Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Okay, so… I have a lot of things to say before I get started with this chapter. I have no idea how often I will update this, but I have a vague idea of what's going to happen and…as of right now it's filled with angst and whatnot. General Twilight fare. May or may not end happily. Um, and I have a huge, mega, OMG apology to give everyone for not updating for so long. I just got out of the Twilight craze for the longest time, and…well, with Breaking Dawn coming out, I've decided to pick this baby back up. I hope that y'all will forgive me for not updating in over a year, but I was lacking in inspiration and feeling kind of overwhelmed. Now, for some reason, I kinda want to have the stability of a chapter fic in the works, as silly as that sounds. Anyway, I hope this chapter makes up for all of my spacey-ness, in a way. Please enjoy!

Playing With Fire
Chapter Seven: Adjustments

School, for the most part, sucked.

I mean, it always sucked. Ever since the Cullens left, I'd hated being around the place, hated all the things that the small campus and the tiny, cramped classrooms made me feel. I hated wandering the halls with no sense of purpose, making grades that I didn't care about and ignoring friends that I didn't want to care about. I had been in my own personal bubble of suck for the longest time, and had just started to get out of it.

Things were different for me, I found, as soon as I parked my truck. There was a strange lightness to the day. I didn't know if it had anything to do with my conversation with Paul earlier that morning or what, but somehow I felt…peaceful.

Maybe I had just accepted my fate.

Or was delusional.

Both seemed the likely answer.

I got out of my truck and walked to class with hardly any time to spare. I hated spare time, still. Though my thoughts weren't as preoccupied with Edward and what could have been, I still didn't like any extra time in which I had nothing to do. That would allow me to have to dwell on the shambles of my once normal life. Which I didn't want to do.

The classes seemed to go by extremely slowly. I wasn't sure why that the whole day was coated in molasses, but it was agitating me. I had to force myself to stop looking at the clock every five seconds. One by one, the classes went by, and I ended up in the cafeteria without even knowing how I got there. I walked through the line and grabbed my food, not even paying attention to it. I wasn't even sure I was going to eat; the eggs from this morning still felt heavy in my stomach. I slid along the cafeteria, walking around the place before coming to sit at my usual table.

I zoned off then, thinking about the various things that had occurred as of late. Edward's departure, the zombie phase, Jacob coming into my life and then being ripped from it when the word imprint entered his vocabulary, my recent bouts of crying and laughing and crying again. And Paul.

I thought of him, and wasn't sure why I was feeling so desolate without his presence beside me. It seemed silly that I wanted him to be here. Maybe I had an attachment problem of some sort. It certainly would explain a few things.

I was staring off into space, forcing my mind to be a blank slate - chillingly like I had done during those first few months post-Edward - when I heard it.

"Looks like Bella has gone all emo-mode again," the snide, nasally voice of Lauren stage-whispered to Jessica, who in turn snickered with a hand covering her mouth, reminding me of one of those snooty celebrities whose only claim to fame was a sex tape.

Somehow, I wanted to say something back. I wasn't sure why, but I felt the need - the absolute urge - to say something. For a split second before I spoke, I wondered why I was so…empowered lately. I didn't know why I felt so different, but after just a day the change was palpable. I might have matured just a little in that one day.

"My ears work perfectly fine, Lauren," I said, feeling my eyes narrow and my lips twitch into a smirk.

I didn't want to think of who I looked like in that moment.

I heard Angela's soft laugh beside me and turned to look at her. I hadn't even realized that she was there, but it was a welcome occurrence. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her. It was a strange sensation, but one that wasn't unwelcome.

Oh, the funny things that can happen in the span of a day.

"Really? Has little Izzy-Bella developed a backbone? Have you finally gotten over your beloved Edward's departure? Is that what you've been doing with that La Push boy? Using him to get past it?" She sing-songed, "Skank."

And there it was, the moment that my confidence shattered. Obviously people like Lauren got their kicks from ragging on others and tearing them down and they were good at doing so. People like Lauren were as at home with verbal warfare as soldiers were with physical force. People like me just sat back and waited for the assault to be over, which - when involved with the soldier scenario - usually meant that we were killed.

I didn't want to be that person this time.

"Shut up, Lauren." Okay, so it wasn't the most eloquent, verbally arresting thing, but it was progress. A lot of progress, to be blunt. Usually, when confrontation would arise, I'd just ignore it and hope it'd go away. I felt no need for butting heads with people over unnecessary things. But here I was, engaging in tedious and meaningless insults with a girl that I wouldn't give water to if she was drowning…okay, maybe that last part was a bit extreme. "Don't tear down others just because you are unhappy with yourself."

I admit last bit sounded like something from a public service announcement.

My cliché phrase seemed incredibly funny to Lauren, who laughed in a high, shrill manner and slapped the table as if to be particularly threatening. "Unhappy with myself? You are the one that should be unhappy. Two guys have rejected you, sweetheart. Wonder what the problem there is."

"How do you - "

"I have a friend down in La Push. She tells all. Saw your Jacob looking pretty cozy with some model-looking chick."

I tried my best to ignore the twinge of discomfort that gave me, "I'm not sure if I should be insulted at you knowing or shocked at the fact that you have a friend."

There you go, Bella.

I heard Mike laughing, and that seemed to dispel the tension. At least Mike was good for that. I heard Lauren call me a bitch and watched as she turned back to her conversation with Jessica, all the while rubbing Tyler's leg.

I didn't realize my hands were shaking until after the altercation had occurred. I wasn't even sure why. I knew I wasn't accustomed to confrontation, but this was ridiculous. I supposed people like me couldn't trade verbal barbs with people who actually meant what they were saying. Sure, I had said some mean things to Paul, but this seemed completely different. While Paul had been trying to get me out of a funk when he said all the cruel things, he was never malicious - except when he was calling Edward a bloodsucker.

There it goes, my heart thudding in my chest at the mention of his name. When did everything get so complicated? It was like my heart was being torn in halves now. One side for Edward and one side for Jacob. The sudden thrill of emotion was jarring after the shallow conversation I'd just had.

I resolved to not listen at lunch more often.

Suddenly, I didn't want to be there. Everything was bringing back so many memories that were crashing into me all at once. I picked up my tray of untouched food and rose from my seat, leaving them to their own problems. I had enough of my own that I didn't need to get involved with a long-term feud with Lauren, someone who I couldn't possibly care less about.

I was just pushing open the door that led out of the cafeteria when a small hand held it open for me. I turned around and saw that Angela was behind me, smiling kindly as she always did. Somehow, it touched me that she was there.

"Good job back there, Bella."

I snorted, "Sure, sure."

Jacob…

I needed to get out of here before everything smashed the breath out of me again. I needed to leave the poisonous air of the cafeteria where, no doubt, Lauren was still spewing her garbage.

"Are you alright?"

I gave her a smile - I was getting rather good at that lately, "I'm fine."

She chuckled, "You must have practiced your lying skills."

I shrugged and moved outside, tugging my jacket closer around me. Angela shivered as the cool air rustled around us and I felt myself doing the same. Somehow, it felt nice to have a bit of company. I never really brought myself out of my little vampiric world to notice that I had good, human friends around me - and some not-so human ones, but I figured that I would never have a fully normal life now.

I turned to Angela and said, "Are you busy this afternoon?"

She blinked a few times, looking taken aback, before saying, "No. Not at all. I…haven't really been much use since Ben and I broke up…"

The broken tone to her voice was heart aching. It reminded me too much of myself. I also felt a twinge of guilt at the fact that I hadn't even been paying attention to notice that she and Ben had broken up. I inhaled deeply before saying, "Wanna come over?"

"You're not too busy?" she asked, the picture of selflessness.

I gave her a light smile, "Nope."

There, that should make Paul think I'm taking this whole be happy thing seriously.

Wait…what?

Now that was simply weird. Wanting to convince Paul that I was taking things seriously. I wasn't sure what had gotten into me today. Was it something that I'd put in my eggs this morning? Did Paul slip some kind of drug in my drink? I had already stood up to Lauren - albeit rather timidly, still - and now I was inviting Angela over.

This was just damn odd. Completely out of character for little Bella Swan. Especially as of late.

I realized slightly that it would be of help to have someone over, to keep my mind off of things. Maybe to even talk about with the whole Jake thing. Not that I would. I wanted to keep my pathetic love life to myself. It was already confusing enough without having to explain to everyone about the fact that I was the only one losing in a triangle involving a werewolf and a vampire.

Angela and I chatted a little bit before the bell for next class rang. We set up a time - later today - to have a little study session of sorts. Somehow, I felt glad for that. If there was anyone at Forks High that I didn't mind spending time with, it was Angela. I gave her a little wave before walking to my next class.

Funny, how the few classes after lunch seemed to speed by. I wasn't sure why it happened, but I was grateful. Maybe it was a product of the leftover adrenaline from the confrontation with Lauren. I wasn't sure I cared. I was just glad that it was almost over and I could retreat to the safety of my home.

Safety? I felt a chill as I remembered that it wasn't safe at all.

I was, to put it simply, an idiot. Paul had sensed Victoria in our backyard and I was thinking that my house was safe?

I shook my head, twirling my pencil, waiting for my last class of the day to get out. It was torture. Even though I couldn't really do anything about it, I wanted to get home and make sure Charlie was safe. I knew that if Victoria was there, then I couldn't do anything unless I had backup. The feeling of helplessness was suffocating.

I jumped when the bell rang, and then without further thought, I made my way to the door. I was walking more briskly than usual, which was odd. I knew the reason for my sudden desperation. Strange how I wasn't worried at all this morning after I left my house.

Suddenly, the image of Paul standing in the doorway flashed through my mind.

Was it because of him?

I shook my head as I neared my truck. After a few seconds of bumbling around, I finally unlocked my truck and climbed in. I was in the process of cranking the truck when I felt it. A strange, eerie presence, seeping over me like icy water.

I felt that presence once before.

Was I paranoid? I doubted it. This was completely stupid. Why had I been preoccupied with showing up Lauren and inviting Angela over when I wasn't safe at all? And inviting Angela over was possibly the stupidest thing I'd done in a while. My house wasn't safe. I pounded the steering wheel with my shaking fist.

I took a few shaky breaths, one after the other, trying to calm myself to no avail. I put the truck in drive and tried to edge slowly out of the driveway. I ran a hand through my hair as I did so, keeping my truck going slow and steady even though my hands were trembling.

I wasn't sure what to do. There was no place I could go, really, that Victoria couldn't touch.

La Push.

The location came out of nowhere, as if someone had whispered it in my ear. But no, I couldn't go there. I had to go home and wait for my dad. What if I didn't come home and Victoria was there waiting for him? Despite the wolves' confidence in themselves, I was still worried about what would happen if somehow she slipped through the cracks.

So I pushed on to my house, instead of bypassing it to go to La Push. I saw the familiar landscape of my home and felt relief. I parked my truck and jumped out, making my way to the door.

There wasn't anything I could do now. If Victoria had followed me home, I knew that it was over. Maybe the wolves would be there, maybe something would save me this time. I shook my head. There were only so many times that that would be possible before I was in her clutches, I knew.

"Swan."

I jumped, the key to the house in one hand, at the voice. I wasn't expecting the husky tones at all, but at the same time - as soon as my mind processed who the speaker was - I felt relief. I turned and found the edge from my anxiety softening as I looked upon Paul, who was staring at me with blank eyes. His lips twitched upward in a mockery of a greeting.

"P-Paul…hi."

Paul stepped forward and took the key from my hand, which was shaking so badly now that it had been scraping helplessly against the lock. Swiftly, he unlocked the door and moved aside for me to enter. I did, wordlessly, and found myself inside the empty house, with no vampire in sight.

I heard the door shut behind me and turned around, seeing that Paul had let himself in. He was staring off, to a spot above my head. It wasn't hard to do, seeing as how much taller he was than me.

"Erm…how was your - "

"Shut up," Paul said softly, looking around. I winced, feeling the slight edge of his words despite their muted tone. I watched as he seemed to sniff the air. A few moments passed and he relaxed, "Okay."

I crossed my arms, "What?"

"I guess you didn't feel it." His tone was sharp.

"I…thought…there might be someone at school."

"Someone?"

"Victoria…"

Paul snorted and moved to lock the door. I almost laughed at how unnecessary that was. If Victoria wanted me, no locked door was going to keep her away.

"Yeah," he said. "She was around your school all day."

I tensed, feeling the tremors start to take hold of my whole body. My breaths became shakier and shakier, as if it took the maximum amount of strength within myself to even draw in oxygen.

"Hey now," he said, taking hold of my shoulder in his large, warm hand. The touch was unexpected, but not unwelcome. I still flinched at the contact, though, not used to being touched by anyone other than Jake or…or Edward. "I was around your school all day today. Both Embry and I."

"Why…why was she…"

"Trying to pick out your schedule, I guess," he said, shrugging. "I followed you home while Embry went back to Sam. I suppose she's trying to find an opening when you're alone."

A chill went through me at his words.

"What…about Charlie?"

"We've got Quil and Jared looking after him as well."

I sighed, feeling relief wash over me.

"We're going to have at least two people guard you at all times. One phased, one not." Paul ran a hand through his hair. "Any preferences?"

"You don't have to protect me," I said feebly.

"Ah, don't give me that martyr bullshit," Paul drawled. "Geez. We're protecting you, so no objections."

I glared at him.

"I think I'll be one of the assigned ones to you, actually," Paul said, his eyes full of wry intent. "It'll be fun torturing you."

"You sound like Victoria."

Paul ignored me, "Plan is, one of us stays in the house while you're here. The other patrols the woods."

"Please tell me it's Embry staying in here."

Paul grinned, "You know I couldn't let you off that easily."

"What if Charlie - "

"Gets suspicious? He won't."

"And Jake?"

"He's fine. I doubt you'd want him in your room anyway."

I paused, thinking if I should yell at him or not, and then sighed. I knew he was right. I wasn't sure if I wanted Jake in my room every day, which would remind me of the imprint and of his Leah. Ugh. The whole thing was a lose-lose situation. "Fine," I said. "Whatever."

"Awesome." Paul grinned.

"You don't seem too perturbed by this plan." I looked at Paul. Though his mouth was set in a grin, his eyes were grave looking.

"Eh, it'll be fun to annoy you. I can be quite the asshole sometimes."

"All the time."

Paul's grin became more pronounced, "See what I mean?"

"I wish I knew how you could be so carefree at a time like this."

The grin on his face lessened then, and his eyes were darker than I'd ever seen them. Somehow, it frightened me. But not in the way that Victoria did. It was in a different, more primal way. He leaned down and, as though it caused him great physical pain to admit this, said words that sent chills down my spine.

"Now, who ever said I was carefree, Swan?"

End.