Wow, thanks to EVERYONE! You helped me out so much with those reviews. It really means a lot that you took the time :) This is a flashback, as Goddess of Darkness was confused in a review, about Iceshadow being alive. This also covers Snakepaw... er, Snakeclaw's part of the story. I won't ruin the last part of the story with my author's note, (slight spoiler, very slight) but I really like Owlsong in this chapter, and I feel like... I've fixed the mess I created with these characters! Yay!
Chapter 26, Live Memories
The ShadowClan pines remained perfectly still in the early morning light. Snakeclaw remained still, sitting in the medicine cat den. Moss, a fallen branch, a sleeping Sleetflash, and fallen leaves gathered in drifts surrounded him.
Behind the amber eyes, there was an emptiness. His eyes stared at nothing, not as if he was seeing things that weren't there, but as if he were somewhere else.
Images flashed inside his mind. Confusing, jumbled, memories.
First her eyes. Flashing, blue, happy. Her words ringing in his eyes. "I love you." Perfect happiness flooding through her eyes.
The shriek came, thin and terrified. They had both leapt into action, running towards the noise.
They halted for a minute, moving in synchrony. Then suddenly, as he froze, the synchrony was broken.
His world was broken, dashed to pieces.
Her eyes transformed once more, to a determined bravery.
She hurtled towards the monster, pushing her sister out of the way, and spinning around towards the monster...
A scream. She flew through the air, the monster speeding past. He had run towards her, even as monsters growled in the distance, threatening to sweep him off the Thunderpath as well.
She was bleeding. He couldn't make the words come. He couldn't tell her he loved her, had always loved her, would always love her. He just stared down in horror as she lay before him. She was not as she had been before, brave, determined; fiercely beautiful. She was lying, broken, bleeding, afraid.
As another monster hurtled toward him, Forestshadow grabbed the scruff of his neck. The tortoiseshell tom had run to Snowblossom, then seen Iceshadow lying on the Thunderpath. Forestshadow pulled Snakeclaw out of the way of the monster, Iceshadow still lying on the side of the Thunderpath.
They both saw her go still. "Go," Forestshadow whispered hoarsely.
It had been only as he sat numbly in the camp, after telling ShadowClan Iceshadow was dead, that he realized something that broke his heart. Silverheart's reassuring words and gentle touches were empty, although not empty in intent, he couldn't think of anything except his realization. Sleetflash had taken him to her den to prevent him from returning to Iceshadow's body. Her body. It was as if she had never been a living cat, now she was just a body.
The last memory hurt more than all the rest, more than joy, sorrow, and love. He had padded out into the empty, sleeping camp at twilight. The pine needles rustled gently as he stepped, as if whispering sympathy. The shadowy camp looked more gray than dark in the mixed light. The velvety black sky shone through the green boughs of the trees, ever so softly rustling.
He had never told her he loved her.
*.*
Owlsong pounced swiftly on the mouse which was moving among the pines. She looked away through two rows of pines. It unexpectedly took her breath away. It looked like a tunnel, a straight path, going forever.
The thought of forever brought back a love she had felt for forever. A love that had been hoped for, fulfilled, and broken over and over again. Maskface had sent word that he had gone to live like a rogue. He had left words for her, but not what she had wanted. Maskface had not told her that he loved her, that he'd be thinking of her, or any other meaningful thing that lovers should say.
But he had never loved her, had he?
There are no words for you, because words are too small for us. Someday you will understand everything.
As she looked sadly into the passage in the trees, a small change took place in her heart.
Someday, she would understand. Someday she would see him again, whether it was in StarClan or in this forest that was their home together.
Her heart took a leap as she recalled memories of before Nightrose, before everything. Apprentices together, friends, dreaming with their heads in the clouds. Playing games full of a meaning no one else would understand. In the lonely forest, suddenly the sun broke through the thick branches and Maskface was there again, beside her, laughing. She saw him as he had been, as perhaps he might someday be again. Happy; together.
The truth of it dawned on her, and sorrow did not leave her; but it turned to understanding.
Words are too small for live memories.