Hunting

Iceshadow walked out into the cold forest with Snakeclaw. She hoped soon the cold weather would break and Newleaf would follow. When she voiced this thought to Snakeclaw he simply nodded without looking her in the eye. They were completely alone. Iceshadow tried to avoid looking into his eyes by looking at the familiar pine trees, seeking a distraction in the needles softly falling and the diffused light coming through the canopy. But finally she couldn't stand not looking at him anymore.

Her eyes were drawn to him, she couldn't break them away. It hurt to see the concern in his eyes, but she couldn't look away once she'd looked into his amber eyes.

"Iceshadow." His voice woke a part of her that had been sleeping. The part that felt. The way his whiskers twitched.

I felt. I felt when he wasn't there. She tried to pin down what she was feeling. I felt pain. What was this? The tingling, apprehensive feeling? She hadn't felt this since the first time she'd seen him. There was pain, but there was also something else. Pain of what she'd done, and how it changed her. He didn't know her anymore. What if he didn't love her anymore?

Like a clawmark, that thought stung and stung and didn't really stop. His eyes calmed her slightly, but her heart was beating fast. Fear? He smiled at her, whiskers twitching up. "Iceshadow?"

"I'm glad you remember my name." Could she really try to act normal around him? Now?

Snakeclaw laughed. "You were staring at me for ages."

"I like staring at you." Iceshadow replied, whiskers twitching up for the first time in a long time.

After a while, Snakeclaw stopped the easy, light conversation that Iceshadow was starting to become fond of. It was simple, easy and it was what she needed. Or what would keep her together.

"Talk to me." He was growling. Iceshadow instinctively stepped back, and would have growled at him, but the look in his eyes stopped her.

The silence hurt in her throat. "I clawed myself." She choked. "I clawed myself and I didn't know why, only that I needed it more and more." Iceshadow couldn't look at him, couldn't stop talking. "Snakeclaw, it hurt and I kept doing it and I don't know what's wrong with me."

Snakeclaw brushed his fur against hers. Warmth flooded from him to her, and she rested her chin on his back. His touch was gentle and steady. "Iceshadow," he said softly.

Iceshadow tore herself from him to look into his eyes.

"It doesn't matter."

She blinked in confusion. "What?" The word was hoarse coming from her mouth, disbelief in her blue eyes.

"It doesn't matter." Snakeclaw repeated himself slowly. "I love you, no matter what. And do you know what?" He gently looked at her, lifting a paw and placing it over hers.

"What?" Iceshadow asked, voice trembling. She ached to bury herself in him again, close her eyes and forget the world while listening to his heartbeat, but she forced to look into his eyes until he finished talking.

If she hadn't known better, she would have sworn that he was silently laughing at her. "We're going hunting."

"Hunting?" Iceshadow stared at him. "Hunting?"

"Hunting. Come on. We're going to talk over a nice mouse, or sparrow, or something." Snakeclaw said as he padded away from her. "Are you coming?" he turned back, and she knew she couldn't say no to him.

"Always," she murmured.