Ezra kept Aria close the entire night. He had gotten only a few hours of sleep and had gotten up once to change Lila. He wanted to protect Aria and he didn't know how to if he didn't know what was wrong. Anytime he felt her stir during the middle of the night he pulled her closer and once he couldn't pull her any closer was when he finally got some sleep.
"Good morning." Aria said with a smile on her face turning over to see a very tired Ezra.
"Morning." Ezra mumbled trying to wake up completely.
"Are you okay?" Aria asked looking over at Ezra who had clearly not gotten any sleep the night before.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine I just didn't sleep well." Ezra said looking down at Aria who looked not like herself.
"I'm sorry." Aria said looking down.
"Aria, it wasn't your fault. There is no place I would rather be than with you right beside me." Ezra said and stroked her cheek.
"I love you Ezra, really I do." Aria said and leaned in to kiss Ezra but was interrupted by the shrill cries of Lila.
"She has amazing timing doesn't she?" Ezra chuckled and got up to get Lila but not before kissing Aria. "Somebody needs her mommy." Ezra said walking back in the room handing Lila over to Aria.
"Hey baby." Aria said as Ezra placed Lila in her arms and she began to nurse her. When Lila was done she handed Lila over to Ezra who burped and changed her. Ezra then came over with Lila and joined Aria on the bed.
"How are you feeling?" Ezra asked tracing his fingers up and down her arm.
"I'm good; I have the two of you so there is nothing else that I need." Aria said leaning into Ezra. "Ezra I need to ask you something though, it's been bugging me since the first day of school."
"What?" Ezra asked looking down at her.
"Why was your last name Fitzgerald on my class schedule? I thought you were never going to change it?" Aria asked looking up at Ezra.
"I didn't want my mom to find me and if I changed my name to that then she would never think I would because I was so mad at her. I never officially did it though just told the school that was my name that I was in the midst of changing it. I'm going to let them know though that I am now and will forever be a Fitz." Ezra told Aria who kissed him in response.
"I like you as a Fitz so much more than a Fitzgerald." Aria chuckled. "Thanks for telling me."
"Aria I don't want to keep anymore secrets." Ezra said as he handed Lila to Aria for her to get her dressed.
"Ezra." Aria said as Ezra got up to get dressed himself.
"I uh, I need to tell you something." Aria said quietly. "I was. . ." Aria began but was cut off by Myra who knocked on the door.
"Ezra can you help me get something out of the closet?" Myra asked as she stuck her head in the door.
"Yeah." Ezra said and walked towards the door. "We can talk in a minute." Ezra said before leaving.
Aria ate breakfast in silence which worried Ezra. He hadn't seen her like this since before the accident. He was worried that something was seriously wrong with the pills and now her silence. Myra could sense the tension and offered to take Lila out for a little while and leave the two of them alone.
Aria made her way to the couch where she sat down and stared at the wall. Ezra came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Honey, what's wrong?"
"Ezra." Aria began and took a deep breath before continuing. "There is something that I really need to tell you."
"What's wrong?" Ezra asked concerned and pulled Aria closer only to have her pull away.
"Ezra I was pregnant with twins." Aria began.
Aria was lying on the exam table at her first check-up. She hadn't told anyone yet about the pregnancy and was doing pretty well at hiding it. The doctor came in and began to do the ultrasound and stopped and looked over at Aria.
"Miss Montgomery." The doctor said.
"What is it? Is everything okay with my baby?" Aria asked starting to panic.
"Relax sweetie, everything is fine with your babies." The doctor said looking over at Aria waiting for a reply.
"Babies?" Aria asked sitting up a little.
"Yes, dear you are having twins." The doctor said to Aria who let a few happy tears fall from her face. She was having twins. She and Ezra were having twins.
"No one knew but my parents and Myra. Actually they are the only ones that know to this day." Aria said with tears in her eyes as she shifted to look away from Ezra.
"So when you came to talk to me and my mom tried to pay you off you were pregnant with twins?" Ezra asked.
"Yeah, I was so excited that's why I wanted to tell you because I was scared as well and I knew you would help me." Aria said as the tears finally fell.
"What happened?" Ezra asked grabbing Aria's hand.
"Well when I came to California I was fine for the first week. Then one day I started to feel cramping but I put it off as normal pregnancy stuff so I just shrugged it off. I went to bed so see if it helped any. Then a few hours later I woke up to extreme pain in my stomach and there was blood all over the bed. It was the scariest thing that I had ever gone through." Aria said as she started to cry harder.
"Miss Montgomery I am sorry to say but it appears as though you have lost one of the twins." The doctor said as she looked at the ultrasound once Aria had been rushed to the hospital.
"What, what about the other one?" Aria stuttered out holding back tears.
"It appears to be okay. I want you to be on bed rest for the next three weeks and if you feel any cramping or having any spotting whatsoever come in immediately. I want to see you back here in three weeks to see how your baby is doing." The doctor instructed a crying Aria.
"I never did have any more problems after that but I felt terrible. I felt like I had lost the only part of you I had left. If it weren't for the fact that I still had Lila I probably would have done some pretty bad stuff." Aria said and her cries broke into sobs.
"Come here." Ezra said and he pulled Aria into his chest as she let out all of her tears that she had been holding in for so many months. Ezra rubbed his hands up and down her back and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't help but shed some tears himself.
"I'm so sorry Ezra, I'm sure you have to be angry with me right now and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier." Aria said from Ezra's chest still sobbing.
"Aria I am not angry with you at all. I wish you would have told me but I could never be mad with you for anything that happened. I love you so much." Ezra said pulling her out so he could see her face.
"Ezra, it was the worst time of my life and I still feel so guilty about it. I just wanted to be a good mom and I killed one of my kids before they were even able to be someone." Aria said letting new tears fall down her face.
"Aria it wasn't your fault, no matter what you say it was never your fault. Please, please stop blaming yourself." Ezra said as he, himself began to shed new tears.
"I'm sorry." Aria said again lunging herself at Ezra.
"Aria there is nothing to be sorry for. I also know about the pills." Ezra said biting his lips not knowing how Aria would react to this.
"How, when?" Aria asked looking down at her lap.
"Yesterday when I went to get your pain medicine I came across it. Aria I am here for you, I know I didn't know what was going on but I want you to know that I am always here for you." Ezra said as he lifted her chin to look up at him.
"I can't. Do. This. Anymore." Aria said between breaths as her breathing became fast and her hands began to shake.
"Aria, what's wrong?" Ezra said panicked as he tried to calm her shaking hands.
"My chest." Aria said pulling a hand to her chest. "Can't breathe." She said trying to take deep breaths.
"Aria, do you remember that time that your mom thought I was dating Spencer?" Ezra asked as he realized Aria was having a panic attack.
"Yeah." Aria said still trying to catch her breath. "Why?"
"How about all the movies we watched in my apartment." Ezra said making her look at him.
"So?" Aria asked as he breathing was becoming more even.
"How about when we told your parents about us and your brother punched me?" Ezra said with a laugh.
"Yeah, and my parents threatened you." Aria said between breathes. Her hands had stopped shaking and her chest pain was now down to a slight ache.
"Do you feel any better now?" Ezra asked as Aria's breathing was almost back to normal.
"It felt like I was going to die." Aria told Ezra as she moved her hand from her chest and took some more deep breaths.
"You were having a panic attack, when you forgot why you were upset it helped you to calm down." Ezra explained and pulled Aria close to him again.
"How do you know so much about this?" Aria asked him.
"Wes used to get really home sick when we were little and whenever my parents would take us to my grandparents he would have panic attacks. The doctor said the best thing to do was to make him think of something he loved and to get his mind off of not being at home." Ezra said leaning back on the couch and bringing Aria with him.
"Thank you so much. That has never happened before and I don't know what I would have done if I was by myself." Aria said still breathing a little fast.
"Hey, it's okay. You just told me something pretty big. I'm just glad that you're okay." Ezra said as he rubbed his hand up and down Aria's arm.
"I'm on the depression pills because I went through this stage during the end of my pregnancy where I didn't want to do anything. Of course the doctors didn't want to give me anything while I was pregnant but they made sure to put me on something right after I had Lila. It does help me to feel not so alone. The biggest thing for me is to make sure that Lila is taken care of and I know that I can do that with this medicine." Aria said leaning her head into Ezra's chest.
"I just want you to know that you aren't alone anymore. I will be here for you and for Lila. If you feel down or depressed or anything I want you to tell me." Ezra said.
"Sometimes I hate myself so much. I hate being on depression medicine. I don't want Lila to have one of those crazy mom's that has to be on medicine to take care of their own kids." Aria said from her place on Ezra's chest.
"Aria, you are not crazy and there is no need to hate yourself. The stuff you went through by yourself is more than any person should have to go through ever in their life and you did it all on your own." Ezra said rubbing his hand up and down Aria's arm. "I want you to know that you are never alone and you never will be again."
"I know, thanks Ezra for not thinking I'm crazy or a bad mother." Aria said smiling up at Ezra.
"I think you are an amazing mother, Aria." Ezra said kissing the top of her head.
"I think you are an amazing dad by the way."
A/N: Okay guys here's chapter 9. I bet you didn't see that coming. Anyway the story is just beginning and there is plenty more to come. Please, please review and let me know what you think it really drives me to write. Can't wait to hear from you. Also you know what would be amazing is if I got up to 100 reviews on this chapter ;)
xoxoxox