I ended up taking that dog home. I still don't like dogs but I feel he is connected to Cas. And right now, I'll take anything. Even a fleabag. But I gotta say, I do kind of enjoy this dog's company. Even though he needs a bath. Bad. This should be interesting. But will I be able to take care of this dog the way I am? I mean, just the blueness of his eyes, will I be able to look at this dog in the face long enough to cleans him without bursting in tears at the thought of Cas? All I can do it's try...
Twenty minutes later the dog is covered in soup bubbles and I'm started to laugh. The first time in a while. It feels good. I've decided I'll name the dog Rex. I don't know why, it's just he seems like a Rex u guess. While I am rinsing Rex off, he takes a long leap out of the tub and runs out of the bathroom and I knew exactly where he was heading. My bed. "Reeeeexxx! Now! Don't even think about it!" Too let. He's rolling all over my sheets. Great. "Sonofabitch! Rex why- No! I'm turning into one of those weird dog talking people! Gah! Cas!" Cas. I felt all the laughter slip away. I miss him. So much. I don't even care that Rex has dog infested my bed. I crawl on it and hug the wet dog. "I'm sorry." I don't understand why I am being like this. I close my eyes and fall asleep.
I woke with a silent tear on my Cheek, I don't remember what I could've been dreaming of but I had a strong feeling it was Cas. I always dream of him. Dammit Cas. Where are you? "Why won't you speak to me? Why won't you come back? Why won't you give me a reason for your departure? I need you buddy. I need you home. Cas? If you can hear me, I love you. And I hope that whatever you're doing, wherever you are, I hope you have a good reason. But please Cas I need you." My morning prayer seemed weak but I new it got the message though, if he even heard me– is he even listening? I suddenly remembered the dog. Rex. I new he would need some food and so would I. I roll out of bed and find myself standing in the presence of the dog. He runs to the door and I'm like, "You got to be kidding me? This early? I don't have a -" I scan the room and find a long rope, "This'll work." I tie the rope around his neck and take him outside. I'm still in my clothes from yesterday, I don't care. He leads me down the walk of the complex, and stops at spot and stares at me. "What? Oh. Ok. Fine. I'll give you your privacy. Just know the factor better be retuned." I turn around and start to scale the outlook. To my far right I see a long road, the highway. The one I took yesterday when I found Rex... Where I saw Him. To my left there is a dead end of trees and brush. It's full looking and I can't help but get a feeling to march over there and just trow myself into the embrace of the twigs. Not literally, but it's just that feel that something important is there Please don't be a Job. I can't do this now. I'm not ready— What was that? I saw something move. It was moving in the wind. "Did you see that?" I asked the dog like an idiot. But he pulled me back inside. So I shook it off as nothing. Just nothing. Once inside I fixed a BLT and gave Rex some bacon as well. He enjoyed it. But I knew if be buying dog food soon. I picked up my plate and when I turned around to face the sink, I looked straight up at the window. There I saw a flash if Cas. I stood there. Frozen. Broken. Where is he? Three years and I'm still seeing him. I have no clue where he is. Why won't he come back? "Cas." I say in a low tone below my breath. Rex barked and I was brought out of my trance. "Oh. Yeah." I shook my head and placed the plate into the sink.
A couple hours later I realized I needed to go buy some dog food. As I was driving home from the store, Rex in the passenger seat of the Impala. -Yeah, it used to be a rule: no dogs in the car. Now, not so much.- He is staring out the window an starts to bark. I think he may see something, so I pull Baby over and open my door. Rex jumps out of the Impala, and I realize where we are. We're at the place I found Rex. He takes off running back into the woods. Out if instinct I follow the dog, again, into the woods. We run to the same spot as last time , just a little farther to the edge of the lake. I can see the water flowing and the wind is blowing ferociously. Rex is sitting on the round facing the lake and seems like he's staring to the other side. I follow his gaze and notice some. It's a light brown colour. It's flowing in the wind, out from behind a tree. And I would know that colour brown from anywhere. Because it wasn't just any brown, it was the brown of trench coat. A very, very, very lovely trench coat. I felt my heart almost stop beating. It was Cas. It was truly him. I almost can't keep myself from diving into the lake and swimming to him. That's when I hear my own voice, "CAS!" I yell out to him, "You're home!" I feel a smile spread on my face, a huge smile. It's him. It's Cas. Love has finally returned! That when I black out. That last thought. Total darkness.