*Chapter 4*

*Even when you think no one notices...*

-Kaoru's POV-

I've never felt so bored in my life...

I was sitting in Music Room 3 about 20 minutes before Host Club started, watching the other Hosts who were setting out teacups and sweets amongst the tables. I just sat on the couch at me and Hikaru's table, legs crossed. Which wasn't really unusual, since Hikaru and I usually never help out unless "King" Tamaki asks us. But it looked like Milord was just going to leave me here, alone with my thoughts once again.

I wanted to get up and help everyone set the tables but I also really, really didn't feel like it today. I haven't felt very motivated lately. I mean I'm still happy and energetic but I just haven't felt like using that energy. How do I discribe this feeling? My life feels...faded around the edges. The things that give me joy and happiness are still there, but they feel...less solid; less there. Like they'll be gone soon.

Maybe this isn't boredom...

I thought back to this morning and absentmindedly started rubbing my wrist. I couldn't stop staring at that knife. God...what was I about to do? Why do I keep thinking about this? About killing myself? My life was great! Wasn't it?

I looked up when Tono (Milord) passed by our couch. He just waved a me and kept going. He was carrying at least 20 teacups, how the Hell did he wave? I shook my head and chortled to myself before looking around the room, finally noticing Haruhi wasn't here yet. Now that I think about it, she wasn't even in class today. I looked at everyone else. They were all smiling as if they never knew her to begin with; like she never existed.

Is this what they will look like when they move on?

"What's wrong Kao-chan? Do you want some cake?"

I looked over at the only person in the room who calls me 'Kao-chan' "I was just wondering why you never call Mori Taka-chan."

I watched Hunny cock his head to the side and look up at Mori, who shook his head disapprovingly at the tiny blond. Maybe he was just to Proud to be address with '-chan'.

-Hunny's POV (Same scene)-

"Do you need any help Tama-chan?"

"Hm? No thank you Senpai. But I do have something for you!"

I was going to ask what what it was when Takashi covered my eyes. When he finally dropped his hands I saw the greatest thing in the world! A three layed strawberry cake! I was so happy I could practically see tiny little flowers dancing around my head! Next to the cake was a tiny card:

'Congratulations On Winning Yet Another Tournament!'
At the bottom of the card was a drawing of a flying Teddy Bear. It even had a cute little cape!

Tamaki beamed at my excitement "I made it with those instant cake mix boxes commonors use, and I'll even let you in on a little secret. Usa-chan helped me bake it!"

I hugged usa-chan even tighter. I could just barely see Kyoya shaking his head out of the corner of my eye "Thank you guys! Hey Hika-chan do you want some cake?" I don't bother asking Kyo-chan because he doesn't like sweets.

"No thanks Senpai. One of those Strawberries is actually a pepper and I'm not telling you which one."

That's when Takashi tapped my shoulder and nodded towards Kao-chan. I looked over towards his couch and saw him rubbing his wrist with an indescribable look on his face. As Tama-chan and Hika-chan argued over which Strawberry was that infamous pepper I looked back at Takashi and whispered "He's been like that for days now. Should I go talk to him?"

Takashi and I watched the way Kao-chan reacted when Tama-chan walked passed him and waved at him somehow even though he was carrying at least 15 or 20 teacups. The way Kaoru laughed looked more like he was using Tama-chan as an excuse to get his mind off of whatever he was thinking about. What could have possibly that bad? When Takashi finally nodded I called out "What's wrong Kao-chan? Do you want some cake?"

He snapped away from whatever was holding his mind hostage and look in my direction "I was just wondering why you never call Mori Taka-chan."

I cocked my head. Why would Kao-chan lie to me like that? I looked up at Takashi who was shaking his head at me, silently telling me not to press any further.

-Tamaki's POV (right after Hunny and Kaoru talk)-

When I had finally finished setting the tables I glanced at the clock. Host Club would officially starting in 12 minutes and my daughter was still missing! I mean she was always late but that doesn't mean I can't still worry about her. Her or Kaoru for that matter. Lately he's been what can only be described as a very saddened actor being paid to playing a happy role. He may have been doing a very good job staying in character, but you could still see the sorrow in his eyes if you looked hard enough. Even his laughter had changed. Almost like he's trying to cheer himself up by laughing more.

I was thinking of ways to cheer him up when the Club's doors opened. I turned around and put on my best and brightest smile "Hello Princesses and welcome to th- WHAT IS THAT THING?!"

I dove behind the couch as everyones eyes shot forward.

"What the fuck is that?!

"Language Kaoru!"

"Haru-chan...Is that you?"

Haruhi was out there with that thing?! I peeked. Oh! That thing WAS Haruhi.

Her hair was a mess and she was wearing her grandfather's thick, square glasses again. She was still wearing her school uniform but her blazer was opened, revealing a white untucked dress shirt with mis-aligned buttons. Her tie wasn't even on, it was just drapped across her shoulders. She was also visibly irritated.

"I thought I told you to go home!" yelled Hikaru who was hiding behind the couch next to me. Next to him was a very confused Kaoru, clinging on to his brother's arm. Next to him were Hunny and Mori. Never knew this couch was so big...

She gritted her teeth "I would have but SOMEONE would have taken it upon themselves to add more to my debt!"

Kyoya looked up from his laptop and smirked "Now why would I do that? Go home, your excused for the day."

She groaned, grasping at her stomach before nodding and practically limped away.

When she was gone I looked at Kyoya, the only one who wasn't hiding "Mommy what was that thing!?"

He simply smiled "Well Haruhi IS a girl after all."

I don't get it...

Hikaru face-palms, grabs a marker and walks over to the white board in the corner of the room as everyone else went back to there seats. He wrote the sentence "Haruhi is a girl.' and then circled the punctuation mark which an arrow pointing to it.

I cocked my head "I don't get it, all you did was write Haruhi is a girl and then circled the...Oh...OH! Wait...she gets those?"

Hikaru through his hands into the air in disbelief before erasing the board and storming to his station, sitting next to his twin who did nothing more than shake his head and laugh... Was it something I said?

(A/N I realize the period joke wouldn't have actually worked since they are Japanese but just ignore that for now, I just had to put it in there! Oh and don't forget to leave a review guys! Reviews give Kaoru hope.)