The next day I walk into the temple with Kimarhi and Lulu. Wakka has blitzball practice everyday this week, so I told him that it'd be okay for him to stay behind. Blitz is important to him, that's his method for escape. Everyone around me has one. All of us are looking for release. Soon I'll be able to give that to everyone. I'll find a way. I'll become a summoner. I look up to see my guardians watching me, waiting in solemn reverence. I step forward.

"Kimarhi, because you've always stood by me, even in silence..." I begin, "I've felt your support, and I am grateful for that," I whisper as I approach the Cloister. I give him my smile.

"Lulu, thanks for your support, and your advice." I say, giving her the same smile.

I stop for a moment, thinking over the events of last night. It'll be okay, I'll make it. I take one deep breath to clear my mind. Then I step into the Cloister and begin to pray.

"You could at least go see how they are doing." suggests the priest.

"We can't interfere. It's a rule." states Wakka.

"But it's been nearly a day..." he protests.

Wakka stops and thinks of Yuna. She said it was okay for him to practice with the team while she went to pray. Now that he had practiced he thought it would be good to check up on her, even if there was nothing he could do except pray.

She might be in trouble, but Lulu and Kimarhi have her covered. Wakka's sure of that, but still uneasy. He follows the priest to the temple; his stomach upset. Yuna's like his little sister. He doesn't want any harm to come to her. And he doesn't really want for her to become a summoner, but he can't force her to be what he wants her to be.

Tidus was halfway asleep when a man walked in and said something about a day, and he sounded worried. A dream quickly flashed through his mind. A memory of his father. Tidus recoiled instantly. He jumped out of the cot he was in, shook it off, and walked to the temple.

"Is something wrong?" Tidus inquires.

"The summoner hasn't returned from the trial." Wakka responds. "A day's already gone by."

"Is it particularly dangerous in there?"

"Sometimes, yes." Wakka says gravely.

"Why don't you go in and help?"

"There's already guardians in there. Besides, it's forbidden."

Tidus couldn't take that for an answer. Lives can't be replaced. All people are special, unique, precious.

"Hey, but what if something happens? What if the summoner dies!?"

"The precepts must be obeyed!" Objects a priest as Tidus ascends the stairs.

"Like I care!" shouts Tidus as he went through a pair of doors.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Tidus began to have a little doubt in his mind. He shut it out by just pressing on as fast as he could. His thoughts couldn't catch him if he ran fast enough.

"Hey!" Shouts Wakka. "What's gotten into you?"

Tidus responds with a smirk.

"Hey it's okay. Only summoners, apprentice summoners, and their guardians can enter here. It's a tradition. Very important." Wakka states.

"So what about you?"

"Me? I'm a guardian."

Yuna

I struggle for words to speak. My heart's broken. I'm in tears. The fayth haven't answered my prayer. How could this be? WHY WHY WHY!? I can't become a summoner if the fayth don't respond. I need them to respond otherwise I will never be able to defeat Sin. I pray harder, with more fervor, more faith. But mainly more desperation. Desperation that keeps me running. I don't want to think of what will happen if I fail.

Just as I reach wit's end the fayth respond. Not with words, or anything I detect physically. It's just a voice in my mind. A voice telling me that I've done it, that I've become a summoner. With tears of gratitude I finally allow myself a break. I'm completely exhausted from my experience. I don't think I can take anymore of anything right now. I need to just sit down and rest. Yes, that's it, some rest. I'll take just a little nap, compose myself, and then go out and tell Kimarhi and Lulu. I'll be excited. I did it!

I feel a rush of emotions in me, I feel confused. Excited? Wait, for who? Excited for me? Excited for them? Why should I be excited? I haven't done anything yet. I've just taken a step. Besides, nobody really cares. I still don't have anyone who really loves me. If anyone really loves me they would know how much I hurt. They would know why I'm always sad. Maybe they can't make it better, but at least they can listen to me. I want a true, deep friend who loves me! Just one! Oh daddy, why did you have to die?

I break down in tears again, knowing I can't tell anyone. That no one can know what I'm going through. I'm not going to bemoan my fate, my lot in life. Sure, I'm shortchanged. Sure I feel depressed often. But, I came up with a new thought. To smile in the face of darkness. I will smile, just keep smiling through all the darkness and pain. I love these people, and giving makes me happy. Yes, that's what made it of all bearable. Giving. I will give them a smile and an excited look when I finally come out, but first, I'll take a nap.

Tidus and the others looked on with awe as a disheveled Yuna opened the chamber doors and stepped out. She began down the stairs when she felt dizzy, still faint from her experience, and began to fall. Kimarhi rushed up to grab her, and make sure she was okay.

Yuna thanked Kimarhi and stood, saying the words she had heard. "I've done it. I have become a summoner!"

Kimarhi, Lulu, and Wakka all congratulate her while a confused Tidus wonders why this summoner is so young. The statues in the lobby are all of older men and women. At least 50 or 60 years old, and here was one, around his age!

Yuna left for the temple lobby. Her guardians and Tidus followed. There, people praised Yevon as they heard that Yuna has become a summoner. Outside people gathered to watch as a new hope for Spira had come forth. A summoner, one with courage enough to go forth and wage war against Sin.

"Hey watch this." I hear Wakka say to someone behind me. "Ready." He then says to me.

"Okay."

Trying my best to keep a straight face, the tears would have to wait for my pillow. I pull out my summoning staff. I don't know how to use it, but I hear that voice again, telling me not to worry. That the prayer in my heart guided by my staff would be enough to summon the aeon.

Sure enough, as I stand there I feel a magical energy come from the ground, and I guide it into the skies. Then moments later the aeon appears. It is fearsome looking, like a battle hardened warrior. It also looks regal and majestic. But what is truly incredible is what it's telling me. I feel the words more than anything else. Feelings of peace and comfort, and that she is my friend.

Finally! I thought to myself, a friend! I don't have to be lonely anymore! I reached out to caress this aeon, Valefor as she's called. If this is what my journey will entail, I'm downright happy with it!

Everyone began to cheer and clap. Wakka and Lulu came up to congratulate me. Lulu could see that I'd been crying recently, and she tried to comfort me and tell me it's okay. That I don't have to be afraid, that she'll be there with me. How much it hurts to hear those words. She doesn't know what I'm feeling, and she doesn't ask to know. She just assumes she doesn't need to know. This is why I feel so alone. I don't have friends around me who can really listen! They just assume what is going on inside of me! I'll never tell them, not unless they ask me. I don't need their pity!

Even as I feel all this inside my face is a lie. I smile back with them and speak of how great it is that I'm a summoner, that this really is my dream.

That night the village was gathered around a bonfire like it always was on any celebration night. I speak with some of the village elders, and spend time with the younger ones. I notice that they feel happier because of how I treat them. I love these people. And that is why I'm a summoner. It fills me with a little sadness to know that I'll be gone, but if it brings eternal smiles to them and their children, it'll all be worth it. Because of the warmth I feel inside as they smile back at me. I feel like crying with joy! But if I cry they might think I'm weak. And I can't have that. No, I need to do this alone. Nobody else volunteered their life.The feeling sinks deep into me.

At that moment I hear a commotion coming from the Aurochs. Chants of "Victory!" It makes me happy to see people enjoying themselves; to see them have hope. Wakka told me earlier about Tidus. That he's a blitzball player of incredible skill, that he's from Zanarkand, and that he'll play at the tournament in Luca in the hopes that someone there will recognize him. Wakka also told me how he had defied the precepts in coming down to the cloister. That part stuck out to me. I'm supposed to be the one giving. I don't expect others to be able to give to me. I'm surprised to think of his courage.

It's kinda like mine, he sacrificed his safety for my well being. He did so willingly for me, a stranger. I marvel in awe. I don't know what to think of it, so I decide I'll say thanks. I stand and walk over to him.

"I'm Yuna. Thank you so much for your help earlier."

"Uh, yeah, I'm sorry about that. Wasn't I not supposed to... Guess I... kind of overreacted."

"Oh no, I was overconfident." My head bows in some measure of shame. I almost didn't become a summoner I remind myself.

"I saw that aeon thing. That's amazing!"

"Really?" My heart skips a beat. I don't know why but hearing a compliment helps me out of my shame. He seems sincere, like he cares about me, like he's listening, so I ask,

"Do you think I can become High Summoner?"

He nods. Not what I'm expecting, but he doesn't start rambling off. He's just standing there, waiting for me to speak.

Suddenly Kalia runs up to me and says," Lady Yuna, come play with me some more!" I nod, feeling a little sad that this conversation is going to end. But we'll be together tomorrow, and Kalia won't be.

"So, tomorrow, then." I say to Tidus.

"Tomorrow?"

"We're going on the same boat, aren't we?" I ask, a little more than confused. Wait, is he not coming?

"Oh really?" Maybe he's just confused. So he still is coming.

"We can talk more." I turn around and say over my shoulder,

"You can tell me all about Zanarkand." I walk off to play with Kalia. After that I finally return to the temple to get some rest. It's very late, and most of the villagers have already returned home. Besides, I'm leaving in the morning. I need to be in the best condition.

The next morning I wake up and finish putting my things in order. I want to give some small gifts to the temples that we'll visit, so I pack a bag full of gifts. While I'm dragging it down the temple stairs Lulu calls out,

"You really don't need all that luggage."

"Uh, they're not really my things," I stammer. "They're gifts, for the temples were to visit."

"This isn't a vacation Yuna," Wakka shouts out.

Resigning I say,

"I guess, I guess you're right."

And I walk off without those gifts. The gifts really don't matter. I just thought it would be nice to keep giving. The more I give the better I feel. But when Lulu and Wakka said that, it stung. Didn't they see I was just trying to be generous? I thought about if from their perspective. I was just bringing along a load that others would have to bear. I don't want to do that. I guess it makes it okay for me to leave it behind. I look back at the temple and say a quick prayer asking for forgiveness for assuming so much.

We leave the village for the docks. At the top of the small mountain overlooking the village we stop shortly. Lulu says to me,

"Take your time."

I look over at her in, well I'm not sure what, annoyance? I don't feel sad this time. But I'm reminded, people just talk and nobody listens.

I head towards the prayer rock to say a prayer, asking Yevon for the strength to continue my journey. Wakka joins me, and shortly after Tidus does as well. Lulu watches us.

We head down the mountain to the beach. People there are celebrating me. Celebrating the existence of another summoner. I cry inside my heart. They never will understand the pain a summoner faces to bring them joy.

I begin my way up the boat when Tidus catches up and says,

"Hey Yuna! These people really love you, they wanted me to give these gifts to you. They seem really valuable."

I smile at him, then I turn and face the crowd.

I'll never see any of them again. I think, saddened by the thought. I'm stuck in a cycle. Feeling sad, thinking of giving, feeling no love in return, being sad. It just continues! Nothing I do pulls me out, I just hope I can go around enough times so that I can finish my pilgrimage and defeat Sin.