Love Is Hell
Chapter Six: The Erasable Proposal
Kate was in a state as she awoke, stirring to the environment around her. She tasted cherry in her mouth, but the taste had become so old that it now was the remnant of one tasted after having chewed an old piece of gum for a long period of time. There was also a headache dancing disco against her brain, forcing the latter to bust a gut against her forehead. She also felt sick, nauseous...Kate sighed. She was enduring a hang over.
Kate reached out, touching the material in front of her face. She realized it was a couch...her couch, the couch...Kate opened her eyes completely and saw that she was lying on the couch in her apartment. How did she get here? How long was she lying? When did she pass out? Kate moaned, putting her hands alongside her temples, forcing the stupid headache to backtrack, go where it wasn't noticeable.
It was blurry, the night. Although her memory was fuzzy, the event came back to her, or at least those events that were still imaginable to have happened. Leonard spoke to her, what did he say? They were in the car...Kate blinked. Something about Sheldon...about her...about the two of them. God, what were they talking about?
It was beyond her until Kate noticed her head was lying in a certain forbidden spot. Ah, yes. She had an argument with Sheldon. What was it about? Something about a contract...and a nut. Wait, no, that can't be it. It wasn't a nut. A bolt? No...oh wait. Kate remembered. It was a screw. She said...what did she say? SCREW THE CONTRACT!
Kate frowned. Ah, now it came to her. She blinked several times, and stirred a little louder. Her groan that came out was mainly for the headache that pounded greatly as her memory shot back everything she'd said to Sheldon, to Leonard, to Wheaton. God, did she really mess up.
No. Not her. Him. He...Sheldon messed up. Kate frowned. He may have messed up but he couldn't help it. He was ignorant...naive. She yelled at him, told him he was stupid. God what did she do...
"What have I done..." Kate muttered remorsefully.
"According to our friends in the jury," said Sheldon's voice, "absolutely nothing."
Kate startled, and turned quickly to the other side of the couch. She laid on her left side, looking at Sheldon who was sitting in his desk chair, wearing a black batman shirt, red long sleeve underneath, and his normal plaid pants. Kate looked at him, eyed him. How long was he watching her? How long had he been there?
"What..." Kate began but Sheldon shrugged mindfully.
"I know, you can't remember anything." Sheldon told her. He sat back in his chair, holding a cup of tea, or most presumably as such, for he hardly drank caffeine, unless it was Halo night, or some or occasion.
"No. I remember." Kate muttered. She looked at him. "I remember everything." She touched her head, sighing painfully.
Sheldon looked at her with a logical expression on his face. He stood and walked into the kitchen, clamored about for a few seconds and then arrived in front of Kate with a blue-colored coffee mug. He handed it to her on a plate, to which Kate gave him an estranged look.
"What's that?" Kate asked.
"Tea."
"What is it for?"
"You're experiencing a hang over, Kate, one of the ill-fated consequences of drinking the last drop in a vodka bottle," said Sheldon. "Or, in your case, too many drinks out of the lightly-colored content-filled punch bowl at the comic book store."
Kate took the cup, slightly irate from his comment.
"You don't have to be technical," Kate replied.
"I do," returned Sheldon. "It's part of me, it's who I am. You might as well accept it."
Kate stared at him. Despite her ill will to speak to him, Kate took the tea and she drank a few sips before smiling lightly. It was a good change—the honey could be tasted easily and it made the yucky cherry aftertaste of the wine at the party become a distant memory; if only the other memories could disappear so sweetly.
She sat up, sitting on the middle cushion. She brushed her hand through her hair and seeing that her mask was off, she noticed that she wore her Batman pajama bottoms, and black tank top. Kate looked at Sheldon questionably.
"Don't be so surprised," said Sheldon dolefully. "I found it unforgiveable for you to be passed out on the couch, needless to say in a Catwoman costume." He raised his hands, including the one that held the cup of tea. "I didn't look."
Kate gave him a hard look but she drank the tea, none the less. While Kate said nothing, Sheldon seemed to find this moment to sit down his cup of tea and then also in the seat beside her, in his spot. Kate watched him carefully. She didn't know how to tell him what she felt about last night. Did she have to do that? Did she have to say that she felt remorseful for her words but her apology wasn't needed. He needed to apologize to her, not vice versa. After all, Kate had done nothing wrong.
"Sheldon," said Kate quietly.
"Yes, Kate?"
"I'm not apologizing for what I said to you," Kate said coolly. "All that I said was true, even if I do regret the way it came out. I've felt that way for quite some time."
"That's what Leonard and Penny have explained to me," said Sheldon.
Kate gave him a look, to which he said further, "I admit that I was oblivious to your sudden objection to everything I've stood for. If you were so against it, my question was why did you go with it in the first place? Would it not have been sufficient to cease the predicament at its initial spark rather than letting it consume one's forest completely?"
Kate drank the rest of the tea and placed it on the coffee table. She said nothing in response, which made Sheldon continue to look at her expectantly. Kate merely looked at him.
"Sheldon," she began.
"Oh good, so there is a receiving person of my words. I was wondering if I was becoming a devout in monologues, otherwise I might've been talking to a wall," said Sheldon. He added respectfully, "Granted, a wall has less glares than you. But, I digress."
Kate sighed, coldly responding, "Sheldon, we need to talk."
"Well, I sure hope so. You've been silent since you awoke." Sheldon returned. "Although, it's unlike when my mother and I sit and talk. Normally when she says 'We need to talk', she means for her to speak and I'm to listen."
Kate glared at him pointedly and Sheldon got the idea.
"I'm sorry, Kate, go on."
Kate sighed. She bit her lip and then turned to him. They mirrored each other; hands on their knees, bodies turned to each other. Kate, however, looked less than eager to speak her mind while Sheldon only awaited her speech. With one long sigh, Kate finally spoke.
"Sheldon, there's no point in beating around the bush when it comes to talking to you about emotions and relationships." Kate said. "So, I'll tell you exactly how I feel and when I'm finished, I want you to tell me how you feel in return, and from the heart, not your scientific, logical mind. Okay?"
"I can't agree to that," Sheldon replied immediately.
"Why not?" Kate responded coldly. She closed her eyes immediately as though praying for patience like Mrs. Cooper did when dealing with Sheldon's antics, and finally Kate looked at him. "Sheldon, I'm at the end of my rope. For once, Sheldon, please, for once, concede to do this one thing, this one tiny thing my way. Okay? Please?"
Sheldon gave her an odd look. But he succumbed and said with a tone of one having no other alternative, "Fine...Speak."
Kate took a long breath and then she did.
"Sheldon, I recollect from a blurred montage of memories last night that I've told everyone but how I feel," said Kate gently. "What you've already been told I'm sure is that I love you." She paused, but as Sheldon rendered no change of expression, she continued. "What's more is that although you believe I've betrayed you in some fashion, which I still don't stipulate to that accusation, I'm only forced to conceive the notion that if you no longer trust me enough to know that I would never betray you."
Kate bit her lip again, perhaps forcing herself to restrain whatever tears would fall. But her voice remained intact, much to Sheldon's relief.
"Because I know how stubborn you can be," said Kate quietly, "I know I may never win this argument but even I have a limit as to the amount of ludicrousy I can take. So, without ado, I have only one request."
Sheldon gazed at her curiously.
"Sheldon," said Kate quietly. "I need to hear what you feel for me. I don't care how you say it or show it, say it with condescion, I don't care...but if you can't generate some form of telling me how you truly feel, I'm leaving you."
Sheldon gazed at her, though his curiosity had ebbed and a certain fear had become clear.
"So," said Kate in a softer tone. "That concludes my end. Now. You."
Sheldon looked at her for a long time. Kate could only wait so long. Sheldon sighed for a moment then shook his head.
"Kate, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this." Sheldon told her. "After all, I value to be one of the minority who I consider to be my intellectual equal. It'd be a dismal shame to let you go based on an argument."
Kate gazed at him with a fractured gaze. What was he saying? Were they breaking up?
"Sheldon, I have a hang over. You have to be clearer than that," said Kate. Oh these debates were always fun.
"Alright." Sheldon said. He cleared his throat and then took her hand, well, more like her wrist. "Kate, will you marry me?"
Kate stared at him. A long time...staring.
"W...what?" Kate squeaked.
Sheldon shrugged and said, "Don't tell me I have to explain to you what the proposition suggests."
"I know what it suggests," Kate breathed. It was her turn to lick her lips nervously. "Sheldon...why..."
"Kate," Sheldon told her lightly. "I'm a scientist, not a therapist or by any means of the world, a psychologist. I look to science for answers, mathematics for the requiem of my thoughts. From what I've gathered from Leonard and Howard, the two of them expressed their emotions through asking their companions in a joint commitment of matrimony. Correct me now, if I'm wrong."
Kate stared at him still. She was in shock.
"Kate?" Sheldon said.
She said nothing.
"Kate, it'd be a good time now to tell me what you're thinking. You know very well that I'm not an expert in the field of body language and facial cues." Sheldon said. "Your stunned silence is also making very antsy."
Kate looked at him, a smile came to her mouth.
"Oh good," said Sheldon. "So I'm to presume that this was a good move on my part?"
"Good, yes, but I'm not sure it was the right one." Kate told him.
"Meaning?"
Kate pulled her hand from his and she said gently, "Sheldon, marriage is a very, very long commitment. You and I conceded that we'd only marry if we'd made a contract first."
"At which point, I thought this jumping into chaotic phenonema would demonstrate how I feel for you," said Sheldon. He shook his head, "Leonard and Wolowitz confuse me with their advise."
"Advise?" repeated Kate.
"Yes," said Sheldon. As Kate continued to look at him with a curious stare, he said pointedly, "While you were passed out from the alcohol you consumed at the party, you were unconscious on the couch. Meanwhile, Leonard told me that while he expressed his love for Penny by marrying her, and therefore implying Howard had done the same, it only seemed logical to me that while I have a social ineptitude—which you pointed out vehemently yesterday—for expression, I'd come to the conclusion that proposing marriage to you would be easier than apologizing for something I hadn't done."
Kate stared/glared/gazed at him. The emotions started mixing up and Sheldon couldn't see what she was feeling, or how she was dealing with his statement.
"Alright, let me ask a few questions, the first one being more important," said Kate.
"Alright."
"You think marriage is the solution to my questioning how you feel for me, rather than strictly apologizing for your accusations last night?" Kate summarized.
Sheldon merely looked at her with the obvious face and said, "Yes."
Kate looked at him.
"You were prepared to marry me."
"Yes."
"To make up for what happened last night."
"Yes."
"Rather than just telling me you have emotions beyond your understanding that include me."
"Definitely, yes." Sheldon said.
Kate smiled.
"That's sweet."
"What is?"
"You were prepared to take a vow to be with me for eternity rather than apologize to me and tell me in words how you feel. Thereby avoiding personal and emotional growth and also being a stubborn twit." Kate responded. "A little impulsive, but none the less sweet."
"You still didn't answer my question," Sheldon said. "I'm given to understand that when one proposes, the other party answers be a definitive 'yes' or 'no'."
Kate smiled. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He looked at her questionably.
"Not yet," she replied.
Sheldon smiled, saying, "That's a very good answer. I'll take it."
"Good," said Kate. She looked at him. "And even though you never said it, I love you too."
Sheldon grinned. He got by without having to say it.
"So," said Kate. "Are we okay now? Can we pretend this whole thing never happened?"
Sheldon looked up for a moment in thought and said, "My proposal, the argument last night, or the misconception of a drunk Catwoman?"
"All of it," Kate said. She snapped her fingers and said, "Poof."
"That hardly erases any of my memory but we can reset our relationship back to the point we agreed it worked, not unlike resetting a computer when it crashes." Sheldon said. "Although, since doing so would be demeaning as it'd subtract the great effort I'd put into, as one would say 'confessing my undying love' to you, Kate, we should simply extract the virus that caused the whole argument."
Kate smiled.
"Doing that would mean I'd have to delete you, Sheldon." She said but her smile remained. She leaned forward and kissed him again on the cheek. "Thank you for your great efforts. I'm sorry we argued."
Sheldon hesitated then said with his eyes peeled to the floor, in a quiet voice, "I'm sorry too."
Kate stared at him.
"You're what?"
"You heard," Sheldon told her. He stood and quickly asked if she wanted another cup of tea. She handed him her cup and he smiled at her; she smiled back. And he fetched her more tea.
–
Author's Note: So, I have to ask you all, was this in Sheldon's character? I think I kind of hedged on it. Please read and review, my lovelies :) I was so heated in this chapter that when my sister came in and interrupted me, I was like "SHUT UP, I HAVE TO TELL SHELDON IM SORRY!" Naturally, all I received "You're crazy" but hey, whatever. :)