It might not have been obvious where Maskface was going, so this chapter should clear that up.

Chapter 25, Lost or Found

This time the sun was rising as the flat plains stood before him. A few thin stalks of grass and reed stuck up, waving gently in the invisible breeze. Maskface watched the dawn thoughtfully as he stood still. Despite the early morning it was not cold.

He was walking away from Nightrose; pretty, understanding, passionate, and above all broken Nightrose. He didn't know if he was hurting her more by leaving. He felt there should be some inward sense of certainty, some sense that he was doing the right thing. Inside he only felt hope. The hope at one moment was as beautiful and as gentle as the sunset, and at the next moment, it was burning and hurt as much as if he had stepped into a fire.

Maskface didn't know if he was finding himself, or loosing himself. He thought briefly of the look in her eyes. It had been acceptance as he stepped away from her.

She would not stay broken. In time, she would mend and be the same Nightrose he had known again, with her flashing green eyes, her rash behaviour, her pure heart, and her kind voice.

But would he? Would he ever be the same, would he ever forget?

No. He would never forget. There was something else in the corners of his mind. Owlsong. He had left her, he had betrayed her, and he could never ever return to her or make her heart heal. He would never forget either of them, and he would never be the same.

But maybe, just maybe... his paws trembled at the thought as he dared to hope beyond even his burning hopes... the change would have been for the better.

Nothing was resolved or predestined as he began to go on the hardest journey of his life.

As he strode forward, a lithe form slipped out of the shadows. He looked up in surprise to see a light brown shecat with light blue eyes staring at him.

"You look like something is on your mind," she said easily.

"Who are you?" Maskface asked in surprise. The loner was young, and reminded him slightly of the cat he had not dared to approach; his kit with Nightrose, Snowblossom. He could sense the same imagination as Nightrose, the same compassion of Snowblossom, and the bravery of Owlsong within her.

"My name is Shine," she said.

"Maskface." he answered.

Shine inclined her head. "You are alone."

"In more way than one," Maskface wondered if this young soul could really understand.

"Then I suggest we find our future together." She said simply. Her blue eyes seemed to say the rest. She was alone.

The hope soared in his chest. He vowed silently he would take care of this young cat in the same way he would have taken care of his own kits.

He was going to be a rogue, but he would not be alone.

I'm going to a land where I can be happy, where I can forget and be forgotten. I'm going to a land where I can be lost and found at the same time. I will die alone and I will die thinking of you, but I can't be with you.

He would think of his Owlsong and his Nightrose; and maybe someday he would find himself.

"We will find our way," he vowed to her.

*.*

The rain was slashing through ThunderClan territory. Forestshadow walked through the blinding sheets of rain, hurrying to Sunning Rocks where some shelter might be found. As he came to the looming expanse of stone by the swelling river, he stiffened slightly.

His amber eyes searched keenly through the near darkness for the source of the noise. As his brown fur was plastered to his back, he decided to hurry forward.

As he sat in an overhang, waiting for the rain to pass, he thought about just how lucky he was.

Luckier than Iceshadow.

They would never be able to forget Iceshadow; Iceshadow of ShadowClan. He wouldn't be able to forget the stupid apprentice fights they'd had, where Icepaw's temper got the better of her. He wouldn't be able to forget how much she had changed, what a good warrior she had become.

He would never be able to forget how easily those blue eyes changed. From an anger so fierce she would attack a Clanmate, to a dancing glow of happiness, to a watery and hurt gaze, to the way they had been when he saw her die.

There were no accurate words to describe the haze in her eyes as she dove in front of the monster, pushed Snowblossom out of the way when he was too far away. He would never know if it had been a haze of insanity or a haze of love and bravery.

Suddenly, he spun around. There were slow, steady, pawsteps coming towards him.

"Forestshadow," a voice came.

He filled with dread as the bloody cat emerged on top of Sunning Rocks, standing in the rain. He knew that voice.

"He was here, Maskface was here." Blue eyes found his. "I see things differently now." she cocked her head, rain splashing down and over her face and eyes. She choked. "I don't know if I've found myself or lost myself."

Insanity clouded her eyes.

It was Iceshadow.

This may not make a whole lot of sense right now, but it will unfold. And unlike my self-insert, I'm not insane... or at least sane enough to write a plot... Reviews will help me.

~Iceshadow of questionable sanity (if you didn't get that was a joke, reread it!)