Chapter 13
''I said no calls for the next hour!'' Rudy snapped into the phone. ''What? Oh God...no. I'll be right up.'' He hung up the phone and looked at Michael with dark, sober eyes. ''It's Jaime; it sounds like she threw another clot. Or the first one didn't dissolve. But...we've got a problem.''
Michael noticed that Rudy had said 'we' - and there was no question that Jaime needed him. There wouldn't be time to find someone else. ''Let's go!'' He picked up the phone on his way out the door. ''This is Doctor Marchetti. Have my team ready OR-1, STAT.''
Up in Jaime's room, Mark was trying his best to hold the oxygen mask to Jaime's face. Steve was rubbing the palm of her left hand, something that had calmed her since she was a young child - but this was physical, not emotional...so the loving gesture was futile. But it was all he could do. When Rudy and Michael came rushing in, Steve willingly stepped aside to allow Michael to take his place at Jaime's side. The young doctor took one look at Jaime's face - specifically at her pupils - and knew the awful reality.
''She needs surgery - right now,'' he announced. He looked to Rudy, who nodded toward Steve. All three doctors looked toward Steve...who also nodded.
''Help her,'' he pleaded.
Michael's team arrived with a gurney and - after a kiss from her husband - Jaime was quickly wheeled away, leaving Steve alone with Mark. The doctor watched his bereft patient stare at the now-empty bed and run his hand across the pillow as though caressing Jaime's spirit.
''She's in good hands,'' Mark told him.
''I know.''
''Let's talk about what happened today,'' Mark suggested, ''and about what you saw when you came back.''
''Let's not, Doc.''
''It had to be very, very painful.''
''I don't want to talk about it. The only thing that matters right now is that Jaime...is okay,'' Steve insisted.
''You matter too. Your thoughts...your feelings...they matter. And you can't bury them - or they'll fester and come out when you don't want them to. And you really can't keep go around punching holes in walls...or God forbid, in people.''
''You wanna know what I saw? What I felt? It broke my heart, seeing her in his arms...kissing him. Especially kissing him like that! But what really broke my heart was knowing I drove her to that. I'm the reason she felt she needed that!''
Finally they were getting somewhere! ''Unless you're psychic - and frankly, I don't believe in psychics - you can't tell me what was going on in anyone's head but your own,'' Mark pointed out.
''So you're saying Jaime would've turned to him, no matter what?''
''I didn't say that. Do you think that?''
''I'm not sure what to think anymore,'' Steve told him. ''I never thought Jaime would cheat on me...''
''And you consider what you saw 'cheating'.'' (It was not a question.)
''No...and yes.''
''Explain, please.''
''I mean, she didn't sleep with him; I know that. But I saw Jaime's face while she was with him - when they didn't know I was standing there - and she was completely with him. He wasn't just comforting her and she wasn't hiding her face because she was afraid of me! For that moment at least...she wasn't 'my' Jaime. She was 'his'.''
''So you acknowledge, then, that you didn't cause this,'' Mark noted.
''Maybe...not entirely. But she'd never have been in his arms to start with if I hadn't lost my cool.''
''This all started when you 'lost your cool' then...or did something happen that made you lose your cool?''
''You know what happened, Doc.''
''I want you to tell me,'' Mark pressed him.
''I saw Michael holding her, in a way he had no business holding her. Of course, it turns out she'd gotten dizzy and he caught her but -''
''But in your eyes, it was something more.''
''Well...yeah. I mean, if he caught her when she was falling...great. I'm glad he didn't let her hit the floor. But once he got her over to the bed, he was still holding her. That was what I saw. That was how it started.''
''And Jaime - what was she doing then?'' Mark wondered.
''She was dizzy...sort of 'out of it'.''
''So you're saying the fault really lies with Michael.''
''And with me. I overreacted. And after that, when I saw them together again...I guess for a minute I saw Kingsley's hands on her, instead of Michael's. That was when I really lost it. That's part of what I can't forget - the look in Jaime's eyes. She was...afraid...of me!''
''That was why you decided to leave her,'' Mark concluded.
''Yeah. I don't want her to feel that way about me - not ever.''
''Wouldn't a better solution have been to sit down and talk with Jaime about it?''
''Well, I know that now - and God, I wish I had - but I don't think she has any interest in working things out. Not anymore. Not after what I saw today,'' Steve said sadly.
''Are you still planning to leave her?''
''I don't know. That depends on Jaime, I guess. I'll still offer her the annulment, if she wants to be with Michael. From the looks of things today, she's made her choice. And it isn't me.''
''And you're reading her mind again.''
''She wasn't protesting what was happening. And she wasn't a passive participant this time. I may have misinterpreted things early on...but I know what I saw today. I know my wife. And what I saw on her face was passion. For him.
''And now he's down there, operating on her brain. Are you okay with that?''
''I have to be, Doc. He's got Jaime's life in his hands!''