Chapter 24, I will not be alone

The forest was damp with rain. The trees creaked and whispered through the wind.
It was through the oak trees near Sunning Rocks that a black form padded. A form whose shoulders were hunched and their head hung low.
As a bird departed the trees nearby, soaring into the distance, Nighrose's face lifted. Her green eyes spoke of one who has had their dreams torn away. Her black paws moved almost without thinking, as if in a dream.

It has been a moon since Nightrose received the news from ShadowClan. Iceshadow of ShadowClan, as they called her, was dead. Nightrose had not been there. Nightrose had not been there when her little Icekit died. It was hard to believe that the same kit she knew; the same kit she had comforted when she was scared, the same kit she had scolded when she was bad, the same kit who had flown into a temper and run away; the same kit she had had in the nursery was gone. Just like that, snatched away.

Nightrose had not been like she should have been. She had wanted Icepaw back and she had fought for her. But in the fighting, had she once stopped to tell Iceshadow that she loved her, or that she wanted her home.

She stopped, considering what she was doing. She was doing something which she knew in the end would be the end of her. Nightrose of ThunderClan was betraying her Clan and she might end up alone, a rogue, a loner. But she was already alone. So, so, alone. There was no one. Swiftwing, who had been her friend from when they had been apprentices, looked at her with only sorrow in her eyes. She would comfort Nightrose, but they had lost their old companionship. They didn't laugh, they didn't smile. Swiftwing was the only person in ThunderClan that made life worth living. Shadefrost she didn't trust.

"Maskface," she called out.

She saw him coming out of the shadows. Those amber eyes. She almost choked as she knew she still loved him. He was all she had left and she was still in love.

"Nightrose," he said sadly.

She ran to meet him, touching noses.

"We have found our way into a tangle we will never get out of, Nightrose." His soft mew startled her. "A tangle of lies, a tangle of death, and a tangle of love." he pushed her back, looking into her eyes. "There is no one for you and there is no one for me. No one except you."

"What about Owlsong?" she asked gently. In those eyes she could find an eternity. He had betrayed her, he had betrayed their secret, and Iceshadow wouldn't be dead without him. He had betrayed his second mate. How could she still love him?

"I've betrayed everyone, you know that. Which is why I have decided something, my dear." It had been a long time since he called her dear.

She had found him in the forest, despairing. He had seen the patrols, but he could never go back. He had stayed at Sunning Rocks. The solo hunting missions where she could visit him were the days she lived for, and she felt a tremor go through her.

"You know, my rose. I'm going. I'm going to a land where I can be happy, where I can forget and be forgotten. I'm going to a land where I can be lost and found at the same time. I will die alone and I will die thinking of you, but I can't be with you. It will hurt too much, and your Clan will not accept me. I've hurt you too much to stay with you. You have to get strong without me."

As he left for a life of solitude, a life far away; the life of a rogue; it hurt almost too much to bear.

She would not give up. Nightrose slowly began to remember herself, to find the Nightrose before she loved Maskface and before everything went wrong.

She made one promise to herself. I will not be alone. I will be strong.

*.*

Nightrose stood near Sunning Rocks a long time, looking at the sunset almost hidden beyond the clouds. It felt as if she had lost everyone; and she had lost herself, too.

She heard a cat in the bracken and thorns behind her. Slowly, she turned. Her green eyes already were expecting who it was to be, already awaiting the one person she thought would never enter into her life.

"Oh Nightrose." It was Shadefrost.

It took her back to the days when she had been an apprentice. Sneaky but loyal Shadefrost, kind and brave Swiftwing, passionate and imaginative Nighrose. They had been apprentices together, and they had been always together. Swiftwing had been a medicine cat apprentice, but they had helped her gather herbs. Owlstripe and Lightflash had been in love since the first moment, always staying together. She had forgotten about their old friendship, the way she felt when she saw him.

Had she loved him? If she had, Maskface had come between them. He had wiped all the thoughts of Shadefrost out of her mind, and he had become cruel. He had taken away her dreams with his unkind words, with his cold eyes. He had been her Executioner of Dreams.

Maskface was gone, and she would always love him. Suddenly, she was not lost any more.

He would not badger her, he would not tell Lavenderstar, he would be who he was, instead of the cold imposter that the years had turned him into. They would be friends again; and someday maybe more. She had her Snowblossom, and she had her two oldest friends.

Their eyes met, and for the first time she didn't feel alone.

I know it's not what you were waiting for, but I will have more edgy stuff going on; this took a completely unexpected turn. Don't worry, the master plot is going to keep going! I just had to tie in that little Maskface thread. I'm sorry if you wanted more Maskface, anyone? PM me if you did! I don't think he's coming back, and I don't think Mask x Owl will work out, but you never know. PM me if you want more Maskface, because I just think I might have an idea of a sweet but possibly not to your satisfaction ending. Please review my longest fanfiction!

~Iceshadow of mixed heritage~