Yami's got The Xfactor!
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! So yea happy belated Halloween….
As the weeks carried on and Yugi tried to challenge random English people to a duel, he couldn't help but notice how many people ignored his challenge and asked for his autograph instead.
"/Wow Yami. I don't know how to break this to you but… They. Don't. Know. DUELMONSTERS!/"
A transparent Yami looked at Yugi in both shock and horror. He then decided to take over and look for Bakura or Simon to torture them a little more.
"Heeheehee, well look who we have here. If it isn't our favourite on again/off again yaoi couple, Marik and Bakura!" Yami smirked as he walked over to them ready for what could only be the pwning of the lifetime.
"What the Frigg is he doing here?! Did you invite him Bakura?"
"I bloody didn't invite that ridiculous wanker of a pharaoh Marik, he would just rat us out!" Bakura roared at Marik like the feisty kitty cat he is.
"Who would I need to rat you out to, thief? Your yaoi-loving Fangirls? Anyways, let's play a game…" Yami smirked as he summoned the shadows and they were set to play a whole new version of a shadow game, something more terrifying than anything the terrible two have ever encountered… unadulterated Fangirls!
"Yami No Bakura and Marik, as you can see we are all chained to three logs, which restrain us and also give the Fangirls the opportunity to see us all in chains. Once they smell the bondage, they will attack us and the last one to survive with his insanity intact wins. But remember, The Yami No Game doesn't lie. If you cheat a punishment game awaits…" Yami showed a stern yet mischievous smirk on his face knowing one of them is going to slip up….
"Bondage you say?" Bakura piped up, his curiosity piqued "And being turned to shreds? Brilliant! It's not like we can reject, but this should be good fun!"
"This isn't too bad Bakura, I mean if you shrug off some of the glomping I think we'll win!" Marik said enthusiastically as he started to bear the Harem of Fangirls.
"Between me and you, Marik," Bakura whispered, "I have a knife in my side pocket and I can break us free, we only need to make sure that that infuriating wanker can't bloody see me. But it looks like he's a little 'distracted' at the moment…" as Bakura finished his sentence the Fangirls continued by the millions grabbing and touching anything they could find that was either Bakura's, Marik's or Yami's….
"Hurry up Bakura," Marik whispered as Bakura reached for the knife, "the Fangirls have ripped the majority of my clothes off and you'll never set us free when you get distracted by the sight of my midriff!" Then suddenly there was a large sinister laugh echoing through the shadow realm…
"ha ha Ha HAHAHAHA! I knew you couldn't follow the rules! Now face your fate, PENALTY GAME!" and with that the eye of Horus appeared on Yami's head and the rope fell off him like feathers. Yami then appeared to be floating towards the two cheaters, and as they looked into Yami's eyes they both saw their worst nightmares.
On the outside, they were lifeless shells with their eyes rolled back into their heads. But what the outside world didn't see was that the two villains souls' were in the shadow realm, and each was living their own worst knightmare.
Marik looked around the shadows and couldn't see anyone around for miles. "Hello? Where the Frigg am I? And wait-is that a mirror? Yay I can look at myself for hours on end until the pharaoh lets me go…" but what the reflection in the mirror showed was a vision so terrifying that the Marik Fangirls best turn away now…
Marik's midriff has become a beer gut and he is now bald! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU PHARAOH!"….
Elsewhere in the shadow realm, our favourite albino is looking around what seems to be a highly polished and golden room. He then turns and sees the Pharaoh with a chain and a cat collar for Bakura.
"What the hell I'm not wearing that!"
"Oh you'll find that you are and will do everything I say, SLAVE!" and Bakura turned to see his audience of thousands looking at him in just cat collar and chain .
"CURSE YOU PHARAOH!"
Yami laughed, as he had seen the tormented looks on his victim's faces as they were in the shadow realm. Once satisfied that his enemies have been taken care of, (despite not doing anything to him since the assault Yugi encountered a few weeks ago) he put sharpie moustaches on their lifeless bodies and strutted away like the bamf he is.
A week later….
Yugi was waiting at Heathrow airport with the slightly traumatised albino and four other contestants: John, a massive anime fanboy with a tendency to like yaoi a little too much, Steve, the speaking mime, a young man with glasses named Harry, and M.R Stabby, a wizard who turns into a knife when Melvin is around.
"Are you Yugi Motou?" A shaded figure asked as he appeared out of nowhere and shook his hand.
"Yes I am. You're not gonna kill me or trap any of my friends souls in the shadow realm are you?"
"Uh noooooo…. I'm here to give to the secret location of your mentor's house for Judges Houses…. Why would you ask me something like that?"
"Well. that's just what generally happens to me when I meet shaded figures." Yugi answered cheerfully. Secretly, he was thinking back to every time he was confronted by mysterious stranger. And with that note the shaded figure disappeared and Yugi opened up the envelope…
Yami and Yugi looked at the letter with antipaction hoping for a hot and sunny paradise, or Ireland for a change in scenery. Yugi read the letter out loud.
"Congratulations contestants! You have been given a once in a life time opportunity to change your lives, so with this I invite you to the lovely city of Domino in Japan!
Good luck,
Your mentor."
"Oh crap on the Nile, we're going back to Japan!" The three anime stars gawked at each other (with Bakuras trauma wearing off) and words couldn't express the anger they felt at the cop out location.
"Well Yami, at least we can see all our friends again!" Yugi said cheerfully.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Anything but them!" Yami replied and then plunged into what looked like the pout of a lifetime. And with that they ventured to Egypt-I mean Japan…
11 hours later…
The Ygo crew and the boring "Dead weight", as Bakura referred to the 3 other contestants, waited in a random mansions entryway as the mysterious mentor made his grand entrance…
Dermot O'Leary walks out of the hallway of the mentor's mansion. "Please welcome your mentor and his assisstant, Mr. Simon Cowell and our new voice coach, Marik Ishtar!"
Before Simon could say a word, Marik immediately started spouting nonsense. "Firstly, I will show all of you how it's done with the help of uh, Mr. Bakura is it?" Marik had to pretend he didn't know his kitty, as he is well aware that if the producers find out that his on/off boyfriend is on the show he will be disqualified, or Marik himself could be fired. And everyone knows that Marik needs his daily dose of performing Lady Gaga and criticising people while stroking his Millennium Rod. He grabbed Bakura by the arm and shouted,
"I don't know you in the slightest! Now, let us sing a parody on the spot that would've taken a while to work out and memorize! HIT IT!"
And with that, the music started.
Red One
Kura
Marik
I've got a little bit too angry
All of the people start to run.
Start to run away.
A dizzy twister duel
Can't find my drink or leather pants.
Where is my rod, I lost my mind.
What's going on on the floor?
Melvin's come out baby, but I can't see straight anymore.
Keep it cool why do I want a hug?
I can't remember but it's alright, alright.
Just duel. Gonna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-duel
Just duel. Play those shadow games.
Da-doo-doo-duel
Just duel. Gonna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Duel. Duel. Duel. Just duel.
Wish I could shut my playboy mouth.
Why isn't my shirt not showing my midiff? My midriff babe.
Control your mind steve
4kids with censors they say.
And they're all gettin' murdered tonight.
What's going on on the floor?
I love lady gaga baby, but I can't see straight anymore.
Keep it cool why do I want a hug?
I can't remember but it's alright, alright.
Just duel. Gonna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-duel
Just duel. Play those shadow games.
Da-doo-doo-duel
Just duel. Gonna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Duel. Duel. Duel. Just duel.
[Bakura]
When I come through to the battle city finals checking out that catalogue.
Can't believe my eyes so many decks without an egyptian god.
And I ain't gonna' give it up, steady tryna pick it up like a cardl
I'm gonna play it, face down and hit your life points until you lose the duel, yeah
Shorty i can see that you got so much energy
The way you duelling with them hips going round and round
There's no reason at all why you can't leave here with me
In the meantime stay, let me watch you play face it down.
Just duel. Gonna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-duel
Just duel. Play those shadow games.
Da-doo-doo-duel
Just duel. Gonna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Duel. Duel. Duel. Just duel.
all psychotic, sick hypnotic got my Millennium Rod it's symphonic.
all psychotic, sick hypnotic got my Millennium Rod electronic.
All psychotic, sick hypnotic got my Millennium Rod it's symphonic.
All psychotic, sick hypnotic got my Millennium Rod electronic.
Go. Use your monster card, carve it out, work it, hustle
I got it, just stay close enough to duel you
Don't slow! Drive it, play it dirty lysol, bleed it
play the last card
(I got it)
In your dueldisk
(I got it)
Just duel. Gonna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-duel
Just duel. Play those shadow games.
Da-doo-doo-duel
Just duel. Gonna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Duel. Duel. Duel. Just duel.
As Marik finished the song, the surronding area of Domino was invaded by the many Japanese ninja-Fangirls. They all contracted a special case of CFS, the only case that becomes infectious when there is even the slightest trace of theifshipping around. This time though, the smallest case would become near fatal and the Fangirl insanity epidemic worsened.
"Yeah there's nothing strange about that…" Yami whispered bitterly to a transparent Yugi, though he was secretly jealous of Marik's Lady Gaga parody skills.
"Now, since it's Halloween we have decided that you are all singing Halloween songs. You have 2 hours to prepare a song and we will then chose the final 3 to advance to the live shows. May the best men win!" Simon announced.
"But it's November DarkSpiritYami! Why the bloody hell are we singing Halloween songs? It's not Halloween anymore." Bakura said.
STOP BREAKING THE 4TH WALL BAKURA! Do you want me to paddle you?!"
"No ma'am I'll be good…."
"Good! Now back to the plot! "
After 2 hours of intense off screen practice, the songs were ready and the stage was set for a certain thief to take it…..
"Hello Fluf-I mean Bakura. What are singing today?" Marik asked intently, forgetting that Simon was in the room. Luckily for him though, Fluffy is now what the Baka-Kitty Fangirls established with LittleKuriboh as his nickname.
"Don't call me Fluffy you wanker! And I am singing my own version of Thriller by Michael Jackson. So let me begin already!" Bakura barked at his Egyptan, which was ironic because he tends to more feline than canine.
"Fluffy….." Marik mumbled under his breath, and the instrumental began and Simon started to have chills already….
It's close to midnight
something evil's lurkin' in the dark
under the moonlight
You see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream
But Bakura takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze
As he looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed
'Cause this is Murder!
Murder night!
And no one's gonna save you
From the Yami about to strike
You know it's Murder!
Murder night...
You're fighting for your life
Inside a killer
Murder tonight, yeah.
You hear the door slam
And realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel my cold hand
And wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes
And hope that this is just imagination
Girl, but all the while
You hear me creepin' up behind
You're outta time
'Cause this is Murder!
Murder night!
There ain't no second chance
to fight the thing with the Millennium Ring, girl
(Murder...)
(Murder night!)
You're fighting for your life
Inside a killer
Murder tonight
Shadow creatures crawl
In the depths up to haunt in their masquerade
There's no escaping the clutches of me this time
(They're closed down)
Is the end of your life
I'm out to get you
There's shadow creatures in on every side
They will capture you
Unless you change the fate of this duel
Now is the time
For you to defeat him forever, yeah
All through the night
It'll save you from the terror here on the scene
I'll make you see
That this is Murder!
Murder night!
'Cause he will can kill you more
Than any Yami would ever dare try
(Murder...)
(Murder night!)
So let me hold you tight
And share a
killer, diller, chiller
Murder here tonight
'Cause this is Murder!
Killer night!
Girl, I can kill you more
Than any ghost would ever dare try
(Murder!...)
(Murder night!)
So let me hold you tight
And share a
(killer, thriller)
I'm gonna get you tonight
[Rap]
Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Shadow creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'all's neighborhood
And those whoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face Zorc necrophles
And be banished to the Shadow Realm
I'm gonna kill you tonight
(Murder, Killer)
I'm gonna kill you tonight
(Murder night, killer)
I'm gonna kill you tonight
Ooh, babe, I'm gonna kill you tonight
Murder night, babe
[Rap]
The foulest stench's in the air
The funk of 3,000 years
And sinister spirits from every Egyptian ring
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
for no mere mortal can resist
the evil of Bakura!...
(Evil laugh)
As the song finished, Bakura left leaving the dumbstruck duo to ponder what the hell happened. As the day went on, the "Dead Weight" completely froze and then went into a little coma.
"/Yami does this have anything to do with you? /" Yugi asked, suspicious of his dear Aibou's activities.
"/ I've done nothing at all! I think Yami No Bakura has been up to his old tricks again.. Anyways, it is my turn to perform Aibou, so I'll use your body and tell you if something's up./" Yami replied. With that, Yami came out to play- I mean to sing…
"Hello Pharaoh, what are you singing for us today?" Marik asked curiously as he didn't know that Yami could even sing at all.
"Well Marik, I'm singing my own version of "This Is Halloween" by Danny Elfman." Yami replied politely as the instrumental began…
Fanboys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Come with us and you will see
This, our town of Domino
This is Yu-Gi-Oh!, this is Yu-Gi-Oh!
Duelists scream in the dead of night
This is Yu-Gi-Oh!, everybody duels the game king
Play shadow games till the opponents die of fright
It's our town, everybody Duels
In this town of Domino
I am the one hiding In the Millennium Ring
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red
I am the one hiding in the Millennium Puzzle
Fingers in my dueldisk and hairspray in my hair
This is Yu-Gi-Oh!, this is Yu-Gi-Oh!
Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh!
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the Game King now
In this town, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise
Round that corner, Bakura hiding in the trash can
Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll...
Scream! This is Yu-Gi-Oh!
Red 'n' black, golden bangs
Aren't you scared?
Well, that's just fine
Say it once, say it twice
Take a chance and play the card
Ride with on the blimp in the dead of night
Everybody scream, everbody scream
In our town of Domino!
I am the Yami with the Fangirls lovable face
Here in a flash and gone without a trace
I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?"
I am the wind blowing through your ridiculous hair
I am the shadow dueling at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright
This is Yu-Gi-Oh, this is Yu-Gi-Oh
Yu-Gi-OH! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh!
Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh!
Duel Monster cards everywhere
Life's no fun without a god card
That's our job, but we're not mean
In our town of Domino
In Domino
Don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise
Yami Yugi might catch you in the back
And play the Egyptian god card
Make you jump out of your skin
This is Yu-Gi-Oh, everyone scream
Wont' ya please make way for a very special guy
Our man Yami is King of Games
Everyone hail to the Game King now!
This is Yu-Gi-Oh!, this is Yu-Gi-Oh!
Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh!
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the Yu-Gi-Oh song
Do ta la la la la-la la [Repeat]
As Yami finished, Marik was again in shock. This time though, it wasn't the parody that was the factor. It was the smexiness of Yami's voice that both shocked him and strangely attracted him to the King of Games. But that not's right, he's only an enemy to him nothing more. As Yami left the stage, he could feel something tugging him to Marik. As he was about to talk to him though, Yami's head fell down and Yugi emerged…
"/Yami well done! I think Marik wants to talk to you but can that wait until after I perform? I'm last to go and I really want to sing./" Yugi asked excitedly as he approached the stage.
"/Ok Aibou, I'll talk to him tomorrow. For now I'm exhausted so I will watch you from my soul room. Good luck!/" Yami replied as he retreated to the puzzle.
"Hello little Yugi, it is I! Marik Ishtar! Now what will you will be singing today?" Marik announced in an overly dramatic fashion.
"Well I want to keep it a surprise Marik, but I think you'll recognise it." Yugi replied politely as the instrumental began. Yugi then started dancing and it was so contagious Marik started dancing as well.
The Pharaoh!
If there's somethin' strange in Domino
Who ya gonna call (The Pharaoh)
If it's somethin' weird and it wants to duel
Who ya gonna call (The Pharaoh!)
I ain't afraid of no Bakura
I ain't afraid of no Melvin
If you're hearing things runnin' thru your head
Who can you call (The Pharaoh)
An' invisible man sleepin' in your head
Oh who ya gonna call (ghostbusters)
I ain't afraid a no Bakura
I ain't afraid a no Melvin
Who ya gonna call (The Pharaoh)
If you're all alone and you see the puzzle glow
He's here (The Pharaoh!)
(A-tem A-tem A-tem YYYAMI)
I ain't afraid a no Bakura
(A-tem A-tem A-tem YYYAMI)
I hear they have Fangirls
(A-tem A-tem A-tem YYYAMI)
I ain't afraid a no Melvin
(A-tem A-tem A-tem YYYAMI!)
Who you gonna call (The Pharaoh!)
Mm... if you've had a dose
Of a freaky Yami Bakura
You better call The Pharaoh
Duelin' makes me feel good
I ain't afraid a no Melvin
Don't get caught alone oh no... The Pharaoh!
When he comes through your door
Unless you've just got some more
I think you better call The Pharaoh
Ooh... who you gonna call (The Pharaoh)
Who you gonna call (The Pharaoh!)
Ah, I think you better call (The Pharaoh)
I can't hear you... (The Pharaoh!)
Who you gonna call (The Pharaoh!)
Louder! The Pharaoh!
Who you gonna call (the Pharaoh)
Who you can call The Pharaoh... (till fade)
As Yugi finished, he noticed that Marik was still dancing even though the music stopped. Simon dimissed him accordingly, and as Yugi left he thought of what Simon and Marik were talking about; no doubt it was of the upmost importance and completely relevant to the competition…
"Behold Simon, the full power of my midriff!" Marik shouted as his midriff gleamed with the intensity of a thousand suns, blinding the judge and sending the area ablaze with a white and tanned light…
Hey guys DSY here! Sorry for the delay but I had to make this one special, happy belated Halloween! And Yes there is only the decision to be made after Simon recovers from overexposure to Marik's midriff, Thanks as always to DAS for the awesome Beta-ing and see you again,
Your DSYxxx
Heheh. Dynamite and Soup was here.