Love Is Hell
Chapter Fifteen: Two-Timing Take-Out
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Kate pulled on her clothes again; as she did, she observed Sheldon, who was dressed, and now washing his hands. She only indistinctly rolled her eyes and pulled her shirt over her head. Sheldon gestured to the sink when he was finished, a nonverbal suggestion for her to do the same. Like always, Kate did what he wished and she washed her hands. She brushed what little water remained on them through her hair and pulled it back in a pony tail, some of the strands lingering on both sides of her face.
"So," said Kate softly. "I have serious doubts that no one heard us, as we both heard a door open and close. That only signifies two things: the gang's already here, or there's a burglar."
Sheldon was fixing his shirts so they aligned properly and when she said so, he suddenly stared at her wide-eyed.
"Why would there be a burglar?" Sheldon questioned nervously.
"Well, we did leave the door unlocked." Kate reminded. "What are you doing?"
Sheldon was locking the door again.
"I'm protecting you," Sheldon said.
"By locking the door?"
"Yes," said Sheldon. "If it's an acclaimed burglar like you've mentioned, the best thing we can do for ourselves in remain here until we know he's gone."
"Or she."
"Oh, get a grip, Kate, how can it be a 'she'?"
Kate looked at Sheldon seriously, saying, "If there was a burglar, Sheldon, it may very well be a 'she'. Thieves aren't strictly men, you know." She sensed he was sincerely panicked and she smiled lightly.
"Sheldon, honey, it's fine. I doubt there's any burglar out there, anyway." She looked around.
"What are you doing?" Sheldon inquired.
"Finding a blunt object."
"Why?"
"So if it's a burglar, I'll hit him in the back of the head," said Kate smoothly.
"You're not going out there," Sheldon stated, but it was more of a question than a statement. He watched Kate take a plunger from the side of the toilet and pull off the sucker part. She now held a wooden stick.
"As enticing it is to be locked in a room with you, Sheldon, for hours on end," said Kate sweetly, "I'm not inclined to stay here if it's not a burglar. We have to find out some way or another—besides, I don't want them robbing me; I've already had a car stolen from me, I don't want my comic books stolen."
"Oh, lord, the comic books!" Sheldon said, as though he remembered. He nodded understandably, and unlocked the door. "All right, Bat Girl. We go on three. The Dark Knight is behind you—he's scared, but he's right behind you. For the comic books!"
Kate held up the stick as he held the door knob. They began counting to three, then Kate stopped him.
"Wait, wait," said Kate quickly.
"What?" Sheldon questioned.
"Do we go on three, like one, two, three—and on three, we go. Or do we say one, two, three, then go. Or one, two, and then move before we say three?" Kate asked.
Sheldon stared at her but then nodded quickly, saying, "Brilliant point. It's good that you have an clear mind during these stressful matters. We should go on three."
"So one, two, and then we move on three." Kate clarified.
"Actually, one, two, three, and then go." Sheldon said. "That way we're actually going on three."
"Well, going on three, would be opening the door when we say 'three', Sheldon," said Kate in a matter of fact tone.
Sheldon sighed, "All right, after we say three, I open the door and you head out swinging. Once the target is hit, you pin him down and I'll take the stick and continue hitting. Once he's unconscious, we call the police."
Kate pondered the idea and said, "What if there is more than one?"
Sheldon looked at her and said, "Hmm...well, then, figuring out whether we go on three or before said number is futile, isn't it?"
"Too true. So we go after we say three and if there's more than one burglar, you keep the one I've just hit down on the floor, and I'll just go swinging," Kate told him.
"Good idea." Sheldon said.
"All right." Kate said, smiling. She sighed and pulled back the stick. He opened the door after they counted to three and went after three.
They burst through the door, moving down the hallway. Kate held up the wooden stick and hit the first person she saw, which happened to be Leonard, who fell on the floor, screaming.
Hearing him, Kate withdrew her second hit and looked down at a beetle-position Leonard Hodfstader. Sheldon touched her shoulder lightly and said, "It's not a burglar; our comic books are safe."
"How am I a burglar!" Leonard reacted immediately, looking up at Kate, although her holding a stick was a bit intimidating. "What's the matter with you two? Have you all gone bat-crap crazy!"
Sheldon looked at him pointedly, saying, "You didn't give us a reason to spare your life either, Leonard. A proper way of announcing your presence when no one is in the room is to retrieve acknowledgment from the hosts, then enter. Not the other way around." He indicated Kate, saying, "Otherwise, this stuff will happen more than usual."
Leonard looked at Kate, who lowered the stick.
"Why the hell are you the only one here?" Kate inquired, although her tone was normal now.
"Well," said Leonard. "I wanted to talk to you, Kate...unless you plan on hitting me, of course."
Sheldon held out his hand and pulled Leonard to his feet. The latter watched Kate warily but she only consented and went back into the bathroom, put up the stick, and then came back. She hugged Leonard and apologized.
"Why didn't you ask for an invitation if you saw no one here anyway," said Kate.
"It's not that I didn't know you guys were here," Leonard said. With a bit of mischief in his tone, he added, "I could hear you two from the living room. I didn't interrupt mainly because, well, you all were …come on, do I have to say it!"
Kate looked at Sheldon, who returned her formidable gaze. She expected him to blush or walk from the situation but apparently, this part of Sheldon—at least with Leonard in the room—had become comfortable with the knowledge of having sex in the apartment and if someone overheard, it was their conflict, not his. Kate doubted this would have been his reaction if it had been the girls, including Chance, in the room and Howard and Raj. Leonard was Sheldon's best friend. Kate surmised that Leonard would be more respectful of them, without the teasing, when the other friends weren't around to join in the fun.
Leonard saw Sheldon's arms, though—the scratches, although not very deep, were red, evident from blood having been drawn. As they started from the link between bicep and forearm, then ended to his wrists, Leonard seemed to draw from it that it wasn't Sheldon's doing, but Kate's. Leonard looked at her curiously.
"So," said Leonard. He cleared his throat, saying, "We had a bit of a rough session, didn't we?"
"Oh get over it, Leonard," Kate remarked coolly. "From what I've heard, you ruined Penny's bed."
Sheldon smiled at her. To Leonard, he said, "Do you have any aloe vera, because I think you've just been burned."
Leonard looked at Sheldon with lowered eyes, perhaps to point out that although Kate had made a good comeback, his comment was unnecessary. However, Leonard only looked at Sheldon's arms and said, "Does that hurt?"
"It stings," Sheldon conveyed. "Thanks for asking."
Leonard grinned broadly then turned to Kate. "So, about the question."
"Is it about the wedding?" Kate asked exasperatedly.
"Yeah," Leonard said, although he seemed uncertain now as to whether or not he should even ask the question.
Sheldon turned to Leonard, saying, "You were wrong, by the way, Leonard. She wasn't feeling withdrawn or unhappy with the state of our relationship; I should have remained with my first hypothesis and yet, you'd provided insufficient data placing me with the wrong conclusion."
"What?" Leonard said, confused. He sat in the armchair; Sheldon sat in his spot; Kate took two bottled waters and a Diet Coke can. She handed the two waters to Sheldon and Leonard respectively, and then opened her can of coke before sitting next to Sheldon; at first she crossed her legs but with a soft intake of breath, she winced, and then sat like an Indian.
Leonard had taken notice and he only smirked at Kate, while turning to Sheldon after a second.
"Your premise earlier suggested that you, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali thought Kate was being passive and withdrawn from being involved in your plans of the wedding because of some deprived happiness," said Sheldon coolly. "I've concluded that you were wrong."
"You mean you actually told—Kate, he actually talked to you about it?" complained Leonard.
"Of course," interrupted Sheldon. "Why not?"
"Why not—Sheldon, there are some things that men talk about and some things that girls talk about, and the two don't have to coincide," Leonard told him. "We were offering suggestions."
"And I've now arrived at a conclusion," Sheldon told him.
"Which is?" Leonard asked curiously.
Kate leaned forward and said sweetly, "I'm not so girly as your fiancee or Raj's girlfriend or Howard's wife. While I'm delighted with your upcoming nuptials, I don't intend to be an extremist in the parts of bridal shopping or flower ordering. The only thing with which I'll concern myself—I've told Sheldon this already—is that I want to know who's going to be the minister, and I want to know what dress I'm wearing. If it's pink, I'm out of the wedding completely."
"What's wrong with pink?" Leonard asked.
Kate repeated, "What's wrong with pink?"
She sighed but explained: "I don't wear pink, Leonard. I wear black and it normally has Batman somewhere on it." She pointed indicatively to her current Batman T-shirt, and its logo on the front. She continued: "Personally, pink is a lovely color and although I'm a girl and am entitled to like it, I don't care for its plain originality. I'm partial though if it's coupled with one or more colors. But knowing Penny, she'll pick the solid color and then I'll look like something from Hello Kitty."
Leonard chuckled at her reference, but simply agreed: "Argument plainly stated, and possessing understandable validity." He looked at Sheldon. "What else did you talk about on the way to the comic book store?"
"How did you know we went to the comic book store?" Sheldon remarked defensively.
Leonard gestured to Kate's bag on the coffee table,"It's Wednesday, Sheldon." In turn, he added, "Also Stuart told me you were acting stranger than usual."
"You can't take what Stuart says in retrospect as one complete fact," Sheldon noted.
"Well, what if I said that he said you literally pulled Kate out of the store with a glare on your face," said Leonard.
Sheldon gave him a condescending look, saying in the same tone, "What did I just say, Leonard."
Leonard looked at Kate and said, "What was it all about?"
"Sheldon was jealous," Kate said, smirking at her boyfriend. "Other guys were looking at me and he became a little possessive."
"Ohhh," Leonard vocalized with understanding—like everything made sense now. "So that's what triggered that." He indicated the bathroom. At this, Sheldon continued to look at Leonard as though he was a hopeless cause, but it was ineffective for he was grinning from ear to ear.
Sheldon only moved from the couch and went into the kitchen, perhaps more out of a distraction from what the situation had suggested. Kate's hand touched her neck and the Evenstar that laid on her collar bone drew Leonard's attention.
"Kate, what does Penny like, jewelry-wise?"
"Sorry?"
Leonard moved to sit on Kate's right. Her eyes followed him.
"I'm going ring shopping tomorrow and I need to know what Penny likes, without her telling me."
"Get her anything, smart guy," Kate told him. "Penny's not hard to buy for. She's more of a girl than I am."
Leonard gave her a 'wth' look but it only made Kate giggle. Sheldon joined them again and took a drink of water; Kate watched him momentarily, noting his presence, then turned to Leonard seriously.
"Leonard, Penny's a person possessing more feminine traits as any woman you'll ever find; she likes jewelry, shoes, and—for some reason—Hello Kitty." Kate told him. "She's obviously satisfied with the five-hundred dollar ring you bought her, in spite of its denoted price, but you can't go wrong with something bigger."
"Bigger?" Leonard emphasized, his voice rising an octave. "You mean I'm supposed to pay more for another ring than the previous I've already gotten her?"
"Well, if you want to get all stereotypical for most weddings, then, yes, I believe that's the gist."
"You believe?" Leonard questioned incredulously. "So all this isn't for fact, is it?"
Kate gave him a cool look, saying, "What, you think just because I'm a woman, I have a full grasp on weddings?"
"Well, yeah," said Leonard.
"All right," Kate sighed. She turned to him completely. "Let me give you a good idea about what you're looking at, Leonard, and listen to me carefully because while I am a woman, contrary to what you believe, I don't possess the full knowledge of this situation.
"What you're looking for is a diamond that tells Penny that you're willing to spend a fortune on her behalf for one occasion which, like a Senior prom, gives her the most happiness, and will ultimately be one of the biggest and most memorable days of her life," said Kate smoothly. "It's going to be something over five hundred dollars. Give or take another hundred."
Leonard stared at her. "Are you serious?"
"Completely," said Kate.
"So let me get this straight; you're telling me that my engagement ring should have been cheap so that way I could get a wedding ring more expensive but inexpensive at the same time?" Leonard remarked.
"More or less."
"But, according to you and, well, pretty much everyone else, the engagement ring had to be pricey."
"More or less," repeated Kate.
Leonard shook his head and said, "How's a man supposed to win?"
Sheldon leaned forward and said, "Leonard, you're getting married. From my understanding, there is no winning."
Leonard gave Sheldon a cold look but turned to Kate instead.
"So you think I should spend at least a thousand dollars on another ring," said Leonard tiredly.
"Not entirely."
"That's what you just said."
"I said 'more or less'," said Kate smoothly. "This is what separates girls and myself. Even my future husband knows that."
"What, wait, 'future husband'?"
"Mm," Kate uttered. "We're not engaged."
"But, you said..." began Leonard. Sheldon leaned past Kate.
"You heard the woman, Leonard; we're not engaged."
Leonard looked at the two but he had different ideas of what was going on between them. He said nothing though; he had his own situation to deal with before he could contemplate the relationship of Dr. and Dr. Cooper.
0.0.0
The afternoon continued. Leonard had arrived earlier to ask Kate the question of the ring, and although Kate's answer was unsettling, Leonard had the knowledge he needed: to get Penny a more expensive wedding ring than the engagement ring already having been presented.
It was six o'clock, two hours before Halo night officially began. Leonard sat in the armchair, on his computer, looking at new rings online. Assisting him was Kate, who was kneeling on the floor beside Leonard, her hands resting on the arm of the chair. She was in the progress of assisting him in picking out differential valued rings; although, her opinion only proved the generalization of what Penny could want, as Kate didn't know Penny that well, despite their many girl talks—jewelry just never seemed to be one of them.
Leonard looked at Kate after finally choosing a ring that they agreed would make Penny's eyes pop out of her head. It was nine hundred dollars, but that was free shipping and handling, and it was brand new, never worn, and it was also a real diamond (or at least, that's what the seller claimed).
"When you get it," said Kate, "take it to a pawn shop and have them appraise it."
"Why not go to Kay's?" asked Leonard.
"Because Pawn shops rely on their information of objects to buy and sell, plus they're mostly entreprenuers. The first thing about being a self-employed worker is to be honest with customers, because people tend to not go to someone who's a lying, cheating bastard." Kate stated. "Have you've ever seen Pawn Stars? They know their crap."
"It's not the owners that know their stuff," Leonard corrected. "It's the experts."
"So you have seen it?" Kate said, smirking. "Then you should know better, Leonard. Anyway, that's the ring if you want to see Penny say 'I love you' five hundred times in a row."
"If I wanted that, I'd just have sex with her."
"Yeah, no," Kate muttered.
She stood and sat beside Sheldon, who looked at her—it was an acknowledgment of her presence, as he went back to reading one of his physics magazines. Kate looked at Leonard.
"So, do you know if the girls are coming too?" Kate asked conversationally. Leonard closed his laptop and looked at her.
"Don't you know?"
"If I knew, would I have asked," Kate reasoned.
"I guess not," Leonard said. He shrugged, replying, "I don't know; Raj said something about Chance going out to dinner."
"With him?"
"No," said Leonard. "That's the funny part. Raj won't say who she's going out to dinner with."
"That sounds a bit suspicious," Sheldon noted. He looked at Leonard and said, "The correct syntax, FYI, Leonard, is 'Raj won't say with whom she's going to dinner'."
Leonard made a mocking face towards him, making Sheldon look at him as though he was an insubordinate child. However, Kate furrowed her eyebrows in thought.
"Why doesn't he ask?" Kate inquired.
"Maybe Chance doesn't want him to know," Leonard replied. He looked uncomfortable.
Kate gazed at him mysteriously. She sat on the coffee table, looking at Leonard with a piercing gaze.
"Leonard, do you know something that Raj doesn't?" asked Kate slowly.
Sheldon saw Kate sitting on the table.
"Kate, there are two other seats beside me, two stools, and a desk chair; tables are meant for eating and a place upon where things sit—your buttocks are not one of them." Sheldon told her.
Kate looked at him, but she reconciled; she stood and pulled up Sheldon's desk chair, looking at Leonard directly. Under her gaze, Leonard began acting strange; he puffed a few sighs and said shakily, "No."
Kate continued to stare at him. Fixed under her unblinking gaze, Leonard was constantly shifting and positioning uncomfortably in the armchair. Sheldon, who began noticing Leonard's odd behavior, glanced at Kate, whom he considered to be the source of whatever was making Leonard wiggle consistently. Seeing her gaze, Sheldon raised his eyebrows.
"Leonard, I'm impressed," Sheldon said, closing his laptop.
Leonard looked at him, saying, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Kate has a stare of a hawk—even I've noticed you're acting unlike yourself, which can only mean you're hiding something. I smell evil afoot," Sheldon stated. He looked at Kate, saying, "Keep doing what you're doing, Kate. You're getting to him!"
"All right!" Leonard blurted loudly, glaring at the woman whose eyes finally blinked in surprise from his sudden lapse in secret-keeping.
Sheldon stood to put his laptop on his desk, smiling at Kate. To her, he congratulated, "Good work, Lieutenant; you've cracked Hodfstader without a spot light or the use of the infamous torture, water boarding. The military should consider you for hire."
He sat in his spot, and lifted his right leg over the left. His hands clasped over his stomach, prepared for whatever secret Leonard was ready to spill. Kate leaned forward with her elbows placed on her knees, and she had, too, clasped her hands together.
"What's going on with Chance, Leonard," said Kate. "And don't think just because she's my friend that you need to hold back. I'll know if you do."
Leonard gazed at her skeptically but when Kate continued to stare at him with the unblinking bright eyes, he sighed in defeat, lowering his head.
"All right, I'll tell you everything."
"Please do," Sheldon said.
Leonard sighed again and he turned to Kate.
"Howard and I were in the comic book store and while we were there, we found Chance."
"All right," said Kate.
"With someone else."
"Who?"
Leonard sighed and he held his hand above his head, indicating something or someone taller than him. Sheldon quirked at the indication but Kate was caught in the cryptic sign language.
"Kurt?" Sheldon exclaimed.
"Who?" Kate remarked, turning her eyes to Sheldon.
"Kurt—one of Penny's tall brutes; taller than all of us combined, and yet dumber than a rock," Sheldon told Kate.
"How do you all know him?" Kate stated.
Leonard sighed and said weakly, "We first met him when Penny asked me a favor. She'd just moved into the building and...well, one thing led to another."
Evidently, Sheldon found his subtlety annoying as he interrupted Leonard. He leaned forward and said to Kate logically, "Don't be fooled by his misdemeanor, Kate. He agreed to fetch a television from one of Penny's ex boyfriends, so she avoided a confrontation, and we had to come to his door step, and ask for it."
"What happened?" asked Kate.
"He took Leonard's and my pants," Sheldon told her disapprovingly. He shook his head. "Our next encountered was at Penny's mediocre Halloween party in which I was dressed as a scientific symbol representing the Doppler Effect; Koothrappali was Thor; Wolowitz was Robin Hood, although many perceived him to be Peter Pan, and Leonard was a Hobbit, although to Kurt, he was a dwarf—the idiot couldn't tell the difference, in spite of Leonard's explanations."
Kate looked at the two of them, her comprehension was slow but the description of Kurt's lower than life intelligence was clear enough. She looked at Sheldon.
"You were the Doppler Effect?"
"Yes," said Sheldon. "Please tell me you know what that is because I've had to explain it to several people at the party."
"I know what it is. It's the sound waves described when sound is approaching a still object and leaving," said Kate.
Sheldon beamed, looking at Leonard, saying, "See, Leonard? Kate knows what it is." He said excitedly, "On another day, I'll show you my costume."
"I'd love that," replied Kate. To Leonard, she said, "So Kurt's a tall guy and what he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for with brawn and height."
"Pretty much," Leonard told her.
"Pretty much?" Sheldon repeated. He looked at Kate, saying, "It's not nebulous; it's a statement of truth on its face."
Kate frowned, looking at Leonard. "So you're saying she's cheating on Rajesh?"
"No," said Leonard.
"She's with another man."
"Yeah."
"Was she kissing him?"
"No."
"Was she touching him?"
"Somewhat."
Kate stared at Leonard, her face slowly becoming pink with impatience and obvious frustration, saying, "How can she somewhat be touching him, Leonard? Was she or was she not?"
"She was," Leonard said quickly. "Kate, we aren't sure. We haven't said anything to anyone because we're not sure; cheating is different on people's scales."
Kate stood, crossing her arms.
"Leonard, was she touching Kurt around his waist or making faces at him? Was she talking sweetly to him? If so, she's cheating. What's the fence on that?"
Leonard stared at her, saying, "Kate, opposite genders hanging out together isn't cheating."
"But if they're making goo-goo faces at one another, holding hands, touching faces, or flirting, it is cheating."
"Flirting isn't cheating; Howard does it all the time," Leonard said. "It's all good humor."
"Leonard, Howard does it playfully because I'm his friend and I'm also a friend of Bernadette's. From what you're telling me, or really, what you're not telling me is that they are flirting, which, in this case, is adultery."
"Chance isn't married."
"You don't have to be fricking married to a person for adultery to happen!" Kate snapped furiously.
Leonard leaned all the way back in his chair, intimidated by her anger. Sheldon stared at Kate incredulously.
"If you saw Chance flirting with another man, and he was flirting back, it's your responsibility as Rajesh's friends to tell him. He deserves to know," said Kate.
"What if he already knows?" Leonard asked.
"Then it won't be anything new," Kate replied coldly.
"But Chance is our friend..."
"Leonard Hodfstader, if Chance is cheating on Rajesh, she won't be," Kate told him. "Raj is a sweet guy and if Chance is going to use him like that, she might as well be dead to him and myself. Now, you call Raj, one way or another, and tell him what you and Howard saw, or, so help me, I will."
Leonard looked at Kate, saying, "We don't know for sure, Kate."
Kate pulled out her phone, turning to Sheldon.
"Sheldon, what's Raj's number?"
"Okay, okay!" Leonard said immediately. He sighed and pulled out his phone from his jean pocket. "I'm calling him."
Kate sat next to Sheldon, who looked at her, a bit alarmed. She was shaking her head derisively.
"Kate, am I to understand you're angry?" Sheldon said. "The evidence provided that you're pink in the face, shaking uncontrollably, and previously exhibited sub-psychotic rage and increased volume in vocalization."
"Yes, Sheldon, I'm angry."
Sheldon watched Leonard stand and talk to Rajesh on the phone. He turned to Kate curiously.
"Are you mad at Leonard? Because if so, I'm the captain of the Halo team; I can easily take him out and get Stuart to replace him," Sheldon sympathized.
"I'm not mad at Leonard," Kate muttered.
"Your dulcet tones say otherwise," Sheldon responded sarcastically.
Kate crossed her arms and shook her head angrily. With a shaky voice, she said, "I'm not angry at Leonard, Sheldon. I'm angry at myself."
"Why? You didn't do anything wrong."
"I should have known better than to think Chance had changed." Kate said coldly. She looked at Sheldon. "I'm sorry I doubted you."
Sheldon and Kate turned to Leonard as he was apologizing to Raj—not for what he was saying, but for the truth of what he was telling. Kate frowned and told Sheldon, "This might have ruined Halo night."
"No worries," said Sheldon. He scooted to the edge of the couch and pulled out his phone from the back of his pants, and unlocked it.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to call Stuart and invite him over for Halo night; considering what I've watched on cartoons and television shows, the victim of adultery is hardly in the mood to play video games or convene with friends; we will need another player and Stuart proves to be a valuable gamer." Sheldon told Kate. He looked at her pointedly, saying, "Unless you want to play."
"I'm not good at Halo," Kate said. "I love Mario, Skyrim, and I'm one hell of a wheels-woman on Grand Theft Auto, but I'm poor in Halo."
Sheldon smiled at her gently as Kate brushed a hand warily through her hair. He touched her shoulder, patting it lightly, and uttered, "There, there."
Kate smiled at him, but said nothing. Leonard was off the phone and he looked at Kate.
"So?" Kate stated.
"So, it's as expected; Raj is sobbing like a girl and I'm feeling guilty," Leonard said. He sat in the armchair, looking worn down.
Kate stood and opened Sheldon's desk drawer which contained his important thesis papers and amongst the important documents, the Roommate-Relationship Agreement. However, she didn't pull it out; instead, there was another document that Leonard had never seen before. Kate took one of the pens from Sheldon's jar of writing utensils and after scribbling, she straightened and handed Sheldon the document.
He placed his phone on the end table beside the couch and looked at the document curiously, then to Kate.
"What is it?" asked Leonard.
Sheldon answered, "It's a Document of Expulsion."
"Okay, so what is it?" Leonard asked.
Sheldon took the paper and read it over.
"Seeing that Chance has hurt Rajesh in the worst ways a woman could possibly hurt a man," said Kate coldly, "I'm banishing her from this apartment here and hereafter. In order to do it, I need the primary signatory to sign as well." She looked at Leonard pointedly, saying, "I can't send, reinstate, or rescind banishment; that's Sheldon's department."
Sheldon looked at the document and looked up at Kate.
"You do know the magnitude of what this sanction represents, Kate," acknowledged Sheldon decisively. His tone was one of seriousness.
"Yes," said Kate.
Leonard looked between Kate and Sheldon.
"Wait, you're telling me that you're not going to have further communication with Chance after that's signed?" asked Leonard. "What if she comes to you for questions..."
Kate glared at him. "Do you honestly think I'd cater to that traitor's emotions after what she'd done to Rajesh?"
"No, no, nope, not me, nope," Leonard said quickly, holding his hands up in retreat and leaned as far back into the armchair necessary to avoid her fury.
"If you're sure then," said Sheldon.
Kate handed him the pen she'd used to sign her name. Sheldon saw Kate had written Chance's full name (Chance Renee Briar) in the line provided for the one being banished, then signed her name in the doctoral signature, and dated. Sheldon signed his name, and then handed it to Kate in turn. She looked at Leonard and took the pen from Sheldon, handing it to him.
"What?" asked Leonard.
"You're the witness: sign."
"I'm not signing that," said Leonard. "That has all kinds of chaos in it."
"Sign it, Leonard, or I'll tell Penny you weren't going to tell Rajesh about the cheat," threatened Kate.
"Blackmail, Kate?" Sheldon inquired, surprised. "That's highly unnecessary."
"I deem it very necessary," Kate told him, her gaze still on Leonard. "Sign it, Leonard. Or I'll stare at you, unblinkingly, for the next five minutes; and I'm a champion when it comes to staring contests."
Leonard hedged and took the pen reluctantly. He signed his name and gave to Kate. She took both the pen and document, placing it in the Roommate-Relationship Agreement papers. She sat beside Sheldon.
"That was dramatic," Leonard noted.
Kate gazed at him coolly then turned to Sheldon.
"I'm going to the convenient store," said Kate. "Do you want an icee?"
Sheldon gazed at her curiously, saying, "Why are you going to the convenient store?"
"Because I want ice cream," Kate told him. She stood and took the keys from the bowl. "Plus, I feel like pigging out. After all, my best friend betrayed my friend and I figure that makes me a bad person considering I hooked them up."
"It's not your fault," Leonard said.
"Of course it's not," Kate returned reproachfully. "And that's why it feels like it is." She looked at her boyfriend and said softly, "Icee, Sheldon?"
"Blue, please," Sheldon said, smiling.
"Leonard?"
"I'll have the same."
"All right," said Kate. She unlocked her Iphone and began taking orders from Howard andRajesh (who, to her convincing of buying him ice cream as well, for he felt the same affect, agreed to come for Halo night). Knowing Stuart would come anyway, Kate called him for his order, and he gave it to her, asking what had happened; Kate told him. As Kate walked out of the building, Stuart was still on the phone.
"So, Chance did the bad deed, huh?"
"Yeah," said Kate sadly. "She did. And I feel so stupid for having believed her."
"Kate," said Stuart.
"Yeah?"
"I'm not good with this kind of thing; do you want to talk to Amy? She's coming with me. We kind of had plans, but you know how Sheldon can be."
"Yeah," said Kate lightly. "I know how he can be. Yeah, sure, put her on the phone."
In spite of Kate and Amy not talking a lot, Kate felt the closest to her; they shared more where social conventions were concerned, and of course, they had Sheldon in comparison. While Kate was still jealous of Amy having been his first girlfriend, and Amy a little grudgeful that Kate had gotten past and above Second Base with Sheldon, the two girls remained the most compatible with each other. Kate didn't want to talk to Penny or Bernadette, or especially Chance. Sheldon couldn't understand the betrayal, under terms of empathy—he knew the logical treachery in it, but 'there, there' could only go so far.
"Hello, Kate," said Amy from the other line.
Kate got into her car.
"Hello, Amy. How are you?"
"Well, I was doing fine until Stuart opted to go to Sheldon's. However, learning that you will be in my presence has increased my previous displeasure to mild satisfaction and in the process, Stuart and I are driving to your apartment." Amy told her.
Kate smiled; she was practically Sheldon's female counterpart. Maybe that was why she felt more comfortable talking to her.
"Did Stuart tell you what happened?" asked Kate.
"Not necessarily; his words, if I remember them correctly, were 'You better hear it from her'. Am I to be under the impression that there has been a mutiny in your gaggle of friends, and I'm to be catty?"
"Catty, yes and mutiny, yes."
"Who's the treacherous bitch?" Amy replied boldly.
It caught Kate off guard but she started the engine of her Batmobile.
"Chance."
"Ah. Well, Kate, I have to imbibe you on my acknowledgments and tell you 'you should have seen this one coming'. I never believed Chance to be fully rehabilitated; through our prior encounters, I considered her promiscuous attire and activities suspicious and off-putting." Amy admitted. "Are you affected?"
"Yeah," confessed Kate.
"From what Stuart has told me, you're taking orders for preferred refreshments and snacks?" Amy asked.
"Yeah. I'm going to the convenient store for ice cream. Since it's Halo night, I figured everyone else may want something too. I'm getting Sheldon and Leonard blue icees, Rajesh wants ice cream too, and Stuart told me he wants McDonald's take-out. I'm getting alcohol, against my better judgment, but from what Penny's relayed to me, it goes great with ice cream."
"I confirm it as well," said Amy, her voice taking on happiness. "I enjoy the combination, although it's rather befuddling at first. Personally, one would advise eating ice cream and drinking alcohol two separate activites but the combination is spontaneous and riveting."
Kate smiled. Ah, Amy's humor.
"Yeah," said Kate. "Did you want something? I'm almost there."
"I'll also take ice cream," said Amy. "Am I to assume that no other females will be at your apartment besides the two of us?"
"Yeah," said Kate. "Not exactly a girls' night but the way I feel, I don't want to talk to anyone. I feel bad about what Chance did to Rajesh."
"It's not uncommon for women to feel similar betrayal, Kate. Your emotions derive from the betrayal of Chance committing treachery to another friend. Consider this, Kate; in order to resolve your mixture of anger and deceit towards yourself and the malicious veternarian, you may want to reconcile your friendship with Rajesh. You were the matchmaker of the two and because Chance became a failed experimental factor, as the scientist, you've appointed the failed relationship as one of your own shortcomings."
"When did you become a psychologist?" Kate muttered.
"It's not psychology, Kate. In some terms, it could be, but I digress; when one understands the brain's activities, one can depict what's going on in its neurons and different stages. There are certain parts of your brain that cause such emotions. To reconcile them, one can either speak to the similary betrayed, or dissect; if you want, I'm the most qualified candidate to slice your brain like Canadian bacon," said Amy.
Kate smiled and said, "No, that's not necessary."
"Well, darn." Amy said. Although she sounded serious.
"I'm pulling into the convenient store; I'll talk to you later," said Kate.
"All right then. Good-bye, Kate."
"Good-bye, Amy." Kate returned. She clicked off and then entered the store.