Love Is Hell
Chapter Twenty: The Robotic Demoralization
-SPOILER ALERT: Those who've not seen Lord of the Rings trilogy would best not read this chapter, since it contains references to the movie. Don't say "she didn't tell me"!
As usual per a movie, Kate sat on the outer part of the row, considering her need for air was predicated on her seat; her claustrophobia never really went away, merely stayed inside her until it wished to be adhered to; in this case, it was when Sheldon and Kate sat in the middle of the row and the others piled in that she felt suffocated. Sheldon forced Leonard to move out of the seat closest to the row and sit in the third row from it—Sheldon wanted to sit beside Kate, no exceptions.
The movie was filled with previews, all about different hygienic products, shampoo, football tickets soon to be presented to whomever could text this and this. As the previews went on, and on, and on, and on, Kate leaned back in her seat and looked at Sheldon silently. He caught her gaze and reciprocated it.
"At what are you staring, besides me?" Sheldon replied lightly.
"Nothing in particular," Kate responded.
There was some talk past them, between Penny and Bernadette. Sheldon leaned over to glance at them then turned to Kate.
"I believe the discussion of one becoming Maid of Honor is currently making its head out of the water," Sheldon noted, sitting back in his own seat.
"Why do you say that?"
"Although there is an infinite number of things you women talk about, the wedding is the utmost popular." Sheldon reminded her. "I am only too thankful that you don't concern yourself with such nonsense."
Kate smiled.
"Even as a robot, Sheldon, I would still be female," Kate told him.
"Not if I programmed you that way," Sheldon told her.
"And you'd be my programmer?"
"Of course I would," Sheldon replied obviously. "Why would I dismantle your originality and reassemble it against my own preferences; that would benefit no one."
Kate smirked at him, saying, "Mm, I suppose not. But what good would I be if I wasn't a female robot?"
"Kate, robots are unisex."
"Doesn't meant they can't experience human emotions. When a computer becomes infected with a virus, doesn't it tell you when it's sick? When it needs to restart, it does so on its own, not when you say so."
"My computer restarts when I command," Sheldon said seriously.
"Not all computers obey you, Sheldon," Kate returned. She turned in her seat, bending her knee so she sat on her right leg, looking at him pointedly. "In any point given, I could be a female robot if you programmed me to be so. If I wasn't, I might as well be a Windows 7, right?"
"Too true," Sheldon conceded. He looked at her, saying, "Would you like your brain to be placed in a robot if you knew—for a fact—you were going to leave?"
"You mean 'die'?" asked Kate.
"Without being blunt, yes," Sheldon replied.
Kate smiled and said, "As I see, Sheldon, whatever you do with my brain is your business. I'd be dead; why would I care?"
"Why would you—because, Kate, it's the preservation of a species that isn't completely evolved yet." Sheldon mirrored her, so they were looking at each other. "I'm surprised you've not this one through completely."
"I don't think about death, Sheldon," Kate said, amused.
"Why not?" Sheldon replied. "I've thought of it enough that I know, without taking into consideration of the surprised accidents to come, that I will die when I'm at least seventy, preventing me from seeing the day where I will become one of the lucky guinea pigs whose brain will be placed in a robot and experience life as such. And you're not even sure how you want to leave?"
"Frankly, Sheldon, I see death at my workplace every day I'm there. I see it, feel it—I don't want to think about it when I am home," said Kate smoothly. "Besides, whenever it happens, I'm not afraid of it."
"You're not afraid?" Sheldon repeated incredulously. "That's a lot of bravery coming from someone who believes in Karma."
Kate smiled still, but it was losing its luster.
"All I know, Sheldon, is that should it happen, you can place me in your robot. That way, no matter what, I'll be with you. Program me correctly and I can still come to movies and drive you places; at a certain point, you can make me a Transformer."
"I congratulate myself on my technological knowledge of the assortments, Kate," said Sheldon dismissively, "But building you into a Transformer would take a lot of effort and time."
"So," said Kate. "Work with Howard and Leonard."
"Not when the project is you; I wouldn't afford to risk it," Sheldon replied. "You know, in order to bypass this entirely, we can just get your brain transferred right now."
"No," said Kate. She sat back in her seat correctly. "I'm not having my brain placed in a robot."
"Why not?"
Kate looked at him and said, "Because if I am a robot, how am I supposed to complete the rest of this Date Night?"
"Watching a movie and eating popcorn are two basic daily activities one can accomplish with a robot," Sheldon corrected.
As to prove her point, Kate leaned forward and kissed him on the lips—it was hard enough where she demonstrated a sudden passion, but quick enough that no one noticed. Sheldon looked at her, entranced.
"And that's my point, Sheldon." She said lightly.
She turned her eyes back to the movie. Sheldon merely looked at her for a little longer but began watching the movie as well.
Xx
As the movie had started, those that were given 3-D glasses, put them on; Leonard fought with his to keep them aligned with his frames. As they all became hypnotized by the arrows shooting into the audience or a very angry troll running towards them (the audience would lean back in their seats while some screamed), it was an great hit-off.
Sheldon looked at Kate who was immersed in the movie plot. She'd seen it before but the fact that things were actually coming after her was all the more enthralling. It was halfway into the movie and this featured the Fellowship entering the Cavernous home of the late Balin.
Kate looked at Sheldon and quietly said, "How does one not understand that the Dwarves were all killed? I mean, their skeletons are right there."
Sheldon returned her inquiring gaze, but didn't say anything as Gandalf lit his staff and it gave a very large and three-dimensional eye-opener. Kate heard the audience go 'oohh' and all of them quoted Samwise Gamgee about the said eye opener. Never was it boring to watch a movie with equally obsessed Lord of the Ring nerds.
It then came to the scene were Gandalf forgot where they were as he didn't recollect every being there. At this, Kate leaned forward, murmuring, "If you were Gandalf, we wouldn't be having this problem."
Sheldon found her comment amusing for he smiled.
Sitting beside him was Leonard, and he leaned past Sheldon, saying, "I'm glad we chose this movie, Kate; this is great!"
"No problem," Kate returned. "Did Bernadette say 'yes' to being Penny's Maid of Honor?"
"Yeah," said Leonard. "Although, I don't think she likes how you and Amy had already declined the offer and left her on the spot."
"How did she leave Bernadette on the spot?" Sheldon retorted, looking at Leonard. "It wasn't an option—it was what had to be done."
"None the less, if she had said 'no', it would have made her feel terrible," said Leonard. He shrugged, saying, "Her words, not mine."
Kate rolled her eyes, saying, "I wasn't the one that said 'good idea'."
Leonard returned to his position next to Penny. Sheldon glanced from the couple to Kate.
"Am I to understand that Bernadette accepted Penny's offer but is under the impression that she did it for sake of obligation, without the spontaneity?"
Kate nodded, saying, "Surprisingly, yes."
"I don't know why you're surprised that I've caught that. I excel in so many things."
"Yes, but localizing the generalization of emotions really is never your field of expertise," Kate whispered in return.
"I disagree; since meeting you, I feel I've become more familiar with it," said Sheldon. He frowned, saying, "Although, I do find myself dubious of others' actions; for instance,"-he leaned closer to her—"The other day Penny suggested the wedding be at the Cheesecake Factory, yet I don't know if she was being sarcastic or relatively distant towards me."
"Was she excited?" asked Kate.
"No."
"Then she was being sarcastic," Kate replied.
"See? I'm not familiar with it," Sheldon muttered. "I understand your emotional placation for reasons that I spend more than enough time with you. If not for the fact that it doesn't exist, we'd be linked telepathically, you and I...compatible in thought, and every form and definition of the existence."
Kate smiled and said, "You're saying you believe we're soul mates."
"That's hokum." Sheldon immediately retorted.
However, as Kate leaned back in her seat to continue watching the movie, he replied quietly, "But never the less, I didn't say it."
Kate breathed a small chuckle. She looked at him pointedly, saying, "So has Penny picked a wedding spot, or is she confused still?"
"The question still stands; I don't even think she knows."
"Wedding spots aren't exactly limited," Kate said. "Didn't Howard and Bernadette get married on the roof?"
"Yes, and married by his friends, none the less," whispered Sheldon. He paused before saying, "I was going to speak my part in Klingon but Bernadette objected."
Kate chuckled, saying, "You had a whole speech in Klingon?"
"Yes, and translated, it was less than immaculate."
"Well, during our wedding, you can speak Klingon all you want," Kate told him.
"Really?" Sheldon replied incredulously.
"Yeah," Kate returned. "Granted, that would mean we'd have to have a translator."
"Leonard could translate."
"It doesn't sound as sexy when Leonard does it," Kate muttered. She looked at Sheldon with a provocative gaze, saying, "I like it when you speak it. It's more elegant."
"If you want elegance, Kate, I suggest Elvish Sandarin, not Klingon. Klingons are naturally brutal and rough; elegance is not one of them."
"Then Elvish," Kate consented. "But I have to warn you, it would best be a quick wedding."
Sheldon blinked, looking at her curiously. With one of innocence, he asked, "Why is that?"
"You wouldn't have to worry about dismantling your Windows Vista, let's just say that," Kate remarked lightly. She smirked at him and he, at first, stared at her with confusion, but when he saw the curvature of her smile, there was that familiar click.
"Really, Kate? We're in a movie theater," Sheldon chastised.
Kate shrugged.
"If the location of dirty thoughts was illegal and should I be arrested for my quarry, I'd be locked in a cage for a million years," said Kate lightly.
Sheldon looked at her pointedly, replying, "Really, Kate? A million years?"
"Give or take a century."
"Now you're being ridiculous." Sheldon whispered.
Kate shrugged shamelessly. She looked at the big screen; it was the fiery part of the movie...literally. The Fire Demon, or rather, the Balrog of Morgoth, pursued The Fellowship of the Ring, a few moments before Gandalf would shout his famous (and most quotable words) YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Kate was so into the moment that when Gandalf fell from the precipice, she shouted with Frodo "GANDALF" and the audience glanced at Kate momentarily. The scene following was the fellowship crying over the loss of a true friend.
Sheldon looked at Kate momentarily as well, although his shock had not completely worn off. Kate had regularly bouts of being involved in movies, but never had he heard one of his own express such...what was it...emotion? As the scene came where Aragorn disbanded and told everyone to 'get over it', Kate compiled her disposition.
"Sorry," Kate said quickly. "I get a little overwhelmed."
"No one blames you," Leonard said, leaning past Sheldon. "I feel the same way!"
Xx
The movie came to a close when the Fellowship segregated into three teams, unintentionally of course. With Merry and Pippin having been kidnapped, and Frodo Baggins and, coincidentally, Samwise, on their different path, it only left Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli to fight their way to saving Pippin and Merry. The movie ended and everyone—literally everyone—stood to their feet and clapped magnanimously. A voice distinctly from the crowd say, "SHOW IT AGAIN!" Some laughed at this.
Kate sat in her seat as the large crowd began to get out of their seats and head for the door. On point, Penny, Stuart, Leonard, and Amy stood as well but seeing Sheldon and Kate continue to sit, Leonard sat behind her and reminded her that movie was over.
"I know," said Kate. "I'm here for my safety."
"Safety?" asked Amy. "Although I do understand the need to maintain one's safety from hazardous places, I don't think there will be anyone pulling a gun in the theater; a sword, perhaps, or a bow and arrow, but not any weaponry assorting those of bullets."
"I don't fear my physical safety," Kate said, though she was laughing. "I'm claustrophobic."
"Ah," said Amy. "An irrational fear that's not uncommon. Being your best friend, would you like me to wait here for you until the crowd reduces in large number, or would you prefer me to continue with my boyfriend while we wait in the lobby for you?"
"No, that's fine. You can go home if you wish," said Kate gently. She glanced over her shoulder to see the pushing people. "At this rate, I might take a good thirty minutes."
Sheldon glanced past her, observing the number of people. To Kate, he said, "Actually it'll take forty-five minutes."
"Here we go," muttered Leonard, glancing agonizingly at Penny.
"This room takes at least fifty occupants; considering the popularity of the movie and the cheap price of tickets per person, we can generally assume that the whole theater was filled. Fifty times the average rate that these poor deluded souls are passing through that door would be at least forty-five minutes."
"Why do you have to do the math?" groaned Penny.
Kate smirked at Sheldon as she said, "Because it's so damn sexy."
Sheldon looked from an annoyed Penny to Kate; her smile was provocative. He double-glanced her then looked at Penny.
"Mathematics is one of my favorite interests, Penny. I thought you would already know that," said Sheldon.
Leonard looked at Penny, saying, "You brought it on yourself."
"I know, I know," Penny muttered, shaking her head.
As the movie goers finally let out, Kate and Sheldon stood and walked out of the theater. The others behind them prayed thankfully to a god—whomever they so believed to exist—and walked to their cars.