Chapter 20
The next morning, Jaime finally opened her eyes at the right time, to see Steve gazing over at her. ''Hi,'' he said softly, trying not to wince at the pain in his chest.
''Steve...'' she began, ''I'm sorry...''
Mark watched silently from across the room, there if the Austins needed him but in the background and out of their direct line of vision if they didn't. He had pagers in his pocket for Michael and Doctor Kyle (Steve's thoracic specialist) if Jaime or Steve should begin to have trouble - but they seemed to be doing just fine on their own.
Jaime was still very weak - and the surgery meant her brain would be 'foggy' for at least a few more days - but once again she had something she was determined to say. She flashed Steve a lopsided (but radiant) smile. ''I love you...and...I'm so sorry. Please...don't leave...''
''Sweetheart, never; I promise you that. And...I'm sorry too. I love you...so much.'' Steve let go of Jaime's hand and found that he could just barely reach to caress her cheek with his fingertips. She leaned into his loving touch as they both drifted back into a healing sleep.
They passed most of that day in the same manner - waking briefly, not able to say much yet but gaining strength from each other. In the middle of the night, Jaime began tossing restlessly in the throes of a (dreaming) flashback, rousing Steve...who was unable to wake her. He pressed her call button (threaded through the rail between them) and Michael appeared within minutes. He checked her monitors and then found that he, too, was unable to free Jaime from her nightmare - so he sent a nurse for a light dose of valium while Steve held her hand. When the medicine took effect, Jaime quieted into a more restful slumber.
''Her vitals are normal,'' Michael whispered. ''I won't wake her now. But we'll run tests in the morning.''
Steve nodded, and Michael went back to his office to try and catch another hour or two of sleep. Steve had been unable to ignore the look on Michael's face as he'd leaned over Jaime. The doctor had done nothing untoward or out of line, but his eyes had said it all. Steve filed the knowledge away for future reference.
First thing in the morning, Michael arrived with a lab tech and together the two of them eased Jaime up into a sitting position and then helped her into a wheelchair for the trip down to the lab for follow-up x-rays and tests. The tech took her away and Michael remained for a few moments, looking at the read-outs from her monitors, then turned to go. For Steve, though, even weak and in pain...it was time.
''Michael...I think we need to talk,'' he began. Michael paused, then pulled up a chair. He didn't need to ask what this was about. ''What you did the other day,'' Steve told him, ''...you saved my life. And I am so grateful. I can't even begin to thank you. You saved Jaime's life too, when she had the clot. You're an amazing doctor. But...I'm not talking to the doctor now.'' Steve looked his rival straight in the eyes. ''I can see the way you look at her – and you knowwhat I saw last week.''
''Steve, I -''
''Jaime is my wife...and whatever you had - whatever you might think you still have - it's over, Michael. I will fight for my marriage. Period. Not with my fists...not anymore...but with everything that's in my heart. And you can't have her!''
''I know,'' Michael said quietly. ''Steve, I'm sorry. I never meant to come between the two of you. It just happened - and it shouldn't have.''
''You still have feelings for her; I can see that, too,'' Steve stated. ''But -''
''But I'll keep them to myself.''
''Thank you. I'd hoped you'd say that because I'd really like you to continue as her doctor...but only if you can guarantee to me that what I saw will never - and I mean not even once - happen again.''
''You have my word - as a physician and as a man,'' Michael promised. He extended his hand and met Steve's eyes evenly and without flinching as they shook on their agreement.
It was time for real, true healing to begin - and Mark knew that for that to happen, Jaime and Steve needed to face the situation that had nearly ripped them apart. ''Start at the beginning,'' he told them.
''I didn't like the way Michael was holding you after you nearly fell,'' Steve told Jaime. ''But I was way out of line in what I said - especially what I said to you. I know that now. But the next day, when his hand was on your face...well, there's no reason for a doctor to touch a patient that way. None. Ever. And...I really lost it. What hurts me the most in all of this is that I made you feel afraid to be near me. And I don't want you to ever feel that way again.''
Jaime nodded...and reached for his hand. ''Things happened...so gradually...that I didn't realize anything was even happening at all...until I was right in the middle of it. I thought you were being unreasonable.''
''A selfish, overprotective macho jerk,'' Steve added.
''Well...yeah. Except...you were right, Steve. Because something was going on. I never...well, I never meant to hurt you. And I'm so sorry.''
''Do you love him, Jaime?'' Steve asked, very quietly.
''No. I love you...and I don't wanna lose 'us'.''
''I don't either,'' Steve told her. He leaned across the bed rails and they shared a kiss: soft, tender and full of hope and promise.
From his chair where he was quietly supervising, Mark smiled.