"One without love, no more revisited"
Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless, Colbie Caillat's song "Stay with me", or any Mumford and Sons song
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Chapter 6: "Whiplash"
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Ritsuka didn't care what anyone thought if they saw him pounding his hands against rocks and dirt. Tears streamed down his face as he shook his head.
"No no NO!"
Hearing the sudden snapping of a twig, he looked up. Through tear-fogged eyes he saw that familiar tall form.
Heart racing Soubi rushed to his side, gathering his boyfriend in his arms.
"I'll keep you safe"… how could I break that promise?!...
"Get away!" the teen yelled in a tearful voice with a push.
"Ritsuka please", he reached out.
"Get away from me you liar!" weak hands pushed against muscles. The word "liar" hurt far more than the smaller hands.
"I knew it, I knew it!" he cried.
*Let me die where I lie…
Glimmering amethyst eyes met azure, "Soubi how could you do this?"
Soubi couldn't bear to look into those eyes right now. He already felt more guilt than he thought he could ever experience.
In the moonlight he saw dark drops pouring from his young love's hands.
- A light touch to a hand, and it was ripped away.
"Ritsuka I love you, please let me explain."
"Am I too young, is that it? It's never been a problem before!" he cried furiously.
"Ritsuka please breathe"
"Don't tell me what to do" he growled. It was the first time Soubi saw that flash in his eyes- it mirrored those of Seimei.
Beginning to choke on sobs, Ritsuka vomited on dead grass. He weakly crawled a few feet away and tried to stand but his legs gave way and he crashed back to his knees.
Crouching beside his shaking, balled up partner Soubi spoke quietly. "Ritsuka that damn girl threw herself at me-"
Ritsuka cut him off "So you couldn't resist?! I get it." His chest felt tight and his lungs could barely move.
"No. Ritsuka she…" it felt shitty using the word "attacked me… I couldn't hurt her because she's a student not part of a team, and if I used a spell on her she would have died".
Ritsuka heard his words but they could not break through the barrier destructive thoughts had constructed.
He's going to leave me… how could I be so stupid?… he was just using me… he doesn't love me!…
His head shook so much that Soubi feared he would get whiplash.
Gentle hands cupped his damp face, "Ritsuka I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you". Oh did this feel like a rewind, but then "I would never cheat on you". That word left a bitter taste in his mouth the concept disgusted him so much.
The wall of destruction in Ritsuka's mind had a strong hold, years of depression saw to that.
He's lying…
"Stop lying!" he spat.
"Ritsuka… do you really believe I spent all these years with you for no reason?"
"Seimei ordered it. You obeyed."
Soubi knew the many causes of the intense pain his boyfriend felt. He couldn't bear to be added to the list, not again, not after how far they came.
"Ritsuka look at me" he pleaded. This madness was grinding into his bones, and he needed Ritsuka to believe he was not lying.
In spite of his anger, the teen did turn.
Usually strong blue eyes were filled with deep sadness; this broke the spell of evil thoughts.
"I'm sorry you witnessed that Ritsuka, but would it have been better if you saw her dead on the floor?" He was not being cruel, just truthful. "There wasn't much I could do to that whore."
He never spoke this way; it was obvious what happened filled him with anguish.
"I am sorry" he said again, crashing to his knees. Strong arms spread around his loved one's torso which shook with more sobs.
Both felt like they were drowning.
*It was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?...
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End of chapter 6
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I'm still so evil. Please review.