Come back everyone, the story isn't over yet!

Chapter 18, Coming Home

"Icepaw!" Snowpaw leapt up off the grass. Her eyes glittered like the melted dew beneath her, flashing bright rays of sun back at Icepaw.

"What, you thought I wouldn't come?" Icepaw tried to sound insulted; but in her heart she knew how close the decision had been.

She blinked her light blue eyes. "I didn't know what to think."

There was silence. Icepaw had the inexplicable feeling that something was wrong, and she couldn't stop it. It made her want to cry out in pain. "Come on," she said hoarsely. "Let's go..."

"Home," Snowpaw said anxiously. "It's home."

She nodded, but her blue eyes stayed on the melted dew flashing the bright sun everywhere. It was whole once; in the cold freedom of ice, and it has been melted.

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Two days had passed, and the green woods of ThunderClan were barren. The oaks stood firmly despite the loss of their leaves in the cold wind. The beeches stood gently mourning the leaves that fluttered down when a gale swept them down. The rowan berries gleamed, along with the holly and rosehips.

It was in this forest filled with clean snow, flourishing evergreens, and red winter berries, that Icepaw lightly stepped through. Since the two days that had passed, it had snowed. The snow was only an inch thick, but it covered everything. A few leaves floated off the frozen snow as a gust of wind blew through the trees. "Where are you, my home?" she whispered to the cold breeze. She wanted ShadowClan's thick pine woods, it's comforting dappled light; she wanted its freedom.

A low growl rose in her throat, and the envy and jealousy of loss came back to her in a rush. She envied Moonpaw and Silverpaw who could simply act any way they wanted. Somehow, everyone expected her to be better. Everyone expected her to be the good kit who stayed with her family against her will. Why? Moonpaw and Silverpaw were the meanest cats she had ever met, but they were happy and life was good for them. Am I just too self involved? What if I just want to be the sort of cat that wouldn't want to live in ThunderClan? She shook her head slowly. She had been born into a difficult and unusual situation, she had not made her life one.

Suddenly, the icy wind picked up and Icepaw let out a tiny shriek as it almost lifted her off her feet. As her white front paws thumped to the snowcovered grass again, she let out a meow of satisfaction. Before, the wind had been terrifying as it threatened to lift her up and sweep her away in it's freezing arms; now it was exhilarating.

Like the noise of a pine needle falling to the ground, it hit her. It was tiny, almost undistinguishable from the rest of the time, but it had come swiftly and without warning.

ShadowClan was where she felt at home, where she felt free. Is that really true? she asked herself. What if she had simply been so young when she had left ThunderClan that she didn't know how to fit in there. What if she could be truly happy in ThunderClan?

A splinter of resistance shot through here. It was painful, like a claw mark. She wanted ShadowClan, the dark cats living in the way they wanted to without fear of being stopped or bent to others' will. She wanted it. She loved the way ShadowClan acted; especially because they weren't all like Moonpaw and Silverpaw.

Goodbye, my friend. The words she had spoken to Snakepaw now echoed through her mind. She wanted to wail. What if she had destroyed everything?

Icepaw of ThunderClan, Icepaw of ShadowClan, Icepaw of Nothing; she realized what she had known all along.

She was going home; and that home always had been ShadowClan.

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She put her paw across the ShadowClan border, the wild freedom of the moonlight whispering and weaving into her eyes. They glowed softly with the excitement of one who is entranced; the excitement of one who is becoming free. As her white paw settled into the red pine needles on the other side of the border, she felt a surge of satisfaction. She was where she was meant to be. In one moment, she was elated. She knew that no matter what Moonpaw and Silverpaw, even Snakepaw, Petalstar, Fishshadow, Nightrose, Snowpaw, Lavenderstar; no matter what anyone thought or wanted, she was going home.

For one moment, she was carefree and yet powerful at the same time. Only for a moment. Just one moment.

Then the long road in front of her settled in, and she was the same old Icepaw. She was afraid, defensive, prickly, sarcastic, and what she had always been; torn.

There was a long road; but she would travel it. She was going home.

Okay people, please come back. She's going back, so pretty soon we'll have some more of the typical ShadowClan coolness. Even if you aren't fans of ShadowClan, I think I've got a pretty good plot planned out, so please read it! I thank you for all reviews, and apologize for my infrequent updates. THIS STORY WILL NOT END FOR A LLLOOONNNGGG TIME!

~Iceshadow of ShadowClan~