd be more pissed if you ended up road kill like your mom."

That shut Ryuji up pretty effectively. Somehow, he managed to get both of us into the car and start us on our way…somewhere.

Couldn't be my house, because he'd never been there, so he wouldn't know the way. I didn't even know the way!

Maybe I was still headed back to Ryuji's.

Maybe we'd have a manly threesome.

The thought made me giggle madly.

"What's so funny giggly?"

"M-manly…three…uh, never mind, I don't feel so good."

"You shouldn't. You just drank yourself half to death and were about to get into a car with a smashed idiot. And Ryuji, what the hell were you thinking?"

"Fun…"

"Never mind, I should know better than to ask you at this point. Aren't you impressed by your date, Marik?"

"I…I jus…I wanted to…oh Ra, I'm gonna…"

The next portion of the ride involved a lot of throwing up and not much talking, though Bakura's smirk in the rear view mirror said it all.

When I was finally done, we were getting closer to our destination, and I was feeling quite a bit more sober.

"How did you even know to come for us?"

"…family rule."

"Huh?"

"Let's just say I'm used to cleaning up after Ryuji's dates. I happened to come around at the right time tonight."

Time to throw up again. Apparently I wasn't finished yet. I hoped I hadn't ruined my new pants.

When I came back up for air, my head had cleared again. Enough that I knew two things for sure:

Throwing up in an expensive car was exactly as gross as it sounds, and I was never going on another date with Ryuji Otogi, good kisser or not.

Also, guardian angels are surprisingly harsh.

A/N: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly how I think a date between Ryuji and Marik would end. Total disaster! And what are these 'family rules' that Bakura speaks of? Hm…let me know what you all think ;D You guys have been amazing about reviewing! I love you all! *heart*