Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Thanks so much for your kind reviews for the last chapter! I'm so glad that this fic is still getting received well. It means so much to me. I have a bit of a summer break now, so I'm hoping to get a few updates in. If not, I'll update when I can. No worries! I hope that y'all enjoy this latest chapter! Thanks so much for the support!

Playing With Fire
Chapter Twenty One: Dissolution

Before I knew it, I heard the door creaking and splintering and making noises that doors are most definitely not supposed to make.

I was still trying to process what the visiting vampire had said when my door was practically ripped from its hinges, revealing the hulking form of Paul, breathing deeply, his chest heaving. His fists were trembling like leaves in a hurricane. I knew it was taking all he had to not phase right then and there.

"P-Paul - "

"What the fuck are you doing, leech? What the fuck?" A wicked shudder rolled down his spine. He grit his teeth. "How can you offer her something like this? It's not fixing anything! Who knows, you could be suggesting this just so you can have a sneaky way to drain her dry - "

He broke off, so caught up in the flurry of emotion that he couldn't continue with his train of thought. The silence that followed was so brutal it was almost a physical blow.

"You know she wants this. To be one of you. Ever since he came to town. She could go find that leech of hers - "

Edward…

The name came, unbidden, through my thoughts. Almost like a ghost, it fluttered around the edges of my subconscious.

The fact that Paul thought I would go look for Edward if I were to agree to what Riley was proposing was almost ludicrous. It seemed so farfetched that I almost laughed aloud. Of course it was tempting. Then I could actually help rather than hinder the proceedings. But I had Charlie. And school. What would I do then? If I accepted now, how would I continue life like the Cullens had?

But…no.

I couldn't.

As shocking as Paul's reaction was, I couldn't do this to them. I couldn't blaspheme against the wolves like this.

And…I didn't want it.

I wanted to be strong and powerful, able to defend myself. And I could. Just not against the creatures that inhabited my town. Not against the supernatural. But I wasn't completely helpless, though I felt it at the time. Strength wasn't always about the physical things, though that was what people made it seem more often than not.

"You're a fucking idiot, leech. A fucking idiot." Paul pointed at him. It would have been comical had it not been so threatening. I had never seen Paul this angry. I wondered what would have caused him to be so irate. I knew that the wolves had this vendetta with the vampires, but I didn't know why exactly Paul didn't want me to become one. Maybe he saw this as all his hard work protecting me was going down the drain if I just gave the word.

But…this wasn't all about me, after all.

This was about the people I cared about - about Charlie and Angela and all my friends at school. This was about the wolves, especially. Jake and Sam and Embry and…

And Paul.

If this was truly the best way for me to protect them, shouldn't I do it? Shouldn't I make the change just because it is the most logical option. Let Riley turn me and then Victoria would have to back off, right? It would be no fun for her when I was just as - and maybe more - indestructible and physically strong as she was. We could end up taking her down together, if we needed to.

Sacrifice…martyr… Those words and words like them drifted through my head like ghosts, prodding and poking at the recesses of my mind.

Logically, it was the best decision.

Emotionally, however, I didn't know if I was ready for it.

The thoughts that raced through my mind weren't welcome ones. They all pointed to the fact that I should let Riley turn me. It would be best for everyone I cared about. Charlie would mourn, but he would recover. Everyone recovers, right?

That last fact seemed more and more apparent to me.

I started wringing my hands. I pursed my lips.

"You're…" Paul's voice came out of no where. "You're actually considering it?"

The snarl startled me more than I was used to. I had started to feel so comfortable around Paul that hearing this amount of intensity in his voice was downright strange. I looked at him, searching for something to say that would make his rage subside. I knew that was a futile action the moment I looked into his eyes.

"Paul…" I said, and my voice sounded more pleading than I was used to hearing.

"Don't Paul me, Swan." He stepped forward. Surprisingly, he was not going for Riley's throat, but he was still shaking as if something had disturbed him greatly.

Guilt settled over me like a blanket.

"It…it would be foolish of me to dismiss it so quickly."

I felt Riley's eyes on me. There was something strange in them, a look that was so human that I was shocked. Though I never thought of vampires as anything monstrous, it was still so odd to see one of the non-Cullens looking at me like that. As if he cared.

"It would be foolish of you to go through with it, too." Paul stepped to the side, grasping his large and shaking hand onto one of the shelves of the many bookcases in my room. His voice was venomous, "This is idiotic and you know it."

"What would be idiotic would be me not weighing all the options!" I was surprised at the shrillness of my voice. I hadn't even meant to yell at him like that, but I figured why not? He was certainly doing a good job of it himself, so why not give him a taste of his own medicine?

"Even if the other option means dying?" he asked. Loaded question. Loaded answers. I didn't like it.

"Yes."

My word hung in the charged air, almost like a spark in a room of gunpowder.

A cracking sound met my ears.

My eyes focused on Paul, whose hand had broken off a large chunk out of the bookshelf. The splintered wood punctured his skin; blood trickled down his palm and onto his forearm. I could see him clutching it as if hanging on to dear life.

"Paul!" I started, but then looked to Riley. "Oh…oh, no…"

Riley caught onto what I was saying and smiled. "No, Bella. His scent is repulsive to our species. What makes you think his blood appeals to us as well?"

I heard his explanation in some other time and launched myself forward. I hurried over to Paul's side and took his hand in both of mine, prying the piece of wood out of his hands. He didn't protest. My former queasiness about blood was gone, placed somewhere far back in my mind. There was nothing else in my thoughts except the fact that Paul was hurt and he needed help -

And just as I thought that, the wound finished sealing up right in front of my eyes.

I felt silly, but I kept his hand clenched between the both of mine. The contrast between my hands and his was almost comical. I had some of his blood on my fingers, and he didn't seem to notice. If anything, he grasped my hand tighter.

The moment seemed oddly intimate, something that I wanted to run from as soon as I realized it, but I just couldn't seem to. I also couldn't bring myself to look up from our hands, twined together like some bloodied sign of promise.

"Stop it," I told him. "You're doing no one good by hurting yourself."

I chanced a glance upward at him and found that he was staring at me intently.

"Neither are you."

I jerked my hands from his. I hated that he was partly right, but he partly didn't know what he was talking about. What if I had a chance to stop everything before it really began? What if I could stop other people from getting hurt? If I had that power, even though it meant sacrificing my humanity, wouldn't it be selfish not to use it?

I moved away from him. Being so close to him was making it hard to make a decision, though I wasn't sure if there was a timeline that Riley was working with. I hoped there wasn't. This couldn't be a split second decision. I had to at least think…

But, really, how much was there to think about when it involved possibly saving the lives of all I held dear?

I found myself walking towards Riley. Though my mind was set, I said, "Can you let me think about it?"

A smile curved his lips. "Of course. I didn't expect you to make a such a serious decision in just one day."

However, he was staring at me as if I was something particularly interesting. It was a rather odd feeling, to be scrutinized by a vampire after so long without having direct contact with one. His eyes didn't waver, his breath didn't falter, as his odd, artificially violet eyes were boring into my own.

Paul was growling; the sound reminded me of a chainsaw or something equally as brutal. It was enough to give me chills, having the same effect on me as if someone was running their nails down a chalkboard.

He turned around, walking out the door that had been swung open. I would be surprised if Angela had no questions about this later. I felt guilty that he was so high-strung about this. I would be too, I supposed, if my charge was just going to throw their life away after I'd spent a good part of my time trying to protect her. After all of my worries about being a burden, I was an ironic burden, at that.

Riley then leaned forward and brushed a lock of hair from my ear. He whispered in my ear, so low that I had to strain to hear it.

"I understand placating the wolf, but he will forgive you."

I scoffed. "You don't know him well."

"I know enough."

The three words he said made me uncomfortable. What exactly was he implying? I wasn't sure. But the inkling I had did not make me feel happier about it. In fact, it made me feel worse.

"How will I get in contact with you when I've made my decision?"

"I'll be around." He produced a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. "If not, here. My cell number."

I took it, studying the number skeptically. "Alright, then." I wasn't even going to ask about how he paid his cell bill. Probably under a false name or something. "I'll…ah…give you a call, then."

"Text." Riley looked at me as if this was something more important than it was. "Victoria tends to be around a lot. I plan on renouncing my allegiance to her as soon as I can. I don't want her hearing that I've…switched sides, however. It could anger her, and make her more eager to take you out."

I tensed. "Texting it is, then."

"Reasonable girl," he crooned.

"I try." I was certainly being reasonable about my mortality.

If only Paul would understand that.

Riley nodded at me cordially and then headed out the door as if he owned the place. He had that kind of air about him, I noticed. The air that just said he was someone important, which was a strange thing. There was no arrogance about it, and that left me nonplussed. "Good day, Bella."

"Bye, Riley…"

"I'll escort you out," Embry said from the bottom of the stairs. I was surprised I could hear it from that far away. I wondered idly what other things I would be able to hear if the change took place…

It was at that point I realized I felt numb.

Maybe everything was sinking in, but I found that my hands were shaking.

The whole thing was so sudden, so soon. I didn't realize just how much I was affected by it - physically - until now.

I could be immortal. But I didn't want it for the selfish desire to be with the one I loved for eternity. I was now in desperate need of this, in an attempt to save everyone I loved. How things have changed…

The door shutting downstairs stirred me from my stupor. I still felt as if I had been bathed in ice water, but that was nothing compared to the oddly fast beating of my heart. The nerve endings and the organ in my chest were contradicting each other. My physical movements were so slow, I stood no chance against any kind of threat, but my heart was pumping away in my chest.

It was then that I realized how anxious I was - nervous anxiety, of course.

In a matter of time, I could be cold as ice, hard as marble, indestructible as Superman…

I realized how scattered and crazy my thoughts were sounding. I felt dizzy, almost like I was spinning out of control. There must be only so much a person could take before they…

"Bella."

The gruff voice snapped me out of my funk. Somehow, it soothed away the edges of what I felt was impending madness, and I allowed myself to smile lightly.

"Paul…" I trailed off, now noticing that he wasn't even in the doorframe. He had called me from outside, in the hallway. Had I disgusted him so much that he couldn't even look at me? The very thought…the very thought…

Well, it wasn't pleasant; I was surprised I could admit that much to myself.

I knew he heard me. Werewolf hearing never ceased to amaze me, and I knew that he was just as proficient in hearing from distances as the vampires were. I knew he heard me, and yet he didn't so much as peek into my room to get a glimpse at the person he was supposed to be talking to.

I wrinkled my nose. The scent of Riley was left in the room, as sweet and intoxicating as any other vampire. I forced the images of Edward away as quickly as they came, surprised that I didn't linger on them like I had once done. One of the memories did stick, that of after he left me…how the room had smelled of the sickly sweet scent of vampire for weeks after. It was only a faint scent, one that lingered around my pillowcases and sheets, but it might as well have been a pungent perfume, one that saturated the air as well as my brain.

And only then did I notice the scent of earth, earth and something pleasantly spicy, and the fact that it lingered around my room - and then linked it with Paul.

It was faint, akin to the scent of vampire, but I picked up on it nonetheless. It was odd that I was noticing this now, but somehow I couldn't help it.

I stepped forward, walking toward the door. I peeked my head out and, not seeing Paul right away, started to crane my head…

I found him, leaning against the wall to the left of the door, his arms crossed, his expression steely.

"You know, when you call someone, and they call back, the usual protocol dictates that you at least - "

He raised a hand. "Dictating protocol? Who are you, the feds?"

"I was just saying - "

"Will you take a walk with me?"

I paused, looking at him as if he had grown another head, and as if that head had started spouting Latin at me. "Uh…"

"Come for a walk with me." One of Edward's final requests of me came barreling through my thoughts.

I shuddered.

Paul turned his head, looking at me for the first time. "Not through the woods," he said. I was momentarily stunned by his perceptiveness. But, then again, I shouldn't have been. "I was thinking about the beach."

"La Push beach?" My voice was strangely hopeful, though his face stayed as serious as I'd ever seen it.

"That's the one." His voice was monotone, unemotional. I felt the creep of the familiarity of that last day with Edward fall over me, and suddenly panic edged through my brain.

"Yeah," I said, keeping my voice casual and bright, "sounds like a field trip."

He gave me a smile - bitter and jaded and angry, but still Paul - and pushed himself off of the wall before facing me completely.

"Exactly."

End Chapter Twenty One.