Chapter 3

'An over-protective, paranoid, macho jerk', she had called him...and Steve had to wonder if Jaime was right. Was he out of line, in what he'd been thinking? He knew he'd been out of line in what he'd said to her, accusing her of enjoying the way Michael had held her, and he'd apologized sincerely (meaning every word)...but clearly the damage had been done. The tears in Jaime's eyes - and especially knowing that he'd put them there - broke Steve's heart. She had turned her face away from him and closed her eyes, insisting she was tired and wanted to sleep, effectively ending the discussion for the time being.

He wished he would've taken the time (since her car crash that had wiped out three years of Jaime's memory) to tell her about her past relationship with Michael – but somehow the topic had never seemed important enough to discuss. In truth, it had never really crossed his mind to tell her. Michael himself had brought it up to Steve during the hospital siege, when it looked probable that Jaime would need brain surgery (for a rejection-related blood clot). At the time, Steve hadn't given it a second thought; he'd wanted Jaime to have the best care possible...and Michael was widely acknowledged as one of the very best in his field.

And now...what if there really was a problem? He still wanted Jaime to receive the best available care; of course, he did! He just was no longer sure 'the best' meant Michael. Steve was glad Mark Conrad would be stopping over that night, as soon as his plane landed. He had a lot of soul-searching to do before morning.

In his office at National, Michael was doing some soul-searching of his own. What Steve had witnessed had been perfectly innocent...but if he hadn't appeared in the doorway when he had, would things have stayed so innocent? Michael wanted to believe in his own good intentions. He certainly hadn't felt anything other than professional concern when he'd caught Jaime in his arms and helped her back to the bed - but what about a few moments earlier, when their eyes had met and he'd had to force himself to look away? He'd prevented Jaime from seeing what he was thinking and feeling - but that hadn't made it any less painful (or difficult to accept) for him. He had loved her once...and if he was going to be completely honest with himself, Michael would have to face that he had never stopped loving her.

Love wasn't something the young doctor took lightly. It was a luxury he'd never allowed himself while taking the fast track through school, graduating with every honor and then moving on into his specialized areas of research. There simply had never been time - or never a woman he considered allowing the time for - until Jaime. But having feelings for her (or even loving her) had been one thing when she was single and available; it was now another matter entirely. It went against Michael's sense of ethics and morals to be entertaining these thoughts about another man's wife. He would pull himself off of Jaime's case if he had to...but he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

''Well, I heard Jaime's side of things,'' Mark said, emerging from the bedroom early that evening, ''now it's time to hear yours.''

''Is she...alright?''

''She's sleeping. I gave her something; she'll be out for a couple of hours. Let's go out on the porch. I'm thinking you could use some air.''

Steve wasn't sure where to begin. ''What did Jaime say...other than my being a 'macho jerk'?''

''She had a few other choice epithets too,'' Mark told him softly, ''but mostly she's hurt. And very confused.''

''What else did she say?''

''I'd rather hear your point of view.''

''Michael sent me for coffee, saying Jaime might be more comfortable telling him what was going on with her - medically - if I wasn't there,'' Steve began.

''Which might actually be true,'' Mark acknowledged.

''Yeah. Except when I got back up there, Michael was holding her! And it sure didn't look very 'doctor-patient' to me!''

''I assume you asked Michael about it?''

''Of course I did! And he said she'd gotten dizzy and nearly fell. Jaime said the same thing.''

''But...you don't believe them?'' Mark questioned.

''I know she got dizzy...but I also know what I saw.''

''Which was...?''

''I saw the way he was looking at her! And it might've been a 'bedside manner'...but not a doctor's bedside manner, if you know what I mean.''

''Steve...do you trust your wife?''

''That's not even a question!''

''Do you?''

''Of course I do!'' Steve insisted.

''I had to ask - because a few days ago you had an issue with thinking she was defending Chris Williams. And now this with Michael...''

''You're saying it's all in my head, Doc?''

Mark shook his head. ''Not necessarily. You feel what you feel. But you need to decide for yourself whether or not you trust your wife enough to let go of these jealousies - because if you don't, you're going to lose her. And trust Jaime enough to tell her about her past relationship with Michael; then let her decide - or rather, decide together- if she needs a different doctor.''

''Michael saved her life...more than once...and he knows her case. I don't want her to have to 'settle' for a lesser doctor - but after today, I'm not sure if I can trust him. I want to trust him...''

''Trust your wife - enough to tell her the truth.''

Steve nodded, deep in thought. The therapist's words were rebounding through his head like a bullet: If you don't...you're going to lose her...