"One without love, no more revisited"

Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless, "Only one" by Yellow Card, or "The Reason" by Hoobastank.

Chapter 7: Imperfect

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Ritsuka collapsed from hyperventilation. After wiping vomit from his mouth, Soubi lifted the teen into his arms.

Fortunately the rain and darkness kept them from judgmental eyes.

Soubi did not hurry, all that mattered was Ritsuka was safe, and in his arms.

*Broken this fragile thing now and I can't pick up the pieces… I feel so broken up…

Bringing a wet hand into his own, he knew he would never forgive himself.

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It was near midnight when he slipped quietly into the apartment.

Kio sat upright on the couch, head dropped weightless with sleep. Unsurprisingly after all this time it worried him when Soubi didn't come home. The blonde had bandaged more wounds than he cared to count.

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With his love finally dry and in his pajamas, Soubi set him down on their bed. Lying down and draping the blanket over them both, sleep was not of his priorities this evening.

Dry lips kissed bandaged hands as night faded into a new day.

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Lilac eyes met bright afternoon sunlight.

With the first breath into the new day memories of yesterday's events rushed back like tidal waves. It was not possible to stop fresh droplets running across his face.

A large hand passing across his sight startled him at first then it wiped away the tear. His gaze rose to meet his boyfriend's.

Throughout the evening he watched Ritsuka in his unrest. Shaking and calling out in fits of nightmares, Soubi rubbed his back to soothe and comfort. He brought his partner's face to his bare chest, using the rhythm of his heartbeat as a lullaby.

"Sou- Soubi" shock had worn off, allowing him to understand what his boyfriend tried to explain to him last night... "Ritsuka that damn girl threw herself at me-" "So you couldn't resist?! I get it."

Where had that sentence spit of cruelty come from, he wondered. A defensive reflex caused by and to prevent more pain it seemed.

"Soubi I'm so-"

He was cut off, "No Ritsuka, please don't say that. There is no reason for you to apologize". Gritting his teeth he looked away, "It was my fault, for not preventing the circumstance".

Ritsuka peered at new bandages covering his hands.

How long had it been since he saw these?

Vividly the memory of pounding his hands against the rocks and dirt came into his mind. His hands shook from the force of the recollection.

"I swear to you I did not want that." He never wanted anyone's hands on his skin but Ritsuka's.

Behaving unlike his younger self, Ritsuka posed a question "Do you know why I did this?" he lifted his cloth-covered hands.

"I love you so much I was terrified seeing someone else being so… close to you. I couldn't understand why and… worried that what I believed wasn't true." A sob escaped his lips.

Thinking aloud, he realized. "I was worried you didn't really love me".

"Oh Ritsuka", Soubi pulled him into an embrace. *"I'm not a perfect person- there are many things I wish I didn't do… But now, Ritsuka I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new. Ritsuka I love you. You are the reason for all that I do. I never lie about my feelings for you. If there was any way to take away all the pain you have ever felt, even to feel it all myself, I would do so in a heartbeat."

Ritsuka knew.

He pressed their lips together in a long kiss that caught his boyfriend off guard.

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End of chapter 7

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