Chapter 21

That evening (after they'd had a few hours to recuperate), it was time for another session. Mark knew now that Jaime and Steve had started really talking with each other, it was important not to let them stop. It was time to ask the tough questions, to bare their souls and bring the painful truths forward where they could confront what had happened (and each other), lay the past to rest and truly heal together.

''I won't be sparing either one of you here,'' he warned before they began. ''This will be tough - but it's necessary.'' The bedrails had been lowered, and Steve and Jaime moved a little closer together, seeming to brace each other for what was to come. Mark hoped they'd still be that close together when the session ended. He almost hated to put them through it, but if they didn't face their issues - ALL of their issues - completely and thoroughly, the emotional wounds would fester and inevitably tear them apart. ''Steve, tell Jaime what you were thinking when you put your fist through the wall. And Jaime, I want you to just listen - hard as that may be.''

Steve looked at Jaime with pain in his eyes. ''Well, I saw Michael touching your face and you turned toward him instead of pulling away. It...turned my stomach. Just for a second, I saw Kingsley with his hands on you but when I punched the wall...it was Michael I was punching. I figured...better the wall than his face.''

''And you got that angry over one simple touch - why?'' Mark prompted.

''I'd talked to Rudy that morning and found out that Michael and Jaime had been in love - not just having a casual fling - three years ago. I'd always suspected that but never really wanted or needed to know. So to come from that and see Michael touching her...it was just too much. I lost it.''

''Tell Jaime,'' Mark reminded him. ''Not me.''

Steve nodded. It was easier to tell it to Mark (which was really hard enough), but to look his wife in the eyes and lay it all out there was devastating. Still, he trusted the therapist implicitly - and he was determined to save his marriage. ''Sweetheart, after I punched the wall, you didn't come to me, to see if I was alright. You grabbed onto Michael...and cried on his shoulder. It...hurt. A lot. And all I wanted to do was rip him away from you and knock him clear into next week. You turned to him for comfort! And you...were afraid of me! I never meant for you to be afraid of me! I would cut off my flesh and blood arm before I'd ever hurt you!''

Mark sat back quietly, temporarily stopping his own questions because Steve was on a roll of his own. Jaime was listening to him silently (as instructed), opening her mouth to answer but forcing herself to wait. Tears streamed down her face as she took in every bit of her husband's pain.

''I decided to leave you,'' Steve went on, ''because I didn't ever want you to have to be afraid again. That look in your eyes...it broke my heart.'' It was getting more difficult for him to go on because Steve had never been one to talk easily about his own feelings and this was dangerously emotional territory for him - but he found his courage and kept going. ''Michael came with you - to the house - and instead of asking me not to leave, you...you leaned on him again! I thought it was your way of...telling me it was over. Then, when you were back in the hospital and I decided to come back and try and make things work between us...I saw...well, you know what I saw.''

''Tell her, Steve!'' Mark insisted.

Steve's voice grew heavier, thick with emotion and pain. He had to force himself to look at Jaime and keep going, especially in light of the pain that was streaming silently down her face. ''You...were in his arms. But even worse...he was in your arms! And it wasn't even a quick peck on the cheek! It was...the kind of kiss that would probably have led somewhere, if you hadn't been in a hospital bed. I saw you...pulling him closer - and I saw the look on your face. That was when I had those papers drawn up, because you wanted him more than you wanted me!'' There. It was done. He had laid himself completely bare, his pain fresh, raw and out on the table.

Mark nodded. ''Jaime, it's your turn now. I want you to look Steve straight in the eyes - and tell him exactly why you turned to another man instead of your husband.''

Jaime looked pleadingly at Mark, who looked back with a steady, even (and expectant) gaze. Slowly, Jaime turned toward Steve. ''I didn't...'' She took a deep, shuddering breath and tried again. ''When you first accused Michael...when I was dizzy and he caught me...there was nothing happening there. At least, nothing on my end and nothing I saw. And when you...yelled at him, it made me want to take his side, to defend him. Then when I was crying and...and you saw him touching my face...I guess maybe...he shouldn't have done that. But it wasn't like he made a pass at me! It scared me...so much...when you punched that wall. I didn't wanna look - didn't want to see that side of you. Michael was there - his shoulder was there - and I hid my face. I wasn't thinking, except that I didn't want to watch what was happening to you. I was afraid it would trigger a flashback and we'd end up tearing at each other again. So yeah...I hid my face. Then you...you threw him - and if Mark hadn't stepped in, God knows what would've happened! The dent in the wall could've been in Michael's skull!''

Jaime had to catch her breath...and her emotions. She swallowed hard, tried wiping the tears from her cheeks but found they were only replaced with more that she was unable to stop - then she took another quivering breath and went on.

''He'd wanted to wait for you that morning, before giving me my test results - did you know that? But I made him tell me...and that's why I was crying. When I...had to call Security...it wasn't to protect Michael. It was to protect you! I didn't want you to murder anyone! You...you really scared me, Steve! I was afraid for you...didn't understand what was happening to you! When we - Mark, Michael and me - went to the house, I was gonna pack a bag and put it in the closet, in case you...'' (Jaime needed a couple more deep, steadying breaths.) ''...in case you took a swing at me. But I wanted to try...to talk to you, to work it out. And...you were leaving. I grabbed onto Michael because...well...for comfort, I guess. And when you left - really, truly left- while I was in the hospital, it was Michael who had to tell me you were gone. And I...''

Jaime stopped and looked toward Mark, unsure she could continue. ''Tell him the rest of it,'' Mark instructed. ''You've come this far; you're almost there. Just do it; tell him!''

''I looked at Michael...and his eyes...he was so compassionate. So...warm when I felt so cold and afraid. He...held me...while I cried - over you - and it felt...it was...just what I needed. I knew it was wrong but I felt so alone - and he was there. He cared. And...he stayed with me, while they were trying to find you. When I cried, he wiped the tears away...and when I was scared...he...held me. And I...well...I...kissed him. Not a heavy kiss - not the first time. But later - when I didn't know you were...standing there...I looked in his eyes and saw love - exactly when I was feeling unloved. I kissed him again...and for the moment, it was what I needed. It went...way too far. I know that - I knew it then - but...I needed to feel close to someone. And you were gone...so I needed him. When I heard you react to...us...I knew things had to stop. For good. And they did. They have! So after my surgery, when you offered to annul our marriage...I didn't know what to think anymore! I'd chosen you - and you were leaving anyway! But then...you took a bullet...to save me.'' It was finished; she had done it too - laid it all out, bare and ugly. They were both crying now - Jaime almost uncontrollably and Steve with pain-filled tears falling single-file from his eye.

Jaime and Steve did precisely what Mark had hoped they would do next: they wrapped their arms around each other and began the important task of consoling each other. Healing had begun.