Love Is Hell
Chapter Nine: Sheldon, Interrupted
Sheldon lied in bed asleep. However, it wasn't long when he awoke after a vexing dream. What vexed him was that Kate was in it, and he experienced the discomfort that proceeded it. He frowned when he recognized the symptoms and signs of sexual arousal. The Catwoman of his dreams did that. At first, he attempted to use Kohlinar to refute, but it wasn't enough. He frowned again and shook his head. He knew it'd been a bad idea when he and Kate did it the first time. Of course, he knew it wouldn't be the last. After all, his body had tasted the sweet nectar of the poison and since then, it had been implanted in his veins like the virus bacteria left over from Chicken Pox; never noticeable but always there...then shingles happened but Sheldon was happy he'd never gotten that dose of ill-fated trauma.
Still, the matter remained.
He folded the covers from himself and moved out of bed. There was no point in lying there suffering. It would only make matters worse.
Sheldon walked out of the bedroom and going to the kitchen for a cup of warm tea, he found that the source of his imaginative onset of his poison was in the living room; apparently, Kate also couldn't sleep. Although she seemed more preoccupied with something else, for she had out a calculator, bills, and the like. As she folded the notes, Sheldon presumed that Kate hadn't even gone to bed yet. She was still in her day clothes, dressed in blue jeans and a long-sleeve shirt, which, as always, had the Batman symbol on the front.
She stood and then that's when she noticed Sheldon.
"Oh, hi, Sheldon," said Kate genuinely happy. She placed her notes, bills, and taxes items in a drawer separate to his own.
"Hello," said Sheldon. He continued to move around the kitchen, making herbal tea.
Kate noticed his odd behavior. For one, he was out of bed and it was ten o'clock. Second, he seemed intent on excluding her from this activity for he offered her none in return. Bemused, she walked into the kitchen.
"Sheldon, honey," said Kate gently. "Are you all right?"
"I will be," Sheldon told her. He glanced over his shoulder, saying, "But thanks for asking."
Kate chewed the inside of her cheek, pondering. He was running water into his cup and added a tea bag then placed it in the microwave. While it heated the cup, Sheldon merely watched it. Kate knew he'd already figured out how a microwave emitter heated the cup via taking it apart (and then buying a new one because the way he'd done it was hard to put it back together again), so she knew no doubt it wasn't the microwave he was preoccupied by.
Sheldon, evidently, felt her eyes on him for he turned to look at her.
"What are you observing?" Sheldon inquired.
"You," Kate remarked. "You're acting strange."
"Am I?" Sheldon replied, although his voice had gone up an octave. He cleared his throat but made no attempt to correct the odd volume to his voice. Instead, he turned around and paid attention to his tea.
"Sheldon," said Kate. She stood and walked over to him. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"
"Yes, but sleep eluded me." Sheldon told her. "It's become a regular occurrence, actually."
"Really?" mused Kate. "Is it not the rest that eludes you but the dreams that refuse to leave?"
Sheldon stiffened. Slowly, he turned to her.
"How do you know..."
"Sheldon," said Kate with a sigh, "you insult my intelligence. I know you have dreams about me; I'm a regular occurrence in your life, and you forget, my Homo-novus, that I'm also your girlfriend." As a point, Kate winked at him.
Sheldon rolled his eyes, putting that theory out of the blue entirely.
"Also," said Kate. She pressed 'stop' on the microwave and said, "You're acting weird and by that definition, you've acquired some discomfort that hasn't presented itself until you fell asleep. And I know the discomfort you feel is welcome and forbidden."
Sheldon pursed his lips, saying nothing to that theory. However, Kate smirked at him, knowingly. She opened the microwave door and handed his tea to him. Although at this point, Sheldon merely gazed at her with an affronted look, as though she had already passed whatever comfort zone he still maintained.
He took his tea, but didn't drink it. Kate smiled plainly at him then walked to the living room. At this point, Sheldon frowned. Did Kate just tease him...or was that another flirt...perhaps it was both? Sheldon noticed she was sitting in her spot again, watching television. He joined her wordlessly, sitting in his designated spot. He was uncertain as to how to tell her that she was right without pushing his threshold further away from him. After all, his comfort zone was all he had to treasure.
"What are you watching?" Sheldon asked.
"Don't know," Kate remarked. "I just turned to it."
"You know there is a guide," Sheldon reminded.
"Yeah, but what's life without a little surprise," Kate said gently. She smiled at him pointedly and then turned her eyes back to the TV.
"Why do I get that feeling we're watching a Soap Opera?" asked Sheldon, seeing the lighting dim and the characters clearly upset with one another.
"We may be," Kate affirmed.
When the characters spoke in Spanish, Kate chuckled.
"We're watching a Spanish Soap apparently," said Kate. She took the remote and flipped the channel. Not even she liked watching those.
Sheldon took the remote and placed it on the coffee table, which immediately alerted Kate. She glanced at the remote which now sat on the table and then to him.
"Sheldon?" Kate spoke. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing really," said Sheldon. He turned to her, his right leg bending so he could sit comfortably and yet angle his body towards her. Apparently, after having done so, this made Kate become more attentive, for she mirrored him...this didn't help him any. Despite his meager attempts to extinguish his male faults of being attracted to his female counterpart, it was only a defect that when Kate turned her body as well, he could only try so hard to not be mindful that the revealable skin around her neck. For some reason, Sheldon had a gathered understanding that a person being attracted to another person physically had a certain 'place' where they were most attracted to. While Leonard and Howard and possibly Raj enjoyed spoke animatedly of their companions' bosom or behind, Sheldon was—as always—different. He was mindful of Kate's slender figure, but her neck was flawless, smooth...and sadly, it was always in his sights.
"Kate, I believe we must evaluate the chain of causality as its already presented itself," Sheldon stated.
Kate gathered his reason and she agreed, nodding her head, but said nothing. One of her ways of leading him on; Sheldon preferred this rather than a verbal cue, although he preferred them most of the time. What had become an exhausting chore to explain to his friends, Sheldon had found simple with Kate; he understood her nonverbal cues as if they were his own. To him, this was most pleasing...and slightly disturbing, for it was almost as though she were linked to him telepathically.
"At this moment," Sheldon began, clasping his hands on his bent knee, "I think we're at another intervention. However, while one normally seizes a moment with an emotional ambush against the factor that's causing the invalid harm, the intervention used here is reversed."
Kate smiled. As though she already understood his point. Given that Kate was perceptive, Sheldon raised his eyebrows to her smile.
"Why are you smiling?" Sheldon asked.
"I always smile, Sheldon."
"That's a different smile," Sheldon noted.
"Really? I have different smiles?"
"Yes," said Sheldon, as though this was plain fact...and it was. "Kate, I know I've said time and time again in the past that I'm not accustomed to nonverbal cues, body language, or facial expressions. However, in spite of my ineptitude for the matter, I've curiously developed a knowledge for yours." He shifted, saying, "For instance, I know when you're angry because you're snapping at me—that's the most obvious sign of all. When you are tired, you exhibit the signs of those who are normally tired, although the levels of exhaustion confuse me. And, now, when we're sitting here talking and you suddenly smile, I'm being led to the conclusion that you have already arrived at the proximal point of realization and I no longer need to explain myself."
Kate smiled wider, saying, "That's a mouthful."
Sheldon gave her a pointed look, saying, "You could have stopped me at any time."
"No, I couldn't." Kate returned. "You don't like being interrupted." When Sheldon noted this with agreement, she continued, except with it, she moved closer to him. "While you understand my nonverbal cues and my differential smiles, I perceive your actions as well. You don't like being interrupted at any given time, given the notion when you're right or wrong in your point."
Sheldon looked at her with a primal gaze. She knew him well. But even then, she wasn't finished. As she spoke of all the things she knew of him, she also began moving closer to him, which made Sheldon move back to the point his lower back was right against the arm of the couch, and Kate, being the devious vixen she was, sat between his legs. Her feet were tucked underneath her. While Sheldon gazed at her, more curious, than panicked, he couldn't help but notice the direct seduction in her voice. One thing he could count on with Kate was that when she was being...like she was right now...she never hid it; it was right in the open where even he could see that she was coming onto him.
Now Kate was sitting in between his legs, therefore in his spot...with him. Sheldon didn't know if this was a tease to him or what, but Kate seemed to notice.
"I also know that in the very spot we both occupy is the spot that if your life was expressed as a function in a four-dimensional Cartesian Coordinate system this spot, when you first sat on it, would be 0,0,0,0." Kate smirked when Sheldon stared at her, his eyes wide with admiration.
"Did I miss anything?" asked Kate lightly.
Sheldon just kept staring at her. He couldn't believe what she said, if it was not for the fact she'd said it. Something in his body was sparked when she vocalized the importance of his spot, his universe—and she had remembered every word.
"That's very impressive," Sheldon finally managed. He kept his hands on the back of the couch and beside him, only because if they touched her, he'd probably be a victim for what his anatomy begged.
"Ooh," Kate purred. She smirked at him. He knew that smile from experience. The right portion of her mouth lifted only, into the crooked grin that was his cue that she was feeling what he was currently feeling. Sheldon glanced past her to the door. What if someone came in...it'd be just one more embarrassing thing.
Kate glanced behind her to the thing he was looking at and at this point, she looked back at him. However, she didn't seem too phased by it. She leaned into him and kissed his jaw, underlying his cheek and the border of his neck. Sheldon bared it, closing his eyes and stiffening like a board.
It didn't push her away though. No, Kate was persistent. She was also patient. Sheldon wondered if she'd be the same if he'd pursued her while she had been in a drunken state. He doubted she'd be so patient during that informality.
Kate's lips lingered for seconds, then moved, but not away. He felt them on his neck, along the skin just above his carotid artery. Around his waist, Kate's arms moved, and her hands slid their palms along his lower back.
Sheldon remained stiff, uncertain what to do. He questioned his mind just as he did normally for answers, but so far, nothing responded. His body, however, had answers. He wondered if this was the reason why humans, in the state of desire and recklessness, became so reckless because their minds shifted gears lazily, and the body's instincts kicked in. If that was the case, could he hardly blame Penny and Leonard for...Sheldon's thoughts subtracted twice when he felt Kate's lips move again, this time a sound escaped them.
Without many notes to compare between logic and biology, Sheldon sighed with resolution. Sheldon shifted so his legs were on the couch, and he did so, Kate repositioned. He was against the back of the couch, lying on his left and Kate was on her back, lying her head on the left arm of the couch.
No talk interrupted as Kate lifted her head to meet his; her initiated kiss to his mouth was soft, feathery—it didn't even meet him completely. Sheldon was led to her trap as he only wanted more from her. He kissed her upper lip, no later the invitation came as expected. In spite of his inexperience with women, being that Kate was his only experiment, Sheldon perceived that in any given situation, Kate was always extending the invite. While his mind offered neither the objection or encouragement, Sheldon found himself at the mercy of his instincts, which, even when manipulated by the lust in his loins, were still cautious.
Sheldon moved his hand to her lower back, his fingers sliding over the tattoo of 'Joker's Wild' that was still—unless the imbedded ink had found a way out—needled to her sink. Although he at first had an aversion to the idea of being pricked by a thousand needles, the knowing of the mark was almost tantalizingly vexing, in a way that he predicated that Kate was—in a fashion—his Wild. There was no verification of the theory. He neither wished to confirm it with Kate. However, the touch of his fingers made Kate sigh, but not exasperatedly or in annoyance. It was pleasing, as though she took a bite out of a freshly baked apple pie.
Sheldon touched his other hand to the side of her stomach. Her hands moved to his chest. Her digits were merely contact, not flesh over his clothes. Somehow he'd wished he wasn't adorned with so much clothing.
Then, Sheldon kissed her lips once more. When she reciprocated, her returning kiss was harder, invitingly passionate. His response was mutual. Kate smiled in mid-kiss, and her tongue slid along his bottom lip. Sheldon hesitated, but only for a second, before he entered her mouth with his caution and endearment. In spite of his ability to multitask, he was at odds when her hands had began to lower to his stomach. One stayed to his hip, while the other entreated to a different territory.
However, Sheldon was aside himself. He felt her touch him, over his pajama bottoms. Her touch was brief, but he would be in denial if he claimed he didn't feel something ignite, in his brain and his anatomical biology. Sheldon pushed his mouth harder unto hers. Their tongues elapsed in a small battle in her mouth.
He only stopped when there was a knock on the door. Kate and Sheldon exchanged looks. Kate slightly frowned.
"Hold on," Kate mouthed.
Sheldon nodded, and sat up so Kate could move off the catch. She straightened her clothes and opened the door. Sheldon sat in his spot the proper way, although he couldn't trudge off the irritating ascension of his lower anatomies.
"Kate."
Sheldon recognized the voice belonging to Howard. Another 'Hello' made Sheldon aware that accompanying the Jewish engineer was, as always, his friend and ally, Rajesh, who apparently was under some influence for he merely spoke the word without a high squeaky voice.
"Can we come in?" asked Howard.
Kate invited them in but she looked slightly irritated. However, Howard took no notice. Raj sat on the far right cushion. Howard sat in the middle. Kate closed the door and looked at Howard.
"Sit there," Sheldon spoke, pointing to the armchair.
Howard gazed at him confusedly but when he looked at Kate with inquiry, he realized his mistake. He stood, made a small bow to her, and sat in the armchair.
"So," said Kate. "What'd you do wrong?"
Howard and Raj looked at her suddenly.
"Why do you think we did something wrong?" scoffed Howard. "Maybe Sheldon did something wrong."
Kate gave him a look and said, "First, you got up without saying anything when Sheldon told you to sit somewhere else and second, Howard, you know me very well. Sheldon's my boyfriend; he can do no wrong. Now, what's going on?"
Sheldon gazed at her curiously. Kate was rather...abrupt...when she was interrupted. However, Howard continued to notice nothing was wrong and he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, and stated his business.
"Leonard hasn't chosen his best man yet. We were wondering if you knew anything," said Howard curiously.
Sheldon sighed and said, "Oh not this again."
To this, Kate turned to him, saying, "What again?"
"This."
"This what?" Kate remarked.
Sheldon sighed and looked at her in explanation. "When Howard was wed, I believe we circled in an infinitive circle before Howard chose Koothrappali for Best Man, and I could only simulate the variable twists and ties that came between the females when Bernadette was to choose her Maid of Honor. After Howard, I thought we wouldn't have to go through with this again, and yet, here we are. Not only are you predicated to enumerate this with Bernadette, Amy, and Penny, now I'm stuck in this square."
"How is it a square?" asked Howard.
Kate stepped in figuratively speaking and said for Sheldon, "A square has four sides and if a race track was made as such, a driver would have to slow to a stop to turn the sharp curves, hence making the journey longer and harder."
Sheldon beamed at her, then turned to Howard, who was staring at them as though they might have escaped from a loony bin.
"Not the point," Howard stated quickly. He cleared his throat and said, "My point is that while we're wondering who Leonard will pick as the best man, are you at curious whom Penny will choose for her Maid of Honor?"
Kate shrugged and said, "No, but, out of curiosity,"-Kate leaned forward in a position that mirrored Howard—"Tell me how it would."
Howard's eyes widened at her approach. However, as he was speechless, Raj took the floor and turned to Kate.
"You're not at all interested in being part of Penny's wedding?"
"Of course I am; as a friend and confidant, I am exceptionally drawn to being part of Penny's wedding," said Kate in a matter-of-fact tone. "But Penny's choice of who'll be her Maid of Honor will be hers, whether or not I do her all the favors in the world or tell her she's my best friend. I think Amy's done that plenty of times."
Sheldon gave Kate an admirable look. Kate wasn't interested in being so involved in Penny's wedding nonsense. So this made it only better that he wouldn't be strong-armed into cuddling with her should Penny, Bernadette, and Amy go without her to dress shop.
Rajesh merely shook his head and said, "Are you kidding?"
"I'm serious," said Kate, her smile gone. "I'm not going to make enemies amongst friends to be a Maid of Honor."
"Just as well," said Sheldon.
"Why's that?" Howard returned.
Sheldon replied, "Just as the Maid of Honor serves the Bride. If that applies to the duties of the Best Man, should the bride die, the Maid of Honor is there to replace her if the bride suffered a sudden death, so by retrospect, Kate would therein be obligated to marry Leonard, just as you, Raj, would have had to marry Bernadette, should Howard have died."
At this, Raj merely grinned but Howard looked at Sheldon as though this was preposterous.
"You're making that up!" Howard interjected.
"No, I'm assuredly not. If I was, you'd notice by my nervous tics I have whenever I try to deceive," Sheldon reminded.
Kate shook her head and said to Howard and Raj, "Is that all?"
The two gave her incredulous looks.
"What's with the biting tone?" Rajesh remarked.
Kate looked at him, saying, "I'm sorry, is it something I said?"
"No. It's not what you said, it's how you said it," said Rajesh dolefully. He shrugged and said, "Were you all doing something that we interrupted? I told Howard to call first. But you know, he never listens to me."
Howard glared at Raj, saying, "What are you talking about? I always listen to you."
"You say that, but you hardly ever do," Rajesh responded.
Howard gave him a 'WTF' look but then turned to Kate.
"Were you doing something?" He then winked, saying, "Something, oh, I don't know, dirty."
Kate sighed; Sheldon recognized this to be her first-step annoyance. He hoped she wouldn't tell them what they were doing, but all the more, if it made them leave, it was just as inviting. However, her response was interesting.
"Dirty, not really. I was going to take a shower," Kate remarked. "In the essence of that being said, it's more of a clean thing, than dirty."
Sheldon gave her a look, wondering why she had lied.
"Well, then you don't mind us watching TV, do you?" asked Raj. "Bridget Jones Diary is on and I've not seen it in some time, and it's on tonight."
"Why don't you watch it on your TV?" Sheldon responded.
"Can't—no cable," said Raj. "I've been slacking in paying my bills."
"Lazy," Howard said, shaking his head.
"I'm not lazy, you are." Rajesh replied.
Sheldon and Kate exchanged looks. Kate shook her head as though the two in front of them were impossible to deal with, while Sheldon perceived them to be not impossible, as they existed, but implausible. Howard had a clever way of interrupting all that was good for him, even if it was bad.