Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Thanks so much to the reviewers that gave me their input for the last chapter! I really appreciate it, y'all have no idea. I hope that this chapter is just as well-received, and I would love to hear your opinions about it and everything. Thanks so much for reading!

Playing With Fire
Chapter Eleven: Shield

The ride to La Push seemed longer than usual.

I guess it was because of my previous revelations about Paul being…well, not as insignificant as I had originally imagined. I couldn't shake the sense of contentment that was seeping through my veins just because he was the one in the car next to me. It was almost like I had been blind for the longest time, mute to feelings - ones that Jacob had temporarily allowed me to feel again - and now everything was coming back full force.

Like I said before, it was a dangerous position to be in.

The closer you got to someone, I realized, the more they could hurt you. I had been foolish with Edward, assuming that he would always be there for me when in reality I was probably nothing more than a human plaything to him. Something that he would easily discard when he got bored. Which he had.

Something inside my head wanted to dispute that, but I felt no need to. Why deny something that was obviously true? Edward had gotten bored and no longer wanted…me. Just thinking the words was difficult, but I managed, not noticing that one of my hands had gripped my chest until Paul remarked, "Both hands on the wheel."

I was still a mess, if just thinking about that was enough to make me clench the hole in my chest.

I ignored his comment, turning on the drive that lead to Sam and Emily's little place. It was very quaint, and something that I was slightly looking forward to, if I was to be honest with myself. Emily was kind, as was Sam, and they were always people that I wouldn't be remiss to hang with.

I put the truck in park before hopping out of it. Paul was already out, stretching his arms above his head. I could see the muscles in his back as he did so, and it was enough to put a fresh flash of color in my cheeks.

He moved his head from side to side, fluidly, and I could barely hear the sharp cracks as his neck popped. He moved forward into the house, me trailing behind him.

He really was a giant. Not as tall as Jacob or Sam, but he still towered over me. He walked with an air of confidence that I instantly envied. The swaggering way he walked was graceful and purposeful, even as he moved to the front door. I figured that he would just open the door and go in, but when he stopped, the door held open for me to enter ahead of him, I paused in surprise.

Who would've known?

Paul looked at me with something akin to aggravation, as if he wished he could just curse at me and shove me in the door ahead of him. Even as I walked in the door, I thought I heard him mutter something like, "You try to do something nice for the little leech lover and she looks at you like you've sprouted an extra head."

I smiled despite myself.

"Bella!" Emily's hospitable voice called from the kitchen. It really had been too long since I'd seen her. Sam was at her side, looking at her like he always did - like she was the sun, and it was the first time seeing her. A bit of it made my heart ache, since I had known that once. Maybe twice, if I included Jacob, but I really didn't want to. The whole thing with Jacob seemed to be a fluke, something that only lasted long enough for him to find someone else. Someone more capable of loving him.

I twisted the bitterness out of my thoughts and forced a grin on my face, "Hi, Emily. Good to see you." Well, that was good at least. More words than I'd thought myself capable of.

She turned, in her hands a gigantic bowl full of potatoes that she was about to sit down at the table with. "Same here."

Paul put his large, hot hand on the small of my back and pushed me forward. For what reason, I had no idea. Sam looked at us with an interested expression, his eyes light and amused. I was about to put my hands up in protest at whatever he was thinking, when Paul said, "Yo, Sam. Up for some Playstation?"

Sam looked torn. He glanced from Paul to Emily before addressing the latter, "Are you sure you don't want any help?"

"I'm fine." Emily sat down and started peeling. "Bella, would you like to join me? You don't have to help, of course. I'd just like some girl company for once."

I felt as if I couldn't say no. If Paul and Sam were going to go have "boy time" or whatever the hell was going on with the Playstation, I figured that I could at least hang out with Emily. It would be nice, actually, to talk with someone else who was actually let in on the secret of the wolves.

I nodded and moved over to sit beside Emily, who smiled at me.

Vaguely, I heard the sounds of the two guys in the living room, bustling about, and then finally the sound of the Playstation being turned on. I rolled my eyes as I heard Paul explain, "Your ass is mine this time," and then laughed when I heard Sam reply with a mild, "Ew."

Emily was smiling to herself as she peeled potato after potato, going at a pace that was the product of practiced movements. I felt envious. Though I wasn't a bad cook, I wished I could be that efficient with things like this without nearly lopping off my finger.

"I see you and Paul are getting along."

The statement caught me off guard, and I looked up from staring at the bowl, where the potato peels were falling at a mind-boggling pace. "Er…define, getting along."

Emily looked up, but she kept peeling. By now, I'd have had to go get a bandage - or stitches - if I was in her shoes.

"He seems to have taken to you," Emily said, smiling.

"I'm not sure sarcastic comments and attacks on my ex-boyfriend are signs of friendship." I cringed as soon as I said ex, and Emily noticed, but didn't comment.

"Paul is difficult, but he's a good guy."

"Uh…yeah," I found myself stumbling over my words, no where nearly as graceful as Emily. "I guess so."

Emily looked at me, "Hm."

I had yet to decipher what exactly that meant, when Jake came bursting through the door, his face wild with a mixture of excitement and shock. Leah came in after, looking exasperated, her long hair tied into a low ponytail. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at her imprint before looking at me, "Hey, Bella."

I gave a sheepish smile. The feeling of inadequacy I got when looking at Leah was still present, even though we were good friends now. "Hey," I said before tempting a glance at Jacob. "What's up with him?"

Leah shrugged her thin shoulders, "Wouldn't tell me."

A moment later, Quil and Embry entered the room, their smiles equally as bright as Jake's. For a moment, I considered that they were on some kind of weird werewolf drug thing, but it immediately passed when I saw that Sam and Paul had moved in the kitchen as well. The small room had a sudden, crowded feel.

"What is all this?" Sam asked, his deep voice holding a certain timbre to it that just oozed leader.

Jacob grinned but not before turning to Quil and Embry with a look that told them to keep quiet. "I'll let Jared tell you."

I cocked my head to the side. I had never really spent time with Jared, but this seemed to be something huge. A good thing, by the look in each of their eyes. Paul and Sam had the same clueless look that no doubt was on my own face, as well as Leah and Emily's. I saw Paul's eyes briefly move to catch mine. The second I looked, they wheeled away and were focused on Jacob, and then the door behind him.

The door opened to reveal Jared, tall and lanky and lean-muscled, with a girl on his arm. He wasn't paying any attention to the gathering in front of him, but to the girl. She was pretty, and just a bit shorter than myself.

The telltale sign was the fact that he was looking at her like she was the sun, moon, and stars, all rolled up into one.

Jared had imprinted.

I felt sick, somehow. There was no reason to feel that way. I hardly knew Jared, so there was no reason for me to feel ill, but the way my stomach was churning. I hadn't realized I had stood up until I felt myself sway and have to grasp the edge of the table to keep from falling.

I looked up to see that Paul's eyes were on me, looking curious and - concerned? Why would he be concerned? He had no reason to be.

"Congratulations, brother," Sam stepped forward and patted Jared on the shoulder. The girl at his side seemed timid, almost shrinking away from the pack leader.

Sam's words, however, caught me off guard. Congratulations? Was that even a proper response? I noticed how no one even questioned what had happened. Jared came in looking all googly-eyed with a random girl that no one seemed to know and…that was all she wrote.

Jared grinned toothily at Sam, and I felt an urge to cry. That familiar smile was so like the one that Jacob had used to give me…until…

Imprint. The word crashed around violently in my thoughts, filled with more bitterness than I'd thought I was capable of at the time. I decided that this wasn't the time or place for one of my moods. None of this was about me, it was about Jared and his imprint. I decided to smile and offer my congratulations with the other guests in Emily's household.

The girl's name was Kim, and apparently, she confessed, had been crushing on Jared for the longest time. She blushed easily, and I was reminded of myself in her uncertain, stammering words. The whole thing had happened early this morning, with Jared seeing Kim at the gas station, filling up her car. It was a whirlwind type of thing, him asking her out and then taking her to the Elders, where it was explained just what kind of bond they had. Kim had, obviously, accepted. Why wouldn't she? The man of her dreams had finally noticed her.

I knew the feeling.

Leah and Emily greeted her. I felt a certain kind of jealously, almost like these imprints had a kind of bond as well. As sisters. One that I would never, personally, have.

Apparently, the delay in all of them knowing was that Jared had delayed phasing all day, up until a few minutes ago, since Kim was curious. Jacob, Quil, and Embry were all phased as well, so naturally they figured out what had happened through Jared's thoughts.

I was absorbed in the whole thing, probably due to some kind of lingering loathing I must have for myself.

It wasn't until someone asked, "Where's Paul?" that I realized he was no longer in the room.

Where could he have gone? Was there something wrong? I almost felt naked, exposed without him. What an odd feeling to have, that.

"He walked outside," Sam said, all-knowing. Everyone then continued to talk about Kim and how she was welcome here any time.

I walked to the door, saying I needed fresh air, when in reality I was looking for the very person that had just up and left without a trace. It seemed like everyone else could see through my transparent actions, but didn't say anything to stop me. I stumbled down the front steps, wrapping my arms around myself in the sudden cold.

I didn't have to look far.

To the left of the house and out a ways, stood Paul. Even from a distance, I could see that he was shimmering, shifting ever so slightly in place. His fists were clenched at his sides and the violent shudders made his form go in and out of focus, between wolf and man. I knew better than to approach him right away. After a few minutes, I saw him shake his head side to side, as if chastising himself, and then look my way. Immediately, he looked away, back to the direction he was facing before.

I decided to approach, then. I walked slowly, tripping on random sticks and things as I made my way over to him. I knew that this was risky, dangerous even. If Sam could slip up and do something to hurt the one he loved more than anything, then Paul go do so as well. I was sure he probably wouldn't have minded as much, all things considered.

"Paul," I ventured when I was close enough, though I knew he could have heard me from where I stood on Emily's porch. "Hey…"

"What do you want?"

"I was…checking up on you. I was kind of…" I bit my lip, uncertain as to whether I should say the word I wanted. In the end, I continued, "I was worried."

"Don't waste your worrying on me."

I saw that he wasn't going to share anything, wasn't going to give me any leeway into what must have been bothering him, so rather than start a fight, I turned and started away.

Before I could even get a step away from him, I heard him say, "It's like an epidemic."

I stopped and turned back around. I saw that he was still facing away from me, but his posture had relaxed. He was speaking freely now, not through clenched teeth, and for that I was shocked. I waited for him to continue.

"It's supposed to be a rare thing, you know," he said in a strangely calm voice. "It's not supposed to happen to every wolf."

He turned at me, and there was true anguish on his features. "Sam, then Jake, and now Jared. Who's next, huh? This whole thing is so fucking stupid. Unfair. Taking the willpower away from people, forcing them to love someone they would have never considered had they not been a wolf."

I looked at Paul, feeling the rage and despair flowing off his body. His hands started to tremble slightly, yet again. I stepped forward, unafraid of the phase. There was nothing that was going to separate me from him now. Not that I knew he was in just as much turmoil - maybe more - than I was.

"I'll grin and bear it," he ground out through gritted teeth. "I'll be happy for them. I just don't want it to happen to me."

His hands were outright shaking now, vibrating with the restrain the was taking from phasing. I stepped forward and, without thinking, put my hands over his. He inhaled a surprised gasp and looked at me, his eyes narrowing, teeth clenched together. The trembling in his hands stopped, as if he were trying his very best at controlling himself now that I was so close.

The heat of his hands seemed to seep into mine and spread throughout my body. It was…nice, I was begrudging to admit.

"It'll be fine, Paul," I told him, trying to pretend like I believed what I was saying. "You might not imprint. Hell, who knows? You might end up being one of those players with a new woman each night, those old dogs, as they're called. But in your case, it'd be literal."

I wasn't sure where my bravado was coming from - or the optimism of my words, for that matter. They seemed like foreign, alien things as they spewed from my mouth.

He gave me a smile, though. Maybe that was what I was looking for.

I hadn't realized I was still gripping his hands with all the force I could until he squeezed my fingers gently, chuckling in a sardonic manner.

"You say that, but when you put two-and-two together back in the kitchen, you almost fell over."

I blushed.

Paul laughed then, his normal, carefree laugh, one that was tinged with all the emotions of the moment. He then took his hands from mine and lightly brushed a finger over my cheekbone, light enough that I could have imagined it. I still wasn't sure. The moment lasted for a second, maybe less, and his hand was down by his side once more, free of the vibrations that preventing the phase caused.

"I…erm…didn't think you'd…"

"Noticed? Hard not to. You're easily the clumsiest in any room."

"Hey! Not everyone is like you - "

"Obviously."

I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. The action was freeing, and it was something that I hadn't felt in a long time.

Paul chuckled along with me, but I could still see the trace of darkness edging his eyes. I sighed. I might have helped now, but it didn't mean the mood wouldn't come back later. It reminded me too much of my zombie days. Pretend like it didn't hurt now, but later it would hit me with more force than it would have before.

He suddenly looked alert, his eyes moving to the little house Emily and Sam shared. Even to my own normal, human nose, I could smell the delicious scent of stew pouring out of the windows.

Paul's stomach growled audibly; I laughed.

"Let's go eat, then." He grasped my wrist and started to tug me in the direction of the house.

The feel of his hand, wrapped so gently around my wrist that it might not even be there at all, was too nice, but I had to protest at least once.

"I know my way to the house, Paul."

He didn't reply.

And, selfishly, I didn't argue.

End Chapter Eleven.